KAISER

I woke up this morning with every intention to bury the hatchet and call it peace between me and Malik. The dude can be an ass but he sure is a decent company to hang around with. What I really mean is he is always looking out for me, and not having him for this past couple of days felt weird. Ego aside, I kind of need him.

So when I had dropped Riley at her first class, I had driven through Malik's department hoping to find him around the premises.
But rather I accepted Riley's call and she urges for my presence.

I would've skipped if she didn't sound somewhat different than her usual elegant tone.

By the time I parked at the same spot I did when I dropped her earlier, she came jerking the passenger door and hop into the car with an unfamiliar expression.

Well, seems she looked just like she sounded on the phone the last time I spoke to her. Chaotic.

You see through the Thanksgiving break, I've noticed some changes in Riley. There was something she buried in her mind, I've been waiting for her to let it out, I've been expecting it the whole weekend but she managed to keep it in. Though I'm sure right now on a Monday morning when classes are about to start; is the right time she chooses to burst it open.

Here we go. I moistened my slightly dry lips when I turned to the valorous girl seated beside me.

"What's wrong," I asked, forward, and took off my sunglass.

"It just occurs to me, you have brought a car ten times expensive than mine and gave it to my friend. Did I ask you to do that?"

What? Okay, that's not what I was expecting.

Pressure stirred in my stomach like a pot of boiling butter.

"What? You called me back to ask me this?" My brows knitted at the gutsy girl.

A scowl suddenly replaced her expression and she rumbles: "Of course, I will call you back even from Africa if you pull such shit. I am your girlfriend."

Yes, she is right! Only it is crazy.

"And now you're reminding me." I snapped, trying to turn that table on her as I always do.

It was enough to stimulate that anger she's been keeping check off through the weekend.

There's a thumping sound from the dashboard, it instantly tempts my full gaze back to her furious eyes.

Did she just freaking swat my car?

"Stop, just don't play that game with me." She exhales a frustrated laugh and delays for a moment, her eyes flaming with something dark. Jealous, it was. "Is there anything between the two of you?"

I knew all was heading for this exact question. I knew she was going to ask one way or other.

Through the holiday, I've felt her eyes on me when she thought I was staring at Daisy, I had sense her presence when she thought she's spying on us, I've noticed the sudden improvement of affection whenever Daisy's around; the unexpected kisses and hugs, the cuddles and pleading to take her on the living room couch last night even when she was the one who had open our door for an elder man.

Maybe I should just spill the truth out, maybe I should be honest with her, she deserves to know I crave her best friend, she should know I've cheated on her too many times that we can't be together, she should know is so hard for me to have sex with her when my mind is with someone else.

She has to know I am no angel and I have too many flaws she can't patch up. After all, she had been there for me when Daisy wasn't, I shouldn't be protecting Daisy's feelings, I should confess how horrible I've been.

But in some odd way, I find it difficult to do that to Daisy. I saw the fear of losing Riley in those green eyes of hers the other day in her bedroom.

She was quick to lie to maintain their friendship. Regardless of what could happen in the future, right now Daisy kept stalling just so she could have her friend's presence in her life.

I shouldn't be the one to take that from her. I should sit back and let karma do its job.

One day she will lose as much as I did and she will understand how it feels to be broken and left behind.

And so I feigned a confused face.
"Why would you ask that?"

"I should know if I am living with cheaters under the same roof."

Of course, she is, she lives with two betrayals who don't deserve her. Daisy and I are a mess and Riley is the kind of person who got stuck in the middle of the shit. I wish she hadn't taken that letter. I wish she had left it where it was, right now she'd be existing somewhere far from possibly getting heartbroken.

"I... I have nothing to do with your friend. I gave her that car because she needed safety, Caden is after her, I thought you cared for her so I wanted to do something for you, I know I've been strange these days... every day, but I just wanted to offer anything that would make you happy. I did it for you. I didn't get you a car because I thought we can share my cars, I wouldn't mind you riding any among those in the garage. I just wanted to help, I didn't think I would hurt you doing that." I hate when I lie, mostly to Riley, for years we've been nothing but honest to each other, but all of a sudden everything has changed because of our guest.

I couldn't look at her after the lies I've spread, it was like she might see the truth right into me.

"What about the other night when you left Sacramento, Hopper said you've come back with Daisy and I was there thinking you never came home."

Fucking Hopper, he had to run his mouth.

"I saw her by the side of the road, she was carrying bags and I offered her a ride. As I said I was doing it for you. But I would stop if you want me to." I swallowed the bile in my throat. Lying could taste really bitter, my friend.

The first thought that came up to my mind was meeting up with the men to warn them to seal their mouths. I am certain they know a lot between Daisy and me than Riley does.

Disappointment glint across her face.
"I don't know what to think." She whispered.

I had lied to her, deceived her into blaming herself.

"I didn't mean to hurt you." I grab her small hand in mine, hoping it could help lessen how screwed up I am but it didn't. Once upon a time when she was my comforted and Daisy was my nightmare. How fast can things change? Ironic how I can only find solace staring through those green eyes that had hunted me through my teenage years.

"I shouldn't suspect you, is just so hard." Her eyes close as she draws in a deep breath.

How can I tell her is not her fault without telling her it was her best friend and mine?

"I understand," I murmured.

There was something I can call proud in those eyes of hers but it was brief before a pout takes over her face.
"Next time I will do the favors for Daisy, she's my friend, my responsibility." She assured me and I didn't have it in me letting her know, Daisy was my responsibility so for now, I only agreed.

After what feels like forever and the quiet is becoming excruciating, I felt her weigh over my laps, she was straddling me in the school parking lot.

Good! Great, I mean.

I have the guts to tell her to cool down but that way she could suspect something, mostly because I've been ignoring and pushing her away these days

She looped her arms around me, I hated I felt strangled.

I hated it burns when her lips brushed my ear: "I am sorry." She whispered.

Riley apologizing for the complicated reasons felt like a stab in the guts.
I wish sorry was an eraser, I wish it was enough, I could give her thousands of it.
"Me too."

I've decided to see Reagan instead of attending the class, maybe dad was right I sometimes skip classes but I do know what I am doing, I've done my homework and I still follow the syllabuses.

However right now is different, I'm skipping school because I can barely hold myself intact. I am breaking, I only hope Reagan can fix me.

When I arrived at the community health center, it was a pretty reminder today was Monday, there were cars parked in the lot and everything was so lively except me.

I kick the door of my car shut with my leg and hurried into the building.

When I head forward, I heard a woman's voice from behind me: "Reagan hasn't arrived yet."

When I spun, it was one of those staff that sit behind the desk all the time, who knew me but I have no idea what their names are.

I trial back to her desk with quizzical eyes. "Why? It's after nine what is she doing when she has patients... Client's waiting for her." I chastised. I am no patient, I am just here for therapy to understand myself.

"She will soon be here, would you like to book an appointment?" the woman asked.

"No, is it necessary?" I sneered.

"There are others waiting in line, to join them you would have to book an appointment, Sir."

She's gotta be kidding me.

"I don't follow the line," I informed the woman.

"I've heard a lot about you, it seems they've left the part that you're so rude?" Says a much younger voice, a voice that belongs to a female.

I twirl around and a pretty girl was staring back at me.
"And you are?" My lips curl up at her.

"Madison Thaddeus, you and my brother are holding a grudge." She thoughtfully said.