'Oh what an ill fate it was that has made me love that man.'
-Iris Murdoch
***

Bhaddaiyan Raj,
India, 1854;

"A princess. She is a bloody princess!"

Geoffrey looked up at a pacing Peter, momentarily distracted from his own shock at the discovery.

The memory of that afternoon had been repeating before his eyes for hours, rendering him unable to concentrate on much else.

Peter rubbed his hands over his face, unsuccessfully attempting to calm himself.

"Have you seen her brother? He looked at us like he wanted to murder us- for simply talking to her! Imagine what he'd do to me, if he found out that I harassed his sister! What was she doing there anyway? At that improbable time of the night; that too without a chaperon?"

Geoffrey blew out a puff of breath. He had no words to console his agitated companion.

Peter came to sit beside him on the settee, leaning his head back to look at the ceiling,

"I'm fucked."

Geoffrey turned to face him, making sure to hide his own pessimism.

"There is no need to get so worked up. Judging by the situation, she hasn't yet disclosed that incident to anyone."

Peter's eyes scrunched with disbelief.

"How can you be so optimistic right now? Our being here is enough of an impetus for her to open her mouth. She would never be alright with having us in the palace... God!"

His words forced Geoffrey to reconsider his claim.
Of course, she wouldn't have expected them to be here.

What if she feels threatened?

Their entire mission could land in some serious jeopardy.

Moreover, the thought of her discomfort, on account of their stupidity, did not sit well with him.

"There is not much that we can do in this regard, Peter. We both know that approaching her now would be tomfoolery; especially with her brother and his guards constantly breathing down our necks."

Peter's downcast face, lifted for a second.

"What if we are able to secure an opening- an opportunity to clear this misunderstanding?"

Geoffrey doubted the odds of getting such a chance anytime soon.

"I hope we do. At the moment however, we should get back to planning our search survey for the suitable land."
______________________________________

Saya recalled the occurrence of that afternoon with apprehension.
The shock of seeing the two men in the Palace, had still not abated.

Gayatri and Uma, concerned at her unusual behaviour ever since, had been busy badgering her with questions.
But there was not much she could tell them, without disclosing the incident of last night- something she wasn't inclined to do, considering their tendency to worry about even the most trifling matters.

She just hoped that the men, for their own sake, were prudent enough to not say anything to her brother.

"Saya?"

Uma's concerned voice brought Saya out of her reverie.

"Yes? What is it?"

Uma clicked her tongue in annoyance as she stood before her, with her hands held at her hips.

"Look at you! All lost in thought, with that wretched expression. Would you tell me what's wrong?"

Saya sighed, before moving to the balcony facing the gardens.

"I told you, Uma. It is nothing."

Uma did not wait to contradict her.

"You have been the same since you saw those firangis. Are you perhaps, nervous by their arrival? If you are, then I can understand."

Saya twirled to face her with alarm, fearing that she had finally managed tk suspect something.

"Why would I be nervous?"

Uma raised her brows in confusion.

"Who wouldn't be? They seldom bring good news wherever they go. Haven't you heard of what they did in Udaipur? They unseated the King and employed their own rule. Such treacherous people, I tell you! Their coming here is a bad omen, Saya."

Saya felt her heart thud in her chest. Uma's words brought forth a purely different, yet visceral fear.

All her life, she had been brought up to value her honour and dignity as paramount.
Being a Rajput Princess meant never bowing before anyone. However, the circumstances had changed over the years. She knew her kingdom wasn't as strong as it used to be.
The Rajput strongholds of Udaipur and Jaisalmer had also fell.

Saya wasn't a fool. She knew that her bade-pitaji's decision to allow the Britishers' entry into their Kingdom, was a last-ditch effort to sustain a disappearing heritage; a heritage that they were willing to protect with their lives, if the need arose.

For now, all she could do was hide what had transpired with her; for if the knowledge ever came to light, it would only lead to discord and dissolution of any chances for peace. With the decision, she turned to her companion,

"Bad omen, or not, Uma. They are here. And while they are our guests, we have no choice but to be courteous towards them."
______________________________________

The dried leaves crunched under Geoffrey's feet as he advanced towards the orchard.

The novelty of his situation- being able to traverse the place without a guard tailing after him, did not go unnoticed by him.

