جانتا ہے نا تو کیا ہے دل میں میرے
بن سنے گن رہا ہے نا تو دھڑکنیں،

آہ نکلی ہے تو چاند تک جاۓ گی،
تیرے تاروں سے میری سدا آۓ گی،

اے نبی ہاں کبھی تو صبح آۓ گی

جب تلک تو سنے گا نا دل کی،
در سے تیرے نا جاؤں گا خالی۔۔۔۔۔!
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~Kumrat Valley, Khyber Pakhtun Khwa~

~Shahveer

With glistening white caps, like a perfect storybook picture, the mountain range lay to the north. Like slumbering giants beneath thick blankets of white they lay in dreamless sleep as the eons ticked by like the second hand of a clock.

As we both walked down the mountains and through an oak forest, the beautiful scenery started to become even more mesmerising. There were white cattle grazing in the forest while down below, there were grassy plains and clear streams seemed like a bundle of silver plated beautiful ribbons.

After a brief walk which was paved with complete silence, we finally reached to the site where the shrine was located.

It was a a holy and sacred site which was crowded with myriad of people.

People of all ages!

Amidst the chaos and hustle bustle, I thankfully managed to find my way out of the crowd.

"Why don't you join me inside, we just have to tie a thread on that wall of the shrine, that's it!"

Mehr pointed towards a huge wall at my left which had several holes in it spread across the width, covered with multicoloured threads. Loads of people were busy while tying the threads around those holes.

"And what's that for?" I asked with amazement.

"Every year, this day, people from all over Pakistan come here and tie these threads and make a wish with the depths of their heart. And it is a fact, that they don't go back empty handed!"

Mehr's eyes glistened with ecstasy and hope as she looked straight in my eyes.

I remained silent as I looked at those multicoloured threads with fascination.

"How can a person rely on just a single piece of thread and believe that it might fulfill their wish?"

I smirked while looking back at Mehr, who was already starting at me.

"It's not the thread which fulfills their wishes. Its the blessings of Pir Shah Ahmad Jillani and his shrine!"

She smiled.

A part of me, which badly wanted to go and tie a thread in the name of my beloved, eventually died upon hearing Mehr's last sentence.

"Duaaon ki qubooliyat ka ikhtiyar sirf Allah k pass hai. Sirf or sirf Allah k pass. Ye kufr hai. Shirk hai!"

(Only Allah alone can fulfill the prayers. Believing that anyone else can, is a Shirk!)

I glared at her with immense anger.

"Indeed, but his blessings conveys our prayers and messages to Allah!"

Mehr pointed towards the grave of the saint.

"Jo Rab Pehley Se he Dil Mein Mojood Ho, Usey Kisi ki dili khwahish janney k lye kisi Aur Waseeley Ki kya Zaroorat?"

(Why would Allah need someone else's help to know the desires of a heart when He Himself lives in it?)

Mehr remained silent. She had nothing to say now.

She knew that arguing with me was as useless as trying to convince me for tying a thread on the wall.

"Wohi hum sab ka Malik hai or us k siwa or koi zaat nahi jo hamari maangein poori kar saky! Sary ikhtayarat usi k pass hein or wohi Akela dilon k haal se waqif hai. Mery or tumhary dil k halat se bhi!"

I looked straight in her gloomy eyes which were drowned with embarassment now.

"If He is aware of my desires, then why doesn't He fulfill my wish?"

Mehr complained about her love for me.

"Because He has chosen someone else for me! Someone who was destined to be mine since twenty nine years!"

I replied politely.

"I wish you could forget her!" She smiled painfully.

I stared at her with guilt.

"Why didn't you forget her throughout these years?"

She complained with disappointment.

"Because the only thing which has kept me alive since these years is the hope that my Allah will unite us one day!" I smiled painfully.

"And what if He doesn't?" Tears dwelled up in her beautiful blue eyes.

"Then I will spend my life with patience and hope that He will reunite us in Jannah!"

Tears started to cascade down her creamy cheeks as she witnessed the pain in my words.

"If I can't be hers, I will never surrender myself to anyone else!"

I made myself clear.

"Not even me?" She wept innocently.

I paused as I eyed her with sympathy.

Her tears reminded me of the night at which I had damaged a beautiful soul. The night at which I had broken a beautiful heart.

"No...!" I shook my head.

"Consider it as the true meaning of love. And I can't ruin it's meaning by giving up on someone who never gave up on me since eighteen years!"

I raised my hands up to the level of her face and wiped her tears away.

"Eighteen years?" She looked at me with shock.

"Yes. And for a girl, who could love me for eighteen years, even eighteen centuries are not enough for her to be loved back!" I smiled.

She smiled too.

"You are the most luckiest person on Earth, who is blessed with the love of a girl like Hooriyah Jahangir Khan!"

Mehr smiled while taking a thread out from her bag.

"Do you know what? I came here to tie this thread so that I could win your heart, but now, I will tie this thread for you, so that you get your love back!"

She smiled as tears escaped through her large eyes.

"I don't believe in such things Mehr-un-Nisa!"

I smiled back at her.

"But I do. You should go and pray according to your beliefs, and I will pray according to my beliefs. I will pray with the depths of my heart and soon you will get your Hooriyah back!"

Mehr smiled ear to ear and turned to leave.

"Mehr!" I stopped her.

