"Jesus Christ."

Irina looked up from the stack of papers she was signing at her desk when Thomas Shelby knocked twice on the door before walking into her office.

It had been four months since the two of them had last laid eyes on one another. Tommy had been busy doing whatever it was he did on a day to day basis, which Irina still wasn't 100% sure about other than selling average gin.

They hadn't spoken at all since a week after Joseph Levy's death when Tommy had called her to ask how she was doing. He hadn't wanted to call so soon, but he found himself wondering how she was coping with the aftermath of everything that had happened, even if she did have Alfie to take care of her.

Since then, there had been a silence in connection between the two of them. Once he heard through the phone that Irina was fine, he forced himself to take a giant step back. There was never really any reality that could spawn that would involve the two of them together, but there was a glimmer of naive hope that festered itself into the depths of his mind anyway.

"Do I look that bad, Mr Shelby?"

Tommy smirked at her remark as he sat down on the chair opposite her, taking a moment to admire the warmth of her skin and twinkle of happiness in the corner of her eyes as she looked up at him. Despite her quick tongue, he knew she was glad to see him, as he was her.

"It's hard to see you, actually, the sun reflecting off that giant rock on your finger nearly blinded me."

Irina scoffed, shaking her head. Alfie had taken her shopping for a ring the week after he proposed, letting her pick out whichever one she wanted. Trying to be humble at first, she lingered over a smaller diamond ring, though Alfie knew instantly that she was just trying to appear less materialistic. He asked the sales assistant for the most expensive diamond they had on a platinum band, and that was exactly what Irina left the shop wearing.

"I think you're supposed to say 'congratulations', Thomas."

He smiled at her, staying silent for a moment as he watched her slide a the pile of papers to the side.

"Congratulations, Irina. I'm very happy for you, for both of you."

She flashed him a genuine smile, one that wasn't tainted with sarcasm or anything deeper. It was laced with soulful, pure happiness that made her radiate the same angelic magnetism that he'd seen in her the night they slept together for the first time, only now, there was nothing he could do about it.

A group of men were heard laughing and talking far louder than they needed to beneath the window. Irina sighed, clearly tired of the vulgar language used while she was trying to get on with work.

She rose to her feet and walked over to the window to pull it closed, Tommy's eyes widening for a vulnerable moment when he saw the bump beneath the black dress she was sporting that day.

"You're pregnant?" He spoke without thinking, immediately regretting the way his words sounded as she turned to look at him before sitting back down.

"Yes," she breathed with a smile, cradling her stomach for a moment, "Did Alfie not tell you? I thought you two spoke often?"

Thomas swallowed the lump that had risen in his throat. He'd spent the last four months continuing on with his life in the only way he could, taking each day at a time to accept that he and Irina were only destined to be friends, and friends at most. He had made peace with his reality, though he hadn't prepared himself for how he'd feel when he saw her pregnant with a diamond ring on her finger, a vision he once toyed with that included himself, not another man.

Their romance may have been short-lived, but their bond would last a lifetime. Tommy was convinced that Irina felt a certain way about him that she'd also had to bury and mourn the same as he had, but it was clear that the strength of what she felt was nowhere near what he did.

"No," he shook his head, his voice quieter than it was when he first walked in the room, "No he didn't tell me. We haven't spoken too much in all honesty. Congratulations again, I suppose."

Irina heard the softness in his voice as she listened to him. She noticed the way his eyes were wider than usual and his hands were clasped together in his lap, his knuckles white at how hard he was gripping them.

It was no secret to her that Thomas had unwillingly developed feelings for her that were never going to be requited, and in her mind the two of them were both happy with the eternal friendship they'd been gifted instead, only it was clear to her in that moment that Thomas was struggling with the reality harder that she'd originally thought.

"Thank you," she said, sincerity in her eyes when she reached across the desk and took hold of his hands, "I will always be so thankful for you, Tommy, in every single way possible."

He nodded, not trusting his voice after he felt his heart skip a beat at the touch of her hand on top of his own.

He hadn't even planned to visit her that day, but he happened to be in Camden after doing some business near by and felt drawn to the office on his way back to the car, not being able to start the engine without going inside first.

"Are you happy, Irina? Does he make you happy?"

His expression was cold, no colder than usual, but Irina could tell that behind his eyes, a war was taking place between two versions of himself. He had let her go, and he knew that he had, but when he decided to walk into her office that afternoon, finding out she was pregnant was the last thing Thomas expected to be faced with.

"Yes," she said in barely a whisper, "He makes me happy, he loves me like I deserve to be loved and I wake up every day grateful for him. I can't imagine my life without him by my side, Tommy, he's shown me a side to living that I never thought I'd see. I hope you'll be at our wedding? It would mean a lot to me to have you there."