The purpose of their stay was being fulfilled satisfactorily. As far as their mission was concerned, the plans had already been prepared.
The three of them were busy taking notes of all that was worthy- the workings of the palace, the deployed armies, and pretty much everything they could gather from the limited access that the Prince had granted them. And they had made great progree with the land survey. 

A week had passed since he discovered the identity of his mystery girl.

A week since he started his futile efforts of trying to orchestrate another meeting with the elusive princess, just to be assured of the secrecy of their unfortunate first meeting.

Considering the continuing hospitality being showered on them, she hadn't yet told anyone about it.

But, what if she did?

You are simply fishing for excuses to meet her, aren't you?
A part of his mind- an annoyingly pestering part- kept on pushing the improbable thought in his mind; a thought that he did not waste a second to dismiss.

But in the very next instant, a pair of enigmatic coal eyes would pop in his memory, sending an incomprehensible longing through his heart.
The need to see her again hit him like a wave at most improbable moments.

He found it hard to decipher the reason behind his sudden infatuation; one that could very well get him killed.

The memory of her bronze skin and wild black hair enticed him like a siren; to the point that he found himself doubting the very mission he had visited this Kingdom for.

Were what they doing, right?

In the last few days, he had visited the entire Kingdom.
He met people, artisans, traders, farmers- all of whom seemed perfectly contented with the life they were leading. They carried a deep sense of loyalty and reverence for their King.

It was all so very different from what he had grown up to believe.
These were not men and women dying of starvation and crippled with destitution. He came to see them as they were- a people different from his. They had their own ways, customs and ideals.

He often thought of what they were going to do to them; of how they would be robbing them of this serenity and identity. Of how they would be exploited for the betterment and glory of his empire- the Great British Empire.

And for the first time in his entire life, Geoffrey felt unsure.
He began doubting the very principles he grew up with.

Yet, he made sure not to let his companions have the slightest inkling of these doubts.
Maybe they were the result of spending too much time with these people- people who were not his.

Maybe this was just something that would pass...

It had to.
For, if it didn't, he feared he would be nothing but a traitor- a traitor who betrayed the ideals of his motherland.

Yes, that was exactly it.
The knowledge seemed to have lifted a weight off his shoulders.
Geoffrey's steps lightened as he trailed through the narrow path between the mango trees.

The soft flow of water could be heard from at a short distance, indicating the river he had been told of.

No sooner had he turned a corner, than he spotted the wide expanse of the river bend- the sight of which caused an instant smile on his face.

"Perfect!"

Geoffrey's pleased whisper was met with a surprised cry from beside him, sending him into an instant alarm. His hands immediately went to the hilt of his sword, tucked in the loop in his belt, only to halt when he saw the person in front of him.

"You..."

In front of him, with her hands held against her mouth, stood the Princess of Bhaddaiyan Raj.

For a second, Geoffrey wondered if she was just a figment of his imagination. But that thought was soon dismissed, when he saw the distrust and alarm in her eyes.
If it had indeed been his imagination, she would not be looking at him like that.

He immediately composed his stance, sheepishly retracting his hand from his sword.
Clearing his throat, he gathered his most reassuring tone,

"I apologize, Rajkumari.... I thought you were an intruder."

His short, apologetic bow, was met with a sceptic look from the girl in front of him.

In the very next moment, he was faced with her challenging reply,

"I suppose you would be the intruder here, sir. As far as I am aware, this area comes under the palace grounds."

Geoffrey's face flushed at his mistake. He looked up at her with a conciliatory smile,

"Of course, forgive me."

Her astute expression caused him to shuffle on his feet, making him wish he had been more prepared for this meeting.

A week.
A whole week of imagining about her, only to act like a fool upon the actual meeting.
What a marvellous impression he has made thus far!

"It is alright. You must be lost, considering the absence of my brother's guards."

Geoffrey did not miss the warning in her tone.
She did not trust him.
And who could blame her?

He was literally here to rob her Kingdom of its sovereignty. A deep sense of guilt engulfed Geoffrey at the thought, though he was quick to dismiss it.

"They were generous enough to grant me a few moments of privacy."

Geoffrey's breath hitched at the humorous smile that his words elicited from her.

He stood mesmerised at the picture she presented- her sharp features glowing under the setting sun's rays and her lips curved in the most enticing smile.
She looked ethereal.

"That was very tardy of them. I think I have to ask my brother to remind his men of their duty."

The mirth in her tone, told him that it was just a jest; still, he found it wiser to remain quiet.

