Alex woke up with a quiet whimper. Her body hurt so much. Everything hurt, even her eyelids. She tried to open them. The room was dark and cold, but her body felt feverish. She had no strength left in her body, but she curled her body up, tears leaked out the corners of her eyes. Another whimper escaped her. She heard movement beside her and she flinched with a whimper, despite her body aching and hurting. Something was placed on her, it was already warm. She forced her sore and heavy eyelids open. She blinked a few times, trying to focus.

"You get used to it." A hoarse voice said right above her.

"Minho...?" She whispered, her vision finally clearing.

Minho retreated to the other side of his room, sitting down on a bed across from hers. His body was slumped and his eyes looked exhausted, he was looking wearily at her, like she would attack at any given moment.

"That's my name...don't wear it out." His voice was monitored.

Alex tried to sit up, but her arms wouldn't support her weight. She stayed laying on her side, curling her body tighter, her feverish body wouldn't stop shivering. She realized now he had given her his blanket. Her heart clenched. He was scared of her, beaten, bruised and broken himself, yet he still took care of her. Whether it was just who he was, or if he subconsciously still remembered her, either way, her heart hurt. She loved him even more, it was a small gesture but it meant so much.

"What...what happened?" Alex asked, looking at him, taking in every detail.

She wanted to get up and hug him, hold him, have his strong arms around her, whispering that everything would be okay.

"The last thing I remember was pain, excruciating pain and screaming." she whimpered again as her body sent another shock wave of pain and a wave of nausea hit her. 

"Ya...they drugged you. With some new shucked up stuff, they forced inside your system. Some new kind of poison to inflict as much pain as possible- I haven't had  that version yet. You passed out. Wouldn't wake up. They brought us here. Well, you were dragged. While you were out you threw up a few times."

Even his voice sounded tired and broken.

"Oh. Well Rat Man always had a special place in his black heart for me. Only the best for me." She sassed weakly.

She was quiet for a little, trying to regain some strength. She looked up and met his beautiful coffee brown eyes. He was staring at her, a slight frown and his eyebrows knitted together.

"Do...do you remember me?" She whispered, terrified to know the answer.

"No." He said flatly, but paused and his eyebrows knit together some more.

"Yes...Maybe? They messed with my head a lot. I...I don't know what's real." He sighed in defeat, rubbing his forehead.

Alex finally managed to sit up, she was still shivering despite the sweat on her forehead, she felt dizzy and sick to her stomach.

"Well...what are you confused about?" She asked quietly, "I might be able to help. Janson is an evil twisted slint headed sewer rat. And I don't know what they did, how they twisted your mind, or lied to you about...but I'll tell you the truth about anything. I never lied to you. Just ask."

He sat quietly looking at her. Even though he was treating her like a dog who might attack, her stomach back flipped when his coffee eyes met hers. She smiled gently at him.

"I never lied to you before Min. I won't now, either. Just ask."

"Do you work for WICKED?" he blurted.

"No." Alex answered. "I used to. A long time ago. Once I..we.. once WE realized what was going on and they took you and sent you into the maze early, Tes, Tommy and I started stealing information and passing it to The Right Arm with the help of Captain Ronin. I was caught, and sent to the maze." Alex said evenly, she didn't break her eye contact, but she narrowed her eyes and growled, "and I will burn this place to the ground. I will destroy them! I hate WICKED with everything inside me! They destroyed my family, they destroyed me...and I will repay the favor."

"So..you weren't sent into our maze to hurt us or something?" His face twisted in confusion.

"No. I was sent because they were sick of my shit and disobedience. Tes and Tommy somehow switched me to our maze. I was supposed to go somewhere else."

"Why?"

"Why did they switch me?"

Minho nodded hesitantly. Alex's lip trembled, she couldn't believe they were having this conversation, again. She could see the doubt and confusion in his eyes. With her voice cracking and a tear sliding down her cheek she answered his question. 

