'A sigh isn't just a sigh. We inhale the world and breathe out meaning. While we can. While we can.'

-Salman Rushdie, The Moor's Last Sigh
***

Bhaddaiyan Raj,
India, 1854;

Saya knew even before she had set foot in the premises of the palace, that her absence had not been able to remain secret for long.

The entire place was illuminated by the glow of numerous torches. Her own brother, along with a handful of men, met her at the gates, his face the vision of carefully-suppressed rage.

He said nothing, merely motioning for her to follow him.
And as they silently made their way inside, she almost forgot about the previous incident- one which had left her shaken to the core.

The only relief was the fact that she had been able to send Aslam back before anyone could spot him. Now, all that was left was convincing her family of the necessity of her actions.
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"Why did you do it, Saya? Do you have any idea about how fearful we were?"

Saya bent her head in shame. She had never meant to make her bade-pitaji upset. Seeing his usually calm countenance, contorted with distress, sent a deep ache through her heart.

"But I had to do that, bade-pitaji...Hamida Bibi was sick. I couldn't possibly ignore Ruqsana's request!"

Saya cast a pleading glance at him, hoping to make him understand.

"You went out in the middle of the night, without any proper escort. Is this how a girl of your bearing is supposed to act? Do you even know the extent of dishonour that you would have brought upon the family if anyone had recognised you?
And maybe someone already has..."

Saya winced at the reproach in her brother's words.
She knew he spoke out of his concern for her, but could not help feeling a little wounded by his tone.

She wondered how much of his anger Gayatri had faced.
Her sister-in-law was not in the hall with them, causing Saya to feel even more cornered.

"We were scared, my child. What you did was too reckless. You should be aware of the dangers that lurk in the shadows of the night; especially in the place you went to. You are a woman. You must be careful at all times."

Her bade-pitaji's words caused Saya to momentarily raise her head.

The memory of what had transpired flashed through her mind. If they ever became aware of what had happened to her, they would be livid!

"I am sorry, bade-pitaji. I did not want to hide it from you. But I had no other choice. You would never have allowed me to leave.; and if I hadn't left, Hamida Bibi would never have taken her medicine."

Her words were met with a scoff from her brother.

"Of course, we would never have let you leave! As for Hamida Bibi, I think she would have been capable of surviving the night without your assistance. I am going to have a few words with that girl. How dare she try to malign your reputation by sending such a ridiculous message."

Saya threw her hands in front of her, trying to emphasise her words.

"Ruqsana did nothing wrong, bhaiya! She had no other choice. Hamida Bibi was not drinking the concoction. And without it, the hakim said she would not be able to survive the night."

Saya turned back towards the king,

"Bade-Pitaji, Hamida Bibi is my guru. I couldn't possibly leave her alone like that. She was badi-ma's confidant. Please try to understand."

Her words seemed to have some effect on the king, who now stood with a pronounced frown sketched on his forehead.
It took him another moment to reply to her,

"I understand, Saya. I have her best interests at heart too. But you are my child. No-one is more important to me than you. If anything had happened to you tonight, how was I supposed to live knowing that I failed my promise to my dear brother?
That I was unable to assure the safety of his only daughter, the one whose responsibility he had bestowed upon my shoulders before leaving this world?"

Tears pricked at the corner of Saya's eyes.
She had no inkling of the stress that her disappearance had caused her bade-pitaji. But she also knew that if faced with the decision again, she would not hesitate in making the same choice.

A gentle hold on her chin caused Saya to lift her face; she found herself looking directly into the eyes of the king. He smiled softly, wiping the tears that had escaped from her eyes.

"You know how I cannot bear to see the sight of your tears. They pierce my heart, my daughter. I just want you to be safe. I know you care about Ruqsana and her mother. But for the sake of this old man, please refrain from putting your life in danger...Promise me."

Saya sniffled as she nodded her head.

"But we cannot let this incident pass just like that. You are not allowed to leave the Palace at all for the next few weeks.'

Saya gasped at her brother's words, turning to face him with a bewildered expression.

"But bhaiya, I have to see how Hamida Bibi is doing! I must go out- only once."

