"Because if Master doesn't punish me, then I'll have to punish myself."

"Angelo? Why is he saying that? That's not normal, right?" I heard Davin ask in a worried tone, and I shook my head.

"It's not normal at all. Shit...!" I squeezed my eyes close, but then reopened them to look at Harley. "Please stop apologizing, Pup. I'm not going to punish you and I won't let you punish yourself, so stop apologizing."

Harley bit his bottom lip, but nodded. "Ok, Master..."

I pulled him up and hugged him tightly. "I love you, Harley. I love you so much, ok? You know that I love you, right?"

"Mm, I love you too, Master. I know how much you love me." He squeezed my shoulders, but I pulled his head back.

"Stop calling me that, Harley. Call me by my name, please." I pecked his lips, then looked over at Davin. "Can you leave for a few minutes? I'll call you back in once Harley has calmed down."

"Yes, of course. Take your time, seriously." He grabbed his clothes, then left after quietly closing the door behind himself.

"I'm sorry, Master."

I bit my lip when I saw the sad look in Harley's eyes. His lips were in a small frown and his brows were furrowed.

"Harley, please stop apologizing. I'm not going to forgive you for anything because you didn't do anything wrong, Pup. I'm not upset, Davin isn't upset. Stop apologizing, ok?" I kissed all over his face and he released a big breath.

"I'm not getting a punishment?" I shook my head and he tilted his head. "I don't have to punish myself?"

"No, Harley. You don't have to do any of that." I pecked his lips and moved off the bed. "I'm getting some clothes for you."

I quickly went in the closet and threw on some clothes, then grabbed a loose shirt and some briefs for Harley. I went back in the room and helped Harley dress.

"Angelo..." Harley frowned, then stuffed his face in my chest. "I'm sorry for freaking out."

"Harley, I told you to stop apologizing. You don't need to apologize for anything, so stop." I kissed the top of his head and he nodded. "I love you, alright?"

"I love you, too."

I kissed his head again and made him more comfortable. "Are you tired?"

"Mhm..." he yawned and I silently cooed.

"Take a nap and I'll wake you up later."

"Mm, ok."

I pulled the sheets up higher over him and pulled him to my side. He closed his eyes and his breathing evened out after a few minutes.

I slowly exhaled and kissed his cheek, then very slowly climbed out of bed. I put a pillow in my place and walked out of the room, heading downstairs to find Davin on the couch.

"He's sleeping." I sat beside him and sighed. "I wasn't expecting that."

"Neither was I." Davin swallowed. "Why did he react like that?"

"It's not my place to tell, so I'll let Harley explain later if he wants to, but it has something to do with a past relationship. He said he was over his past, but now I know that he isn't." I brushed my hair back and sighed again. "I don't know what I'm going to say when he wakes up."

Davin moved closer to me and laid his head down on my left shoulder. "I think you should talk more about what happened in that past relationship so you can help him get better. Plus, it's good that you guys will be talking about what happened so you can try to understand why Harley reacted the way he did."

I nodded and patted his thigh, but felt him grab my hand and link our fingers together. "He'll be ok once you talk with him."

"I hope so..."

We stayed silent for a few minutes before Davin sat up. "I can make dinner for you guys if you want?"

I nodded. "If you don't mind?"

"Yeah, it's completely fine." He got up, but then turned to me. "What would you want to eat?"

"Just make something simple. I don't really care." I waved my hand and he nodded, walking to the kitchen.

I laid down on the couch and made myself more comfortable. I closed my eyes and slowly exhaled, falling asleep to the noises that Davin made in the kitchen.

_________________________

"Angelo."

I opened my eyes and looked at Davin with hooded eyes. "Hm?'

"Dinner is ready, and it's almost seven."

My eyes widened a bit more at that. "You let me sleep for that long?"

"Well, yeah. You seemed tired and stressed before you fell asleep, so I decided to let you sleep. Harley is still sleeping, too." His fingers gently brushed over my face, but he quickly pulled them away when I looked at him with tired eyes. "Do you want me to wake up Harley?"

"Please?" I yawned. "I'm still tired."

Davin nodded and got up, heading upstairs. I remained on the couch until I heard steps walking back down and looked up to see him carrying Harley down. The latters head rested on his shoulder and he weakly hugged Davin's neck with his left arm. Davin walked over to me and set Harley down on top of me.

"I'll bring the food."

I slowly sat up with Harley on my lap and kissed his cheek. "Are you hungry?"

"Yeah..." Harley tiredly answered and rubbed his eyes, then set his head down on my shoulder. "What are we eating?"

"I made grilled chicken with cooked vegetables and fried rice. Angelo said something simple, so here it is." Davin placed two plates in front of us on the coffee table and sat beside me with his own plate.

We thanked him and I grabbed the fork, stabbing a piece of the chicken and holding it up for Harley. He took the piece and slowly chewed, laying his head back on my shoulder.

