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"One day, when I grow proud of the voices I don't question, I'll come back and tell you that I'm proud that I fell for you. And that I'm proud you didn't break me. But today, my fall still continues and the grounding is not insight."

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Yoonbi

It's tiring to grudgingly explain everything to my best friend, it's not the explaining that's the tiring part because I can in fact do all that without uttering a single word thanks to our telepathy, but it's the grudge part that remains heavy on my heart.

I didn't want to publicize Jungkook's past to anyone like that, but RyungNa isn't anyone. She is my best friend. I sigh, satisfied with my self-explanation, "hey Yoonbi! Sober up, your house is that way." RyungNa waves me out of my reverie.

"Oh right, what're you up to today?" I chat before we split off.

"I'm busy with some stuff." She replies, looking away and I notice how her lips tremble a little as she smiles. What is this about? I crock my head, noticing for the first time how I don't hear of RyungNa half of weekdays. But that changed since we started working at Jimin's.

I frown, "okay, so see you at the restaurant."

"See you." And she runs off, I watch her walk away and flip the thoughts in my head before throwing them all away. Everything is okay, a voice that sounds like mine convinces me and I randomly kick a rock on the street and continue walking.

◌◌◌

RyungNa didn't come to the job that day, I called her when she was late and she said her mom is sick. The next school day, she was really tired. What does she even do? I shake my head, she spends lots of time on the internet I guess.

Stop thinking too much, I'm okay. RyungNa tells me, noticing my frowning face and I look at her. She nods in assurance, then we share a smile. She won't hide anything from me, I believe she's alright.

For the rest of the week, RyungNa was acting fine, still busy but okay. Taehyung and I got to talk a bit, his fleeting smile fills my thoughts and I smile, fascinated by him and disappointed that we didn't talk much before.

He's really nice, and his hair is just beautiful. He's leaving it to get longer and his side profile is just too much to resist. I walk home after school and stop at a red light, the cars pass by and a realization hits me like a truck. Am I really fantasizing over Kim Taehyung?

No I'm not, I just like him. He's my friend. And I care about lots of people, he's just a pleasant addition that I need to keep safe. I'm not that much of a fickle. I reach home and mess around, chat with my mom, and finish up schoolwork before getting ready and taking off for my job.

I pull my most comfy snickers just before the bell rings, "I'll get the door." I take a bunch of chewing gum in my pocket before I go to silence the bell and let my dad in.

"Oh Yoonbi yah!" My dad beams although his fatigued state ruins it, I nod and chew a gum as I pull him into the house and take his suitcase. "You look awake, you didn't nap today?"

"Nah, I had much to do so I'll just sleep when I'm back." I accidentally let the suitcase fall too hard on the floor, gaining a tsk from him. "Sorry." I smile.

"JaeHee," my dad smiles as my mom gestures me to go and turns off the TV.

"Hyunsook," she greets back and I roll my eyes at them, fighting back a gag and stomping out of the door. Questions about the changed shift in Jimin's restaurant fill my walk, RyungNa's issues join and I'm left drowning in my thoughts. I want everything to stay settled, I don't want any drama. Why is everything happening to me?

I bite my lips and briefly shake my thoughts away, quite literally because two seconds later the only thing I'm thinking about is how worn out my snickers look. "Omonie!" I greet when I get in from the back door, a lot of customers are coming to have lunch here and the restaurant needs us around now.

I note down that Jin came to love it here as soon as I see his focused face in the kitchen, worldwide handsome. I tsk in pride.

"Hey!" Hands clamp my waist and shake me playfully before they fall as I turn around to see Taehyung.

"Oh!" I point my finger at him, "what are you doing here." I say, walking to the workers' room as we talk, he's wearing a super cuddly red sweater and loose black pants, his chocolate strands complement his look and I'm ready to swoon.

I hold it in, because I'm super.

"My mom kicked me out."

I laugh, "wow. That's awesome, so you'll work here?"

"It's not funny." He sadly looks away, "I didn't know where to go so I'm hanging around."

I shake my head, "no you're not," as soon as I'm in the room, I open the lockers and give him a uniform, "you're going to do something today, spiffing right?"

"Seriously?" He takes the uniform nonetheless and I shove him out of the room so I could change quickly, quickly being the keyword. "You're done?" Taehyung's eyes widen. I smirk and nod, liking his shock.

"You go on, come out and join me."

It's really fun, this day especially was just a lot of fun because of Taehyung. He's so funny and admirable to the point I almost didn't notice how late RyungNa joined. Almost didn't, but I did. Jimin noticed too, but by the wide smiles between them I know she said something that convinced him everything is normal.

