I stared up at John a bit shocked and surprised. He looked down at me as I bit my lip.

"So?" He asked.

"So..what?"

"What do you think about all of this?"

"I dunno John. I should feel happy but...I don't really know how I feel. A part of me feels excited and relieved but, a huge part of me is wondering..why?"

"What do you mean?" He asked looking a bit confused. "I thought this is what ye wanted. Were gettin divorced, no more Cyn so now we can.."

"We can what John?? What did you think just cause you tell me you and her aren't together anymore, I'd jump into your arms and we'd live happily ever after just like that? John...you don't know me at all."

"But you said.."

"John you broke my heart. I still love you yes but..that trust is broken. I stayed with you for four years hoping you'd change. But you always went back. And I can't risk all of that again."

He looked completely torn. To be honest it was breaking my heart to see him like this. Knowing I was the one hurting him now. But it was all the truth. He needed to know this.

"Lucy, I don't know what to say."

"Go John. Go to practice and focus on your career. Maybe this break from Cynthia will remind you exactly what your true passion is. Why you wanted to become musician in the first place."

"To change the world." He whispered. I smile and nodded.

"See, you're getting a start already."

He sighed and looked at me. "Lucy. I'm sorry. I know it's not enough to change what we once had or what we could have but, I just need you to know that. I'm just so fuckin sorry."

I nodded and watched as he kissed my cheek and turned on his heel, grabbing his coat off the bed and making his way out of the room. I just stared at the closed door and felt a tear roll down my cheek as I thought about the next few weeks.

..

August 19, 1964

It was almost time for the band to get on stage as it crept to nine in the evening. I peeked from the side of the stage to see a full house. I smiled and remembered the clubs from the old days. When the guys were excited to just get twenty people to watch them. Just a few years later, they're performing on stage for over seventeen thousand people. Mostly girls but hey, atleast their records are selling.

I was looking out into the crowd as I heard someone speak behind me.

"It's still all too surreal to me."

I smiled. "Yeah. I was once one of those people out in the crowd watching you guys play." I turned to face George. "Now I'm just the journalist backstage observing you."

"Yeah well unlike them, ye get to come back to the hotels with us." He smirked kissing my cheek. I smiled and shoved him.

"Yeah well, atleast I get my own room this time. Listening to someone else have sex while I was trying to get some sleep was enough to still make me sleepless to this day."

"Yeah, tell me about it. Just imagine 'avin to listen to you an John almost every night. 'Ah John harder! Ah John don't stop! Fuck me just like George does!'"

I giggled as a Journalist walked by and looked at George like he was completely crazy.

"I'm pretty sure I never said that last part. So you listened in all those times? You're such a naughty boy Geo." I smiled ruffling his hair. He made a face.

"I was forced."

"You could have waited outside." I said grabbing the pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, grabbing one and putting it back. He smiled and lit it for me as I put it to my lips.

"Yeah well, what's the fun in that?" He said grabbing the cig out from between my lips and taking a long drag. We just smiled at each other until John came over.

"Great crowd out yeah? Brian says the show sold out in just a few days."

"Alright lads get ready it's five till nine! Get your instruments ready!" Brian yelled.

"Put on a good show you two." I smiled and walked away. I could hear them follow as I made my way to a seat backstage.

"Maybe when we finish and get back to the hotel, ye can come back to our room and we can have a few drinks and some laughs?" George asked looking hopeful.

"Yeah, what d'you say love?" John asked eagerly. I shrugged.

"Maybe. We'll see." I said as Brian yelled for the guys to get on stage.

"Have fun you two." I stood up and grabbed my clipboard, kissing their cheek as I made my way past them.

....