Author's Note:

Disclaimer: The events, characters and names depicted in this book are fictitious and any similarity to actual person living or dead or to actual events and historical fact is purely coincidental.

Copyright: Ownership of this book is protected by copyright and other applicable laws and any unauthorized duplication, distribution or exhibition of this book could result in criminal prosecution as well as civil liability.

Chapter 1: Rage

"Kung wala ka ng maintindihan..."

I drew a horn on the head of the teacher that I doodled on my notebook. Abala ang gurong iyon sa pagdi-discuss sa harap habang abala naman ako sa ginagawang pagguhit sa notebook ko. I'm thankful that my seat is at the back part of the room and the poor teacher has no idea of how I made a portrait of her.

"Kung wala ka ng makapitan...."

It's been two weeks. Two weeks since my death and Dad's funeral. Sa loob ng dalawang linggong iyon ay may maraming bagay akong natutunan. Like how to be strong when you're alone. How to rely on myself. How to be firm in standing on the wave of life.

"Kapit ka sa akin..."

Nilingon ko si Jeremy sa tabi ko. He's been singing that song since he entered this classroom and he's not even moving on to the next lyrics. Maybe that's the only lyrics he knows.

"Will you stop it Je?", naiinis na wika ko sa kanya. He gave me an innocent look at luminga-linga sa paligid, avoiding my gaze.

"Ang ano?"

"Don't play dumb. Alam kong alam mo ang ibig kong sabihin", I told him. "You know what you did."

He frowned at me and took a deep sigh. Then he pulled something from his pocket. "Oh ayan. Nakita ko kasi sa gilid ng bag mo kaya kinuha ko. Malay ko ba na mapapansin mo pala. The other three are still on your bag", he said at inilapag sa harap ko ang dalawang Snickers. There were five of them in my bag dahil binigay iyon sa akin ni Andi kahapon.

But... what the hell? When did he?

"I was about to get the third one when you told me to stop", he said, maintaining a low voice dahil nasa harapan pa ang guro.

"That's not what I meant. It's the song. Stop singing."

"Eh? Ganoon ba?", his mood lighten up and he pulled the Snickers that he put in front of me again. "Edi akin na ulit ito ah." He grabbed the chocolate again at inilagay ulit iyon sa kanyang bulsa. He focused on the teacher in front again with a big smile. Maybe it's because of the chocolate that he stole from me or maybe because he's Jeremy and he is always smiling.

I heard Gray sighed from his seat. Basing on his facial expression, I know he is also bored. Uh, why does this class seem so boring today?

Hindi naman nagtagal ang pagtitiis na akala ko ay walang katapusan. The class was dismissed and we all went to the cafeteria for our morning break.

"Hay, sa wakas natapos din", Jeremy said as he munched on the Snickers. We're on our way to the cafeteria at maraming mga estudyante rin ang isa-isang lumabas sa kani-kanilang mga silid-aralan.

For the past days ay nanatili akong tahimik. Well, I'm not really a talkative person but I think I have gotten worst. Kung dati ay nagsasalita pa ako, now I only talk when someone asks me questions and my answers are usually very brief. Kung may nabago sa akin ay ganoon din ang Bridle. The gates are now opened to the public at maaari na kaming lumabas ng premises ng Bridle kahit walang parent o guardian na kasama. The death of the students due to the organization's wickedness are now settled at maaaring naisip na ni Chancellor Judas na hindi mabisa ang naisip niyang solusyon na pagsasara ng Bridle sa publiko.

The students are more than elated to know about the news. The acts of students aren't now limited hindi kagaya noong isinara ang paaralan sa publiko. There are no Medias lurking around Bridle too, so the school has been restored to its original state just like before. But the Bridle people aren't letting their guards down. Hindi pa rin nila matitiyak na maaaring ligtas na ang paaralan. They just doubled the security but not to the point of shutting the institution to the public.

Today is a special day for some students. Patungo kami sa isang museum para sa on-field lecture namin. It was a half-day tour sa isang bagong bukas na museum. Aalis ang inarkilang bus ng Bridle mamayang ala-una at excited na ang lahat ng Grade 10 na nasa unang section. It's still eleven and we were told to have our lunch first.