For one, I didn't know if she's lying or not. The protection on her mind is so strong, I can't know if she's lying or not but I know who can. A small smirk takes over my face but a voice erupts in the depth of my mind.

She's your best friend, what are you doing? Now you'll spy on her, she doesn't want you to know. Trust her.

I realize and shake my head. Through my haze, I almost hit the wall as I walk till Taehyung's arms snake around my waist and pull me back into him. My eyes widen a fraction at the contact till he leans down and whispers huskily in my ear, "boo."

And he backs away, laughing his feet off. Great right? "Oh well, this is you and I'll keep you that way." I laugh knowing he didn't mean for his voice to come out this way, but it did. And I'm not alright.

"You didn't see yourself, you almost ran into a wall, a wall that's there the whole time!" He follows me, laughing. "Who even hits a wall--"

"Get over it." I put the tray down a little too hard, making Jin snap his head towards me in disapproval.

"Wow, wow kitten," Taehyung just called me that, "I saved you though, mainly because I knew you'd break those." He points at the plates on the tray and smiles proudly. Is that why they call him the worst good boy? He looks and acts like a bad boy right now, but in a sweet way.

He could make me cry... in a cool way. Did I just say that? In a cool way?

"Thank you oppa." I smile toothlessly and leave him behind, making it obvious that I'm mocking him.

"Yah!" He follows and I'm thankful he's here today, RyungNa and Jimin are so inseparable I feel left behind, or worse- third-wheeling, but since he's here the feeling is fleeting. "Did you just..?"

"Oppa? Our shift is almost over, let's clean up quickly." I continue teasing him but my act breaks when he blushes hard. "Did you just..?"

"Let's clean up!"

"Okay oppa!" I laugh, He turns away from me before he could hear me, but I know he did because his neck turned crimson.

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By the walk back home, Taehyung and I were pretty closer than we ever were. "I said you can go, my house isn't far from here," I repeat, done with him following me like a lost puppy.

"Your oppa wants to walk you home, Yoonbi. Shut up and don't tell me to go anymore, it hurts my pride." He joins my step as I roll my eyes and hide my laugher, "you can laugh, my ego will take it."

And I laugh so hard I almost fall on the street, "why am I even laughing so hard!" I laugh harder, feeling his arm around my shoulder, holding me up and keeping me walking.

By the time we are home, I take out my phone to check if my parents are awake instead of ringing the bell and waking them up. I can always psych my way through anyway. The screen stays dark, I press my lock button and my eyes widen at the realization. "Shít, when did it even die?" I mutter.

"What is it?"

"Nothing," I tell Taehyung as I stop feet away from my house, "this is my place." I point, putting my phone back and walking with him to my porch, "my phone died and I didn't notice, parents may scold me--"

"Oh, Jungkook!" Taehyung cuts me off as he looks at the staircase in front of my house, waving. I turn to see a Jungkook sitting on my doorstep, he stands up when he sees us and I see his shirt wrinkled.

For how long was he here? Why?

He looks at Taehyung, then at the arm over my shoulder a little longer, and finally, his eyes linger on me. I frown at his stone-cold face and turn to Taehyung, "thank you, Taehyung." I smile, stepping away as he draws his arm to himself.

"No more oppa?" He pouts, leaning lower so he levels with my face and looks at it. I shake my head, smiling despite the Jungkook stare burning holes in my cheek.

"Thank you oppa." I stick my tongue out and walk to my door, where Jungkook stands.

"You okay Jungkook?" Taehyung talks behind me, Jungkook turns to me then to his friend and nods, "good night then maknae, kind of want to avoid getting scolded. See you two." Taehyung rushes off.

Wow, such a traitor.

"Hi, Kookie."

"Low, Yoonbi." He snaps and my mouth falls ajar, "yeah I just said that, how dare you!"

"Dare I what! What was that even!" We are hissing, Jungkook seems to understand that I don't want to wake my parents up. I psyched my way through at last.

"Thank you oppa." He imitates me, and it takes me a lot not to laugh at his faked high pitch, "you call one of my best friends oppa before you call me that." He grumpily turns away, the scenario is too funny since he imitated me and I can't take him seriously at all.

But I'm a good girlfriend so I don't laugh, at least I try not to. "Nice PJs," I smile at his striped red and white shirt that's making him look quite puff, "and you're not going to be oppa, get over it." Smirking, I step closer to him, standing on a step higher so we are the same height. "You're forever my Kookie."