He smiled back at her weakly, feeling suddenly cold when she pulled her hands away from his, leaving them bare.

"Of course," he nodded, "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Good, it wouldn't feel right to not have you there."

Thomas agreed, but a part of him took her words to mean something that he was certain they didn't. She was being kind, he knew that, but a delusional force coerced him into thinking perhaps she meant something beyond the words' face value.

He didn't stay much longer, excusing himself to the long drive home after an excruciatingly short embrace in the warmth of the sun through the windows, feeling the coolness of her diamond ring on the back of his neck as she wrapped an arm around him.

Irina felt the atmosphere in the room shift once he closed the door behind him. She let out a heavy sigh as she sat back down, resting a hand on her bump. She didn't love Thomas Shelby and she never had done, but watching his face fall the small way it did she he saw her stomach had made her feel a way she had never expected to. He looked hurt for a tiny moment, pain drowned his eyes until he quickly snapped himself out of it, swallowing his pride and switching back to his usual brave face, despite whatever he might've been feeling inside.

She felt bad for inflicting that upon him, despite not being able to help it. Irina was in love with Alfie and that would never change, but she had a friendship stronger than anything else with Thomas that had built over the time he went out of his way to care for her and protect her, meaning that even though she would never, ever dream of being with him again the way she once was, causing him hurt still pained her.

"Tommy, is that you? I didn't know you were in London, why didn't you tell me?"

Thomas' head snapped up from the ground when he heard Alfie's voice calling him. They walked towards each other, Alfie with a smile on his face and his arms extended to his friend. Tommy wasn't much of a hugger, but he didn't have chance to decline by the time Alfie had him in his grasp, slapping his back.

"Last minute trip, how are things? I just saw Irina, congratulations on the engagement, and the baby."

Alfie narrowed his eyes at Tommy, pursing his lips for a moment before pointing a finger in his face.

"I know that look, what is it? She upset or something?"

"No, not at all," Tommy shook his head, "It's been a long day, you know how I don't sleep much as it is."

Kissing his teeth, Alfie looked his friend up and down. He wasn't an idiot, although some might've called him one, and he was also not naïve to the fact that many men would fall at the feet of his fiancée, Thomas Shelby included. Knowing that they'd once shared what could've been called a relationship made things a little more difficult for Alfie. He had no doubts about Irina and where her heart lied, understanding her every thought and feeling just by the way she looked into his eyes, though with Tommy, it was different.

He knew that there might've been some emotional residue left from their time together, and although Irina wasn't clinging onto the past, it was obvious that Tommy had a harder time watching her fall in love with someone else, even if he knew deep down that he and Irina would never have ended up together in this life.

"Look, mate," Alfie said, sighing loudly, "She's happy, alright? I'm happy, and me and you, yeah, we're still the same friends we've always been. I love you like a brother and although I might fucking hate you sometimes, you do mean a lot to me, and I know you do to her, as well."

Thomas swallowed hard, nodding as he looked down at the floor before meeting Alfie's gaze again. He wasn't intimidated by Alfie at the best of times, but in that particular moment, he did feel scared. It was understandable, he would've felt the same if the shoe was on the other foot and a man was clearly stuck on lost feelings for a fiancée that was carrying a child, but there was nothing he could do about it.

"I know, Alfie. Brothers in one moment and enemies in the next, isn't that right?" Tommy said with a forced laugh, though one that Alfie didn't quite see through.

"That's right," he said with a grin, "You'll come to the pub with me after this kid's born, won't you? Drinks on you that night, babies are fucking expensive, so I've been told. Listen I've got to go, she likes to have the bath run for her before she gets home."

Tommy smiled and pulled his car keys out of his pocket, "I won't keep you any longer, take care of her, Alfie. I know you will, but as a friend, I have to say it."

Alfie paused before walking away, inhaling deeply before holding out his hand to Tommy, "I get it, I'm glad she has you looking out for her. She's very lucky, we both are, to have you in our lives."

Tommy placed his hand inside Alfie's, shaking it with a tight grip and a solid hold of eye contact for a long moment, knowing that there was intention behind Alfie's stare, though Tommy didn't look long enough to work out what it was.

"I'll see you around, Alfie."

"Yeah you will, I don't have any friends so I'll need a best man at this wedding, you'll do that for me, won't you?"

Tommy stopped in his tracks and looked over his shoulder at Alfie, a huge grin on both of their faces. Alfie was a good man and his actions were showing that, making it that bit harder for Tommy to move on, but also harder for him to want to, at the same time. He was a friend at the end of the day, and as a friend, Thomas would've done anything for him.

"Of course, brother, of course."