"Excited na ako!", Jeremy said still munching on the snickers. Naka-order na ito ng pagkain para sa aming apat. Among us, he's in-charge of ordering the foods kahit wala naman talagang kasulatan na nagsasaad ng mga task ng bawat isa sa amin.

"Nakakasawa na ang magpunta sa museum. I've been to a big museum before", pagyayabang ni Math. Well, she doesn't sound like she's bragging at mukhang ganoon lang talaga siya magsalita. Luckily, we're getting used to it. But lately I found Math so annoying. Kung dati ay okay lang sa akin ang mga pinagsasabi nito at tanging si Jeremy lamang ang nagrereact, now I am preventing myself from talking back. I don't know why I have been like this. Nagsimula ito noong araw na iyon. My death. I found myself so easily annoyed and angered these days. And I am always sarcastic. Gone was the Amber who only talked back in her mind. The beast inside me has found its way out.

"The new museum is large too. I heard they have some antique Chinese jars and other collections. Iilan lang sa mundo ang mga ganoon", Gray said as he eats. Kahit hindi nito ipinapakita, marahil ay excited din ito para mamaya.

"Aren't you excited Amber? Nakapunta ka na rin ba sa mga malalaking museum gaya ng napuntahan ko?", Math asked and I replied with my brow raised. I already said that I am not in my best mood these past days. Nasa proseso pa ako ng pagtatanggap sa lahat ng nangyari.

"I haven't but I'm not excited even a little."

She rolled her eyes at pinili na lamang na wag akong sagutin. They're adjusting to my mood lately. I did not ask them to do so ngunit mukhang hindi nila pinapatulan ang pagiging sarcastic ko. Maybe it is their way to express their sympathy for my loss.

Tss. I did not even ask them for any sympathy. I'd rather ask for a gun. Unfortunately, these three people here are not the right person to ask for a gun. And I should remind myself that the right people just declined my little request.

"Dalawang upuan lamang ang magkatabi sa bus. Let's decide who will sit with each other", Math said. "Who wants to sit beside Gray?" She raised her hand to respond to her question. Kinuha naman ni Jeremy ang kamay ko at itinaas iyon. I tried getting my hand back ngunit hinawakan lamang iyon ni Je ng mas mahigpit at patuloy na itinaas. Geez, I can sit with anyone. Hindi naman kailangang si Gray talaga ang makatabi ko. The museum is just a two-hour drive.

"There are two of you. Gray, pili ka", Jeremy said to Gray. This time ay nagtagumpay ako sa pagbawi sa kamay ko kay Jeremy at tiningnan siya ng matiim.

"No. Let's do it fair and square. How about rock-paper-scissors?", apela ni Math.

"No thanks. You can sit with him", wika ko sa kanya without looking at them. I heard Math said something like 'yes' samantalang narinig ko naman ang pagprotesta ni Jeremy pero hindi na ito nagpumilit pa. If he will insist that I would sit next to Gray, I'll be teasing him that he wants to sit with Math.

I excused myself at nagpaalam na pupunta sa banyo. Nang malapit na ako sa pinto ay napansin ko ang isang lalaki na sumusunod sa akin. He walked with me from behind and just then...

"WHAT THE HELL?!"

He just touched my butt! Sa lahat ng ayaw ko ay ang binabastos ako! Napansin ko ang pagtawa ng tatlong lalaki sa kabilang mesa habang nakatingin sa amin. Natawa rin ang lalaking nasa likuran ko. Just like me, he's also a Grade 12 student at nasa kabilang section nga lamang. His grin was so wide to the point na umakyat lahat ng dugo ko sa ulo. Nang muli akong sumulyap sa mesa ng mga lalaki, I noticed the ketchup bottle lying on the table. Mukhang naglalaro ang mga ito ng spin the bottle at ako ang napagtripan nila.

"Oops, sorry. Trabaho lang, walang personala-" . Hindi na niya natapos ang sasabihin ng walang sabi-sabing pinulot ko ang coke in can na nasa pinakamalapit na mesa at inihampas iyon sa mukha niya. Nayupi ang lata at natapon ang ilang laman niyon sa kanyang damit. Saka ko lamang napansin ang pagtigil ng bawat isa as they watched me smack the can on the guy's face.