"Because." She took a slow deep breathe, "'Cause being away from everyone I loved...away from my family, my friends...away from you...would have broke me. Even if we couldn't remember each other. I couldn't do it, I'd rather have died."

He was quiet again, watching her. He opened his mouth and then closed it. His forehead wrinkled. He chewed on his lip. He then opened his mouth again but closed it.

"What is it Min? I told you I wouldn't lie. Ask." Alex encouraged quietly, her voice soft and tired.

She shivered, pulling Minho's blanket closer around her.

"So..you didn't get Chris and Ben banished? You didn't laugh at them? You didn't push me and Alby or Thomas into the maze when the doors closed? Did we kiss? Did you kill Matt and Chuck? Did you call WICKED at the warehouse? And did you blow it up after trying to kill us?" He blurted angrily.

Some of what he said sent a knife into her chest. She took a ragged breath, a few more tears leaked out.

"Chris and Ben got themselves banished. They attacked another Glader. Remember rule 3?"

Minho nodded. Alex continued, she pulled a piece of her hair over her shoulders and twirled it through her fingers nervously as she continued.

"Chris attacked me like a wild animal. He tried to rape me. You, Min, saved me. Alby shot him with a bow."

His eyes went wide, he pointed to himself. He sat frozen, back stiff. He started to shake his head back and forth, while also muttering under his breath to himself. Alex wasn't sure what was happening, but she went on.

"Ben attacked Thomas. Alby told me to shoot. So I shot Ben with the same bow. They were both banished by a unanimous decision of the council. Including your vote. I would never laugh at that, even though what Christ did to me was horrible and I still have night mares. It was awful watching the banishing"

She took another ragged breath. "See these scares? 

He stopped muttering, his eyes wide watching her. She dropped the blanket and pulled the neck line of her shirt down, exposing her scars, and the bite marks. 

"That was from him before you saved me."

Minho's eye twitched, and his forehead wrinkled more. Alex went on.

"No. I never pushed you into the maze. You and Alby went in first thing in the morning, before I was even awake. Alby was stung, you tried bringing him back. You weren't going to make it, I tried going in to help, Newt and Fry held me back. Thomas slipped through while I was held back. You guys made it through the night. And that night...was hell. Absolute shucken hell, Min. I thought you weren't coming back, I punched the shuck wall, making a fist shaped dent in the stone. But you did, you came back, because you crossed your heart. And yes...that's when we kissed."

Her stomach did a backflip when she thought about their first kiss. Minho's face gave nothing away. She blinking back more tears.

"I did not kill Matt. Or Chuck." Her voice hitched on their names. "They were my buddies. My friends...my little brothers. Matt was ripped from me by a Griever and flung into the wall and over the cliff. And Chuck...Chuck was shot. WICKED killed them both. WICKED used Gally. Just like they used Teresa to call WICKED at the warehouse and at the Right Arm camp." She closed her eyes and lay her head back on the wall. "To answer your last question. No, I did not blow up the building. That was Jorge, trying to blow up WICKED. The building came down on top of me."

There was silence in their room. She opened her eyes. Minho was still sitting on his bed, but he was looking at the floor and muttering to himself again, his head was thrashing back and forth. Alex looked around the room for the first time, the only thing in the room were two small cots, and a small bathroom attached. Tiled floors and plain walls. Nothing else inside the room.

"How do I know you're telling the truth?" Minho demanded loudly, it caught Alex off guard.

"Because I love you Minho. I died the night WICKED took you, my whole world came crashing down. I spent seven? Eight? Long bloody shuck months trying to gain the information to come get you. And the day we came and stopped the train, Thomas and I honestly thought you were also in that train car. So when I found out you weren't there...I just about killed myself." She extended her arm and pulled up her sleeve, unwrapping the gauze and showed him her arm. "I almost killed myself." Alex repeated bitterly.

His eyes went wide, looking at her arm and the thin white and pink lines, with the big red scabs in all directions, plus the angry fresh cuts from her break down in the tunnel. It wasn't a pretty sight. 

