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"People isolate themselves and call their shields walls because they think that's all emotional shelter. They stay unharmed alright, but they suffocate. They set themselves free for seconds then do it again. Can't we just learn?"
Inspired by Jonghyun.

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Yoonbi

I'm late and I feel so heavy.
The walls I built inside are too thick. I check the time and first class started five minutes ago. I walk carelessly, losing the sole energy to run to class. I can't even feel my legs. I feel like I'll collapse any second.

I stare absentmindedly at my shoes, they almost ripped from the amount of running I did in such a high speed.

Finally, I reach class. I knock twice. Then I open the door, my face straightens, pushing the heaviness I feel away.

There you are Yoonbi! Why were you late? I feel RyungNa's eyes on me as she asks. I don't give her a glance and ignore the smilie Jimin as well. Suga's calm face eyeing me as I walk to my seat doesn't faze me either.

But it was him. Jungkook. It's like he saw right through me, the way he looked at me. As if he feels it all. As if he can see it all. But even if maybe, maybe he understands what's happening to me, it's too late.

I built a wall with great power that it'd never fall, to separate me from my pain and keep the memories away. I carelessly let go of my bag beside my desk on the floor, not hanging it neatly as usual. Sitting down, the back of my neck touches my wet collar. Looks like my wet hair wetted my clothes, what a useless bun. I sigh and pull a notebook out to shut the teacher who's staring at me grudgingly. I'm not going to apologize because I'm late today, forget it woman.

She sighs heavily and turns to the board again, "So, can anyone repeat what biotechnology is?" I sigh too and look away, staring at my blank paper like it held something so intriguing. I hear Namjoon answering, times like these I would question myself if anyone in this class actually studies other than Namjoon.

Gradually, I drop my body on the table, my arms forming a pillow as I lay my head on them, face down. I feel... Cold. So cold. I shiver before going to sleep.

"....I think she's tired or something, or maybe she's in a bad mood." A boy says.

"No, I'm telling you she totally ignored me this morning BamBam." A girl argues.

"Wait wait, she came late and slept for all the classes. When did you talk to her?" I recognize Jimin's voice. His mates hum and talk in anticipation.

"Um, uh... Sh-she..." RyungNa couldn't get an excuse quickly, and despite my heavy demeanor I chose to help her out. Just because it's getting too noisy and I want to be alone.

Yeah, just because of that.

I sit up so suddenly that the group of people crowding around me in the empty class gasp, "are you okay?" Jackson touches my shoulder.

"Are you alright Yoonbi?" RyungNa comes next, taking my cold hand in hers, "oh my god, your hands are so-" I snatch my hand away and stand up, curtly letting Jackson's hand lose contact with my body.

"What's wrong Yoonbi?" Jimin asks next, on behalf of his six friends. Suga looks at me, trying to figure something out. But too bad, he can't this time. Jungkook is standing behind as well, all were watching closely. They never did anything to me. All of them, I can't be rude to them for absolutely nothing. And I can't lie either. Suga will know that something is wrong.

I heave a sigh, "I'm a little tired, I want to stay alone." I tell them all. No lies. I just said a tiny fraction of the truth. Just like that, I push RyungNa lightly out of my way and avoid the eyes of my group and Bangtan that followed me till I'm out of the door.

I walk aimlessly, my feet take me up a couple of staircases till I find myself on the rooftop. There was wind, lots of it. The cold pulled my attention away from my pain and busying me with the feeling of thin needles pocking my skin.

The tiny hairs at my spine stand and I feel goosebumps all over my body. I walk to the fence and stand on it's narrow structure.

One step, one fall, and it will all end.
I won't have to deal with anything at all. I laughed at myself, at my stupidness. I see the solution right in front of my eyes yet I can't take action.

I knew I would never be able to just jump right now, albeit no one can stop me. I can't, for my parents, for my family. I don't think I would ever choose to leave my parents, I don't think I'd ever take such cowardly path even-

A blast of wind hits me and I lose the ability to stand still, a shiver from the cold pushes my body forward and my shoes moves on the dusty surface.

Before I know it, I'm falling frontwards.

No. No. No. Shït! No!

I can't do anything! I can't stop, this can't happen!

Before I fall off my jacket is pulled backwards, changing the direction of my fall. My heart beats so fast and it feels like it's dislocated. I feel my throbbing head as I fall back.

At first it was all slow, but just as the rescuer pulls me backwards it all happens so fast that I don't notice any of it.