I'm way too far gone to notice that my hand reached his neck, my finger hooks his collar and I pull him closer, "why weren't you replying to my texts and calls? Did you block my number?"

"You're absurd." I say, surprised he would think that, I watch the cute vibe his hair is giving him as it hides his eyebrows while I continue, "my phone died."

He looks away from me, biting the inside of his cheek as his jaw clinches. "The sight of Taehyung walking you home was horrible."

I frown, "we don't look that bad together." I fake considering it but stop as soon as I get to see his priceless face. "Kidding." I swat his shoulder with my other hand but then his muscles contract and my mouth forms an o as I make a curious face and let my hand go back to his shoulder.

I feel him again with my hands, this time purposely, "oh." I tease with a creepy smile, feeling more of his biceps, "impressive." I see his tension breaking, I'm succeeding. Hah.

"Stop that." He says softly, looking away from my face to hide his defeat, "I'm still mad at you."

"Are you?" My hands never leave him, but I feed the desire of touching his hair as my hand glides against his neck. My other hand goes over his chest, slowly.

"I am-m." His voice breaks. I lean forward so my body is resting against his, letting both of my hands play with the hair at the back of his head.

"You don't sound mad," I whisper in his ear and brush my lips against it, feeling him stiffen. "You sound... Lost if anything."

"Lost?" His hand holds my waist defensively, "I'm not lost."

"You're not, are you." I rest my face against his neck, "but I'm lost." I plant a kiss on his skin, "I'm lost in you, Kookie." Pulling his head closer, I nuzzle his neck.

I don't get to cringe at my cheesiness because Jungkook pulls my face out of the warm nape of his neck and holds my body closer to his, he looks into my eyes and holds back his unspoken words to kiss me.

I won again.

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Thoughts of everyone I knew in Seoul flood my head, SoMin's eager smile seals the one on my face as I pull the covers over me and stare at the dim ceiling.

Jungkook is such a sweetheart, I don't know why I didn't invite him up to my room. It wasn't because it's late like I told him, and not because of my parents either, I think it's because I knew I'd lose myself totally, I wouldn't resist him.

I gained a lot from moving here, I don't want to lose any of it. A flashing image of Taehyung's long chocolate strands and sculptured face fills my vision, being the last thing embedded in my head before I fall into sleep.

.

.

It's a deserted street, so peaceful. The light poles look expensive and the houses are nice, everything looks a tad bit fancy. A figure turns into the street, walking drunk. His hoodie shields any possible identification but when he suddenly stops and turns around my breath hitches.

He doesn't see me, he looks up and the hoodie comes off, revealing chocolate strands of soft hair. He's absolutely beautiful, but sad. Oh so sad. He shouts out, remorseful but no one hears. He's done with all this, even a half-drunk state isn't rubbing his pain off.

It's a matter of time that he gets back on his walk, his hoodie back over his head. He stops in front of a nice house and pushes the opened gates, he walks and my feet take me after him. Despite the beautiful appearance of the house, it's giving off hideous ominous vibes.

He walks in and faint sounds of beating and groaning, screaming even come from the room at the end of the corridor. My heart picks up but the boy in front of me freezes in place, his demeanor shakes more and he loses the ability to walk in a straight line.

He reaches the room from where the commotion sounded nonetheless and with shuddering hands, he pushes the door open. He unfolds a scene so depressing and rotten, I know from the sudden movements he does that he lost it.

Seeing the drunk man beating up the vulnerable brunette makes the chocolate boy just rid himself of all sanity, "Taehyung ah! Just leave baby, I'll be okay." She tells her son just before she receives a slap on her face from that darn man.

Taehyung holds his head and groans out in disapproval, angry disapproval. Strong hatred and a pile of emotions blind him, he takes one of the empty sugo bottles breaking it in half and marches to the man, pushing him away from his mother. "Taehyung! Back off, don't do this, he's your stepfather!" His mom shouts in agony but it's too late, Taehyung can't hear anything.

Taehyung shoves the broken glass into his abusive father's abdomen, "you filthy bastard!" Blood splashes out, the man coughs blood out of his mouth after the curses and onto Taehyung's clothes before falling.

And everything falls with him.

-

I wake up.

// I don't know what's happening, You can say that and it'd be true! HAH, gotcha
I'm sorry, you'll understand a little next chapter don't worry.

I'm enjoying this, are you?

I had a great day btw, I kinda forgot how healing nature can be. I hope we all remind ourselves from time to time💜💜

With wishes for clearer goals and more intentionally spent time, Kaye 💜💜