~Let my heart weep with tears of blood, and let my soul whisper cries of pain~

•••

     "Jungkook! Open the door!" the curly-haired boy hears Hoseok's voice, and he gets up from the couch, with his head heavy and his legs weak.

      "Hoseok, go away." he says and approaches the door, closing his eyes, feeling his eyelids extremely tired.

      "Jungkook, I swear,  if you don't open the door, I swear I'll knock it down. " the older boy's voice is heard from behind the door, while Jungkook feels his head even more in pain than before.

      "Why are you here?" the bunny boy's voice is weak, and it's pretty clear he's not feeling well. 

        "Kook, please open the door."

       Pause. 

       For a few moments Jungkook forgets to breathe, feeling his chest even more tighter than before. This deep voice. His voice, the voice of the boy he hurt a few days ago. The fact that he managed to stay hidden in his house for more than three days without even going to university was really something he didn't think he would ever be able to do. But he had to do it. Why? Because exactly the day after their quarrel, Taehyung went to his university. The curly-haired boy was lucky because he was able to see ahead, and he was able to hide with the help of Joshua - who did not agree at first, but could not refuse anyway.

      "Wha... what are you doing here?" the younger one manages to asks, and he can bet the older one tries his best to not yell at him.

      "Do you know how fucking worried I was?" the CEO asks, voice stern and plate, and the younger one gulps. "You weren't at the university or at Hoseok, so you could only be here while you were hiding. Why? Why Jungkook? Did you really want to kill me because of worries?" the older one asks after, and the bunny boy closes his eyes again, avoiding the burning sensation from them. 

      "I... I already told you that we- we are done, Taehyung. I broke up with you, so why are you here?" the doll eyed-boy asks, trying his best to be as stern as he can, but he knows that his voice is more like a broken one. 

      There is a silence for a few seconds, where Taehyung tries his best to not freaked out, because boy, he is not in the best state of mind right now. He was sick worried for Jungkook. Two days. Two. Fucking. Days! He hadn't heard from the bunny boy for more than forty-eight hours. The fact that Hoseok didn't even know where he was or why he didn't answer the phone began to worry him even more. But in the end, they realized that he could only be at home.

     "Why- Why I am here?" the older one repeats the question, while Hoseok looks at him intently, feeling sorry for the CEO- he doesn't look good at all. "Because I love you, Kook. I love you more than you think, or more than you can even imagine." he says after, then takes a deep breath. "Love, I know why you broke up with me. It wasn't because you wanted to have time to think, but because you didn't want to hurt me. That's true, isn't it?" the blue eyed-man asks after, then get down in knees, in front of the door, without caring about other persons. 

     The younger one feels his cheeks wet again, then nods, even if Taehyung can not see him. Yeah, this was the real reason. He did not want Taehyung to suffer as much as he did when his mother was ill. He didn't want the other one to watch him get drier and drier on the outside, as he slowly begin to die. He knows all too well how hard this can be.

      "Tae, it doesn't matter why I left. I don't want to ... I don't want to have anything to do with you anymore, so please leave. " the bunny boy whispers, feeling more and more tired. 

    He feels more than bad. Not only physically, but also mentally. His soul is also in pain, because he must  to hurt the one he loves, in order to protect him. Kinda funny, right? Well, it is true though. He already knows how much it hurts Taehyung what he says, but he can't stop now, because otherwise he will give up more than sure. If he talks to Taehyung face to face, he will most likely be with him again. Because he is extremely weak when it comes to him. He loves him more than anyone else (besides Yoonhyo) and that's why he has to stay strong.

     "I know you're scared, angel. I know you want to hide from others, but don't push me aside, please. Let me sit next to you, please, love. " the CEO comments, while the younger one starts to sobs harder, feeling his heart heavy because of those words. "The way you act, you don't protect me or anyone else. You're just making us feel useless, Jungkook. I ... I feel useless because I can't be near you, knowing you need me." he continues and the bunny boy bites his lower lip, fighting with himself. 

    He wants from the bottom of his heart to leave Taehyung to be with him. He really wants to. But if he does, won't he get hurt? That's why he ran away, so as not to make him suffer even more. That's why he decided to break up with him, to protect him from more suffering. And right now, he can't let him sit next to him. Why? Because he is more than sick. He is lost, scared and confused. And Taehyung doesn't know this side of him, he has no idea he could be like this too. Because the younger one always tried to be as happy and as helpful as he can be.