Her brother's firm expression caused her to turn to the older man.

"Your brother is right, Saya. You should stay within the Palace premises for the time being."

"But, bade-pitaji, I-"

Saya's protestations were interrupted by a steady shake of his head.

"No, Saya. You cannot sway me on this decision. I will send a few men to inquire about Hamida's well-being at dawn. You will come to know of it. But you will not be leaving the Palace again."

Saya bit her lip, trying to keep her protestations to herself. She knew she should not push her luck. She was already being offered more concessions than she could possibly imagine.
And if she relied on what the hakim had said, Hamida Bibi would be alright; she had taken the concoction after all...
All she could do was to pray for her health.

At last, Saya gave a short nod, acknowledging his decision.
______________________________________

Geoffrey cast a sour glance at the bed, seeing Peter's frame sprawled carelessly on it.

It had taken him hours of effort to drag him here last night; and to see him so blissfully unaware of the catastrophe he had caused, sent Geoffrey's blood to a boil.

He took assured strides towards the foot of the bed and yanked the end of Peter's boot off his feet.

The man sat up with a startled yelp. He looked around him like a lost soul, only stopping once he spotted Geoffrey.

Peter rubbed his eyes leisurely before speaking in a groggily voice,

"Good lord! My head is splitting...And why are you looking at me with such a murderous intent in your eyes, Geoffrey?"

Geoffrey shook his head in bewilderment.

"So, now you remember my name, huh?"

Peter massaged his temple.

"What do you mean? Of course, I remember your name!"

Geoffrey wondered how much of what he did last night, actually retained itself in Peter's head...not much apparently.

"You did seem a little unsure about it last night."

Peter's eyes widened a fraction upon hearing Geoffrey's words.

"Oh devil! Last night! Did I do something stupid? I tend to go a little overboard when I'm drunk."

"Stupid? No, of course not. You did not do anything of that sort. In fact, I think I would have preferred something stupid over what you actually did."

Peter let out a tortured groan, pulling himself out of the bed. He vigorously rubbed his hands over his face.

"Pray, tell...what the hell did I do?"

Geoffrey wondered if he should leave out the worst details... probably not.

"Well, apart from dragging us to the gawdy-house in the middle of the night, getting drunk well beyond reason, making a fool of yourself in front of the entire local population and harassing an innocent woman with your undue advances...nothing much. Oh yes- you also almost butchered any possible chances of our success at this mission."

Peter's face looked like he had been struck. For a second, Geoffrey feared he had said more than he should have.

"Bloody hell..."

"Yes, bloody hell indeed. Now, kindly get your arse up and off this bed. We are already late for the meeting with the King. Compose yourself as soon as you can."

Before he could leave, Geoffrey was stopped by Peter's urgent voice,

"Wait! Geoffrey, just tell me this- that woman...the one I- is she alright?"

Geoffrey sighed, noting the regret in Peter's tone.
He turned back with a calmer expression.

"Yes, she probably is. In any case, let us just hope we never see her again. I assume she wouldn't be too happy to meet us."

Geoffrey wished he could say the same about himself. For those fierce, raven eyes had haunted him the entire night, robbing him of his sleep and calm.
______________________________________

"I still do not understand your decision, pitaji. It is not wise to have the enemy within our gates. You know what they did in Buxar and Plassey. How are we supposed to trust them?"

Maharaj Bir Singh gave his son a knowing smile.

"I know very well, son. That is exactly why I decided to accept their request for a meeting. I do not want to put my Kingdom and my innocent subjects at the mercy of war. We will not be able to achieve anything through it.
If I had refused to grant them this meeting and their attendance, they would have eventually found some other way to gain access to our state."

Rajvir clenched his teeth in helplessness.
He had been against his father's decision since the beginning, but was unable to make him understand its repercussions.

His father's commitment towards peace and quiet was something he could never reconcile with.

"But how can we trust that they will leave us alone after this? We both know that this deal that they claim to propose is nothing more than a farce. They are going to follow the same pattern.
First, they set up the trade routes, only to infiltrate our entire markets. And as soon as they have had a taste of our riches, they are not going to wait to attack us."

