~Pain~

Your pov

"Thank you so much dear for being such a sweetheart." The old lady smiled at me as soon as I placed the breakfast tray on her lap.
"It must be really tiring having to deal with an old hag like me." She chuckled in embarrassment.

"No, of course not. I should be the one grateful for this chance you've given me. I was a stranger but you and your grandson were so kind to me. Even accepting me under your roof. And besides, it's my pleasure. I enjoy my time with you. I am learning something new each day. It's like I am watching a documentary." I giggled.
The old lady smiled warmly and I couldn't help but smile back. She was really a warm and kind person. And with such high intelligence.

Two weeks ago I saw an announcement in a newspaper about needing someone to take care of an old lady and without any hesitation, I called them up. It was a plus for me because of my studies.

Even her grandson was careful with me, making sure I would feel at ease around them.
He was visiting her twice a week. He was the only relative the old lady had. His parents died in a car accident a year ago, so she was in his care from then.
And I could see how much he loved her. It must have been really hard for such a young boy to suddenly wake up with so many responsibilities hanging on his shoulders.

"So tell me again about that boy you love so much. " She said with her mouth full after taking a big bite of her fried, crispy egg.
My smile became wider.
"Did I tell you how he struggled to make me breakfast two days ago? He wanted to surprise me. It was the most beautiful present I ever had and was also the most delicious breakfast I had ever eaten.

"You didn't have to bring me home. I would have managed on my own." I said as soon as Jinyoung stopped his car right in front of the building I lived.

"At least this is the only thing I can do for you." Jinyoung smiled troubledly.

"Thank you for everything you are doing for my grandma. She really likes you and she is so happy every time you visit her.
I know that I should give you more money for all your hard work. As soon as I will be advanced, I promise that I will..."

"Can you stop? This was our agreement from the beginning. If I wouldn't be satisfied, then I wouldn't have accepted in the first place. So everything is perfect the way it is. I know how hard it must be for you as well. So please focus on your studies and your job, and I will take care of your grandmother."

"Thank you." Jinyoung bit his lip troubled, tears sparkling in the corner of his eyes.

"Thank you for being so kind."

Jungkook POV

I smiled as I saw you getting out of a car. I waited for you all day and now you were finally home.

With each day that passed, I started to feel lonely.
Since this morning I couldn't think of anything else but our short kiss on the beach. After I kissed you, we stayed in each other's arms for a long time in complete silence. It didn't matter that it was raining.
The kiss fired up my brain and sent shock waves throughout my body. It was such a powerful feeling, but also I couldn't understand why I let myself be so vulnerable in front of you. What was I doing?

I missed you. I yearned to hug you and cuddle you all night long. What the heck was happening to me?
But my smile vanished as soon as I saw you accompanied by a guy. You were talking. You... were laughing. And then he took your hand in his.

I felt my throat constrict. My limbs turned cold and I suddenly felt dizzy. I had to press my palm against the window for support, and grab my chest which suddenly felt weird. I felt how the air wasn't enough anymore. It hurt. And not only that. Fear was raising alarming within me.

He will take her away from me.

She lied. Her feelings were a lie.

I grabbed my head in pain. I was on the verge of having another panic attack and I felt like I was starting to lose my mind.
Anger suddenly overwhelmed me.
I wanted to kill him.
I needed to stop the pain which was eating me completely. And he was the cause of it.
I couldn't stop looking at them.

He is normal.

He is what I will never be.

I hate him.

And I couldn't stop myself. I rushed towards the kitchen and grabbed a knife.

I didn't need these feelings. I hated them. I wanted to get rid of everything. How stupid of me. How could I trust you? Didn't my life teach me anything until now?

Wake up, you moron. Stop dreaming. There's nothing here left for you. There never was. Only emptiness and darkness.

I don't need this as well. What I have is enough already. I can't carry more.

Your pov

I opened the door with my heart beating like crazy.
I was happy. Damn it. I was so happy. After what happened last night between the two of us, I couldn't wait to come back home and see him.
This morning before going to work, he was sleeping, so we couldn't talk.
And I already missed him so bad.
I just wanted to jump in his arms. To kiss every inch of his cute face and hold him in my arms.

But when I opened the door and saw him sitting on the couch, his eyes cold the moment our eyes locked, anxiety made my stomach clench tight. His eyes held mine disparagingly as he rose fluidly from the couch.

"So... How are you Y/n? " Jungkook asked disgustingly as his body moved with easy grace toward where I was standing frozen in the door.

I took an abrupt step back noticing his strange behavior, but he was fast as he grabbed me by my shoulders pinning me against the wall.
"Jungkook? Why are you acting this way? What's wrong? "

"What you're planning? Is this all a game to you? Is it amusing?" Jungkook asked in a harsh, raw voice.
He glared at me with burning, reproachful eyes, his fingers gripping my shoulders tightly.

"What? Jungkook you are scaring me. Please calm down..."

"Calm down?" He snapped angrily. "After what I just saw? How could I calm down? You made fun of me. You are a bitch and a fucking liar! "

Then he raised his hand and slapped me hard across my face.
"I will fucking kill you. And not only. I will kill your whole family as well."

His words, the way he was looking at me with so much hate, with such coldness, pierced me like daggers. It hurt more than being slapped.
It couldn't be helped, I felt how my tears made their way out onto my cheeks.
I couldn't understand why he was acting like this. I couldn't understand his feelings anymore. But was there a moment when I did?
Maybe I made a mistake. Maybe I did something wrong.
Maybe he hates me.

My body trembled when he grabbed the sides of my head, painfully. I felt so weak. I couldn't stand on my own feet. He was the one who was forcing me to stand.
His behavior hurt so much. And the stupid me started to cry as I covered his hands with mine.
"Did I do something wrong? I am sorry." I was so weak. He, in such a short time, became my everything.

"Don't you fucking cry now. Don't you dare cry."

Jungkook pulled the knife out and hit the wall with it, an inch away from your body. Then he hit the wall again and again until you almost passed out in fear.

After he threw all his anger towards the wall, jungkook took a step back just to see you collapsing on the floor.
At the sight of your weak form, your bottom lip bleeding, your tears on your cheek, the knife he was holding now slipped from his hand and clattered to the floor. His hands were trembling realizing what he had done to you.
It didn't matter if you had done something, what he did wasn't right. He was aware of that.

Looking down at his trembling hands, then again at you, Jungkook bit his lip painfully, feeling once again the whole world crashing down over him.
Taking another step back he was ready to run away from there. From you. He felt lost again.
One tear. Another tear. He couldn't stop them anymore. He was crying.
He felt his chest being ripped apart.
He was tired.
He needed to stop thinking.
He had to stop thinking.

I am sorry. I am so sorry.

"Don't run away. I am alright. I am not sad. I am not hurt. Please." You whispered the moment you saw him take another step further from you.
You still couldn't stand. Your body was still shaking as you raised your hand towards him.
"Don't cry. Just tell me what happened and we will find a solution together." You smiled warmly. And it took all of your power to do just that.

Jungkook's eyes softened before kneeling beside you and holding you in his arms.
"Please make it stop. I can't do this anymore.
Please help me."