Scared for the wellbeing of her daughter Pamella rushed to grab the house phone. She called the only person she could think of. The endless rings made her bite her nails anxiously. “Hello.” Finally, Krystal’s voice made her breath a bit easier.

“Krystal?” Pamella’s could hear the frantic fear in her own voice as she said the girl’s name. “This is Lonna’s mom.”

Jin became worried as he watched the color drain from Krystal’s face as she listened to the caller talk. “Don’t worry.” Krystal said. “We will find her.” After a short goodbye she hung up the phone.

“Who was it?” Jin asked as Krystal suddenly started to frantically search the slightly messy living room. The tension he could see in her body language worried him. “Krystal, what is going on?” He asked.

“Where is my coat? I thought I hung it by the door, but it isn’t there.” She said ignoring Jin’s questions as she continued to zoom around the room. “I put it right there, why isn’t it there?!” She screamed and started to throw the couch pillows around the room. Jin quickly moved to stop her, worried that in her state, she might hurt herself. Despite his unusually firm grip on her shoulders Krystal seemed to be fighting to get free. “I have to find my coat!” She screamed at him. “I have to go!”

“Why? Krystal calm down.” Jin said as he pulled her close to him and protectively wrapped his arms around her. To his shock, Krystal instantly broke down.

“Suga is going to Italy. Lonna’s mom broke the news to her and she ran off.” Krystal said through her sobs. Fear of his own swept over Jin. He tightened his hold on his crying girlfriend.

“We will find her.” He said, and without another thought to finding the missing coat, they both ran out the door, praying they would find Lonna soon.

Lonna ran until her legs felt like they were about to collapse. Finally, stopping she took in deep breaths to try and alleviate the pain in her chest. Her eyes became blurry as she looked hopelessly across the Hans River to the sun dropping over the horizon. It had become horribly apparent by her rapidly falling tears that the pain she had tried to run from, had caught up to her. The realization was too crushing to bear. She knew deep down that Suga might leave, but the painful part was the small hope her heart held in the promises he had made her.

The conversation they had shared on the farris wheel, ran through her mind. “I just wish the people I love would stay with me. That’d be enough.” Suga said.

Lonna smiled bright up at him. “Your wish for people you love to stay…does it include me?”

Suga locked as with her, as he let a smile of his own show. “Of course it does.”

Lonna cried harder as the feeling of betrayal took over. Hardly able to control her emotions anymore, her legs started to shake, making her quickly grab on to the railing of the stairs to try and keep herself standing. “Why does he never choose me?!” She cried out. She finally gave over to the despair she felt.

Suga drove his bike as slow as he could because the closer he got to home the more scared he became. He knew that Lonna wouldn’t take the news well, and more than likely she would try to mask her feelings from him. The thought hurt him, that she wouldn’t be honest with him, but also the thought of her breaking down and hating him was an even worse scenario. He turned his head and watched as the moon reflected over the shining surface of the river, but as he passed, a familiar person came into his view. Wondering why Lonna would be this far from home made him pull over.

Once he took his helmet off his chest tightened as he glanced over at her. Jisoo’s warning ran over his mind. She was right, Lonna had the right to question him, but he wondered what would happen if he answered. He bit his lip in nervousness “Lonna!” He called out to her.

Hearing Suga’s voice Lonna instantly looked in his direction. He could see the tears shine on her cheeks in the dim lighting of the near by light posts, and his heart sank. He froze as she started to run up to him. He couldn’t make a move toward her. He wanted to stand and have her run in his arms, but his guilt stopped him. To his surprise, she stopped just short of him. All either of them could do was stare at each other, waiting for the other to break the painful silence.

It was Lonna who spoke first. “I heard.” The realization of this happening now hit Suga like a truck. He was at a loss for words as he looked down and the ripped hole in his jeans.

He cleared his throat, trying to push away any emotions it might hold. “I was planning to go home and tell you properly.” He made eye contact with her again. “Because…I want your forgiveness before I go.”

“Really?” Lonna’s voice was laced with a mix of despair and anger and frankly it killed him to hear it. He bit his lip. “You’re really going?” Lonna asked.

