"Love demands everything, they say, but my love demands only this: that no matter what happens or how long it takes, you'll keep faith in me, you'll remember who we are, and you'll never feel despair"

~ Ann Brashares

Kookie dragged me by my hand to the sitting place. His hand tightly holding mine... like he'd never let me go... I smiled at the thought. We were here... I don't know which place... but I know we're at the ocean... blue and unlimited.... eternal shades of blue covering my sight. To be more precise... I hope you remember the BTS MV... 'On Stage Prologue'... remember the scene where Sugar hyung and Kookie sat together... a place made of wood and the ocean was under it. The last place they visit in their car....  It is similar to that place, I don't know if it's the same place or a different one, but it looks quite similar. 

"This place is wonderful... it looks better in real life than in the music video" Kookie said to me while dragging me to his favorite spot. 

"Is this the same place? Where you did the shooting?" 

"Hmm" 

That's amazing... I'd like to visit all the locations where they have shot their MVs. All the places look so good. Finally, we arrived at the place that Jungkook wanted to take me. The ocean lied below my feet and ahead of us. This is a breathtaking sight.... I took in the salty-humid air and filled my lungs. I missed this scent... the scent belonging to the oceans. We sat at the place hanging our legs just an inch above the water. No words were exchanged. Both of us looked ahead at the ocean... maybe trying to find words.... Last week was wonderful... full of happiness. After we won the Ballet Championship, hyungs, Nishi, Simmi and Augustin arranged a small party for us. We went to explore the city a bit... I have to say, Florida is beautiful. Unfortunately, we couldn't stay  there for long. We came back to Seoul after a day. Simmi and Nishi are staying with me now. They are at the dorm with the hyungs... we just took an escape. The hyungs were tired practicing for the concert, so, we decided to talk to them and relieve their stress. Jungkook told me that he wants to talk to me regarding some serious issue... I don't know what's that about, but I don't mind spending time with JK anyhow... so, here I am... sitting next to Kookie and looking over at the horizon. 

"Are you sure you love me Noor...?" Kookie delicately held my hand... I looked at him... I didn't expect him to ask this... I've made it clear that I do... then... I kept staring at him... in disbelief. Is something wrong? He held my hand, never letting go of it... all his fingers wrapped around mine... my hand perfectly fitting in his... I didn't move... I was nervous, I feared what he'd say next. I licked my lips and bit it hard... waiting for his next word.

"Noor.... umm... there's something... something I wanted to tell you, but couldn't. I have to say it today... I just have to let it out..." I sat still, listening to every word he said with all my concentration. I could even hear his breathing... which was not sounding normal.... he must be really nervous... I don't know what it is, but I am having a bad feeling about this. He took a deep breathe... a very deep one closing his eyes. After a split second he opened his eyes with a new energy and let it out....

"Noor I am in love!" he said it so fast that it felt like a gush of wind. But it was enough to give me chills... my biggest fear coming to life. I looked at him at the speed of light. My ears quite not believing what they just heard. Our eyes talked to each other silently... there was no way, this could be true. I felt a pain in my chest... it hurts even to hear these words. The pain was cutting through my chest, my heart ripping off. I tore my gaze from his and tolerated the pain. This is my pain, I am the one who needs to tolerate this... live with this. 

"I know you love me... but you know loving someone is out of our control. I wanted to tell this to you before, but I was afraid that you might leave me. I don't want to lose our friendship; believe me it's very precious to me...." he continued his elaboration, I listened carefully to him... to find something hopeful...but there's no hope now. I know I didn't expect anything back from him, but now that he is stating the same thing... this gives me pain. I am sweating... the pain is just getting deeper. There's no way I can control this... I don't want Kookie to see me this weak...  

"Noor...are you okay... what's happening to you? You're sweating" Kookie's voice was filled with concern... I didn't want him to worry for me, but I failed... of course... his sharp eyes miss nothing... 

"Jungkook... my chest.... there's too much pain" saying that I laid there... beside Kookie... crumpling into a ball... my knees touching my chest and my hands holding myself together. 