"I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't stand the thought of you still being with WICKED and I had failed. Again."

She didn't bother trying to hold back the tears. She was so angry, heart broken, sad, desperate and tired. Shuck, was she tired of her life.

"Believe me because I love you! You trusted me once. Trust me again. Because I know as shuck you don't believe Janson! But..fine, if you don't trust me.. trust my anger. I WILL take down WICKED and Janson. I already killed Doctor Anna Smith and Chancellor Ava Page. And I will kill Janson."

Her voice was a hoarse whisper. Her chest was rising and falling rapidly. Her eyes stung with tears.

"Minho... one of the first things you said to me was 'don't mess with She-Bean she's a feisty one.' You caught me when I fell down the stairs and said 'careful Shanket you're falling for me already?' You double knot your boots. Before you went on a run you would bounce on your toes 3 times. You take just enough milk in your coffee so you can drink it without burning your mouth. Your favorite food is pancakes, probably because you drown them in syrup. You sleep on your back with an arm under your head or with my head on your chest your hand tangled in my hair. You like playing with my hair... your favorite color is green. Your favorite dinosaur is a Troodon- because their fast. You also had this big theory about watermelons and something called Ellemelons.. You want 2 kids, and wanted a house on the beach so we could watch the sunsets. You chew your cheek when you're deep in thought; when you're nervous you run a hand through your usually meticulously styled hair. When you ran the maze you would only make a note in your notebook every 5 turns, because you relied mainly on that ridiculous memory to make your map."

She was in a roll, every little thing she remembered, every little thing that made him Minho came pouring out, and it made her heart ache.

"You can dance and play the guitar. You wrote and sang a song at the bonfire in the Glade... and then on the mountain ledge you sang a song you wrote when you were in the crank city."

From inside her boot, she pulled out a ragged piece of paper. She kept it with Minho's promise rock, but she couldn't give it to Fry, she needed something of him with her. "Here." She held it out.

He slowly got up and took the paper, and sat back down, reading the words. His fingers tracing the worn letters.

"You make a little loopy tail on your ys and little circles when you dot your i, and sometimes your C's look like e's." He stopped tracing the litters and looked up.

"Why is it spotchy? In some places..." he asked.

"Tears." She whispered quietly, twirling a piece of hair around her fingers.

"Oh." He looked back at the paper.

"You also tell really bad pizza puns." She added as an afterthought.

"Because...because...no matter how you slice it-" he whispered.

"-it's always cheesy." They said in unison.

Alex had a small sad smile, while Minho's eyes were wide, and his mouth hung open. He closed his eyes and gasped. He grabbing his head with both hands, dropping the paper. He doubled over, and cried loudly in pain. Alex scrambled as fast as her sore body would allow, out of bed over to him. She knelt down beside the bed. He was holding his head and rocking back and forth. Alex reached a shaking hand to his face, she gently brushed some hair off his forehead. He groaned then curled up, clutching his head. She ran her fingers slowly and cautiously through his hair.

She remembered a cool cloth on her head helping, back in the Glad. She got unsteadily to her feet and made her way to the attached bathroom. A small cupboard had a few small clothes, she ran it under cold water, rung it out and went back to Minho. She pressed it to his forehead. She wasn't sure what else to do so she started to quietly sing you are my sunshine. He gasped and whimpered a few more times, but the second time she quietly sang her little lullaby, he had relaxed and curled up, his eyes closed, breathing normally. Alex pulled the blanket off her shoulders and laid it over him. She slowly got to her feet and gently brushed her lips against his temple. She picked up the paper, folded it carefully and put it back into her boot and with her lips tingling she shakily made it back to her cot. She lay down and pulled the thin blanket up to her shoulders, wishing she could just snuggle with Minho in his arms, but she didn't want to push him and scare him away, or have him strangle her again.

"Minho?" She whispered quietly, scared she would wake him up. "Will you stay with me?"