His father's face turned firm, causing Rajvir to hesitate.

"I am well aware of their workings, Rajvir. But I am not going to plunge my kingdom into an unprepared battle, simply for the sake of something that I fear might happen in the future. We are a small Kingdom, my son. We cannot afford to go against them; not without losing precious innumerable lives.
Even the Nawab of Oudh has made his peace with them. We should not rile the enemy right at the start. They want a meeting; we will give them one."

Rajvir felt his patience thinning.

"The Nawab of Oudh is a weak man! But we are Rajputs, pitaji! The stories of our valour are sung in households in each corner of the country. How can we ever bear to face ourselves in the mirror again, if we fear our enemies?"

Maharaj Bir Singh met his son's gaze with a hard glare.

"Thinking about my subject's wellbeing doesn't make me any less of a Rajput. I do not condone unnecessary war. If there is any chance of me avoiding the destruction of hundreds of lives and families, I will do just that. If that makes me a weak ruler, so be it."

Rajvir knew that there was nothing he could say to sway his father's decisions.
He just wished that his father's faith was warranted.

He prayed that the vision of destruction that had been plaguing his mind ever since they welcomed their guests, would never have to come true...
______________________________________

Geoffrey had not expected the presence of the Maharaja to be this intimidating.
But it was the Prince, sitting beside his father, who unsettled him more; he looked at them with cautious, unassuming eyes.

"I hope your stay here is comfortable."

Geoffrey smiled, nodding his head.

"Yes, Maharaj. We are grateful for your hospitality."

The man seemed pleased by their answer.

"Then, let us get straight to the point. Your General sent a message to me. If I am not wrong, you all are here to elaborate on that."

Geoffrey glanced at Peter, motioning for him to take the lead. He did not trust his limited vocabulary to be qualified to carry forward the conversation.

Peter immediately followed up with his answer.

"Indeed, Maharaj. Our proposal is going to be lucrative for both sides. It has been prepared taking the interests of both the parties into consideration. You see, the Company has recently undertaken quite a few construction projects for our barracks stationed in Oudh. However, we are currently facing a dearth of decent quality brickwork for buildings. We have been told that the soil of your region is famed for its potential of making some fine quality bricks."

The Maharaj listened to Peter's words with undivided focus, never taking his eyes off of him.

Geoffrey tried to gauge his reaction; but with his stoic expressions, there was not much he could gather.
The prince's wary eyes were trained on them throughout the entire conversation.

"Indeed. But I'm afraid we do not have the means to produce them on such a large scale as you might require. Our kilns are small, and the time they will take to fulfil the order will not be feasible-"

Peter's answer was ready before the Maharaj had a chance to finish.

"You need not worry about the smaller details, Maharaj. We have everything needed- larger kilns, plenty of labour and more. What we need is the precious soil of your land. Of course, at an appropriate price."

 Rajvir stopped himself from calling the man out for his rude interruption of the Maharaj's words. Instead, he tried to counter him with a frosty tone,

"The price can be decided after we have agreed to the deal. You are betting your resources over a rumour you have heard. Our soil might not suit your needs."

Geoffrey knew such an argument was bound to arise. He smiled calmly before replying,

"That is why we have been sent here, Yuvraj. The company wanted us to inspect the land and see if it is up to the requirements. The other details can be finalised later. We will be greatly obliged to have permission to peruse the land before any decision is taken- if the Maharaj agrees to it."

Peter cast an apprehensive gaze at Geoffrey. They knew the King would agree, but still could not shake off the nervousness. 

Rajvir knew they had no choice. If they refused now, the company was bound to find another way to intrude upon their peaceful lives. Unsurprisingly, his father gave a grim nod. 

"Alright. The Yuvraj will have someone help you with your survey. If you happen to find what you are looking for, we will take the discussion further."

Peter, who had fortunately been diligent enough this time, replied with a well-constructed enthusiasm,

"Thank you for your wisdom, Maharaj."

"Very well. Then, till you do that, allow my son to show you around our beautiful Kingdom. It will be better if you knew a bit about the place and its people before you took your decisions."

Geoffrey doubted the Prince would actually be interested in showing them around the area. Judging by the perpetual frown on his face, he would rather be anywhere else.

