~Life is hard as fuck sometimes. That's why some people give up at her~

•••

     Chaos. Mind full with useless thoughts.
     Fear. Feet kinda numb. 
     Tears. A broken heart and an destroyed soul.

     This is Jungkook's state at the moment. He is alone— in his own house— with the door locked, crying the shit out of him. Sitting in a corner of the room, his clothes thrown all over the floor in a fit of rage, his hands around his head and his knees in front of his face, the curvy haired-boy sobs, feeling emptier than ever felt before. A voice which was silent in the past few weeks becomes louder and louder again, telling him how worthless, unlucky and stupid he is. This voice in his mind repeates to him again and again what Jungkook had always tried to avoid — the fact that he would have the same fate as his parents, and the fact that he doesn't deserve happiness at all.

      And if before to meet Taehyung, the curvy haired-boy wanted to die as fast as he can— to not keeps shadow to the Earth useless  anymore— now, at the moment, he feels more than just miserable. Why? Because he felt how beautiful love can be. He got to feels how higher he can fly, when is with the boy he loves. He came to touch that light which he had involuntarily sought for some time, every time he heard the laughter of Taehyung, or Yoonghyo.

       And now... now he just wants to be alone, with his own stupid and pathetic ass. He can't keep Taehyung under the pain which will come because of the illness. That's why he ran away, that's why he did something he never thought from the moment he felt in love— to broke up with his boyfriend. He couldn't put Taehyung in the position he was in, not so long ago.

      Maybe people will consider him an idiot because he didn't even want to try the treatment. That's probably true. Most will probably consider him a fool as well, because he pushed Taehyung aside, right now, when he needs him most. And this is more than true. But those people, don't know anything. They don't know how hard it is for someone to look at how the person they love so much is struggling to breathe, to live, and to feel more than useless. They have no idea how many tears that person will have to shed on their cheeks, seeing how much their loved one is fighting for their own life.

     But he knows. He knows very well how painful can this be, that's why he can't let Taehyung to feel this pain. He can't let him to be by his side now, even if he wants this more than anything. He... he can't be selfish. He can't accept what his boyf— what his ex boyfriend wants. He can't accept the treatment or the operation. Why? Because it's fucking useless, even if doesn't look so!

     His dad had the treatment more than two years. He had a lot of operations as well. His mother, guess what? Same. And what happened to them?

     Bingo. They died. And it's not like death is something abnormal, or something that will not happen to everyone. But both of the died way too earlier, even if they had a treatment, or a lot of operations. So what's the point? He will die eventually.

     He is fated to die at such a earlier age. Yeah, it's sucks. But life is sucks all the time. Nothing is fair in this world, not to talk about free. You want to be happy? Sure, but you have to pay a price first. You don't like the pain? Sorry, you can't let her go, and you have to get through it. Not matter how hard it is, you can't give up. Not because it's stupid, but because you don't have any other choice. You have to get all the time in the storm, even if you don't have an umbrella or something.

     But be can't bring Taehyung in his storm. He must to protect him somehow, even if this mean to hurt him first. He has Yoonhyo as well. He can't be with Jungkook when the cancer will kill him slowly, day by day. He cannot be there when the pain becomes so great that not even all the screams will be helpful. He cannot destroy him, while he will be destroyed.

      "I- I... hate this." his voice is weak and lifeless, while his hands trembling.

      He is not even sure why he's crying right now. Because he hurt the boy he loves so much? Because he ran like a coward? Or maybe because he hadn't even seen Yoonhyo before to go? Probably because of one of those options, since he doesn't cry because of the slap that he received, or because he is the sick one.

      The palm that Taehyung gave him only hurt for a moment, but what Jungkook said will take much longer. Jungkook doesn't really blame him for that, he can realize how hard it must be for Taehyung now.

     "Woah... I really thought I can be happy." he whispers again in the silence of the room, then takes his phone out from his pocket.

    16 missed calls from Taehyung, and over than 20 message from him.

      "M'sorry." the doll eyed-boy mumbles, feeling his chest full with guilt, sadness, and desperation.

      The older one must be worried sick at the moment, but the younger one can't help.

     God, how much he wants to talk with Taehyung! How much he wants to apologize to him, to hug him! To kiss him! He needs him, especially now.

     But no. He can not do this. He can't do this, because he'll only hurt the other one later. He needs to keep him as far away as possible, because otherwise they will both suffer. And Jungkook doesn't want this.

     When you love someone, you are ready to sacrifice your own comforter and happiness for the person you love. And yeah, the bunny boy is ready to gives up to his own life, for Taehyung— literally.

***

      "Now can you tell me what are you doing here?" Taehyung's deep voice makes the woman to flinch a little, then she moves his gaze to the man.