"T*ngina."

I picked up the tumbler with water at sunod na inihampas iyon sa kanyang mukha. This time ay napatayo na ang mga kasama niya at tinulungan ang kaibigang sapo-sapo ang nasaktang bahagi ng mukha. Good thing it wasn't bleeding.

Galit na hinarap ako ng isa sa mga kasamahan nito while the others help the guy.

"Anong ginawa mo?!" galit na galit ito dahil sa ginawa kong paghampas sa kasamahan niya. I am so angry right this very moment. So angry to the point that I want to cry but I remembered that I will never ever cry again. Walang mararating ang pag-iyak ko.

"Hindi ko alam kung paano ka nakarating ng high school at nakapasok sa Bridle gayong simpleng paghampas man lamang ay hindi mo alam. You see, I just smacked your friend's face with this can", wika ko at sinipa ng konti ang lata na ngayon ay nasa sahig na.

I saw Gray, Je and Math rushed towards our direction at ganon din ang ibang mga nasa cafeteria. I hate attention, didn't I already say that? But that's what I am getting now. But I cannot just let this go. Ayoko sa mga bastos! How dare them touch my butt! Right now, I am shaking with anger.

"Bitch! Alam ko-"

"Alam mo naman pala. Then why are you asking?"

Mas lalo itong nainis sa sinabi ko. Gray tried to mediate the situation ngunit hinarang lamang siya ng isa sa mga kasamahan ng lalaki.

"Ano ba ang pinagmamalaki mo, ha Sison? Ito?", the big guy said at tinuro si Gray. Tsk. Bakit ba nila pinag-iinitan si Gray? Duh, he has nothing to do with this. It's about me and their friend who touched my butt!

"Sinabi ko ba? And do you know why I smacked your friend's face with a can? He touched my butt!" Geez! Saying the situation just awakens my anger right now.

"So? Para namang ngayon lang nahawakan ang pwet mo! And we're just playing! Be sport at makisakay ka na lamang! There's no malice in touching some butt like this", he said as he tried to reach for my behind ngunit bago pa man niya magawa iyon ay nahawakan ko na ang braso niya. I twisted it with all my might at napasigaw ito sa sakit. Good for him.

"Really? Then kapag naglalaro kami at nautusan akong patayin ka, would you be sport too?", I asked at pinanuod siya habang namimilipit sa sakit na sanhi ng pagbali ko sa braso niya. His friends tried to help him ngunit kapag nagtatangka silang lapitan ako ako ay mas pinipilipit ko lamang ang kamay nito causing him to cuss every swear word.

"Do it again or else magiging bali na ang kamay mo habang buhay", I told him.

Bumaling ako sa lalaking nanghipo sa akin kanina. He was holding his face, sa bahaging sinapok ko ng lata kanina. It's starting to bruise now. "At ikaw. Hindi lang yan ang aabutin mo sa akin."

Binitawan ko ang lalaki at dali-daling lumabas ng cafeteria. I walked towards the rooftop of Building D. Under renovation iyon kaya hindi masyadong matao. I stood up there at kinalma ang sarili ko. I can see half of Bridle from here at nakatulong iyon upang makalma ko ang sarili ko. I felt the door opened ngunit hindi na ako nag-abalang lumingon kung sino man ang pumasok.

"Amber..."

Pamilyar ang boses na iyon at kilalang-kilala ko ang may-ari niyon. But I don't want to talk to anyone right now. I felt him step towards me at hinawakan niya ako sa balikat.

"I'm fine Gray."

Hindi ako mahilig sa mga madramang eksena. If he's here to comfort me after what happened, I guess it's better if he'll leave. Things like those don't make me feel better lately. During Dad's funeral, lots of people have expressed their sympathy but those are useless. Saying condolence doesn't help you feel better. It doesn't change the situation at all.

"I'm not."

Napalingon ako dahil sa sinabi niya. Eh? Siya ba ang nahipuan? Why is he not fine? Napansin ko sa ekpresyon ng mukha niya na hindi nga siya okay. May bahid ng inis sa mukha niya. Is he mad because the other guys restrained him from defending me?

"You're not?" I asked. I just want to check if I heard it right.

