"Mr. Callum, do you know why you're here right now?" a young, redheaded detective asked me as she sat on the opposite side of the metal table.

In the small, questioning room were four police officers, a detective, and the one and only - me.

I simply adore myself.

And the fact that these numpties actually think that I committed a murder makes me want to quit on humanity.

"I'm here because you think I have killed my foster parents, which you would know I did not if you're actually any good at your job," I replied to her question with harshness. She deserved nothing more from me.

Her left eye started twitching as she took deep breaths, which made me realize that I slightly pissed her off.

I can also see it by the way her chest rose rapidly as the time flew by. Oh, her chest. I could stare at her two beautiful friends all day long.

She cleared her throat and put a strand of hair behind her ear, focusing my attention a little more upwards.

"Mr. Callum, what are you thinking about at this moment?" she asked, curiously analyzing me.

Although she wanted to be calm and professional, I noticed her losing patience. She wanted to get inside of my head and figure this case out so she can go home and watch porn. I get it, sometimes I'm like that too.

"Oh, ma'am, you really don't want to know that," I replied, a smirk appearing on my face.

I think, if people could read my mind, they would kill themselves shortly afterward. It's not a place for innocent people or any kind of people, really.

"I think I'll have to risk it," she said, still resistant. What does this have to do with solving their murder?

Oh, well. She wanted to know.

"I have 'inappropriate' thoughts with you in them," I said, nonchalantly leaning back in my chair.

She opened her mouth in shock and I could notice the blood rushing to her cheeks, painting her face red. "Excuse me?" she gasped, terror filling her eyes.

"Oh, yes. I have a dirty mind and right now, you're running through it - naked," I said, pretty satisfied with my words. That should put them off my back. I'm not good at handling luggage.

The cops coughed awkwardly, but her face... Her face was priceless.

She slammed her hands against the desk and fiercely got up. "I can't handle this kid," she mumbled furiously, storming out of the interrogation room.

I looked at the cops, raising my eyebrows while they blankly stared at me. "What? Everyone was thinking it, I just said it."

✧

"All right, Draven. This is all yours," Mrs. Embers, the woman who worked in the orphanage, said while leading me into a small and dark room. It only consisted of a desk, chair, window, which surprisingly had bars on it, a closet, and a bed.

If Mrs. Embers wasn't in her late fifties, I would definitely make a dirty joke. Or even better, make her dirty.

I dropped my stuff on the floor and thanked her for such a delightful service. After I had studied my new room, I sat on the bed, which wasn't comfortable for my taste.

"Dr. East is going to visit you any moment now," she said after a moment of silence and looked down on me, leaving the room.

What the hell?

Why is fucking psychiatrist going to visit me in the middle of the night? It's almost midnight, at this time I was going to watch porn and jerk o-

"Hello, Draven," an old man said and entered the room, interrupting my erotic fantasies. I couldn't help myself but notice his filthy American accent.

He closed the doors behind him and approached the bed. "Do you know why am I here?" he questioned me carefully.

"I don't know who the fuck are you or what you're doing in my room at this time of the night," I replied rudely.

"I am Wayne East, your psychiatrist. The reason for me being here this late is because I think this way, you're going to open up about your feelings more than at daytime," he explained, sitting down on a chair in front of me.

I couldn't suppress a laugh any further. He sounded like he has a bloody dick in his mouth.

"What is so funny, Draven?" he asked, but that was just making me laugh more.

"I'm sorry," I paused. "Well, actually, I'm not. You just sound like a farting fish."

It's nothing personal. I just don't like Americans or fish.

Especially fish.

"Draven, that was rough," he said like he was hurt from my words. "Don't you think that may have pulled out my insecurities on the surface?"

I snorted at his dumb question. No way, I could be harder than that. Well, in that way too.

"Can I ask questions for a change? This is boring the living shit out of me," I insisted, a mischievous smirk spreading across my face.

He raised his eyebrows and leaned back in the chair, signaling me to continue.

"What are you scared of?" I asked curiously, following his reaction with my eyes.

"Well, erm," he stalled, looking like he just pissed his pants.

I smirked. "C'mon, Doc. I'm trying to bond here!"

He looked at me for a second, before he finally answered my question. "I have always been scared of clowns."

He frowned, but my smirk grew bigger. "Those awful, white clowns with big shoes and red noses," he described with disgust.

Oh, so Pennywise.

"You have nothing to be ashamed of, this is totally staying between us," I said, closing my eyes.

I heard him talking to me, probably something I wouldn't understand, but I distanced myself from any further distractions and focused on making this happen.

I visualized exactly what he described - a dear ol' friend of mine.

Ooh, Pennywise, I called him in my thoughts.

"What the actual fuck?! Shit!"