He had still not forgotten about the fierce lady he encountered on that fateful night.

Geoffrey knew very well what she was capable of.
He stood still, with a respectful smile, studiously concealing his fascination for her. He could not bring himself to leave, even though it would have been the best course of action for him at the moment.

She too, seemed to be tolerating his presence; her perusing eyes speculating on his intent.

When he couldn't bear the silence any longer, Geoffrey decided to breach the subject that had been the cause of much discomfort on Peter's part.

"Rajkumari, I- I just wanted to apologize for that night. Me and my friend-"

"Had no intention of hurting me. You have already told me that."

Her interruption flustered him further.

"Still, I- we were hoping if you would be kind enough to keep that incident to yourself."

A defiant brow raised at his words. He held his breath in anticipation of her answer.

"And why would I listen to you?"

Geoffrey's eyes widened with surprise.
He found himself lost for words.

"Well..."

Again, she amazed him with a short smile.

"Do not worry, sir. If I had any intention of disclosing the truth, you would not have been standing here, talking to me. However, in return, I expect the same from you."

For the first time, Geoffrey was forced to speculate on the reason behind her escapade in the middle of the night.

The unpleasant scenarios of what might have happened, had she found herself at the mercy of someone other than them, ran through his mind; each causing his blood to run cold.

A woman, alone in the night, in the alley of a gawdy-house...Distress, like no other, permeated his mind at the mere thought.

"Of course. You have my word."

Though soft enough, her subsequent scoff didn't go unnoticed by Geoffrey, causing him to feel affronted.

"May I ask what that was for?"

She looked at him with an innocent frown,

"What do you mean?"

Geoffrey raised his chin as he replied her in a piqued tone,

"Your scoff at the end, Rajkumari...I heard it. Are you implying you do not trust my words?"

She fixed her scrutinizing gaze at him, as though debating whether to answer him or not.

His patience had almost given away, when she uttered her straightforward reply,

"I must admit, I do find it difficult to trust your people."

Geoffrey stared at her unrelenting face with open amazement.

He, like many others from his land, had been aware of the carefully-concealed animosity of the people of this land. He knew that they were not quite welcome here.
But this was the first time someone had so openly antagonised them.

Nevertheless, instead of feeling the anger he would have expected, all he felt was a strange appreciation for the woman before him.
He could see no fear in her eyes; not even the slightest hint of hesitation. Even when she stood there alone and unprotected with him- a man whom she openly declared not to trust, there was not a speck of timidity in her expression.

"I'm afraid I don't have much else to offer you, besides my honest word. And the word of our people is reputed to be upright and honourable."

She turned her eyes towards the flowing stream of sparkling water.

"My people have seen it differently. Here, your people are known to lie and plunder kingdoms; snatching the people's livelihoods and humiliating them."

Geoffrey recalled his father's words; he was tempted to tell her exactly how his own people perceived this land... Of how he was supposed to perceive her. But he did not.

No matter how much he wanted to, he could not bring the words out of his mouth.

Her face, turned away from him, was etched with condemnation- something that did not sit well with him. Her words made him feel inadequate and culpable of all the blame she laid upon him.

What was he to say to that?

"I-"

"Saya, are you alright?"

The alarmed voice of another woman, sounding just behind him, caused Geoffrey to stop mid-sentence.
He turned around to see a startled girl, much the same age as the Princess.

Saya.
So, that was her name...

"Ruqsana, you are here."

There was no censure in her voice as the princess- Saya, addressed this new girl.

"You asked me to meet here... I thought you were alone."

Ruqsana cast him a suspicious glance, while inching her way closer towards her friend; taking great caution in keeping her distance from him.

"Are you alight?"

Though her question was directed at her friend, Ruqsana's gaze was fixed at him as she spoke.

"Yes, Ruqsana. I am fine. This is-"

"Sergeant Geoffrey Berkeley."

Geoffrey gave the woman a flourishing bow, making sure to leave a proper impression on at least one of them.
And also trying to amend his reputation.

He saw Saya's eyes regard him with mirth.

Ruqsana simply nodded her head, seemingly at a loss on how to return his greeting.

He realised that the way of greeting here was much different from back home; and that in bowing before her like he did, he had probably managed to make an even bigger fool of himself.

He knew the best course of action for now, would be to leave while some of his honour was still intact.