Davin watched me feed Harley for a while and I finally turned to look at him. "You want to feed him?"

He blushed a bit, but then nodded. I placed Harley on his lap and moved his plate closer to Davin's. I grabbed my own and sat back, eating my food and watching Davin feed a tired Harley. We ate dinner quietly and Harley was more awake but still quiet. He was wrapped up in a blanket beside me as he watched the tv. His head rested on my thigh and I slowly rubbed his head.

Davin's phone suddenly started ringing and he picked it up, probably talking with Wesley. "The boys are asking if they can sleep over for tonight, Angelo."

"Yeah, I'll pick them up tomorrow. Is Wesley working?" I asked.

"No, he works every other Monday now." I nodded and Davin got up. "It's getting late, so I think I'll go home."

Harley stayed in place but looked up at him with a small smile. "Goodnight, Davin."

"Goodnight, Harley." Davin leaned down to kiss his head and gently patted his cheek, straightening up and heading for the front door.

"I'll be back, Harley." I made sure he heard, then followed Davin out to his car.

When we stopped in front of his car, Davin turned to me and chuckled lightly. "What an eventful day we had, huh?"

I smiled, but nodded. "I'm just happy that Harley is fine now."

"Me too..." Davin smiled, then looked down. "Well, thanks for allowing me to have a threesome with you guys. I'll see you...tomorrow maybe?"

"Yeah, I'll probably see you tomorrow."

Davin suddenly pulled me into a hug and kissed my cheek. "Goodnight, Angelo."

When we pulled away, he hopped in his car and backed out of the driveway as he waved at me. I stared at him in slight confusion, but closed the gate and went back in the house, locking the door.

I turned the kitchen lights off as well as the tv, causing Harley to look up at me with furrowed brows. "Are we going to bed, already?"

"Yes." I picked him up and left the blanket on the couch, walking up the stairs. "I want to talk about earlier."

"But I don't want to..." Harley whined, but I shook my head.

I closed my room door and took Harley to the bathroom. We did our night routine, then Harley jumped in bed and hid himself under the blankets. I climbed in after a few minutes but left the lamp on that was on the nightstand.

"Harley." I moved my hand under the sheets and felt fingers. I grabbed them, but they pulled my hand with them and I felt teeth gently nibble on my fingers. I chuckled softly. "Come on, Harley. We need to talk. You already knew that this conversation would come at some point."

I tugged my hand away and Harley followed it, climbing over me but then stopping.

"Can I grab Stevie?" He asked me quietly and I nodded. He jumped out of bed, grabbed Stevie from the closet, and tucked himself into my side, placing the purple hippo on my chest and settling down. "What do you want me to say?"

"Why did you say that you would have to punish yourself earlier? You were begging to be punished as well, but you sounded so desperate and it made me confused." I gently brushed his jaw and Harley leaned into my hand.

"It's exactly as it sounds. I've told you that my ex abused and manipulated me for over a year. Until today, I realized that it's like he still had control over me mentally." Harley slowly exhaled and squeezed Stevie in his hand.

"Can you go into more detail as to what he would do to you and what you would do to punish yourself? But only if you're comfortable with telling me. It's completely fine if you don't want to, though." I kissed the top of his head and he nodded. I pulled the sheets higher up to his shoulder and hugged his side.

"You already know that he was my first Dominant and I was new to the BDSM community, too. Ryan, my ex, knew my limits after a couple months, but when we started doing scenes, he got more rough on me over time. He wouldn't give me breaks when he'd flog or cane me, and when I would safeword, he would say that I would learn to take more and enjoy it. I obviously know that people can learn to take more hits than they're used to, but Ryan did it in a way that didn't help me enjoy the process of taking more hits. I talked to him about it, since it wasn't giving me pleasure, but he still said that it wouldn't matter because I'd learn to enjoy it. After that, I wouldn't complain as much during scenes because I thought that that's just how things went, which made Ryan happy. I guess he thought that I wouldn't ever complain again because the first time I did complain, he was whipping me a lot more than usual and I safeworded..."

Harley paused and I looked down at him to see him biting his bottom lip. I gently cupped his face and turned it up to me. "You don't have to continue if you don't want to, Harley."

He slowly nodded. "I want to tell you it all right now, Master. I'm comfortable enough to tell you all about my past with him."

I smiled and pecked his lips, pulling him up higher beside me and letting him continue.

"I safeworded because he kept whipping me even more than usual, and he flipped out. He said that I ruined the scene for him and that he shouldn't care about how I was feeling because the Dominant's pleasure was the top priority in a Dominant and submissive relationship. He continued whipping me even though I was begging and crying for him to stop, and I'm not sure how long he went for, but it felt like a long time. I guess I blacked out a bit between because I remember him yelling at me once I was untied that I made a mess. I apparently threw up in the middle of the scene because of how hard I was crying. He untied me, yelled at me, and made me clean up the mess. He forced me to wash his clothes by hand as well because I accidentally hit him with my puke. As soon as I finished cleaning, I was thrown into my room and Ryan locked me in. I reminded him about my aftercare, but he said that since I ruined the scene, he wouldn't perform aftercare on me. I went into a really deep subdrop for the next few days, and I got into trouble because of it.

