Name: James Potter
Crime: Turning All Hogwarts Banners
Suggested Sentence: Detention
Additional Comment: a biased outrage
Signed: Professor Slughorn

Name: Sirius Black
Crime: Starting a food fight
Suggested Sentence: Detention
Additional Comment: Try not to make so much mess next time!
Signed: Professor Flitwick

Name: Remus Lupin
Crime: Banishing the Slytherin common room stairs which lead to the dormitories
Suggested Sentence: Detention for a week
Additional Comment: a brilliant piece if magic
Signed: Professor McGonagall

Name: James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin
Crime: Hosting a house Slumber party
Suggested Sentence: Detention - rewriting the files in the caretaker's cabinet
Additional Comment: -
Signed: Professor McGonagall

Name: Remus Lupin
Crime: turning on every tap in the school and causing a flood
Suggested Sentence: Detention - scrubbing the toilets on every floor for a week
Additional Comment: What a mess
Signed: Professor McGonagall

Name: James Potter
Crime: Threatening to poke students with Transfigured needle.
Suggested Sentence: Since only threat, 20 points from Gryffindor.
Additional Comment: You got off lightly Potter.
Signed: Professor McGonagall.

Detention Essay #143 - Why I shouldn't hex people during class

By Sirius Black

It wasn't my fault, I swear! Ok, no I didn't swear. But really, Snivellus - I mean Snape - really did deserve what he got. It's not my fault that he had an allergic reaction to the hex that someone else who I have no idea about and will never know, cast! Personally, I think this other person in the equati-thingy is quite smart, as he hexed Sniv... Snape, and also framed me! The nerve of the man that I have never met before! But if you do happen to find some contradicting evidence that I was the caster of the hex, then I have a valid alibi. You see, I was simply stirring my cauldron innocently, when all of a sudden, a fairy by the name of Sparkles knocked on the window... I mean door that I was close to, then told me that a Blast-Ended Skrewt, yeah that was it, a Blast-Ended Skrewt was ravaging her sacred tree in, no near, the forest. So naturally I went with the little fairy to help them get rid of the Skrewt. Obviously, I destr... banished it from their sacred tree, which by the way, had many other little fairies inside it. Yes, it was hollow. So you see Professor Slughorn, that is why I could not have possibly have hexed dear Snivellus er Snape at this period of time, since I was saving the fairy world. If you need any proof that I was doing this, I have a burn mark on my left buttock, you could have a look to see if it's authentic if you want! So that means, if I was actually near the forest pulveris... banishing that Skrewt, then I could not have been hexing Snivellus. True, I might have an evil identical twin brother that I have no idea that I had, that had hexed Snivellus. That could've been why. But, to underline what has been said before, I didn't do it.

Oh and before I forget, to answer that question, I shouldn't hex people because I will be made to do useless essays. Did I say useless? I meant, of course, wonderful, ravishing, interesting essays. Of course.

By the one and only, Sirius Black.

Comments: Half of it wasn't too relevant, but I guess this one was better than last week's one. -Professor Slughorn

Detention Essay #267 - Why finding a date for the giant squid is ridiculous

By James Potter

It was not ridiculous! Lily Evans specifically said that she'd rather date the giant squid, so I thought hey! Why don't I find the giant squid a girlfriend so Evans will go out with me! Surely you must agree that the squid is now extremely upset after you banished the female I put in the lake. Honestly! Poor squid is lonely! It doesn't even have a name for Merlin's sake. What would you name a squid? Jeff? Bob? Jimmy? Alistair? Uh...James junior? Anyways to answer your question on why finding a date for the giant squid is stupid, it makes an incredibly dreadful essay to write! I mean, a ravishingly spectacular topic! Yeah yeah, that's what I meant!

Your favourite student and marauder, James Potter

Comments: that was a dreadful essay and I will see you on detention again tomorrow morning - Professor McGonagall

Detention Essay #593 - Why acting like a muggle pirate is not tolerated.

By Remus Lupin

Well...you professor do not tolerate it because er... I have actually no idea. Probably because we're having fun and you tend not to like the marauders enjoying ourselves, makes you suspicious or Something.
By the way, Minnie, that was definitely not me, as you have no evidence. I would like to see some before any punishment. In fact, I think I do recall seeing cauldron last month in the prefect's bathroom. It was honestly not me, and Sirius definitely didn't tell me that you er... You wouldn't want to know what he said. The fact that you would blame a prefect! I'm hurt, Minnie darling. Haven't us Marauders proved our undying respect for you? Also, there is seriously (no pun intended) no need to go and er...check our dormitories, you surely wouldn't find any pirate outfits there, certainly not.
Also, no offence min-min, but this essay was extremely boring. You could of at least given me extra homework!

Remus Lupin

Comments: I do not take kindly to cheek, however I am not going to give you any punishment. Just between you and me, that would only encourage the others - Professor McGonagall