"I will be taking my leave now, Rajkumari."
______________________________________

Ruqsana turned to Saya with a perplexed expression, as soon as the odd man was out of their sight.

"What was that firangi doing here with you? Did he hurt you?"

Her words pulled Saya's thoughts away from the man who had sent her head reeling with questions.

She turned to Ruqsana with a reassuring smile.

"No, Ruqsana. He is just one of the British officials visiting the court. He happened to come here while I was waiting for you."

"Oh."

Ruqsana's face relaxed, convinced of her friend's safety.

"But enough of that. First, tell me about Hamida Bibi. Is she alright now?"

Ruqsana smiled brightly at her question.

"She is healthy as a horse now; also, she is always asking about you. You wouldn't believe how much she scolded me for sending for you in the middle of the night. She is really concerned about how the Maharaj and Yuvraj must have reacted to that."

Saya dismissed her words with a shake of her head.

"Tell her not to worry about me. She should be focussing on her own health instead."

Ruqsana took hold of her hand, looking at her with earnest eyes.

"No, Saya. I shouldn't have called you that night. I put you in grave danger. What was I thinking!? You are the Rajkumari of this land! How could I forget that? Because of me, you had to lie to everyone. And now, you have to stay inside the palace for weeks. I even had to wait for an entire week to be able to meet you."

Saya patted Ruqsana's arms in a soothing gesture.

"Stop, Ruqsana. I do not want to hear you say anything of this sort, ever again. I did what I had to do.
If the need arises, I would do the same thing again. Now, I do not want to waste this time arguing about who is right. It has been a week since I met you, and there is so much I have to talk to you about."

Ruqsana nodded her head in defeat, knowing that her words would not have much effect on her headstrong friend.

"Alright then, let us talk."
______________________________________

Rajvir sat with his father when the messenger entered with a letter from their correspondent in the Kingdom of Jhansi.

Maharaj Bir Singh opened the letter with a sombre face, knowing that not much of it could be good news.

For more than a year, the situation in Jhansi had been deteriorating.
With their king dead and the legitimacy of their heir not yet determined, the Kingdom was easy prey for the vultures who had had their eyes set on it for years.

Foremost amongst them were the Company officials. The Britishers had already annexed Jhansi under their alleged doctrine of lapse.
The queen, Laxmibai, had been figuring out a way to get her kingdom back, petitioning to the Governor-General Dalhousie to consider her adoptive son as the presumptive heir of the kingdom.

Due to their good relations with the kingdom, Maharaj Bir Singh had been actively supporting the queen in her efforts.

However, this time, he had a sinking premonition that the letter had brought news of destruction.

"What is it, pitaji? Have they conceded?"

The Maharaj looked at Rajvir with a dismal expression, folding the parchment back.

"No. They decided to send the rani away from the palace. She is no longer allowed to live there."

Rajvir thumped the table in rage,

"But how could they do that? They had promised to let her have the government for her lifetime."

The Maharaja pinched the bridge of his nose in distress.

"I know...But they have already ordered her to leave. They say they'll grant her a pension; but she has to leave Jhansi forever. There is a huge unrest..."

Rajvir scowled at the letter in his father's hand.

"What will happen now?"

Maharaja Bir Singh shook his head despairingly.

"Nothing good, Rajvir. I can feel it...a war is coming, my son. And it will be bringing with it the destruction of thousands..."
______________________________________

Gayatri entered her room to find the floor strewn with shards of glass.

She gasped at the sight of her husband standing at the head of the centre table, ready to throw another vase against the wall.

She rushed to him, carefully avoiding the glass under her feet.

"Yuvraj! Stop! What are you doing?"

She cried out in a startled tone, grasping the hand that held the vase.

Rajvir's bloodshot eyes met hers in another instant, causing her to step back in fear.

There had been several instances when she had seen him angry; but none of them could even compare to what she was seeing now.

"Remove your hand."

His voice came out in a rigid warning.
She instantly let go of his hand, instead fixing her pleading gaze upon him.

"Please stop, Yuvraj. You will hurt yourself. What is wrong? If something is the matter, then talk to me..."

Her words caused Rajvir to still. He fixed her with a deathly scowl, keeping the vase back on the table.

"You want to know what the problem is? You. You are my problem."

Gayatri stumbled back as he poked a hard finger at her chest. A shard of glass dug at her heel, causing her to wince in pain.

Rajvir kept advancing towards her.

