We sat at the table in a big dining room of the lake country cottage. Padme wore a beautiful black dress that was strapless and showed quite a bit of skin. She also wore a black collar with a strip of fabric that ran down the front of the dress, but barely covered her cleavage. I  still wore my dark Jedi robe.

The evening sun of Naboo shone through the windows and tacute the room in a golden red. Nandi and Teckla, two young women who worked at the resort, served dinner while I excitedly began to recount some of the adventures I had with Obi Wan, Maven, and Anakin over the past ten years. Padme listened to me attentively.

The dessert was Padme's favorite,yellow and cream shuura fruit,juicy and sweet. She smiled delightedly as Nandi set a bowl of it down in front of her. "Would you like something else to drink,milady?" She asked then Padme. "No thank you, Nandi." Padme replied her politely. Nandi nodded understandingly before she left the room.

 "And when I got to them..." I paused,which secured Padme's complete attention. I smiled at her with a mischievous glint in my eyes. "...we went into aggressive negotiations." I finished my explanation  about a daring adventure  and then thanked  Teckla, who had also served me a bowl of dessert on my plate in front of me. Teckla smiled at me and nodded before she  left the room as well.

A laugh escaped Padme's mouth. "Agressive negotiations. What is that? " She then asked me with interest. "Uh,well, negotiations with a lightsaber." I answered her as I leaned in and a playful grin graced my lips. 

"Oh." Padme laughed again, and then she  set about her dessert in anticipation. The fruit slipped off to the side, however,and Padme's fork just hit the plate. A little confused, Padme stabbed again,only for the dessert moved.

She glanced at me and immediately noticed that I was straining not to laugh, looking down at my plate a little too innocently. "You did this!" I looked up with wide eyes. "What?" I asked her innocently,a twinkle of mischief in my eyes. Padme looked at me suspiciously, pointing the fork at me and motioning it threateningly. Then she suddenly poked at the fruit again. But I subtly moved my hand.

The dessert slid away, and again Padme hit only the plate. Before she could look at me again, however, the fruit had already risen and was now floating in the air in front of her. "That." She replied me. " Stop that!" But she couldn't really be mad at me, and finally she had to laugh out loud. I started to laugh as well.

With her eyes half on me, half on her target, Padme reached for the floating fruit.  I gestured with my fingers, and the fruit began to circle around her hand. "Timothee!" "If Master Obi Wan were here, he'd be very grumby. " I admitted with a mischievous grin on my lips.

My eyes sparkled with satisfaction as I drew my hand back, and the Shuura followed her across the table right in my hand. I set the fruit on my bowl and picked up my silverware to cut the fruit for her.

 "But he's not here. " I added quickly as I expertly cut the fruit into two pieces. Then I let one piece fly back toward Padme with the help of the force. She snatched it out of the air with her fork before she brought it to her lips and took a bite. 

Padme smiled gratefully at me. "Thank you." She said after she had swallowed. I meekly nodded at her. "My pleasure." I replied and grinned at her.

We finished our dessert with many sidelong glances, and when Teckla and Nandi returned to clear the plates, we sat down on a dark red sofa in the next room. 

It was dark in the room, the sun had long since set. The fire place crackled and was the only thing providing light for the two of us. It made Padme's black dress shimmer.

 The waitresses left soon after and now we were both alone, completely alone and there was nothing but silence in the air. I leaned in,and  my lips yearned for a forbidden kiss. 

"Timothee!" Padme laughed softly and shook her head.  "Don't do that."  "Why?" My question came out of my mouth quickly and Padme looked sharply at me. "It's inappropriate. You're a Jedi. You are not allowed to marry. You'd be expelled from the Order. " Padme's expression had changed to a serious one,and I knew she was right. I just didn't want to admit it. 

A sigh left my mouth as I could no longer look her in the eye. "I know." After I finished my words, it became silent again. It was crushing, constricting my throat and leaving me no room to breathe. "From the moment I met you,Padme."I began to say and finally dared to look her in the eye again.

Padme's head turned away from the fire and toward me at my voice."All those years ago." I continued and had to catch my breath,as if I was afraid that it would be stolen from me. "Not a day has gone by when I haven't thought of you or spoke about you. "

I broke eye contact to take a second deep breath. I feared Padme could hear my pounding heartbeat, how fast it was pounding in my chest. My lungs constricted again and I had to pull myself together not to gasp for air.

"And now that I'm with you again, I'm in agony."I looked her in the eye again, but this time Padme was the one who averted her gaze. "The closer I get to you, the worse it gets." My voice raised in despair. Padme sat down differently so that she moved away from me.

"The thought of not being with you makes my stomach turn. I feel hollow. I feel dizzy. I can't breathe. I can't even think clearly. " Tears glistened in my eyes. "I'm haunted by the kiss that you should never have give me. " My voice became husky and my eyes flashed. My gaze bored into Padme's soul and reached for her heart. "My heart is beating, hoping that kiss will not become a scar." One of the tears I had managed so well to hold in my eyes now rolled down my cheek.

"You are in my very my soul." I looked at her again in despair. "And it torments me." I lost myself in her brown eyes, searching for the answer to my questions. "What can I do? I will do anything that you ask." Padme averted her eyes,overwhelmed, and probably found safety in the distracting dance of the flames in the fireplace. The silence became long and uncomfortable.

"If you are suffering as much as I am, please,tell me." I then demanded with a raised voice. Padme turned to me. " I can't" She leaned back and paused for a moment."We can't. "She said as calmly as she could. "It's just not possible." "Anything is possible,Padme." I replied stubbornly and desperately moved closer to her. I couldn't let her go, I couldn't let my heart continue to suffer.

 "Please, just listen to me." "No, you listen." She interrupted me before she stood up from the sofa and walked over to the fireplace. "We live in a real world. Come back to it! You are studying to become a Jedi Knight and I am Senator. If you follow your thoughts to conclusion it'll take us to a place, we cannot go, regardless the way we feel about each other."

"Then you do feel something!" I exlaimed in frustration and yearning and tilted my head."I will not let you give up your future for me. " "You are asking me to be rational. "I replied confidently without hesitation as I stood up from the sofa. Padme took a step back as I walked toward her. "That is something I know I cannot do. Believe me, I wish that I could just wish away my feelings..." I paused for a moment. "...but I can't. " 

"I will not give into this. I have more important things to do than fall in love." Padme said as convincingly as she could. I turned away, hurt. I stared at a point and my face twitched as I tried for a way to overcome the insurmountable obstacles that stood between us. "Well, you know, it wouldn't have to be that way. " I finally said and turned back to her,a quick glimpse of hope flashing in my green eyes.  "We could keep it a secret."

"We'd be living a lie, one we couldn't keep even if we wanted to. My sister saw it. So did my mother.  I couldn't do that. Could you,Timothee? Could you live like that? " Padme asked me. There was chaos in my head. One part was screaming at me to give in and live this life,the other part was reminding me of my morals. 

My preference would have been for both parts to just be quiet. I searched deep in my heart for an answer, and even if every vein, every fiber of my body knew it was against the Jedi Code, I came to a decision."Yes, if I was with you..." I said, averting my eyes to the floor. I suddenly felt a great pain in my chest, as if someone was trying to rip out my heart. "Even if it means that it would destroy us."