"Noor! You are having a panic attack! I am so sorry Noor" panic attack? I've never had one. Why now? Whatever it is, I am dying because of the pain. "Noor... take deep breathes, calm yourself down... come on... do it for me Noor. For the sake of my love Noor!" he said in a hurried tone. I tried following his instructions. I took a deep breathe and tried my best to calm myself... Kookie held me tight. After breathing in and out for a few minutes the pain started easing off. I sat up with the help of Jungkook, but didn't let my eyes meet him. My cheeks were filled with warm tears that escaped my eyes because of the pain... the unbearable pain. 

"Are you okay? I am so sorry Noor. I should've known... it's my fault" he hung his head low. It's not his fault though... it's me. I am too weak to hold myself together.... he shouldn't feel guilty.

"Jungkook... look at me... it's not your fault. I have a weak heart. I get emotional very easily... I am a very sensitive person... please don't blame yourself" I said looking into his eyes and keeping both my palms on each his cheeks. He looked at me with those sad eyes... like a lost puppy. He enveloped me in his arms and I just buried my face in his chest inhaling his lavender scent which I missed very badly. I should let him go... after all it's his life... I am not the one to judge him. We stayed in that position for an eternity... my tears falling freely... dripping on his shirt. Neither of us moved even a centimeter. 

"Who's that lucky girl? Who stole my Kookie from me?" I said finally taking my face out of his chest and letting him go. There was too much melancholy in my voice even though I want to not show it... 

"Umm.... it's a surprise for you. I won't tell you who she is... but you'll meet her yourself"

"That'll be great" I said looking over at the ocean to avoid eye contact.

"Can you help me?"

"What kind of help do you want? I'll surely try my best"

"Well... I don't know how to tell her that... I... I love... her... you are very creative... can you give me a good idea?" Kookie was stuttering which was damn cute... 

I thought for a moment keeping my issues aside. I really want him to be happy. Nothing means more than his happiness to me. I had a great idea. That lit up my face.

"I have an idea!"

"You mind telling me?" that made me chuckle. Kookie chuckled with me.

"Of course not. You have your concert tomorrow..."

"So......?"

"You can confess your feelings to her in front of that huge sea of ARMY... with purple and white lights falling on both of you... that'll be so romantic. But you need to tell this to the hyungs first... if you haven't yet...."

"They know about it..." that kinda shocked me. If they knew, then why didn't they tell me... even when they knew about my feelings for Kookie? 

"I told them not to tell you about it because I wanted to tell you myself...." he read my thought yet again... "That's a very good idea... you are a genius Noor Alan! I'll surely follow your idea" this is the first time in forever that he called me by my full name. Somehow, that made my name feel special. 

"How long has it been? When did you meet? How does she looks?" 

"We met in a fan sign event.... the one you came in.... she looks like an angel, I think she's the most beautiful lady in this whole world...." he said dreamily... almost getting lost in her thoughts... I envy that girl... the luckiest girl in the world... 

"She's very lucky. Does she know about me?" I said looking ahead... the sun was setting silently.... the ocean too was very silent.... the waves touching my feet and calming my nerves.

"Of course... why won't she know about my best friend?" 

"Promise me that you won't forget me... even when you get married and have tons of babies" I looked at him for reassurance. He chuckled at I don't know what... but made a serious face and said.

"I promise not to leave you ever" he side-hugged me and I gladly went in his embrace... this feels home... I belong here... not for long though. Someone is going to take my place... but he promised me... I have faith in him. I'll cherish the times I've spent together with Kookie... and there are a lot; at least a lot for me. I know there's no chance for me, but let's just stay happy loving him and seeing him happy from a distance. I buried my face deeper in his muscular chest and inhaled his scent.... this may be the last time that I can share such intimacy with him. I'll miss you Jeon Jungkook!

"Cherry... can I kiss you?" his question caught me off guard; why would he want to kiss me... when he already has someone whom he loves....

"Kookie... why do you even want to kiss.... me?"

"Because kissing you.... is becoming my passion... the last time we kissed, I was crying like a little boy, but that kiss healed my wounds... my pain. Please say yes.... this may become our last kiss...." our last kiss? Like a kiss of goodbye? Kissing me is becoming his passion.... wow... such a beautiful line.... I thought for another moment and decided that I can't resist it.... when he himself is asking me... there's no way I can reject. I gave him a small nod in agreement. 