"Do you know what arrived at the palace today? A letter from Jhansi. They have annexed it. Those firangis. An entire Kingdom, forged with the blood and sweat of a great empire, finally fell prey to the scheming of those treacherous beasts. And there was no one to stop them. No one."

She found herself pushed against one of the walls, with Rajvir leaning close to her face.
His face was eloquent with rage and desperation.

"Do you know on what basis they annexed it? They said the kingdom lacked an heir. The queen has no legitimate son to claim the throne, and so it gives them the authority to bring it under their rule. What do you think will happen if they set their sights on our Kingdom, Gayatri?"

Gayatri stiffened as she realised where the conversation was going. She felt an all too familiar ache in her heart, knowing that she would have no reply to his words.

He brought his mouth to her ears, forcing her chin into a vice grip.

"Ten years, Gayatri. It has been ten years, and what have you given me? No child. No son to call my heir. You prance about the Palace, laughing with my sister, oblivious of the pain you have put me through. How could you be so unaffected by this? You failed at the one thing a woman is supposed to do. How could you even call yourself a woman?"

She blinked back her tears, saying nothing.
She had heard these words from him innumerable times; but they still felt like thorns prickling at her heart.

"Pitaji is already weak from his old age. If they come tomorrow, and something were to happen to me, what do you think will happen to our land?"

Gayatri's gaze snapped to him.

"Why do speak such inconspicuous things?"

Rajvir paid no heed to her beseeching cry.

"If I were to die tomorrow, what is stopping them from claiming my kingdom? My people?"

He brought his lips to touch hers softly, before continuing,

"My wife?"

She whimpered against his touch.

She did not know how to reply to him; did not know what she could do to lessen her husband's pain.
She knew he was hurting. Having a child, a son, had been his only wish for years. But no matter how much she prayed, the goddess had refused to bless them with one.

When Gayatri married him, she had only been a girl of eleven, whilst he had been fifteen. They had seemed to have all the time in the world. Over the years, as they slowly realised their duty of producing an heir for the Kingdom, it became an insurmountable feat.

The kingdom was ripe with talks- the young rajkunwari was a barren; that the kingdom would be left without an heir. The situation worsened due to the fact that Rajvir was the Maharaja's only child.

There had even been talks of his remarriage; but to Gayatri's immense relief, the Maharaj was quick to dispel them.
Her family stood at her side; but her relationship with her husband had never been able to remain the same.

She blamed herself for his pain every second of the day.
If only she could give him what he wanted...

"The enemy already stands within our gates. They have sent their men to assess the situation- those three intruders...
It would not be long before they come to know that the Yuvraj of Bhaddaiyan Raj is destined to die childless. And once they do, they'll come here and take everything that is mine- ours."

His expression softened when he saw the first tears rolling down her cheek.
He wiped it away with a quick sweep of his thumb.

"Why, Gayatri? Why can't you give me a child?"

Gayatri's tears fastened their flow. She choked out her reply,

"I don't know...I am so sorry, Yuvraj. I-"

Her words stilled as she felt his mouth at her throat.
His hands were already unfastening her choli.

She shut her eyes in agony. Her feet were bleeding, and so was her heart. Yet, she let him do what he wanted. She knew it was the least she could bear, instead of the loss that she had caused him and this kingdom...

______________________________________
Glossary-
#Rajkunwari: Princess-consort
#Firangi- a hindi slang for Britishers used during British rule.
#All dialogues in italics are spoken in hindi.
#Rest of the hindi words have been explained in previous chapters.
______________________________________

Author's Note-

Hello to all my wonderful readers!

So, Geoffrey and Saya had their first, proper conversation.
What stuck out most to you?

Geoffrey is beginning to doubt what he has been told so far.
Do you think it's a good sign?
Will it be enough for him to stop his mission?

For those of you who are not aware of Rani Laxmibai, she was the queen of Jhansi who fought against the British forces (laying her life in the battlefield) She is considered to be one of the most valiant women warriors of India.

Also, we have an insight into Gayatri and Rajvir's relationship. It's the definition of toxic.
It was sad really, how people still measure a woman's worth by her ability to bear a child. Not to mention the preference for a son...
The woman is many a times blamed for the gender of the baby too, something that is scientifically decided by the male sperm!

We have a long way to go in improving the situation of all women. Let us hope that we would be able to achieve it sometime soon.

Till the next time👋