EMMA

Taking a ride with him wasn't what I planned but it wasn't something I regretted. The drive to Brooklyn was overall a good one sans the last awkward moment. But one thing was sure, if he agreed to this dinner invite, there would be more than just that awkward moment. There would be moments that I might regret. And that wasn't something I wanted.

"What kind of colleague drives a car that expensive?" Sophie looked at him and then at me. Her mouth was wide open in a grin. "The rich kind." I rolled my eyes.

"The rich as in the CEO kind?"

"Stop before you start fantasizing stuff." I glared at her. "Go back in."

"Relax." Sophie winked at me. "It's not like I am setting you up... Well, not yet." She giggled and walked in. One of the reasons I don't want my boss under the same roof as my family. Sometimes, they could be too much. Especially, Sophie, who had been trying her best to set me up with one of her friend's brothers or her high school teachers. We even fought on that but still, she was stubborn to find the love of my life.

Sorry! This heart had loved enough for a lifetime.

Mom and Elliot were already inside the house while I stood there, watching them. Praying that he'd drive away. I watched as my father said something to my boss, who was now standing in front of his car. Edan said something and then shook his head. Maybe he was turning down his offer. I did hope that was the case. After all, he did tell me he had a meeting here.

My dad looked back at me and then said something to him. I wished they could talk a little louder because all I could hear were stifled voices. Edan looked at me and then his lips curled up in a smile. Something in my stomach knotted and it wasn't like I was seeing him smile for the first time or I was seeing his smile for the first time. A smile that somehow felt warm even under the darkness of the cloudy November night. The only thing illuminating his handsome face were the porch lights but they were enough to rev up my nerves, with his searing gaze and that sinister smile.

I hated how my body was reacting to his simple gestures. There wasn't anything out of the ordinary there. People smile, people laugh, people look. That's what everyone does. Then why his actions seemed to be so different, so weird and so affecting?

Damn it!

I turned around and went into the house. I couldn't wait for more there. I had enough of my boss for one day. I think I might even have an overdose. That explains the racing heart in my chest and my short breaths.

I walked into the kitchen where my mom was taking lasagne out of the oven. I inhaled a deep breath. "Dinners ready in five." She smiled at me and I nodded. "Elliot! Stop running around. You'll get hurt again!" Mom yelled as Elliot ran past the kitchen and into the living room.

I smiled. I missed this. I missed my mom's cooking. I missed Elliot running around the house with his new toys or hiding his snacks. I missed Sophie's fangirling over some new boy band. I missed my dad's complaints about poor grades in his class. I missed home. Those simple things which I found annoying became everything I started to miss. Although this place held the darkest memories of my mind and the most dreadful years of my life, it also held the warmth and the love of a family. A thing that kept me alive through all those years.

Our house wasn't that grand but it wasn't that small as well. The lower portion of the house had a living room followed by an open kitchen and then a dining room right in front. The side door in the kitchen led to the small garden in the back and a study room was located right beside the stairs. The upper portion had our rooms followed by a guest room right at the end of the hallway just beside Elliot's room. My parents were both professors in a local college and they earned enough to give us a perfect happy life. Or at least they tried to. But sometimes, things just couldn't be controlled. Not by money. Not by parents. Not by anyone. Those things were what we called life. Uncontrollable things that affect you for eternity and scar you forever. Sometimes they are good but most of the time, they are just vile.

"Make room for one more!" Dad called from the living room and my heart stopped.

No!

Sophie's eyes caught mine and she grinned. "Awesome!"

No! Not awesome!

"What a pleasant surprise." My mom smiled at someone who was apparently standing behind me.

No! Not a pleasant surprise!

"Who's that?" Elliot stopped in front of me and looked at me. I shook my head. "No one."

Or not the one to belong here.

"I am Edan," he said casually. "It's nice to meet you." I didn't know he could speak casually. I thought all his voice knew was the cold authoritative tune or the deep husky tune. Nice to meet you? I bet I was hearing that for the first time. He never even greet the directors like that.

"It's a pleasure, Edan." My mom smiled and walked past me. "It's been ages since Emma last brought someone." And here we go. "I don't know why she was shy and didn't want us to meet you."

I wasn't shy. I was reluctant. Who in the right mind would want her boss to meet her parents? I didn't even know this guy. It was just two weeks since I started working for him.

