~I hoped to be the one you see in the dark. But unfortunately, the darkness was way too big~

•••

       "You are ok?" Hoseok asks and the curvy-haired boy just looks at him, then nods. 

      Jungkook doesn't understand why this question was invented, and it's so often said. Most people lie and say, "Yes, I'm fine" when in fact they are far from being fine. They say this just to stop worrying about others and to animate a little the situation, but the truth is that they are not okay at all. And it's not like those who ask this question don't know the truth. Yes, those persons know they're not okay, those persons know they're suffering, and yet ...

     And Jungkook is certainly not well, he is certainly lying.

      "Yeah, it is just kinda... hard, y'know?" the younger one asks at his turn, and the older one looks at him, eyes full with worry. 

     "You look even skinnier than before, Jungkook. I know this must to be hard as fuck, but you cannot neglect your health." the taller one says, while the bunny boy just looks at the window.

     Yeah, he knows very well how he looks right now. He knows very well that he looks like a shadow of the boy he once was. His mother has been dead for almost two weeks, but he seems as lost as the first day. Besides the fact that he lost more than six kilograms and that he looks like a walking skeleton, the circles under his eyes show how little he is friend with the sleep. 

      And he tried. He tried to eat, not because his body needed, but because he saw how worried Taehyung is. But every time he tried to ate something, his stomach didn't look happy, and immediately after that he kept vomited. Taehyung insisted more than Jungkook wanted, to go to the hospital and check what was going on, but the bunny boy always refused. He told him that he is fine, that he has nothing. He just hasn't eaten well in a while, so his stomach refuses to eat. That's why this happens.

       "Of course, Hoseok hyung, I know this." Jungkook says at his turn, and his friend just sighs. 

       "Anyway, you finished your assignment? That one with the paints. You said it was very important to pass the course. "" the older one changes the subject, trying to cheer up the situation. 

      "I haven't started it yet. I wanted to start on Sunday. " Jungkook answers then hears the phone ring from his pocket.

      "Who is it? Your clingy boyfriend?" Hoseok jokes and the bunny boy nods, then answers the call. 

      "Yeah, Tae. Something happened?" Jungkook starts the conversation, then he can hears how his boyfriend sighs.

     "Why didn't you reply to my messages? I thought something had happened. " Taehyung asks at his turn, and the younger one smiles a little- something really impressive those days.

      "Sorry, I was talking to Hoseok and I didn't take my phone out of my pocket. " the bunny boy says and can see his friend smiling.

      "Oh... it's ok then. If you're not feeling well or you want to go home, just call me, okay? " Taehyung asks again and the other just rolls his eyes.

        "I can take care of myself, Tae. I'm not a baby. " the bunny boy replies and then looks out the window again.

      "You are my baby though." his boyfriend's deep voice makes Jungkook to move his gaze back to the table, then straighten his voice.

       "You... you should get back to work. We can talk later." the younger one comments, looking a little embarrassed at his friend.

       "But I miss you, love!" the older one says again, and this time the younger one smiles a little stronger.  

       "I have to go now, bye." Jungkook says then close the call without letting Taehyung answers.

     Hoseok looks at him with a smile on his face. He really misses Jungkook's smile. It's been far too long since he saw him.

      "I'm glad to see that Taehyung can make you smile even a little, just with a call. " the older boy says, and the other just looks at the phone screen absent.

      "I'm misbehaving with him, Hoseok. Even if I don't want that. " Jungkook admits, and his voice immediately becomes smaller.

     "What do you mean?" the taller one asks, raising his left eyebrow. 

       "Ever since my mother ... died, Taehyung has always been there and tried to take care of me more than he takes care of himself. Besides working, he worries about me too. He always tries to cheer me up, but I say I want to be alone. And I hate to see him so stressed out because of me, Hoseok. But even if I try to look better, happier, I can't. And I feel like I'm hurting him more and more. " the bunny boy explains, and a tear escape from his left eye. 

      "Jungkook, he does all this because he loves you. More than likely he also understands that you need more time to become yourself again. Don't worry, Taehyung knows for sure how much darkness is in your soul, and I can swear that he will do his best to bring you light again. " the older one says softly, and the other one looks at him intently. 

     "But what if I do not deserve any light? What if I have to deal with the darkness all my life, Hoseok?" Jungkook whispers, and the older one looks at him, with a sad smile on his face.

     "In life we ​​will always have such a moment, when we feel that we have no right to happiness, or light. But the one above created the world in balance, Jungkook. Where it is dark, there is a drop of light. Where there are black clouds, there are also rays of sunshine. So you don't have to think that way. Everything that is meant for you will happen, but believe me, it is your time to be happy. " Hoseok finishes and the curly-haired boy just nods, even if he doesn't believe him.

      He cannot believe that he has the right to his own light. But maybe ... he's wrong.