Suga could a deep calming breath and shook his head. “I’ve decided…I want to start fresh and live with my mom. I’ll go to Italy with them.” He let out a small chuckle. “Actually, I might not be able to stand her, and come back disappointed…or actually hating her. But…I believe these things will only help us grow and create a new relationship for us.”

Lonna couldn’t help but break down, no matter how hard she tried to hold it in. “Will you come back?” She fought through her rough breaths to ask.

Suga couldn’t look at the betrayed look in Lonna’s eyes anymore, so he quickly turned his head. “I can’t promise you…it could be a year, or maybe two.” Suga’s answer only served to break Lonna further and he tried his best not to lose his mask as he heard it. He told himself that not looking at her was all he needed to do. “But…I don’t know how long.”

Lonna overcome with her emotions swiftly wrapped her arms around Suga and gripped his jacket with all her strength. “What do you mean you don’t know? During that time, what am I supposed to do?” Krystal and Jin had followed the sound of crying and stopped as they saw the scene in front of them. “Staying in the house without you, doesn’t seem happy anymore….” Lonna continued to cry and Suga was starting to lose his hold on his own emotions. “It will feel like a jail cell.”

Suga hung his head in sadness. “I’m sorry I am so selfish.” Hearing his words Lonna’s crying quieted. “I said I’d stay with you always.”

Lonna shook her head and cried again. “Don’t apologize!” To her it felt like a goodbye and that was more pain than she could handle.

Suga’s whole body started quake from the panic attack setting in. “But…I’m…” He spoke through labored breaths. Lonna gripped him tighter, trying to will him not to finish his sentence. “Betraying you.”

“No!” Lonna yelled.

Krystal had seen and heard enough. Without thinking, she ran over to Suga and smacked him right across his tense cheek. She expected him to yell, or try and hit her back, but instead he didn’t even move to rub his red cheek. Lonna as well became silent. “You suck!” She screamed at him. “You think a simple sorry can wipe away all the promises?!” Lonna had finally let Suga go and looked at her friend. “How can you be this selfish?!”

Suga refusing an answer caused Jin to snap. He reached over and grabbed Suga’s shoulder to turn him to face him. “You were the one who picked on Lonna, invaded her life. It’s you who forced her to love you. And you promised you would take her over any obstacle. You said you would never give up. Is anything I have said incorrect?”

“No.” Suga answered the older boy.

“Then why are you leaving her? He asked.

Suga surprised the two of them as he cracked a smile. “Just pretend Lonna met the devil.”

In a moment of anger, Jin grabbed the front of Suga’s shirt and forced him slightly up of his bike. “What does that mean?!” He yelled.

“Suga is right.” Lonna said making everyone look at her. “He is the devil. So, he shouldn’t feel responsible.”

“Lonna why are you acting like this?!” Krystal yelled at her now smiling friend.

Lonna let out a laugh and looked at the moon. “This is how it is. All this time, he’s always been the one controlling the two of us. All the decisions have always been made by him, I just followed. This time is no different. His decision. And I will happily go along with it too.” She looked over at Suga.

“Why are you talking like this?” Krystal asked in confusion. “Why aren’t you angry? Why aren’t you yelling?”

“Look what you have done to her.” Jin said angrily to Suga. “Feelings don’t have switches; how can you turn yours off at a whim?”

“So, I won’t tell you to wait for me.” Suga said to Lonna. She was feeling nothing but numb now.

“Min Yoongi!” Jin yelled.

Suga ignored Jin and turned his smile to the girl beside him. “I’m never going to ask you to wait for me, so, even without me, you need to become a woman who can face anything alone.” A single tear ran down Lonna’s cheek and she quickly wiped it away, giving Suga one of her brightest smiles. Suga grabbed his helmet and put it back on. He drove off leaving Lonna still smiling behind him.

As he got further away, the street started to blur as he finally let the tears fall. He felt guilt about making her believe he didn’t care, but maybe her hating him was what was best for her, after all she has been the only person he has ever cared about, and her feelings will always matter over his.