"If you'll excuse me. I'll like to freshen up a bit." I turned around and without glancing at him, I walked past the living room and up the stairs. I closed my bedroom door and resting my back against the door, I let out a pent-up breath. Why did he agree? He should have been gone by now. According to him, he should have been in a meeting and not here.

I took my phone out of the purse and typed in a quick message.

Mr. Wilton. Don't you have an important meeting to attend?

His reply came a minute later.

Mr. Wilton? I like the progress, sweetheart.

If my phone had a face to show every message, I was sure it would have been smirking now. Fine then.

Must have been a mistake. What the hell are you doing here, Jerk?

Better?

My lips turned up in a sneer as I sent the reply. I don't know why I even decided to show him the respect he didn't want.

Now that's more like my feisty little kitten.

His text came a second later. Warm crept up my neck and on my face. What the hell!? I don't know why he'd been calling me kitten. But I knew one thing, I hated it as much as sweetheart. Maybe even more than that.

I typed in a quick message.

You know what would be more like my jerkface boss? You in a meeting rather than here.

Maybe I should write my jerkface little boss. Just like he wrote. But little? I could write all words for him but little is one thing he was not. Not with those broad shoulders, perfect solid chest, and strong arms. I pressed send without making any changes. I waited while holding my phone and still standing against my door. 1 minute passed then 2 and followed by 5. No reply.

What the hell was he doing? His replies were quick before and now he went on a complete silence. Wait... What if my family is the one doing something? Shit! I shouldn't have left him with them. I walked out of my room and down the stairs. What if they were asking him questions? About him. About us. Or worse. What if they were telling him about me?

No!

Panic started to build inside me with every step I took. I knew my parents wouldn't be telling him about my messed-up past but what about my childhood parts? Isn't that what parents do? They just couldn't wait to show someone your little pictures because either they are too proud of their child or they are too proud of their photography skills.

I didn't want him to see any of that. With pictures comes stories and that's the least I wanted him to know. I didn't want him to know any of my stories. Not even the good ones or the bad ones. Because stories lead to thoughts. The more you hear about the person, the more you wonder. And those thoughts eventually turn into curiosity. A thing I don't ever want to be a part of. Even in the slightest one.

"Oh, Emma! We were about to call you." Dad said as I entered the dining room. "Dinner's ready."

Dad was already sitting at the dining table followed by Elliot and Sophie and my eyes scanned around the room. Edan wasn't here. Did he leave?

"He went to the guest room to freshen up," Sophie answered. Her lips tugged up in a smile as if she knew what I was thinking or who I was searching for.

"I didn't ask," I muttered. I didn't see him on my way here so he must have been already up there in the guest room.

I moved towards the dining table and glanced at the chairs around it. There were three left. One beside Elliot and Sophie and two beside my Dad. I didn't trust my treacherous body enough to sit beside Edan or in front of him. I came here to act strong, smile big and show how I changed for the better, and for that, I needed control of my nerves and my emotions. Sitting close to him would only tangle them up. I wanted to be as far away from him as possible. So, I sat right beside Sophie and opposite my Dad.

First step: done.

Sorry, Mr. Wilton. You'll just have to sit beside my parents.

Now, the only thing I need to figure out was how to get past this family dinner without any discussions or questions. A step that was going to be hard.

My eyes darted up as he entered. His black suit jacket was nowhere to be found and the white shirt clung on his body like it's been sewn right on him. He looked different from before. His tie was no longer around his neck. He had his top two buttons opened up and then those rolled-up sleeves just below his elbows added more to his new look. He looked more rugged and relaxed. And I hate to admit, he might even be looking handsome. His eyes locked in mine as he stood close to the dining table and I instantly averted my eyes down to the plates in front.

"Oh, you can sit here!" On hearing the words, I looked at Sophie who was sitting right next to me.

"Sophie." I grabbed her hand below the table, stopping her. My eyes glared at her and she only grinned in return. "You're welcome," she whispered, and freeing her from my hold, she walked around Elliot and sat right where Edan was supposed to sit.

First step, undone.

All thanks to my brat sister.

I inhaled a breath and composed myself. I couldn't let my resolve slip. I need to be strong, act strong.

You need to smile, Emma.

I curled up my lips in a smile. A sweet perfect smile. A fake smile.

It's time to act your part, dear guise.

I lifted my head and straightened my body.

Let's do this.

Edan sat right beside me and I didn't miss how his body slightly brushed my arm. But I didn't react. Or at least I tried to. I pour cold water into the glass and bringing it to my lips, I gulped it down.