There was no answer. She closed her eyes, tears threatening to fall again. She almost missed it. She hardly heard it.

"Always."

She buried her face into her pillow and let out a quiet sob. She cried herself to sleep, she finally had him back, they were finally together, but she was alone. She fell asleep feeling empty and alone.

Alex was at the window, with Sonya, peeking between the curtains, they were little, hardly able to stand on tip toes to peek out the high window. It was dark and desolate outside. 

A little Newt, came scurrying over, "you shouldn't be there! They'll see you!" He tried to pull them away from the window.

Bang

Someone slammed into the window. It resembled a person, but their eyes were solid black pits of anger, all humanity gone. There were big thick black ropey veins wrapped around its neck and face, black goo and phlegm dribbled down their chin, they were a sickly pale colour. Their bloody fists were banging on the window, the monster was screaming at her.

Little Alex jumped back screaming, looking for her sister and brother, but they were gone, she was all alone. And she was standing in the Deadheads, being slammed into a tree over and over by a cranked out Chris.

"THIS IS YOUR FAULT! YOU DID THIS TO HIM! HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU! YOU KILLED ME! I'LL KILL YOU!"

Hands clawed at her clothes. More dirty grabbing hands were touching her, but she couldn't move, her wrists were chained to a wall, all she could do was wiggle and scream.

A hand clamped over her mouth, "shhhhh sweetheart, I want to have some fun with you before I kill you!" Chris whispered in her ear. Alex thrashed harder.

A voice screamed at her. "YOU NEVER LOVED HIM! I SAW YOU GETTING COZY WITH SOMEONE WHO'S EASIER! GO AHEAD AND KILL ME! GO KILL YOURSELF! YOU'RE WORTHLESS! MURDERER! THAT'S ALL YOU'R GOOD FOR! A KILLING MONSTER MADE BY WICKED! YOU'RE A USELESS WORTHLESS SHUCKED UP SCIENCE EXPERIMENT! HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE!"

 She knew that voice, it was a voice she came to depend on. Newt was screaming at her. Alex was slammed over and over again against a tree in the Deadheads. But this Newt had black lifeless eyes rimmed with red, he was pale and sweating, drooling black, his veins were black and wrapped around his neck, face and arms.

Alex screamed and cried, she tried to fight but her hands were still chained. Chris was touching her. Newt was screaming her worst fears at her.

Alex sat up. She ripped her hands out of the tight grasp. She scramble back into the wall, sobbing and hyperventilating. She had no idea where she was. A hand reached out again but she smacked it away, now cowering in the corner. She couldn't get her lungs to work properly.

The hand reached out again, grabbing her wrist roughly and didn't let go no matter how hard she fought and cried. Her hand was placed on something warm and solid. Something warm and rough held her face firmly but gently, pressing it into the wall so she couldn't thrash her head anymore. Alex gasped for air as a fresh wave of tears spilt over her lashes.

"He was right, he was right! He's always right! I'm worthless!" She sobbed. "I'm good for nothing...worthless! I'm just a murder!"

"No." A voice said quietly, but firmly, "you're not."

Alex had clenched her fists, holding onto whatever was in her hands. But she felt gentle but firm pressure on her hand, unclench it, holding her hand flat. She felt something familiar. She tried to quiet the voice of Newt and the too familiar crank cackling in her head so she could figure out why this was familiar. Her eyes still clamped shut, she felt a familiar soft thumb.

Shut up! She screamed at the cackling voice inside her head.

"Oh sweetie, you think he's still going to love you? After everything you have done?" Cackled the voice quietly

"No no no no...you're lying! You're lying! Shut up! Go away! You're lying!" Alex hiccupped in-between her crying.

"Just feel my heartbeat."

Alex's crying got stuck in her throat. She lifted her tear stained face, and met rich coffee brown colour eyes.

"Minho?" She breathed, her breath was frozen in her lungs.

"Hey Sunshine..." he whispered.