"Yes, I am not fine. Galit ako", wika niya. Lumapit siya sa railings ng rooftop at tinanaw ang Bridle. I was trying to read his thoughts but I failed.

"Bakit ka naman galit?"

He puffed his cheek out. Sa reaksyon niyang iyon ay tila frustrated sya. Namumula rin ang tenga niya and it's a sign he is really angry. I have known Gray for quite some time kaya alam ko kung galit siya o hindi. This time, I can say that he is really mad.

"Because that bastard touched your butt", he said without looking at me. I felt my cheek reddened when he said about touching my butt. Okay, that was a big issue and I hate the feeling that my butt is the main issue here. Hey people, can we just forget that it's my butt that was touched?

"Yeah, and that bastard deserves some beating. Pero ayos lang iyon, I can let it go for now. Medyo nainis lang talaga ako", wika ko. I thought he'd feel better after I said it ngunit ganoon pa rin ang reaksyon nito. "Hey, sabi ko ayos na iyon. Kalimutan na lang natin."

"But I am really mad."

Humakbang ako palapit sa kanya at pinilit siya na humarap sa akin. It's like he was the one that I should console even though I was the victim here.

"Bakit naman?", I asked. Nagmatigas pa rin siya na humarap sa akin so I give up on making him face me. Saka lamang siya nagpalabas ng isang malaking buntong-hininga at hinarap ako.

"Because he was able to touch your butt! How dare him do that! Hanggang beywang nga lamang ako then that bastard! Argh! I'm really mad! Kanina pa ako nangangating pakawalan ang kamao ko sa mukha niya. Kung hindi ko lang inisip na made-detention tayo. At isa pa apat sila, who knows they'd attack you again and -"

Naramdaman ko ulit ang pamumula ng mukha ko. "Wait. So you're mad because he's able to touch my butt while you only touched my waist. Why? Do you want to touch my butt too?"

What the hell?! If he'd say yes I'm sure as hell na tatama sa mukha niya ang kamao ko since I cannot find any coke in can up here. Why are they getting mad over touching my butt?!

"No it's not like that! I want to touch your butt-"

"WHAT THE HELL?!"

"No it's not your butt. I mean -"
He sighed in frustration. Naguguluhan ako sa kanya at maging siya ay naguguluhan din sa pinagsasabi niya. Humarap siya sa akin at hinila ako palapit sa kanya. He slammed me against his body at mahigpit akong niyakap. He rested his chin on my shoulder bago nagsalita.

"I'm mad because that guy touched you. Ayoko ng ganoon. It's not just your butt okay? Ayoko na may ibang lalaki na hahawak sa iyo. It angers me so much. I hate it when someone is touching you kahit sa dulo ng buhok mo. Even if it's the tip of your finger, ayokong may humawak. Call me possessive or what pero ayoko talaga. And yeah, madamot ako especially when it comes to you."

His words are so warm that it reached my heart. Gray Ivan Silvan doesn't fail to make me fluster all the time. Right now I can feel the turmoil inside me. Mabilis ang tibok ng puso ko dahil sa sinabi niya. It was all so sudden that I do not know how to respond. I just found myself wrapping my arms around him. Nanatili kami sa ganoong posisyon ng ilang segundo until we heard someone cleared his throat.

Agad akong napabitaw kay Gray at tinulak ito palayo nang makita ang nakakalokong ngisi ni Jeremy. And just like Gray, Jeremy also doesn't fail.

He doesn't fail to arrive at moments like this, does he?

"Sorry to interrupt pero kailangan na nating maghanda. Nasa baba na ang mga bus", he said with a naughty smile. Ginantihan ko siya ng pag-ikot ng mata bago naunang bumaba. I can hear him approach Gray from behind.

"Gray, isa kang dakilang hokage", he said and I heard him groan in pain. When I looked back ay pinilipit pala ni Gray ang kanyang kamay na nakaakbay dito. "Ahhh! Oo na hindi ka na hokage!"

Tsk. Ano nga pala ang hokage? Binilisan ko na lamang ang lakad at hindi pinansin ang patuloy na pagrereklamo ni Jeremy dahil sa ginawa ni Gray sa kanya.

#

-ShinichiLaaaabs.