"That is really kind of you, Maharaj."
______________________________________

Geoffrey tried to keep his wariness from showing on his face, as he walked beside the Prince.
He made sure to focus on all that he was pointing towards- the halls, the temple and everything that passed in between.

All three of them- Geoffrey, Peter and William, had undertaken this sudden excursion with him.

The first place they were being shown, was the Palace itself.

Geoffrey knew that this was a very integral part of their mission. Finding out about the finer details of the Palace's defence, its forces and the layout, was one of the first tasks that they had been given.
But with the vigilant man leading their retinue, there weren't many ways they could do that without the risk of sounding too inquisitive.

They had to keep each foot forward with caution. The Prince would surely not be merciful if he had even the slightest doubt about their intentions.

"And this is the bathhouse. It has been modelled on the famed Turkish baths. You can see a similar one in the Nawab's palace in Lucknow."

The Prince's voice turned Geoffrey's attention to the unassuming blue building in front of him.

He knew they were deliberately being shown only the superficial parts of the place. It was a good tactic. This way, they wouldn't have any excuse to explore the Palace later on.

"It is beautiful indeed."

Peter's statement warranted a smile from the Prince.

"Then allow me to show you the inside."

They all followed the man through the stone steps, passing the two guards who bowed to the Prince.

Geoffrey's senses were struck with an immediate sense of relief and bliss, as soon as the blast of cold air hit him.

He heard William's surprised gasp from beside him.

"Wow! It really is uncharacteristically cold inside."

Peter made little effort to hide his awe.

The inside of the structure was lined with thick walls and a low ceiling. Lining the two opposite walls, were three tubs- all modelled within the main edifice.

"It is designed as such. The bricks used are made of mud. It keeps the inside cool. This is usually reserved for the royal family. But if you want, I can arrange it for your use."

His words caused all three of them to beam with delight.

Peter didn't waste another second in voicing his agreement.

"That would be wonderful!"
______________________________________

Saya breathed in the fragrance of the surrounding flowers.

Being barred from going outdoors, she had decided to take refuge in the palace gardens.

"I am so sorry for not being able to keep your absence a secret for long, Saya."

Gayatri's regretful tone captured Saya's attention.

She immediately faced her with a soft smile.

"There was not much you could have done, Bhabhi. I should have known better."

Beside her, Uma clicked her tongue.

"It is really a shame. We cannot even visit Ruqsana to ask about Hamida Bibi's health."

Saya tucked the escaping strands of her hair back in her braid.

"I got the message from her this morning. Bade-pitaji had sent Vaidyaji to have a look at her. She is going to be perfectly fine."

She took a remorseful Gayatri's hand in hers.

"I shouldn't have asked that of you, Bhabhi. Bhaiya must have been livid!"

A flash of unease passed through Gayatri's eyes, before she smiled measuredly.

"Not at all. You know your brother. He doesn't stay angry for long."
______________________________________

"Yuvraj, there is a messenger for you from the taluk."

Rajvir stopped in his tracks as soon as the guard came up to him.
He passed an apologetic smile to the others, excusing himself for a moment.

In his absence, the three men took it upon themselves to explore the vicinity of their surroundings, all under the watchful eyes of the guards.

"This is much better than I had expected."

Peter's words warranted an agreeable nod from the men.

"It most certainly is."

Geoffrey ran his gaze around him, at the vast expanse of the gardens that lay ahead.

He had just about made it to the corner of one of the walls, when he spotted her.

She was like a fantasy straight out of his dreams. He almost didn't believe his eyes. Although last time he had only seen her in the veil of the night, he couldn't be more certain of her identity.

"Lord!"

Peter rushed over to him upon hearing his exclamation.

"What is wrong?"

He followed Geoffrey's line of sight to find the most wonderful trio ahead of them.

"By the Lord's mercy! Those are some beautiful women!"

His words pulled Geoffrey back to reality.
He cast a sour glance at his companion.

"Do not even think about it. That girl- the one in the middle- is the girl you so crassly harassed last night."

Peter's eyes widened to the size of a saucer as he gawked at him.

