~I learned what pain is. Nothing but my whole life~

•••

      "Jungkook, you really are fine?" Joshua asks, and the curvy haired-boy looks at him with a faint smile on his face. 

      "Yeah, just... I don't know, I'm a little tired I think. " the younger one answers, then takes his phone out from his pocket. 

      He has about five missed calls from Taehyung. He should probably call him back until he comes to his college. Yes, Taehyung is capable of such a thing.

       "I think you should go to the hospital, Jungkook, I can go with you if you want." Joshua suggests and the other one leaves his phone on the bench- he will call his boyfriend after the break will be done. 

      "No need. Actually, I will go today with Taehyung, after the classes are finish. I really told him it is not necessary, but yeah... he insisted this morning way too much." the bunny boy comments, and the older one remains quiet a few seconds, then forces a smile. 

      "I am... glad to see your boyfriend is so caring with you." Joshua comments at his turn, and the younger one nods, with a small smile on his face. 

      "Yeah, but he's been exaggerating lately. Even now I have about five missed calls from him. I keep telling him I was fine, but he doesn't believe me. " he says and rolls his eyes, and the other just looks at him intently.

      "He is just worried about you, Jungkook. " he says, then looks at the sky. "It's better to have someone to worry about than not have anyone. " he whispers later, and the other looks at him intently.

       "I know." the younger one agrees then looks at his turn at the blue sky. "You have someone which worry about you as well." he continues after, and Joshua giggles a little, then raise his left eyebrow. 

      "Yes? And who is that person, can I know? " the eldest asks in an amused tone, and the other smiles proudly, showing his bunny teeth to Joshua, who missed like crazy this cute view.

       "Of course is me, hyung. I really care about you, a lot in fact. And I am worried as well." the younger one admits, while some butterflies dance in the other boy's stomach. "You are an amazing friend, and I am really glad I got to know you." the curvy haired-boy continues, and Joshua's smile slowly fades.

     Right... An amazing friend. Don't get him wrong, it's not like Joshua doesn't like being friend with Jungkook, but the truth is, he's understood for a while that he cares about Jungkook more than just a friend. But who can still condemn him? The bunny boy is cute, beautiful, smart, funny, kind-hearted, in short ... perfect. Who wouldn't fall in love with him? And Joshua can't blame him because he already has a boyfriend. Even if he wanted him to be that one.

     "You are really amazing, Jungkook. You know that, right?" the older one asks, looking softly at the bunny boy. 

     "I try." the younger one jokes, and the other one smiles- he is glad to see that Jungkook is a little more happy today. "Joshua hyung, can I ask you a favor?" the younger one says after, and the older one accepts instantly.

      "Of course, anything for you, Jungkook."

     The bunny boy smiles then looks again at the sky. Maybe what he will say next it will be too cruel, but it is necessary.  

       "If something happen to me, please take care of yourself and Hoseok hyung." the sentence takes the other by surprise, then frowns instantly.

       "What are you talking about? What can happen to you?" Joshua asks, and the younger one smiles again, eyes still of the sky. 

        "Before my father and mother died, they both lost a lot of weight. They both started vomiting every time they wanted to eat, they both had no energy. In addition, they both began to bleed from their noses and often began to feel dizzy. " the younger one explains and the other swallows in sec.

       "And what this have to do with you?" the older one asks, trying his best to look as relaxed as he can. 

    Jungkook turns his attention to him, then his smiles drops.

      "In the last few days, I've had the same symptoms, Joshua hyung. " he recognizes and the other freezes immediately. "I may have cancer, just like they did." he says later, trying not to look as scared as he really is.

      The older one tries to understand what he just heard, hoping it's nothing more than a bad joke. No, this can not be real. 

      "You... you said everything is fine! You said you are okay!" Joshua raise his voice, without caring that both of them are outside, and other students are passing by.

    The younger one just sighs, then picks his phone from the bench. 

       "I guess... I lied?" his answers comes out more like a question. " I didn't want to tell you at first, especially since I'm not sure. But I think you have the right to know. And in addition, last night I had another episode in which I felt I didn't have much left and I will die. " he jokes, but the other one doesn't seem amused at all. " Taehyung called his brother-in-law, who is a doctor. They both thought I was asleep, but they didn't. And I heard them. " he says later and the other one just looks at him intently, with heavy heart.

        "And what did they said?" Joshua manages to asks, and the younger one straightens his voice again.

         "The doctor told him I had some symptoms, which shows that I have cancer. " he admits then the other one just takes him in his arms, again, without caring about those who look at him.

      "If you really have... cancer, you will get through this, Jungkook. You are way much stronger than you look, and I will be here, with you. I promise." he says, and the bunny boy hugs him at his turn, then close his eyes. 