Better.

After everyone settled down, the dinner finally started and I was surprised how half of it went without much discussion. Other than some praise for my mom's cooking and my parents asking my rich boss how was it, everything seemed normal. Too normal that it was starting to terrify me.

"Oh, honey! Emma has some news to share." My mom said to my father and then looked at me. I knew what she meant by that. It was the reason I was here in the first place. But how did they expect me to tell them about my new job whilst sitting here right beside the jerk who was responsible for trapping me in that said job? How was I supposed to feign excitement and hatred at the same time?

"Emma, tell him." My mom asserted.

"I got a job." I smiled. "Not the one I wanted but everyone starts somewhere." I decided to go down the middle path. Excitement laced with disappointment.

"That's great! And you are right, but at least you got your starting point. Your changing point," my dad held my hand on the table. "And for that, congratulations!" He gently squeezed my hand and a warm feeling travelled in my chest. I don't know why but whenever my father holds me, assures me, or compliments me, it makes me emotional. It's like he was proud of my little accomplishments which I didn't even consider good enough.

"Thanks." I bit my inner cheek to prevent the sudden rush of emotions.

"So what job it is? Where do you work?" My dad drew his hand back and I did the same. "It's a starting position as a secretary at Wilton's Co." I replied. My eyes all this time were on my unfinished food or my parents. I didn't even want to look at my side. His presence was already enough to mess up my mind.

"Wilton's Co." My dad muttered the name as if remembering something. "Isn't it owned by Arthur Wilton?" I nodded and a smile formed on his lips. "I knew he would turn up to be a great businessman."

"Do you know him?" This time I wasn't the one to question him. It was the presence beside me.

"Of course! We were together in high school. A great friend of mine." My dad smiled while reminiscing those old days. "He went for business studies and almost convinced me too. But I was more interested in teaching."

"You never told us before," I interjected. The shock was evident in my voice. Did my father know Edan as well? Did he invite him because of that?

"The last time I met him was at my wedding. We kind of lost contact after that. He climbed up the business world and I got too engrossed in my life." Dad sighed and then looked at Edan. "You are a lot like him. Well, other than your hair. Your father had blonde hair but those eyes and that face, it's like Arthur is here but dyed his hair black." My dad chuckled.

My dad knew all along who he was. Here, I was thinking of another lie to cover up and he already knew the truth. Was the world always this small? How the hell I ended up here out of all the other places?

"Is he still the CEO?" My mom joined in the conversation and a part of me wanted to say yes.

"He resigned a year ago," Edan answered. "I run the company now." I didn't miss that arrogant touch to his voice. Just like how it was the very first day we met.

"I hope he has more time now. Tell your father, his old friend would love to meet him."

"I surely will," Edan replied.

"So..." Sophie started and my eyes instantly went to hers. I knew what was coming. She was going to ask some weird questions. That's how she always starts her conversations. I could see that glint in her eyes, the one she has when she tries to put the pieces together and come up with the big reveal. The conclusion. I never minded that until now... Because my mind knew that tonight's big reveal's stars were Edan and me and soon my love life.

"Edan," she said his name, and I glared at her, clearly trying my best to stop whatever was about to roll down that damn tongue of hers. I knew it was absurd of me to think I could hide the fact that my boss was sitting beside me, especially not after Dad's big revelation, but I knew Sophie, she was too curious for her own good and sometimes, she drags me into it too. Her eyes stared back into mine and she grinned.

"So my sister here works for you?" She questioned and he nodded. "So you are his boss?" I knew exactly where she was going with all of her questions and I didn't like it one bit.

"Sophie." I hissed not caring that my jerk boss could easily hear it. All I wanted to stop was my little sister's further questions which will eventually lead to her trying to play the cupid. And now, she was ignoring my death stare.

Great!

"Yes," Edan said while sipping his wine. I think I noticed a touch of a smile in his voice.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" She asked and I think I felt Edan choke on his wine on this sudden question.

"Sophie." My mom said before I could stop her. "Let him eat in peace."

I let out a sigh. Thanks, Mom. Sophie shrugged and took a bite. Edan coughed a little but he didn't say anything.

"But you are single. Right?" Mom said the next minute and this time I choked on my bite. I gulped down the water to ease up the burn in my throat.