Geoffrey went back to staring at the implausible sight before him.
What were the odds of him meeting that same girl again?

"She probably works in the palace...In that case, if she ever recognises us, it will cause us some deep trouble."

Geoffrey rolled his eyes at Peter.

"Now you realise that? Where were your senses when we needed them last night?"

Even as he spoke, Geoffrey could not help but note that what Peter said, was absolutely right.
If that woman worked in the palace, there were high chances of her recognising them.

There were not many Britishers in this Province to account for.
She might already have spoken about their encounter with someone... No, that would not do.

The only way to keep the truth about their illicit excursion last night a secret, was to approach her.

"Is something the matter?"

Geoffrey's thoughts were interrupted by a thoroughly confused William.

"Nothing. You stay here. We will be back in a minute."

Without giving the poor man a chance to speak, Geoffrey pulled a befuddled Peter by his hands, and made his way to the three women.

With each passing step, he began doubting his decision. Peter's uneasiness did not provide him with the necessary encouragement.

"Ahem, ladies... I am sorry to interrupt. Good afternoon."

Geoffrey hoped his voice did not sound confrontational.

All three pairs of eyes turned to him; all of them surprised and guarded, but one in particular filled with instant recognition.

Ah...so she did recognise him too.

The woman's eyes darted to Peter, who stood behind him with a repentant expression, probably too ashamed of his deed.
Her eyes widened, and she took a step back.

Geoffrey expanded a reconciliatory hand.

"No, please! We are not here to hurt you...We- we did not mean to cause you any harm last night. My friend here-"

He pulled Peter beside him by his sleeves.

"- He wanted to apologize for what he did."

Peter immediately took his cue.

"Yes, of course. I am immensely ashamed of what I did. I was drunk, and that is no excuse for my behaviour, but I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me."

The girl, who had been looking at them with wide, startled eyes, shook her head in urgency.

"No, I-"

"What are you doing here?"

The strained voice of the Prince, caused the girl to stop in the midst.

The faces of all the three women had turned pasty as they looked over Geoffrey's shoulder.

"I distinctly remember asking you all to stay where I left you, gentlemen."

Geoffrey felt his heart thud at the suppressed rage in the man's voice.

"O-Of course, Yuvraj. We- we just thought to have a small stroll."

Peter's words, spoken in haste, did little to soothe the lines of the Prince's face. He then directed his gaze at the three women.

"What are you all doing here?"

Geoffrey frowned at the note of his voice, wondering if he had even guessed the situation correctly.

"Nothing, bhaiya. We just came to out in the garden for a minute."

Geoffrey stilled at the words.

Bhaiya? Brother? The Prince was this girl's brother?

He managed to get a quick glance at her. Indeed, as he looked closely, her attire was much finer and regal than yesterday.
It was not something that a commoner would don. Even the spirit he had detected in her eyes last night, did not come easily.

"Enough of all that. Go inside now."

The women did not take long to hurry out of their sight, leaving a gaping Peter and a thoroughly perplexed Geoffrey, gazing at their retreating figures.

"This is the garden designed for the ladies of the Palace. Those were the women of the royal family. In our culture, a strange man is not supposed to gaze at, or be in the presence of our women. I hope you all remember that in the future. I will also appreciate if you do not roam about the palace grounds without an escort."

Peter and Geoffrey gave him a dazed nod, still reeling from the discovery.

"Good. I suppose we can end the tour for today. You have a survey to plan, after all."
______________________________________

Glossary-

#All the sentences in italics, are spoken in hindi.
#Many of the words have been explained in the previous chapters.
#badi-ma : Aunt
#Vaidyaji- Doctor
#Taluk- Province
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Author's Note-

Hello to all my wonderful readers!

First of all, I apologize for missing my deadline. 🙇‍♀️
I had an exam, and then I fell a little sick...
But I'm fine now. I hope to return back to my schedule.

So, what do you think of the chapter?

Any insights?

Who do you agree with?
The King?
Or the Prince?

Is the king being too naive by giving the Britishers a chance?
Should he support war or peace in this instance?

P. S. Kindly help your fellow sister by pointing out the typos!

Till the next time👋