PRAKRUTHI
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'Hold this from here Anita ...And pin it here...' I heard Paro aunty telling my bridal dresser Anita aunty who looked a little annoyed by her interference but I was relieved. I wasn't feeling comfortable with the way she tried to pin my saree, I felt exposed.

This wedding isn't happening as per my dreams and expectations least that I expect is I be comfortable in this fancy dress they have planned for me.

'Comfy Pakku?' Paro aunty asked and I slightly smiled and nodded.

She took one look at my face and then she passed me a hesitant smile and placed a small black kohl dot behind my ears saying 'You look beautiful Amana (sweetheart)...but I am asking this again. Are you sure?'

But before I could answer that question I heard her mother in law and my cousin Pattu's grandmother speak up

'What do you mean by she is sure Parvathi? What are you trying to do? She is a matured girl unlike your daughter Prarthana get it?' saying she came infront of me and said

'You are doing absolutely the right thing Prakruthi. I didn't expect such maturity from a girl who was doing her education in a forward city like Bangalore but I am impressed with the upbringing your father Ananth gave you. Honestly the way he spoke at Pattu's wedding...I just did not like him at all.

He is Parvathi 's brother so I tolerated his misbehaviour then..and when I was told his daughters are going to get married to Prarthana's father in law's brothers children I was worried for both the families but after seeing how well you handled the situation...I'm proud of you child. I mean no one would say you lost your mother when you were 10...so much maturity for a child without a female presence in life ' she said and I couldn't stop my tears.

She is right. I miss my mother a lot today. I don't know if what I'm doing is right or wrong but all I know is I want to see my father happy. I want to see him relax. I am tired of seeing him take the pressure of our studies, career and now our marriage.

I wonder at times what is more complicated. Being born as a girl? Or being born as a girl to a father who can go to any extent to fulfill his children's dreams. My father was no less. He didn't have a cape nor could fly in air but had a superpower to keep all of us happy although it killed him from within.

'Mai (mother in law) please...Pakku may not have a mother but she definitely has a aunt and even she loves her a lot...right Pakku?' she asked cupping my face and I smiled and nodded. I blinked continuously to get rid of those traitor tears.

Just then Devdas Uncle...my cousin Prarthana's father and Parvati aunty's husband walked in and asked...

'Are we ready to go Pakku?' and I hesitantly smiled and nodded. My mother's brothers were not in touch with my family every since my mother died. They even refused to come to this wedding when dad invited them and it's an uncle's duty to take a bride to the wedding altar, so Devdas Uncle and Paro aunty will do these rituals. Initially when Dad had told me none of my uncles would join the wedding both me and my sister felt bad. My brother Pranay just shrugged off saying it's for best. He is only 17 but is much more matured than all of us combined at home.

I stood up and took one last look at myself. My heart was beating in my mouth. What was I doing? Should I really do this? Should I maybe back off like my sister did? Is this all worth it???

I had a hundred questions running in my head when Paro aunty simply spoke up...

'You know you can still back off right Pakku? We will still support you!!!' she said but suddenly my eyes fell on the old man smiling and welcoming guests and making relatives sit down, offering them cold drinks and snacks. My eyes filled up again recalling what I had seen approximately 4 hours ago...

'Devdas Bhavaji (brother in law)...I'm doomed.' he said holding Devdas Uncle's shoulders for support and Devdas Uncle made him sit on the plastic chair in the backyard of the wedding hall. With shivering hands and a scared petite form he pushed himself into the chair and covered his wrinkled old face with his palms hiding himself like he didn't want to face the world.

He didn't want to face the truth. My heart was breaking every single time I saw that from the corner of the balcony hiding behind the curtains as I saw him helplessly weak and broken. Never in my life had I seen him like that. And I didn't like to see him like that. No girl would tolerate to see such a heart wrecking scene. After all he was my first super hero. My father.

No daughter can see her father in that state. It killed me from within.

'No No Ananth!!! You have to bring yourself to accept this and please don't worry...I'm still there...I will help you..We can get this sorted...But you must understand that Avanthi isn't happy with this marriage and although it's not the right time but isn't it better that she realised it before the wedding. Imagine if not she would end up with an unhappy marriage... worse a divorce!!!'

And I was shocked. I clutched onto the silver plate holding roses and Gulabdani (Rose water Pomander) in my hands and tried to swallow what I heard. Avanthi denied this wedding??? That too at this nth minute??? Oh my god!!!

'But why are you forgetting my other daughter is also going to get married to their other son next week Devdas Bhavaji...And I don't want Prakruthi to pay for Avanthi 's decisions. You think Nayaks will treat Prakruthi well because of what Avanthi did today??? I am scared what if they cancel the other wedding too??? Just like my Avanthi decided to backoff from marrying Kedar. What if Neel decides to backoff from marrying Prakruthi??? My younger one is not as strong as my elder one Bhavaji...she doesn't talk much...she never expresses grief and tries to keep things within...I'm scared.' and he broke down badly.

The man whom I always saw as a strong individual was broken and crying like a child. I decided to talk to Avanthi. I couldn't understand what happened and why did she deny this wedding at the nth moment. I decided to walk away when I heard Dad say..