I opened my eyes to find Doc shrimped in the corner of the room, with eyes wide opened and in front of him was exactly who I imagined.

"How the fuck did you do that?! Get him out, now!" he manically screamed at me as Pennywise cornered him, a disgusting smile creeping from his wet lips.

I shrugged and waved my hand goodbye. "Have a good time, you two lovebirds," I said and exited my room, closing the door behind me.

Now, what shall I do in here? I looked to my left, down the hall. Where was the kitchen? I'm kinda hungry.

Maybe they can serve me a stripper as well.

I walked to the end of the hall and turned left. This was like a fucking maze.

Before I could walk any further, a movement caught my eye and I stopped. Ten meters away, a girl froze when she noticed me as she was leaving her room.

Well, this will be fun.

"Excuse me, which level of hell is this?" I asked as I walked towards her. Confusion spread across her face as she wrapped arms around herself.

"What kind of question is that?" her voice echoed through the hall, although she was trying to be quiet.

"There are, like, thousands of halls in this shitpouch, so I just wondered."

"Shitpouch?"

Ugh, great, I'm dealing with a dumb person. I hate uneducated people.

"That's pretty much just a hopeless sack of shit," I informed her, crossing arms on my chest.

That's when I noticed a glass wall which she was standing in front of. "What the hell is that?" I pointed my finger towards it.

"It's like our living room, we hang out here and play games," she said, obviously uninterested in it.

"Why are you here? I mean, shouldn't you be in your room?" I asked, looking at the opened door that led to the room behind her.

She raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms. "Shouldn't you be in your room? It's one in the morning."

Shit, I didn't think about that one.

"I asked you first."

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. "That's none of your business, really."

"Well, it is, because I could report to Mrs. Embers I saw you sneaking out while I was innocently going to the bathroom."

"They won't believe you, I heard what you did to your parents. They trust me because they know me longer," she said roughly.

Ouch. Does she think I killed them?

"I didn't do anything-" I tried to explain myself, but I stopped. I'm the Devil and I don't need to defend myself to this numpty.

She rolled her eyes in annoyance. "This is how it's gonna go. You didn't see me and vice-versa."

Oh, she thought she can get away that easily. "But what if?" I smirked.

"What if what?" she furrowed her eyebrows in suspicion.

"What if karma decides to slam my fist into this glass because you were so fucking rude?" I asked her, mimicking what I just said.

Her body stiffened and I saw a glimpse of panic in her eyes. But then, she laughed. "You wouldn't."

"Believe me, I would."

She scoffed. "Yeah, right. Because you are so brave."

I smirked. "Challenge accepted."

"No!" she loudly whispered, trying to stop me, but she was too far away and I was way faster.

My fist went through the glass wall, shattering it into million small pieces as blood started dripping against my skin.

"Oh, what a lovely little mess I've made," I said with a psychotic smile.

"Are you fucking insane?! Do you know what the fuck have you just done?! You fucking moron!" she kept yelling and insulting me, eventually slapping my back in anger.

Hey, it wasn't my fault that she literally poked her nose into my business.

"If you keep cursing, you'll end up in Hell," I informed her.

"You just cursed, like, 50 times," she replied, glaring at me with a look that could kill. For a blonde, small girl, she could look worse than the Devil himself.

Hah, yeah right.

"But I can't go to Hell. You know, been there, done that," I shrugged.

Suddenly, the lights turned on and started flickering. Panic rose in her eyes as we heard the distant voices now coming closer.

"You are fucking crazy, do you know that?" she asked rhetorically.

I smirked. "Well, you'll have to spank me next time. It's the only way I learn."

"Alya, Draven! What is this?!" I heard a female voice yelling from behind. I turned my head towards her and smiled as Mrs. Embers looked down at my bloody hand in pure horror.

Just as I was about to say something, Alya interrupted me. "Draven was looking for the bathroom and I was headed there too, but we didn't see each other, so I accidentally bumped into him and that's how this happened."

Did she just make up a story to cover for me? I snapped my head in her direction to find her begging me to go along with her lame story.

"Yeah, but I'm fine, Mrs. E," I said, flashing her a reassuring smile.

She nodded. "Draven, you'll need to come with me and-"

She was interrupted by a loud, male scream. All three of us snapped our heads towards the direction where it came from, confusion appearing on their faces.

But I knew what was this about and all I wanted to do was laugh. Soon afterward, Doc came running towards us through the hallway. While being shirtless.

"Dr. East, what-"

"You!" he stopped in front of me and poked his finger into my chest. He glared into my eyes, but as soon as he saw my bloody hand, his face expression softened.

"Oh, blood..." was all he said, before he passed out, falling on the floor.

Americans, am I right? All heads turned towards me and I raised my eyebrows.

"Wait, that came out loud?"

✧✧✧