And..... there we go... as soon as I gave that nod to him, he grabbed my neck with both his hands and brought his lips on mine..... a touch of purity.... I felt pure when his lips touched mine... like all my sins are washing away. My hands traveled to his chest. Our lips moved together in harmony. His hands went down to my waist and then on my back... tingling me on it's way down... the kiss lasted long, burning with passion. It's the first time we shared a passionate kiss. Our breathe became short, mingled together. Neither of us wanted to let go of each other's lips... but we were breathless and were forced to pull out for our lungs to have peace. We were panting. Our hands were still over each other, we didn't had the energy to remove them... A tear escaped my eye... I didn't yet want to let him go... how can I let him go like this? I love him! I love Jeon Jungkook! It's much harder than I thought. He connected his forehead with mine and closed his eyes.... A stream of tears rolled down my cheeks... warm tears filling my face... a few of them landed on my hand... he wiped my tears with his hands... I held his hand which he rested on my cheek and cried uncontrollably. 

"This is wrong Kookie, we shouldn't have done.... this. She'll feel hurt, if she gets to know about this" now I regret it... why didn't I think before? 

"Don't worry about her... she'll completely understand me..."

"Are you sure Jungkook? She won't be mad at you?"

"No Noor.. she won't be" if he says so, I should believe him. She must be a very good and understanding woman... she deserves to have Kookie in her life.... 

We shifted to sit comfortably... so that if anyone spots us then they don't feel like we are doing inappropriate things... it may seem like that from a distance...specially if the media notices us... we sat side by side again and just sat there looking at the ocean... the silence stretched between us... a cool breeze was blowing... cooling my face. It's the first week of March, so, it feels good to have the cool breeze passing. 

"Cherry... are you hundred percent sure that you are coming to our concert tomorrow? I hope you remember that we have got our performance to show 'em. They'll be awestruck!"

"Yeah! How can I miss BTS' concert? Although I am a bit nervous about our performance..."

"Don't be nervous, if you can do ballet with a  strained ankle then, just imagine what you can do with a perfect foot..."

"What if my ankle gets strained again...?"

He didn't give me an answer, instead he just gave me a death glare... he looks so scary like that... is there a hole in here? I just want to hide from those glaring eyes.

"Hey! You are scaring me... stop looking at me like that!" 

"Then stop talking like that! Be positive!" Both me and Jungkookie were yelling at each other... After a while, I was feeling shy all of a sudden to look in his eyes... I don't know why I was shy out of the blue... so, I looked down at the water and said in a small voice...

"Okay..." 

"You look so cute... when you are shy!" he noticed? Why? He shouldn't have... ah~ 

"Stop it Kookie!" even though I shouted at him, I couldn't stop my smile... and I am sure that my cheeks would've turned scarlet... Kookie pinched my cheeks softly, suddenly reminding me of the time we first met, the first time our eyes looked at each other... the first time his hands touched mine... the first BTS fan sign I went to.... I can never forget that day. We have came a long way... it was meaningful spending all this time with him and the loving hyungs... I don't ever want to leave them... I want to stay with them forever... But that's not possible now... I exhaled a deep sigh and looked over at the setting sun... along with the sun all my hopes and wishes left me. I was left in despair. 

Author's Note:

Readers, did you read what Jungkookie said? Well, if you did... then you read just right. That's the truth; 'It's my fate... hu ah" (Jin hyung's line from Awake). Not every time we get what we desire, the same case is with Noor. I understand Kookie is caring and he wants to protect Noor from every trouble, but that doesn't always mean that he wants her as his life-partner. That's where we go wrong, we always see such care and love from our opposite gender or someone we love as a sign of some building of a special relationship. It's not that we cannot love someone as a friend, brother or sister or in any other way. Love exists in every relationship, but what we need for the love to continue is trust and loyalty. Love doesn't only means that it can exist between two opposite sex. Love is a universal language; it exists between those who believe it... who believe in the power of love and have faith in each other.

Okay, enough of philosophy, although I actually mean it and believe it. Let's come back to 'DESTINY'. I think Noor has accepted her destiny. There's no way she can change it because Jungkook doesn't want to. Sometimes all you can do is to accept what life has in store for you. So, I think it's already time to say goodbye to my readers and supporters. Thank you for supporting me and 'DESTINY'. I am grateful to all of you. Don't worry, there will be an epilogue, so, count on it. 

Happy Reading Everyone : )