"Ryan punished me for it, which just made me worse and I guess I fell into a sort of depressed state while I was with him. Then one day, he apologized to me and said how bad he felt, and so I forgave him because I loved him, but he just did it all over again and again after that, but I still continued to forgive him each time. After the first few times that I 'ruined' a scene for him, he would grab me after a scene and yell at me, then..."

Harley pressed his cheek to my chest and I squeezed his hand. "He gave me one of his knives...a-and made me cut myself on my arms. He would count each time I cut, then after about five to fifteen cuts, he'd throw me into my room with the first aid kit and tell me that I wasn't allowed to eat dinner, and sometimes, he wouldn't let me eat breakfast the day after. He did that to me so many times and I thought it was normal. I thought that every single submissive in the world went through this, and even started thinking about retiring from the BDSM community because I thought I wasn't strong enough to handle the pain. Ryan would also manipulate me into not telling anyone about what was going on. He said that if I were to tell one of my friends, they'd think that I was too weak to be a submissive. He told me so many lies and I believed all of them because he was my first Dominant and he was experienced, while I wasn't.

"The reason I get...super horny and break even more rules after a few months is because of the way Ryan made me think. I still even do things that I did when I was with him today, because I can't help it. I still have it stuck in my head that I should continue pushing myself past my limit to pleasure my Dominant no matter what. That I should punish myself and beg for a punishment when I don't receive it from my Dominant, that the Dominant's pleasure is more important than my own, that I should focus more on my Dominant rather than my own self. I sometimes don't even want to receive aftercare because I feel like I'm wasting your time." Harley breathed slowly for a few moments and hugged me tighter. "If I'm being really honest, I've been trying to make myself perfect for you. I've been trying to keep myself from breaking rules. When you gave me that punishment a few months ago, I really thought that that was the end and that I was going to get hurt again and I was fine with it, because I still really do believe the things that Ryan told me."

"Fuck, Harley, why didn't you tell me?" I cupped his face and he looked at me with a pout.

"I was scared, Master. I didn't want to make you mad just in case."

"I would never get mad at you unless it was something that you did on purpose." I hugged him tightly and kissed his head, then pulled away and held his chin. "The first time we played, when I did that scene on you on the third floor, did I ever push you past your limit there? And tell me the truth, Harley, please."

He bit the inside of his cheek and placed his head down. "I didn't want to make you mad, Master..."

"Harley-" I sighed and rubbed my face, immediately feeling guilty that I didn't read Harley's body language at the time. "I literally told you when we first filled out the sheet for our limits that if we were to safeword or something that has to do with slowing down the scene or stopping it, we wouldn't have to apologize for it. I'm not going to get mad at you for stopping a scene, and I promised you that I never would. In fact, I'm more mad at the fact that you didn't tell me to slow down or you didn't safeword at that time and today."

He whined at that. "I'm sorry, Master. Am I going to receive a punishment?"

"No, you're not getting a punishment, Harley. I won't give you punishments unless I think that you do deserve one. Are you ok with that?" I asked and tilted his head to look up at me.

He stared at me for a few seconds, then slowly nodded. "I'm ok with that, Master."

I kissed his cheek and let his head rest back on my chest. "Did I ever push you past your limit the other times we did scenes?"

"No, Master, you didn't. I was really happy at how the scenes went smoothly and I was super happy that you gave me really good aftercare once we finished the scenes." He kissed my chin and hugged my shoulders.

"It makes me happy that I can make you feel like that." I rubbed his head and he just chuckled. "I'm serious, Harley. It gives me a lot of pleasure to know that I can make you feel good and that I'm the cause of that pleasure."

"You're probably a pleasure Dominant. You think you can get off on the idea of pleasing others?" Harley raised a brow with a small smirk.

"Definitely. I just like making people feel good." I hummed." Remember the first time I gave you a blowjob the day that you first slept over my house?"

"Yeah."

"I came from just sucking you off, so I've already orgasmed from pleasing someone."

We both chuckled and I hugged Harley tightly. "But thank you for opening up to me and telling me more about your past. I really do appreciate you opening up. I promise I'll help you change the way you think into a positive mindset so that you can focus more on pleasing me, your Dominant, but also yourself so that we can both feel good. Not just one of us."

Harley smiled with happy tears in his eyes and pecked my lips. "Thank you, Angelo."

"Of course, Harley." I kissed his forehead. "I love you, Pup."

He snuggled deeper into my chest. "I love you too, Master."

I smiled to myself and reached over the nightstand, turning off the lamp.

___________________________________

Well...now we know more about Harley's past and why he thinks the way he does.

What do you guys think?

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed! See you all next time, BYE!!! :))

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