'Bhavaji I have took a loan worth 20 lakhs from market for this marriage!!!' and I froze.

'Whattt? But why Ananth? So much money???'

'Whatever money I had...I spent it upon Avanthi and Prakruthi's education. Avanthi wanted to do higher studies and had even got a seat in that prestigious university in Mumbai...least as a father I had to do was manage her daily expenses and shelter and you know how expensive everything in a big city like Mumbai is...and then Pakku got a seat for her engineering counselling in Bangalore. I couldn't do partiality between both my kids Bhavaji...I had always taught them education is a must...and look today both my daughters have a job. Avanthi works for one of world's best banks and Prakruthi just got selected in a campus interview and when both my daughters got proposals from Nayaks household I was so happy thinking my daughters would settle down just like Prarthana or Sanskriti but never did I think everything would mess up like this.

I didn't have a penny left so I borrowed a loan worth 20 lakhs against our home for their marriage...after all I'm a middle class man with a small shop...how can I arrange money within two weeks to get both my daughters married...but now...I feel like everything is finished' and that's when I felt nauseous. We didn't have our home for ourselves anymore? He took a loan against this house???

No!!! This can't happen!!! I have to talk to Avanthi.

'Pakku... shall we go???' my thoughts were disturbed and I was brought back to real time and I nodded.

I slowly took steps outside the room and I could hear hush hush gossips and constant bickering of people. This should be the most beautiful moment for a girl when she enters an altar to marry the man whom she likes but here I was taking steps towards nothingness.

Just while reaching the altar Devdas Uncle lifted me up and placed me like a porcelain doll on the other side of a silk cloth. The priests kept singing hymnes and then the silk cloth between us was removed.

'Now you may make your groom wear the garland' said the priest. The gossips continued, I could hear people chatting, laughing, giggling and I closed my eyes. I had to get used to it.

'Pakku' I heard my father's voice from behind and I nodded. I had chosen this and I couldn't back off. I closed my eyes as dad's words hit my ears...

'You don't need to do this Pakku...I don't want you to fill in for your sister's decisions...this is not a old school uniform that I can pass on from Avanthi to you...You don't need to marry the guy whom she rejected. You don't even know him!!!' Dad said and I said softly

'I agree I don't know Mr Kedar Nayak and he was going to be my brother in law but then why are you forgetting I did not even know Mr Neil Nayak...I just met him twice dad and why are you forgetting that he has also denied from marrying me!!!'

'That doesn't mean you marry Kedar Pakku!!! You haven't even spoken to him...you don't even know him' dad was worried

'Atleast I spoke to Mr Kedar Nayak few minutes ago dad...Mr Neil Nayak didn't even have it in him to come and deny this proposal on my face. He said all this to his sister in law... Mukta Vanni (sister in law)... atleast Mr Kedar Nayak assured to take the responsibility...If he could take responsibility of his brother's decisions...I can also take responsibility of my family and my sister's denial. And come on dad it really doesn't matter... does it???

Whatever I knew about Mr Neil was as much anyone would know about likes or dislikes about a person in a slam book. Atleast Mr Kedar was ready to take up the responsibility. And I think if two people can live together at some point of time they will know about their likes and dislikes...

So you know what dad...let it go as planned. Let Mr Neil be happy with his decisions, let Avanthi be happy with her choices and rest assured I know to adjust! I will manage and I'm sure Mr Kedar will also...maybe... manage!!!' I said while dad looked at me with pity in his eyes and I hate that look.

'Dad please stop feeling bad for me. This marriage didn't ever make sense to me ..it doesn't matter if it's the elder brother or the younger one...I'm not marrying either one out of love. This is just a compromise. Like any other girl would do... That's what most arranged marriages are...' I said and dad looked at me and asked...

'And what about love? You can't cover distances between hearts if you don't even know the other person Amana (sweetheart)' he said with his damp eyes.

I chuckled saying 'I don't know dad...Life is not a Wattpad novel nor a bollywood movie...And you know I don't believe in love!!! And for the distances and understanding...I guess adjustment can bring understanding too...And love...you know It's all a sham for little teenagers to hide their hormonal imbalance...Neither am I a kid nor do I have hormonal issues!!!'

'Pakku... garland Charda(child)' Paro aunty said and I nodded.

I slowly lifted my head up and I went on raising it...up...higher and higher and at one point of time I tilted my head slightly backwards and that's when I heard another bunch of muffled laughter from the audience and that's when it hit me hard.

Distances between hearts can maybe abridged but what do you do of the distances between two people!!!

And that I mean is practical distance between two people!!!

A person who is 5 ft 1 inch and another who is 6 ft 6 inches. I gulped.

When we said yes to each other post that telephonic conversation... little did we think about how we would look together when we accept this exchange offer thanks to our siblings who backed off from this marriage leaving it all to destiny but right now seeing the 'height' of the responsibility that I have to fulfill...Let's accept it...

It looks like a big one.
A huge one.... Or let's say a beastly one!!!

How am I even going to survive this???