~My heart isn't easy to give~

"What is wrong with you, Y/N? You are acting weird. Every time I see you heading towards Jungkook's cell, you have a creepy smile on your face. And you are checking your watch all day like you can't wait to see him. Don't tell me that you began to have feelings for him. Are you crazy?" Naeun threw a disapproving look my way, her arms folded against her chest.

W

hat the? And her problem is...?

"It's not like that. I just feel sorry for him." I raised a suspicious eyebrow.
What was her problem? Since when does she care about my doings? We weren't that close for her to have the guts to question my doings, and expect to put my whole life and feelings on a plate in front of her. I wasn't doing it with my own family, and most definitely not with a stranger.

I am that type who prefers to keep everything to herself.

"Are you sure about that? I saw the way you were stroking his cheek. Please Y/N. He is someone with huge issues. He will never return your feelings. If he would be able to do something in his situation, then the highest possibility will be to kill you."

What the? Don't tell me that she was spying on me.

"Look at him. Do you see any threat here? Cause I sure don't. Not in his condition at least."

"How do you know that? "

"And how do you know that he is dangerous? How can you be so sure? Have you actually seen him doing something? "
I narrowed my eyes, carefully watching her, trying to somehow figure out what her problem was and why she was trying so hard to convince me on how dangerous Jungkook was.

The first and last time we went to his cell, she didn't seem that scared of him. On the contrary. She even caressed his head lovingly.
I was there. Did she forget that? Or did she think I was stupid?

The person to make me look like a total idiot was not born yet. I had to deal with too much shit to still believe in flying pigs. I smirked as I watched her searching for the right words to my question.

"Since when do you know Jungkook so well? " I asked as I was playing with a strand of my hair, twirling it around my finger.
Her eyes widened. And I enjoyed seeing her all flustered. It's something there.
She tries to scare me to stay away.

I saw her cheek flush. Ah, she is in love.
I felt a pang in my heart. Why can't I be like this? Free and full of beautiful feelings.

"W- What's with the question? "

"Well, I wanted to know. I like to know more about the ones I am working with. Why? Is it a secret? Is it something you can't share?" I innocently smiled at her and I saw the effect my smile had on her. She quickly let her guard down.
I didn't like this girl. I don't know why. She seemed like a shy good girl. Easy to be fooled as well. But I felt that something was wrong. She was somehow weird, and she was hiding something. Apart from the fact that she liked Jungkook. Well, it was obvious, so of course, I had that figured out.

So, she told me that she started to work in this place two years ago. She had a little brother, her father died when she was a child and now she was living in a small apartment with her little brother and her mother whom she loves so much. Her mother was ill, so she was not able to work, instead, Naeun had to work
and pay the bills, as well as take care of her mother and her brother who will soon graduate high school.
I couldn't help but pity her. It must be hard to have so many responsibilities hanging on your shoulders at such a young age, and I admired her for it. My shoulders dropped. I couldn't hate her. Damn it.

"If I would like Jungkook, would that be a problem for you? " I asked her, my blunt question made her eyes widen, her lips parting in shock.
"Kidding," I quickly added seeing her not moving a muscle. She was even struggling to hold in her tears that were swimming now inside her eyes. Definitely, I couldn't hate her.
She was just like a little kid. An open book. It was so easy to read her, her feelings were all around the place. She was scared of me. Scared that I will take him away from her.

"It was a joke." I laughed evilly. "I don't see Jungkook in that way. To actually want someone, first, he would have to gain my trust and my heart. But it's a long way till then. I am not easy. " I winked at her as I bit my lip piercing. And she sighed in relief.

Why so weak? I could squish you so easily. Don't give me a reason to.

Indeed, I envied her. She had no problem with showing who she really is. What she really feels.
And here I am... A block of ice.

"Y/N, do you think I am not aware of what you are doing? " Taehyung was suddenly walking beside me as I was heading towards the restroom.

"I don't know what you are talking about." I rolled my eyes bored. This jerk was on my blacklist.
In heat? Even now I couldn't believe he actually used those words the first day we've met.

"Are you mad at me? If I apologize, will you give me a chance? " Taehyung grabbed my hand before reaching the door.

"Can you let go? I need to pee and maybe shit?"

He quickly released my arm as soon as those words left my mouth. I internally laughed. It works every time.
I turned around and pushed the door open.

"I will not leave you alone with that freak, no matter how much you want to. Do you hear me? "
I heard Taehyung say before the restroom door closed in his face.

We will see about that.
I didn't like the way he was talking about Jungkook. With so much hate. As if Jungkook was below him and he was almighty. I despise those who look down on others no matter the reason.

_

The next day... I was late.
My alarm didn't ring. I was 40 minutes late and I felt my palms sweating from nervousness.
This couldn't happen to me. Oh my god, what if something happened to Jungkook? I had to be there at 5 in the morning. And it was already 6.

And what I feared the most, happened.

As I was running towards Jungkook's cell, I heard him yelling.

"Stop. Please stop. I beg you!"

It was the first time I actually heard his voice. It was the first time my heart was racing this fast. Something in me felt weird the moment I unlocked his cell and saw him in that horrible state.
He was having a nightmare.
He was shaking, screaming, and crying in his sleep. And without a second thought, I ran towards him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Jungkook? Wake up. It isn't real. It's only a nightmare."

Then it happened.
He turned around and took me in his arms. Burying his face in the crook of my neck, his body trembled violently against mine.

"Make it go away. Make him stop."

He was crying. My chest tightened at the feeling of his tears on my skin.

"Please, lady. Make him stop." He whispered, his strong arms tightening around my waist as he pulled me closer, his shirt soaking wet with sweat as I placed my palms against his chest. Somehow feeling the need to put some distance between us.

Wait. Lady? Since when was I a lady?

Then, taking me by surprise, he grabbed the injection I was holding.
And for a second, our eyes locked in the dim light, his dark eyes bored into mine. At that moment, the only thing I could hear was his hard breathing and the ringing of my heart.

I swallowed, my stomach clenching under his scrutiny.
His eyes held mine as he said:
"I don't want to wake up. It hurts. Make sure that I will never wake up."