       "I... I wanted to ask you something." she mumbles under his breath, starting to play with her fingers.

      Taehyung gets up from the sofa, then chuckles frustrated. If the problem with Jungkook wasn't enough, now he can tell for sure, that this day is really cursed it!

     "Have you thought about coming back to my life after seven years to ask me a favor? Aren't you really ashamed?" the man asks,  feeling nothing but just angry.

     He thought that when he will see his ex-wife again, he would feel much. But no. He doesn't longer feels the warmth he used to feel every time he saw her. He just wants to finish all this crap, and to ran after his boyfriend. He kept calling and messaging him, but in vain, Jungkook didn't answered even once! Not even fucking one-time, for God sake! And the CEO is freaking out at the moment. 

      "I... I know what I did can't be forgiven, Tae." the woman's voice snaps out the other one from his worries, then she gets up at his turn from the chair. "I just... I didn't had any other choice." she continues, and Taehyung just glance at her, trying his best to not yells like he wants.

       He just needs to finish with her. As fast as he can. Besides Jungkook, he worries about his son as well. What will happen if Namjoon will come home with Yoonhyo, and she will be still here? No... this will be too much for his lil tiger.

      "Lisa, I will never forgive you. What you did is really something... cruel." the man begins, while the woman just looks ashamed at the floor. "You left me, but this is not the worst part. You left your own son, Lisa. How can a mother be so... so heartless?" he asks after, and the woman nods, some tears escaping from her eyes.

     Yeah, she knows. She knows that mistake can not be forgiven. And the fact that Taehyung doesn't even slap her, or maybe... yells at her, makes her to feel even more pathetic and ashamed of herself. But she didn't had any option. She need to asks his ex boyfriend, his ex husband, a last favor, even if she doesn't deserve it at all.

      "I... I know. I was a bad wife, and even a bad mom. I- I... I am so sorry, Tae. Believe me, I was just... I couldn't pretend anymore that everything is like... used to be." she stutters and the other one just rolls his eyes, more annoyed than anything else.

     "Lisa, I don't care anymore about you. Maybe it sounds harsh, but your apologizes are nothing than just useless words for me." the man comments at his turn, looking in the woman's eyes. "Get to the point, tell me why you came. I have some personal issues to deal with and I don't have time for your unnecessary apologies. " he continues and Lisa nods, wiping some tears from her face.

      Yeah, Taehyung knows he is rude. He knows he shouldn't talk like this with a woman , especially since she was his first love, and more than that, the woman which gave birth to his Yoonhyo. But he can't help. He really can't. She brought him a lot of pain as well. He can't pretend he forgot everything.

       "I... I have another son." this sentence catches the CEO by surprised, then he looks at her intently. "After I ran away ... I went to America and there I met Henri.  Our... Our son, Michael, has four years old." she comments after and the other one asks himself how is even possible to not feel bother at all to something.

     "So? What I have to do with this?" he asks, starting to lose his last drop of patience.

     His mind is still at Jungkook. His heart is still aching because of what happened with an hour ago.

     "My husband's company went bankrupt, Tae, and my son needs surgery. I... You know I don't have good relations with my family, and Henri is orphan, so I... I need your help." she admits, while other tears start streaming down her face.

     Oh, so she needs money, that's why she is here. Taehyung feels relieved somehow. Maybe she wasn't a good mother for Yoonhyo, but judging over her state as the moment, maybe is a better one for Michael. After all, that poor boy doesn't have any fault in all this mess.

      "A surgery?" he asks and she nods instantly.

      "He has problems with his heart. He... he had other three surgeries until now, but he must to have another one." she explains, while the other one just looks at her, completely silent for a few seconds.

      "And your husband? He agreed to be here, begging your ex husband?" Taehyung asks, tone somehow sarcastic, taking after his phone from the pocket.

      Luckily, the phone still work, even after what happened not long time ago.

      "No, he doesn't even now I came back in Korea. I was just... desperate." she confess and Taehyung chuckles again.

     He really doesn't have much until he will lose his last neuron. This woman— the one which left his new born baby— came back to asks money, for her other's kid? Yeah, Taehyung can tell for sure. She changed. She forgot about him, but it's fine. He also left all his past behind, and he doesn't have any intention to bring him in the present.

     His present and his future contain two names: Yonhyoo and Jungkook. And he will fight for both, no matter what will happen.

     And even if Lisa made him to suffer a lot, even if she left him and her own son, Taehyung can't hate that innocent little boy. In addition, the sooner he finishes, the sooner he can leave for Jungkook.

      "How much do you want?"

_______

New chapter! Kinda boring and too fast everything, but yeah, I want to finish this book as fast as I can:))))

I liked a little bit the first part hehe')

What do u think about Jungkook's decision?👀