KAISER

"Suit yourself." I bring it back to my mouth but I didn't get to taste a drip because it was surprisedly snatched away.

Here we go again.

I bring my fingers to my eyes for a while before looking at her finally.

Even tense, she turns me on. Hell, I think she turns me on more when she's angry.

"Is either you're drinking or smoking, what the hell is wrong with you? Do you think this is all a joke? Do you have any idea what those toxic do to your body?" She scolded.

"The fuck I care." I blustered and snatch back my bottle before she could destroy it.

"Why am I not surprised? Although that's a shame for you, you have people who care, you have parents and a girlfriend who wants you, are you willing to lose that because of your selfishness." She was breathing hard and fast, I want to take the two steps between us and hug her tight. Will she let me?

Why is she angry all of a sudden though?

"What about you?" I asked quietly, curious for her answer.

"Pardon?" Creases formed on her forehead along with the confusion on her face.

It takes everything in me to ask the question. "Do you care about me?"

"You have people who want you breathing healthy, who wants you to live."

"Do you want me to live?" I press desperately, I'm sure she can see it in my eyes.

She swallowed and take away those beguile spring green eyes from me. I've never wanted her to look up this badly.
"Are you willing to let them go?" She concluded, avoiding my question.

"Do you want me to let you go?"

"Kay..."

"Fucking answer me, Daisy." I interrupted this time a little too loud than I intended. But when it comes to Daisy, I cannot control my fucking feelings and it hurt like a bitch. "You've screwed me to a zenith I can't fix myself on my own, and still I am not worthy of your honesty?"

"Kay..."

"No!" I almost yell. Ruining crazy, with anger and frustration swelling up my senses. "You are in no position to say anything... I've perished in ire for years, I have bile that's made home in my throat. Angered no one understands what it felt. Angered I couldn't have the one person I wanted to be stable, the person that's always there for me turned away and left. And I hated you are the reason why. If emotions are regulated by us and not governed instinctively, I wouldn't dare blink for your disappearance but here I am chasing you. And I can't stop myself. I am damned to chased you till the end of time, Daisy I will chase you even in the next world, I can't stop. Every time I look at you I see those years we spend apart and all I have is a huge regret we missed high school years, days we promise to share along, we didn't have anything together. Remorse, anger, grief and broke that's how I survived those years alone."

I don't know why I am saying this but I can't stop, my heart has never raced this fast.

I turn back and push my fingers through my hair, pulling harder to control the emotion but nothing is helping. I can't stop.

"Kay I didn't mean to leave. I had no option."

"Ironic how I'm inhabited by everything that's lead to you, why do you choose to consume me? Why? You are just everywhere, no matter how I try to blemish your thoughts in my head, you haunt me rawer than my shadow." My eyes closed, I wanted to control myself, but I fucking can't stop.

"Kay I'm sorry."

I turn around stopping in her face, causing her to withdraw instantly. "No, you don't talk. I do the talking." I yell. "You... I-I..."

"Please..." Her glistening eyes are suddenly swollen.

Fuck!

That's not it, I didn't want her to cry. I just want to talk.

My eyes blink rapidly, I am sure I've rubbed my face more than three times with my hand.
"Daisy, I-I am so sorry for what I did to you." My voice lowers but the words came rapidly. "I don't know how to handle my feelings for you, So I hurt you. The pain that I had caused you. I don't know how to forgive myself." I fucking hate myself. I so badly wanted to wipe that agony off her face, that I didn't recognize the words flowing out of my mouth.
"I may not be good at paying back kindness or demonstrating my sentiments, but I am sorry."

"Kay..." She croaked, her eyes blown out. While mine closed and I swallowed, for the next words that came out of my mouth were those I've never truly given to anyone from my chest.
"Words cannot do justice for the way I love you. I'm sorry... But I am in love with you."

I don't know how or when, but I am sure I'm trapped in something that only her can fix.

"Kaiser?" She called, Her pale-eyed hooded at me, her head shaking, arising what feels like fear in my chest.

"I'm in love with you," I repeated.

Like an arrow released to her chest, she steps back. Her head movement describes apparent denial. "But we can't." She murmured, if I wasn't so heedful and observant, I wouldn't grasp the barely audible words.

I pry towards her, something beating loud in my chest. "Don't tell me no. I need you Daisy can't you see?"
She can't say no.

But it seems I am wrong, her head is still shaking, signaling refusal before she turns away from me.
"No! this shouldn't have happened."

She's walking away, away from me.

"What will you have me do then?" like a pussy, I follow her.

"Love your girlfriend, KC." She spat harshly and gait away. Leaving me pinned to the ground, my legs stiffen, everywhere stiffens.

I've never felt pain strike this strong, right now I am in agony, I have a dominant feeling of wrath.

She didn't just refuse me, no.

I fucking apologize, didn't I? What else does she want?

She let me open up so she could tear up me easily?

Without thinking, I knock the bottle to the ground and keep smashing on the object with my boots until it shattered, like how I feel inside my chest.

It isn't enough though, I needed to punch something, the fucking trees were just there watching me back like they're all waiting for me to pour out my anger. And so I ball my fists and throw a potent punch to the wood.

It was like my knuckles are broken, scratch that, my whole arms. But I kept going, the physical pain is nothing compared to how rejection feels.