"Mom!" I muttered recovering from my coughs. Seeing how Edan was taking his time to reply to this particular question, I was sure he was regretting being here. "Can we just eat in peace?" I looked at her with pleading eyes. I knew I shouldn't have really expected her to stop Sophie. After all, Sophie had more of my mom's personality than my dad's. She was an exact copy of Mom, from her blonde hair to grey eyes to her optimistic and curious personality.

"I was just curious." She shrugged just like Sophie and smiled at me. "After all, you did bring a guy home after five years."

My heart clenched at the thought of it and I fisted my hands beneath the table.

"Well, technically Dad brought him not me," I said, trying my best to not break. Not in front of them. Not in front of him.

"We couldn't just let him leave without thanking him." My mom smiled, looking at me, and then turned her attention to him. "So are you in a relationship?"

And I knew she won't be leaving this topic soon.

"Yes. He is." I smiled back at my mom, hoping to just end this. "Her name is Taylor Seville and she often visits him." I don't know why I said that name. My tongue just rolled down on its own. I could sense his gaze penetrating at the side of my skull and something in me told me, he wasn't happy with what I said.

"Do you?" This time my dad questioned. What's with this family? Were they that desperate to set me up with someone and let alone my boss?

"Ye-"

"No! I think Miss James is mistaken here." Edan placed a hand on my leg and my body stiffened. What the fuck was he doing? This time, I turned my face and looked at him. "Miss Seville is just an employee and nothing more." He looked at my dad. How could he be so composed while I felt like my nerves were about to jump out of my body? He gently squeezed my thigh and it felt more like a warning. Stop. His touch whispered against my skin.

Jerk!

"So you are single. Right?" Sophie grinned.

"Very much," he smiled and I hated that. I jerked my leg away from his hold and scooted a bit away. Not too much to make my parents notice but enough to stop his hand from touching me.

"Oh, Emma is single too. You can date her. You have my approval." Sophie quipped and my eyes widened.

"Sophie!" I grumbled. "Stop!"

"What?" She looked at me with her innocent grey eyes like she didn't do anything. "Don't play innocent with me." I glared at her and I could tell Edan was smirking right now, enjoying every moment of it. I looked at my parents. My mom had a smile on her lips and dad just shrugged her shoulders. I swear I won't be coming back here. At least not for a year. I quickly grabbed a glass of water and gulped it down to lessen the heat in my cheeks.

Could things get any worse?

"Sophie, behave." My mom said, trying her best to hide her smile. Not working, Mom!

"Are you Emma's boyfriend?" Elliot spoke for the first time. Seriously! What's wrong with this family?

"No!" I looked at Elliot who stared back at me innocently. "Good. I don't like him," he pouted. My parents chuckled and a smile broke on my lips for the first time since the conversation started. "I am glad you don't," I whispered loud enough for my boss to hear. At least I had one person at my side. Edan turned towards him. "What do you like, buddy?" He asked and Elliot placed a finger on his cheek as if thinking deeply. "Ice cream!" His eyes gleamed and Edan chuckled. "Should we go out and have one?" Elliot nodded.

"Can I?" Edan looked at my parents for permission and I looked at them too. No way they would let someone - whom they met just a few hours ago - take their child out on a ride.

"Sure." My dad smiled. What? Right! I forgot. Just because he turned out to be the son of his past friend, he became surprisingly more trusting.

"Sophie! Would you like to come?"

"In that car? Hell, yeah!" Sophie stood up from his seat and followed Elliot out of the room. Was I the only one here who was opposed to that idea? Was I the only one being a bit mature?

"Would you?" He asked me and I shook my head. "I hate ice cream."

"Since when?" My mom rose her eyebrows.

"Since now." It was not the ice cream I hated, it was the feeling I get when I was with him. He shouldn't have been here, to begin with.

"Come!" Elliot came back jumping on his feet and dragged Edan out of the room before he could say something.

Thankfully, my parents didn't say anything afterward and I helped my mom clean up. I was loading the dishes in the dishwasher when my mom came and stood beside me. "Emma," she paused and looked at me. "Be easy on him." I knew to whom he was referring.

"Mom! He's my boss. I work for him. He shouldn't have been here in the first place."

"And yet he is here. With you."

"He had a meeting." I retorted.

"Then why is he here?" She asked and I opened my mouth but closed it. I don't know. I had been asking the same question for the past two hours.

"Emma! My sweet child." Mom grabbed my hands and gently squeezed them. "Because he wanted to. I don't know whether he really had a meeting or he lied. But I knew one thing. He's here because of you."