     Yes, he is afraid. He is afraid that he will have to leave this world much faster than he should - just like his parents did. But he can't give back anyway. He will have to accept what the future holds for him, and if everything has a premature end, he will have to make sure that those he loves will remain happy behind him. Because he knows, his happiness, wherever he goes, will be determined by the happiness of others.

     Last night, while he was pretending to be asleep - the injection was not so strong - she heard her boyfriend crying, and his heart stung him harder and harder. His words left him with even a bigger pain near his chest.

"Why, love? Why? Why do you have to suffer so much? Why the hell is life so dishonest with you? Why the hell is life so dishonest with you?"

     Jungkook has no idea why. He really can't think why the universe wants to hurt him again and again. Maybe he did something wrong in a previous life, and now he gets the punishment. Or maybe it's just not worth the happiness.

"My angel, I promise, no matter what happens, I'll be with you. I'll make sure we get over all this madness together. "

    Yes, Jungkook knows that Taehyung will always be with him, no matter how hard everything seems. But is it okay now? Is it good for him to be there, and to suffer with him?

" Don't be afraid, love, I'm here. I will always be. "

     Strange is that he is not afraid. At least not for his life. But he is afraid of what might happen to his loved ones if he needs to leave.

     Life is weird sometimes. She throws you into a precipice and lets you toil, to rise to the surface and find the light. But most of the time, the light is long lost, and the darkness ... gets much closer to you than anyone else. And you start to forget. No more expectations. You start to get used to the pain, to accept it.  And Jungkook already got used to.       

***

     "Don't worry, Jin hyung. You can tell me if it's something bad." Jungkook assures the doctor, while Taehyung tries his best to not lose his self control.

     Yeah, it looks that the CEO is more nervous than Jungkook. And that makes Taehyung wonder why his boyfriend is so calm.

     "Jin hyung, he is fine, right? You can heal him, right?" Taehyung asks at his turn, and the oldest takes a deep breath.

      "I have a bad news and a good one." Jin replies, and the lovers look at him intently.

       "Start with the bad one then." the bunny boy comments and the older one begins to gently caress Jungkook's right hand, which is next to his.

     The doctor looks over some sheets, then set them aside on his desk. He then turns his attention to the two, when Taehyung sees his sad expression, he already knows he won't like what he will hears.

      "Unfortunately, my suspicions from last night are more than suspicions. " the doctor says and Taehyung feels like he forget to breathe, while the other stares blankly.

     They both already had this premonition, but they hoped that everything would be wiped out by a miracle or something.

       "So he... he has-"

        "Yeah, he has cancer." Jin interrupts Taehyung's trembling voice as the bunny boy continues to stare blankly out the window. "But I have a good news too." he continues and the CEO listens carefully. "The disease appears to be at first, not at an accelerated stage. So we can start treatment and have an operation next week. " he says after, and for a second, Taehyung feels relief somehow, until he hears his boyfriend.

      "I'm going to die anyway. " the youngest one says and surprises both his boyfriend and Jin.

       "Love, what are you talk-"

        "My dad was discovered when the disease was just beginning as well, Tae. And he died. Believe me, it's better to accept right now what will happen. Besides, I don't want to spend the rest of my time in hospital beds. " Jungkook explaines and then gets up from his chair. "I want to finish my project for the drawing class, so I'm leaving now." he continues in an plate voice, then gets out from the room, closing the door after him. 

     Taehyung is speechless, exactly like his brother-in-law. For a few moments, nothing can not be heard in the room but the breath of the two, and Jungkook's words.

"I will die anyway."

    The fact that Jungkook gives in just before trying what Jin said makes the CEO feel even worse than before. No, it can't stay that way. He has to convince him, he has to make it clear that he is not going to die. He can't die!

      "Tae, he really needs treatment and the operation. I am pretty sure, he can he healed. When his mother was brought here, she was in a more bad condition than him. You have to make him to understand." Jin breaks the silence, and the other one just nods, then gets up from the chair, trembling a little.

      "I- I will... go and talk with him." the blue eyed-boy stutters, and the older one smiles sadly at him.

      "Make him understand that the battle is not lost until the knights give up. " the doctor says later, and Taehyung leaves the room with a heavy heart, a broken soul, and a few tears coming out of his eyes.

     He can't give up. No" His lover, his angel, will not give up either. He will be fine. Taehyung has already promised this, and he will not break his promise. If necessary, he will go through even in hell, just so he doesn't let Jungkook join heaven so quickly.

_____

Woah, new chapter pam-pam:))

U missed some angst?)) Hehe, sorryyyy

Ilyyyy