    Sometimes it is easier to pretend that you don't care, than to admit it is killing you. It's easier to smile, even though you want to drown in your own tears. And that's what Jungkook has always done. He tried to be as happy as possible, even though he was sad. To smile, even though he wanted to cry. To sing, even though he felt the need to scream. But is that as good as it sounds? Always pretending to be so strong, even though it's not true? The younger one doesn't know anymore, he has no idea. Because Taehyung has shown him many times that it's okay, it's okay to cry, to be weak sometimes. He showed him that there was nothing wrong with a "I'm not well"

     "I... I just want a day where it feels I am not falling apart anymore."Jungkook's whisper is heard even behind the door, and Taheyung feels his heart being even more scratched. "I ... I feel like I don't deserve happiness, Tae. I feel like I'm always doomed to suffer, but I try to get over it, to be strong. But ... but it's getting harder and harder." he says after and the two boys outside, look sadly at each other. "It's getting harder and harder to live when you know you don't deserve it." the younger one finishes, while the CEO refrains himself from knocking down the door. 

     This is not good. This is not good at all. Taehyung hates to hear Jungkook speak like this, he can't hear him, saying again that he doesn't deserve happiness, or he doesn't deserve to live. Hell, he deserves everything! Life is far too hard, especially with his angel. Taehyung will never understand why these people who deserve heaven, they only receive flames from hell.

      "My angel, you know very well that you must not pretend to be strong in front of me. You know very well that I will always be by your side, love. No matter how many clouds float above you, I will always do my best to bring you the sun." the older one comments, while Hoseok looks at him with a fond smile. "Yoonhyo loves you so much, do you know how much he cried these two days because he didn't see you? You know ... you know how much I cried too, Jungkook? Do you know how hard it was for me to not be with you, angel?" the older one asks after, and the younger one just looks at the floor, with teary eyes. 

     "Yon... Yonhyoo cried?" the bunny boy asks after in a guilty and sad voice, and the CEO smiles a little- even in those kind of moments Jungkook cares about the others, not about himself. 

     "Yeah, he he ate almost nothing yesterday. Oh, and he get asleep so hard, he always says he wants you to put him to sleep. " Taehyung replies and Jungkook starts to cry even louder, while Hoseok takes a deep breath.

     His best friend was facing such a problem on his own, and he had no idea. Yes, he knew before that Jungkook doesn't felt really well from some time, but the younger one always told him that nothing is serious. And his stupid ass believed him all the times. 

      "I- I... I am sorry." Jungkook says after, wiping away some tears. "I am scared, Tae. But I'm not afraid I'm going to die, I've been expecting this for a while. I'm afraid I'll make you suffer a lot. " he says later and Taehyung gets to his feet again, tapping the door with his right hand.

     "But I'm not afraid I'm going to die, I've been expecting this for a while. I'm afraid I'll make you suffer a lot. "

    These words repeat themselves painfully in the CEO's mind, making him close his eyes for a few moments. He has no idea if he should feel worse because Jungkook is at peace with the thought that he will die (Taehyung will not allow this) or that he fears not to hurt him, that's why he hide himself. But something is certain anyway. Taehyung will not allow him to die, he will go to the white canvases to save him. In love and war anything is allowed. And Taehyung will fight with the devil himself and make a pact with him if necessary to save his angel.

    "Love... please, please open the door." Taehyung's broken and lost voice makes the other's heart tremble with pain, and then he gives in.

    He realizes that there is no point in hiding, he won't get anywhere anyway. And he realizes that he can't protect Taehyung like that either. Trying to distance himself from him does not help him, on the contrary, it makes him worse. So he puts his right hand full of bruises on the door (sometimes the nervous breakdowns do nothing but force him to punch the walls) and spins the key, just to find after an Taehyung with red eyes and much weaker than Jungkook would like see him .

     When Taehyung sees his angel so weak and so pale, he swallows hard, trying not to overdo it again, only to force Jungkook to leave again. He clenches his fists when he see the bruises on the other's hands, and he can swear that Jungkook doesn't have much strength to stand on anymore. He looks so small, so vulnerable, so sick. And the older one hates this. 

      "Tae, I-"

      "Jungkook, please, let me side by your side, like I promised. I want us to go through this together, love. And I promise that our end ... will not be a sad one. " the other one interrupts him, then takes him in his arms carefully, hoping not to hurt him even more. 

      The younger one smiles weekly, closing his eyes and returning the hug. He should have stayed away from the CEO, and yet, after only two days, look at him in his arms. But it can't help. Taehyung simply became more important than air to the curvy haired-boy.

      "Don't says promises you're not sure you can make. " he whispers later, as a tear falls on the other's blouse.

     Because nobody can tell how an ending will be. Life is unexpected, sometimes sweet, but often bitter. That is why we cannot put desires before reason.

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Hello angels! A new yet boring chapter because yeah))

We only have four chapter and the epilogue to go then I will finish this book uwuu

I wait for your opinions and see u at the next one!