I wince and groan in pain when I fall to the hard ground of the rooftop, my elbow feels broken and I don't feel both my knees. The rest of my body was resting on something softer compared to the ground.

It radiates warmth from under the cloth it clad. And I feel heartbeats as strong as mine under my face. That's when I realize, it's someone.

Someone saved me, I move my face to look at my savior but he pushes me up before I can move. "Ah!" I scream when he moves just as he groans.

"Jungkook?" I ask, disbelieving. He looks at me, letting the hand that was massaging his back and neck to fall to his sides. His eyes look at me intensely, remorsefully as if blaming me, offending me for a shameful act.

"No, no..." I whisper to myself. He thinks I wanted to attempt suicide. No no! This is not me!

"Why? You... You," he breathes combing his short hair furiously. He sits up as his hand rest on the ground, propping his body. One of his knees were up, supporting the arm that hid his face while the other leg lays limply on the ground.

Less than a feet away from him, I sit both my hands supporting my body off the ground. My face tightens as I foresee his accusation.

His hand presses his face and his features crumble, his body moves as his shoulder rise and fall. Heavy breathes come out of his nose and mouth erratically.

"Are you crying?" I ask, dumbfound.

"Why, why would you..." He stops, taking a deep breath. His manly composure builds up again and he turns away from me.

"Wait, it's not what you think it is-" I start but he cuts me off.

"What if you fell? What if I wasn't here Yoonbi? If me seeing you do whatever you did weeks ago was bothering you so much, I agreed with your request. Does it look I'd tell on something I don't even believe! What's wrong with you! Do you think this would make everything better?"

"You don't understand-"

"I understand really well, I understand this situation more than anyone. I get it. I felt it." He whispers the last part but I hear it.

"What?" I mutter, I move wanting to see his face, "what do you mean you felt it." I mutter not really questioning him. Jungkook tried to- no this is impossible. Jeon Jungkook tried to kill himself before? Why?

He's, he's an angel. He's handsome, somehow smart and I bet he's even talented. He loves many people even.

Why? What would make him lose hope. I move one more time but my elbow buckles and I fall with my knees to the ground. "Ugh!" I groan in agony. He quickly turns to me and holds me up, resting my upper body on his thighs.

"Are you okay?" I stare up at him as he asks.

"Somehow, but you're not." I tell him picking my arm up to his face, my finger move to the side of his eyes just beside his eyebrows and I touch the ripped skin.

My fingers turn bloody and I show him, "it's nothing, come on." He picks me up in his arms and we leave the rooftop. I feel his uneven walk.

"Let me down, you're injured too Jungkook." I call his name, when I do that he looks down at me and stops for a second, looking at me intensely with his eyes. Those eyes that hold so much.

I want to know I really want to.
But can I really? Can I just betray his trust, that unspoken trust I feel towards him, and turn down my savior? I can't. I never will.

"Don't ever think like that again Yoonbi." he calls my name. It sounds so good and special, he still believes I wanted to jump from there.

"I told you you don't understand. I was enjoying the breeze when I lost my balance. Good job you came on time." I smile cheekily and pat his shoulder. He still doesn't believe me, "come on! Do you think if I really wanted to end my life I would be like Good job you came on time. Well, no." I answer my question.

He looks away, pursing his lips, "say what you want to say Yoonbi. I'll just have to watch over you."

The idea made my stomach flutter for no exact reason. "Let's see who wins." I tell him as he continues walking to the clinic.

When we're there, Jungkook puts me on a vacant bed and looks around. I do the same, both of us looking for the nurse. "She's not here." I conclude, "just clean your wounds and go back-" a sneeze cuts me off. I sneeze again, and again. Three times.

Damn, cold! Wet hair, wind. Shît. I'm going to get sick! "Go go, go back to class and I'll stay here for this class."

I'll faint soon, the headache is getting heavier and I feel my burning skin. Oh no. He needs to leave right now. Sick mutants aren't something pleasant.

"What?" He looks at me like I'm some mental kid. This is a big problem, oh boy. I hate people seeing me sick. I shouldn't have took my potion this morning!

Mutants waste almost half of their energy to take care of their sick bodies when needed, because of my potion, I already lost half of it. What I did this morning wasn't of any help either.

Just as I convince myself that I need no one, this happens. What life is this.

//I need a favor, can you guys share this book to someone who may like it? Thank you? Hehe.
I've been having a lot of exams and I'm amidst midterms atm, I hope you understand the reason behind my untimely updates.
I love you all💕
Kaye💕💕✨