***

     "I'm sorry, I should have let you know in advance that we'll have some guests. " Taehyung says and then kisses his boyfriend's forehead, and Jungkook looks at the people in the living room in panic.

      When Taehyung came home from work, Jungkook did not expect to be accompanied by four more people: his brother, Namjoon, Jin hyung, Yoongi hyung and his boyfriend, Jimin. But still, he didn't feel embarrassed, even though he felt their glances to be far too insistent on him — probably because he looks like a zombie — just a little taken by surprise. However, Jin hyung insisted— exactly like his boyfriend fid— that he should go to the hospital for a check-up. But seeing how stubborn Jungkook can be, he gave up.

     "Tae, they will see you." the younger one whispers, and the CEO giggles a little, then he kisses his boyfriend's nose, while Jungkook becomes a little redder.

      "And what? It is something wrong to show how much I love you?" Taehyung asks with a smile on his face, but the other one looks at him intently. 

      "Yoonhyo-"

       "Yoonhyo already knows, Jungkook." the older one interrupts him and the other looks at him in astonishment. "

      "What? How... how he knows?" the bunny boy asks in a tiny voice, feeling embarrassed as fuck.

      "Well, last week he saw me kissing you on the forehead while you was asleep, then he asks me  if I love you, and yeah, I admitted it." Taehyung answers and then scratches his neck, feeling a little embarrassed at his turn.

     Jungkook feels a pleasant sensation in the stomach area, something he has not felt for several days. Just the thought that Taehyung made such a gesture when he was sleeping makes him feel good and stupid at the same time. He is damn sorry that he can't be open with Taehyung and tell him how he really feels. He's so sorry he can't be with him like he used to be. But he wants to. He wants to be warmer and more honest with the CEO, because he doesn't deserve to be treated that way. Taehyung deserves as much love as he offers, and Jungkook wants to heal while he loves the older one.

      And maybe the future isn't as bright as Hoseok said. He may not be happy, but Jungkook wants to not be lost, at least for now, in the present. The past cannot be forgotten, and that is not necessarily a bad thing. Because the past, no matter how bad it is, is part of our lives, it builds our character. And at Jungkook's turn did not have the best past. But that doesn't mean it has to destroy both the present and the future.

      The past can become a barrier between our present and our future. It can create a decline in our lives, or it can take the control over it. But we can decide if we want to give up the unknown events of the future and the present, for certain moments in the past.

     Yes, his mother died just two weeks, and a couple of days, ago. This wound has not healed yet and will probably never heal. More than likely Jungkook will feel the need to always see her, or hear her warm voice. But such painful things happen — unfortunately — extremely often, every day. And everyone has their own stage, their own healing way. And Jungkook already knows. He can only be healed with the help of others. And yes, he wants to be helped. Hoseok, Joshua, Yoonhyo, but especially Taehyung are there, for him, with him. They all wait for him to ask for help, and the bunny boy realizes that he should finally accept.

     Holding our heads in the past, we do nothing but pollute our present and plunder the future. And Jungkook did that for quite some time. Not just since his mother died, but since his father left first. And maybe happiness isn't for everyone, maybe he doesn't deserve it. But still, he can try, right?

     So he decides to take the present by hand, leaving the past a little behind. And the next thing he does is to hug Taehyung, not caring that they can be seen by guests. The CEO is a little surprised by his boyfriend's gesture. Why? Because it is the first time after many days, when he initiates such a gesture. However, it only takes a few seconds for the older one to hug him as well, stroking the curls from his head, at the same time.

      "Thank you, Tae." Jungkook's whisper makes Taehyung open his eyes, but he doesn't break the hug.

      "Why, love?" he asks, voce soft and calm.

       "Because in all this darkness, you managed to be my light. "Jungkook replies, remembering the conversation he had with Hoseok, a few hours ago.

     Taehyung's heart skippes a few beats, and then he smiles broadly and sincerely — something he hadn't done in days. His boyfriend might even become a poet, because often his words are golden.

      "You don't have to thank me. I will always be here, angel. I'll always make sure you get up when you fall, and I will give you my hand when you feel it's all too much. " the older man says, and the other smiles weakly.

     Maybe life is full of obstacles on our way to happiness. Maybe nothing is easy if we want to get something. But no matter how painfully and difficult the road is, it's definitely worth it. Especially if we have someone exactly to our right, ready to help us, not matter what.

     And Jungkook has Taehyung.

        "I know." the bunny boy whispers again, then smiles a little stronger. "I know." he repeats again,  feeling his soul not so heavy as before.

       And maybe Jungkook's way to heal, is right here, in his arms. Maybe Taehyung is the only one who can make him to find himself again.

_________

Yeah, new chapter hehe:)))

Ok, first of all, I want to make clear a thing: I know this skip times are really annoying, but yeah, I figured out it will be way a lot for chapters to go if I will not do this thing:)

And second, I hope u liked this chapter even a little bit, and see u at the next one!!!

Lyyyy