"Mom-"

"Give him a chance, sweetie. He seems like a good guy." My mom smiled at me and I gritted my teeth. "So did Den. But was he the good guy? No! He made me what I am today. You know what he turned me into."

"Emma! Stop punishing yourself. It wasn't your fault." My mom held my cheek and I shook my head. "Then why was I the only one who suffered?" Why was I suffering while he was probably across the world enjoying his life. My voice was on the verge of breaking and it took every willpower in me to stop it.

"You are strong." My mom coaxed.

I was not... I was a pathetic being who couldn't forget how the first guy I ever loved and trusted broke me. He ruined me to the point where I couldn't return.

"Forget about him. Forget about that night. Look up. Look at what's in front of you." I bit my bottom lip to stop myself from breaking in front of her. How was I supposed to trust someone again? How was I supposed to give my heart to someone when it was already lying there broken? How was I supposed to look up when my soul lay down all shattered, bleeding? But I didn't say any of these words. Instead, I nodded and I smiled.

"I will try." My heart ached in my chest and I hid it beneath a lie. My voice on the verge of cracking but I hid it behind my fake smile.

"You deserve all the happiness, Emma." Mom patted my face.

I wish.

"Mom!" Elliot ran into the kitchen. "Look what I got!" He grinned and my mom walked to him. When did they return? I wasn't ready to face anyone let alone Edan. I needed some time alone. I headed through the small door and into the back garden. As soon as the darkness enveloped me, my resolve went crashing down its walls. I bit my lip as tears rolled down my cheeks.

I have been composing myself since I stepped into this house. I tried my best not to remember those days or him but what my mom said, made this all difficult. She was wrong. They were all wrong. Edan was not what they think. He's not here because of me. He's not the good guy. He's just a guy lucky enough to be born with the perfect looks and the perfect life. He was a businessman and businessmen knew their cards. They knew how to please people and wasn't that what he was doing? He had some ulterior motive behind his every step. All businessmen play for their advantage. I just didn't know what could I possibly offer him. What good can he get from me?

"Miss James." I was jolted by his sudden voice. I wiped down my tears but didn't look at him. What was he doing here? I didn't hear anyone coming out. How did he know I was here? I turned to the other side, trying to hide my face. Although it was dark enough but still I didn't want him to see me like this. He had already seen enough of my weak moments and I didn't want another up that list.

"Are you okay?" His words shocked me. Again, those three words. I hated them.

I nodded. I didn't say anything, afraid that my voice might break. I tried to hold back the fresh stream of tears that were ready to fall down my cheeks. But no. Not now. Not in front of him. I had to put my emotions under control.

"Emma." He stepped closer, his voice a gentle whisper and I hated how it cleaved right through my chest and into my heart. I took a step back. He shouldn't be here.

Leave.

"Are you okay?" He asked again and something in my chest flipped. Why was he asking it again? Last time, he only asked once and believed it. Was he not convinced?

I took in a deep breath, gathering the remanent of my resolute. "Yes." I lied. Once again. Praying he'd believe it and leave me.

Please, leave.

"I'll ask again, Kitten." He took another step and now he stood right in front of me. "And I'll keep asking." He gently held my chin and lift my face. My eyes widened and despite the cloudy dark night, I could see those blue eyes of his. Piercing through my walls, through my resolve, and right into my wounded soul.

Stop!

"Are you okay?" He whispered emphasizing each word and this time, a sob escaped my lips. I hung my head low and slowly shook my head. I was tired. Tired and tired of pretending. Exhausted from making others believe that I was strong when the reality was completely different. I covered my mouth with my hand trying to muffle my cries.

"Kitten," he whispered as his arms wrapped around me and he pulled me in a warm embrace. His warm embrace.

"Let it go." He kissed on top of my head and I hated how his hold made me weak. I hated how his touch comforted me. And I hated how much I liked it.

"I got you, Kitten." And there, all walls came crumbling down. All of the pent-up emotions, all of the lies, all of the fake smiles. My make-believe strong demeanor, my confident happy guise. Everything came crashing down leaving me vulnerable. The tears that I had been holding back managed to escape right through the cracks of my walls and right down my cheeks. I bit my lower lip to control them but it was of no use now. I let everything go. I cried as those five years swirled through my mind.

That love.

That betrayal.

That night.

That heartbreak.

*******************************

My apologies for the delay...

Here's a long chapter for you.

Let me know what you think. Your comments are my fuel to write.

Love,
Anna.