KAISER

Eight Christmas in a roll had always been like a colorful funeral service held in my family's living room.

The first one without her, I had stayed locked up in my room and refused to unwrap tens of boxes filled with gifts; my parents had granted me.

The second, I snuck out of home and spent it with a homeless man shivering in the cold, watching the quiet street.

The third, I got drunk and passed out in a bar. The following day I found myself lying on a hospital bed and my parents arguing with officers over child harm and all those things.
For a second, It got me assuming getting thrown out of that empty home to foster care.

What I am trying to say is every year has its issues, and this one is having dad and mom and Riley and Reagan (the traitor) all seated in the living room expecting me to act okay with it.

But I am not! How is therapy on holiday a regular thing? Who the fuck does that?

My parents were always unpredictable.

"Where's Mr. Rambo cunt!" I broke the silence and asked the woman who had been working for my parents undercover.

Reagan jolts in surprise and shifts uncomfortable in the seat while mom and dad sternly warn in unison: "Kaiser!"

"Oh, come on, didn't I say I can use any word I please? Isn't it a free world?" I smirk at them.

I will give a summary of how I ended up here, even though it's pretty obvious.
After Daisy walked out on me, I wanted to follow her, I've considered all the possible things (including kidnapping her), but all meant hurting her.
Sometimes we also need space, even from those we love.
Reagan had once said. But I don't believe that.
I believe there's not enough time I can collect in this realm that could convince me of sufficient time with who I truly love.

"I am sorry, KC, if I hurt you." Reagan sadly apologizes from the far distance majestic couch she was sitting with her legs crossed.

I observed her carefully until I saw that part in her that really was unease about this whole idea. I mean, who wants to work on Christmas?

"Whatever, I don't care." I exhaled and sat back, struggling with all my willpower to not yank my hand from Riley's.

She was seated next to me. She was the inventor of this whole non-sense. She forced me here even when she knew I didn't want to come to Sacramento. I didn't want to see my parents.

She thought things would be okay between us if they were involved. How can she believe that after knowing me for so long now?

"You care; that's the challenging problem. You've always cared, but you try to appear fine at every disappointment and pain. You had been through emotional and physical neglect, which causes the attachment disorder right now. It would help if you had someone, anyone to be there, but they all ghosted, isn't it?" Reagan accused.

Well, more like acknowledged, since she had finally cracked and figured what she's shouldn't.

The worst thing is, she did that right before those who shouldn't know all of it.

I laugh! A startled laugh.

Then bolt upright, finally freeing myself from Riley.

"I will go to bed." I simply announced in daylight.

"KC. We just wake up from a nap." Riley confusedly reminded me of something I am fucking aware of.

"Good night." I ignored and took off.

All I am trying to do is suppress my sullen resentful attitude, but no one is complying to support me here.

Sleeping on my anger helps cool my temper. Not that it was what I tend to do right now! But I should make it clear.

I amble through the grand space of the luxuriously decorated house that was occupied with different faces of housekeepers and maids until I set myself in the safety and quiet of my extraordinary spacious bedroom; I bring out my phone from my jacket and scroll through contacts.

I tap on Daisy.

Calling!

Beep!

Please pick up...

'Hello? Haha, got you. If you're calling, that means you know the typical Daisy. Could you leave a message? I will call back when I get it.'

"Hey! Daisy, this is probably the twelfth voicemail. Please call back. You can't stay away from me forever. I thought we had talked this through? I said I love you... Look! I can manage to have you ending what has just begun between us, but don't end our friendship. Please, I-I need you now, and you need me too! Okay... I will go... Just Uhm... Call back, please."

She wouldn't, though!

I've left messages, hoping she will fight for us, but it appears I am the only one selfish of our friendship.

She just gave up and walked away.

Fear quickly overwhelms me while standing in the middle of the room. I couldn't help typing.

'At least let's talk.' Sent.

Ten seconds... Twenty... One minute.

I desperately typed again.

'You can't just ghost me like this, don't do this to me, not again.'

'I've been home, but nothing feels right. You have to listen to me. You can't just press stop when I am all in. We have to work this out.'

Thirty seconds... One minute.

I blow out a frustrating breath, push my fingers through my hair, and practically hit my phone screen while typing.

'Stop ignoring me and say something!'

Why does she feel the need always to hurt me?
Why does it seem like I am the only one fighting for us?

'Why the hell are you doing this? Why do you enjoy messing with my emotions?'

Yet still no reply. She didn't care for a single response.

'Daisy, please for the sake of our friendship.'

Well, obviously, she doesn't give a fuck. I am the pussy who's been mopping over those who wouldn't give a fuck for losing me.

The anger growing in me is so severe while I type without thinking.

'Okay, great! Disappear, you are very good at it. Go away, but this time stay there forever. Fuck this fucking thing.'

Son of a bitch.

I resentfully throw the device; it flies, hitting the wall, a lamp, and a drawer before sliding down the marble floor.

That's when the door creaks open.

Already knowing it's Riley, I didn't turn to confirm; I remained tensed, full of venom, staring into the distance.

Ready to confront her for why she stole my fucking mail eight years ago.

"Daisy Esteban?"

But it was dad's voice.

So I didn't turn around.

"Son, do you know where Daisy Esteban is?" He asked again. So soft, like every time he would speak when he bails on me.

I swallowed, feeling tears sprang into my eyes.

My shoulders tensed, I stiffened in my stance, still staring at nothing in particular.

"Hey? Kaiser, look at me." He whispered cautiously.

It was enough.

I lost.

I lost every shield, every cover, every power I had.

My legs gave up and finally, let go of me. I fell on my knee.

That's when every pain and suffering Daisy had caused, every sadness, loneliness, and disappointment I've been through because of my parents, all those I had to endure, including faking happiness around someone I don't genuinely love, every fear, loss, and tragedy they just overpowered me.

I couldn't take in any more of all of this.

There was liquid slipping down my face and dropping against the shiny floor. It brought my body shaking.

"No! No! Son." I heard dad said when he squatted on his knees in front of me and held my face up in his hands.

First, he looked pale, panicked, and then miserable.

I was crying... I was fucking crying in front of my dad out of all people.

"Is okay. Is going to be okay." He claimed, pulling me to his bulky chest.

I don't really believe in those words. They never fucking works.

But I just needed hope from someone, anyone.

"Is okay... I will make sure of it." He assured, pulling me tighter, his fingers raking my hair as his body slightly rocks me back and forth.

Somehow, it was enough. It felt relieving.

"I will make sure she returns this time," Dad promised in my hair. "I will make sure she stays."