"Yes, Shahveer?"

"May Allah fulfill your desire!" I smiled.

"My desire was Shahveer Ali Khan. Hence, may Allah fulfill Shahveer Ali Khan's desire!"

She smiled back and walked towards the huge wall and closed her eyes and started to make a duaa while tears continued to trickle down her innocent face .After murmuring Ameen, she took out the thread and finally tied it around the hole.

While looking at that poor girl, I finally turned to leave as I couldn't see her in this state anymore. She was continuously crying and I knew that I was the reason. But I was helpless, completely helpless.

How could I surrender myself to someone whom I can't even do justice with. I had nothing to give her.

Everything was already taken away from me.

My heart.

My feelings.

My soul.

My pleasure.

My existence.

Hooriyah had taken each and everything away from me.

How could I allow such a strong woman like Mehr-un-Nisa to waste her life after a man who was completely useless now. How could I allow her to destroy herself after a man who's heart was as horrible as a graveyard.

She would find nothing, except for pain, hopelessness and depression in me. I could never make her happy the way she deserved to be. Indeed there was someone else written in her life, who could give her much more importance and love rather than me.

As I continued to walk out of the shrine, lost in my own thoughts, guilt and agony, I failed to notice that I was feeling a bit drowsy. My mind started to spin wildly while an excruciating pain ran across my head. I grabbed my head with both of my hands while moaning with pain and searched for a place to sit down as it was getting unbearable.

I looked here and there but there was no place to sit as there was a huge crowd of people walking haphazardly. Left with no other option, I walked towards a wall and rested my back against it while rubbing my temples with both of my thumbs. The moment my vision started to get blurry, I stumbled upon a nearby wooden stall and finally fell down on the floor while my back was still resting against the wall.

I continued to moan with pain but the headache accelerated after every passing second. I started reciting some prayers to ease my pain and luckily my vision started to become clear, but there wasn't any improvement in the pain. I rested my head on the wall while my gaze was fixed upon the strangers passing by.

I was feeling numb and emotionless. I don't know what was happening to me. But the feeling was strange.

Extremely strange!

The direction of breeze started to change. It started becoming more chilled than before. The aroma of my surroundings started changing into more pleasant one. Something extremely unexplainable was happening. A strange feeling started to stir in the air. I tried hard to focus on my surroundings while looking left and right so that I could interpret the meaning of these unusual happenings.

"We are almost there Amma. This is the same shrine you wanted to visit since ten years. And now you can pray here as much as you want to! Okay?"

A beautiful, feminine and melodious voice entered in my ears, making me feel extremely curious to know where the voice was coming from, but due to such a huge storm of people, I was unable to see the lady's face.

"Allah teri har murad poori karey beti! Meri barso purani khwahish aj tu ney poori kr di ! "

(May Allah fulfill all of your desires daughter, after such a long time, finally my wish has been granted!)

An old woman who was walking along with her, replied to her with happiness and affection.

As I struggled to see the lady who was helping the old woman by taking her to the shrine, a group of men came in between, thus blocking my view.

As they just walked past me, her voice started to sound familiar.

Much familiar.

I struggled harder to see her face, but to no avail.

My desperation was increasing pathetically after every passing second. I fidgeted like a child eager to have a glance of the face of the woman whose voice was getting extremely familiar as she got nearer and nearer.

I wanted to stand up but my weakness started to increase thus not letting me move an inch. I was feeling extremely helpless right now. Don't know what was forcing me to have a glance of that lady. A natural power or an unexplainable sort of attraction was creating an urge inside me to just have a single look at that woman who was standing so close to me but was still unreachable due to the heavy crowd.

Suddenly one of her feet stumbled upon the rocks due to which something slipped away from her foot, but she managed to maintain her balance and finally left without picking it up.

What happened next was enough to swipe the floor beneath my feet away.

My gaze eventually fell upon the silver coloured anklet which had slipped away from the lady's foot a few seconds ago. I managed to move a bit forward and was finally successful in grabbing it.

As I examined it's familiar design, my mind started to spin wildly while my heart pumped faster and my body trembled pathetically.

Millions of times!

Millions of times I had seen this anklet before.

Out of all the things, it was the easiest for me to recognise this anklet, and recognise it's owner too.

I had seen this anklet dangling in her beautiful feet, millions of times.

She used to wear this always.

Always!

Its design was imprinted on my heart like her name.

I caressed the anklet with my fingers until I realised that she was near.
She was near.

Extremely near!

"Hooriyah!" I shouted at the top of my lungs.

I struggled hard to get up from the floor, and started running in search of her.

She was here.

She was here!!!!

I pushed few people away, and kept on screaming her name. But she was nowhere to be seen, neither that old woman.

"Hooriyah!"

I tightened my fist which was wrapped around the anklet as I continued to walk as fast as I could along the narrow streets which were leading back to the shrine.

I searched everywhere and tried my best to check each and every face but there was no sign of her existence. Finally surrendering myself to my deteriorated condition, I fell down on the floor as I cried and yelled her name for the last time.

"Hooriyaaaaaah!"

I screamed and cried ferociously.

And why won't I?

She was so near, yet she was unreachable!

A storm of tears escaped through my eyes making me feel completely defeated. I continued to scream with pain while the people passing by looked at me with disgust and annoyance as if I was committing a huge sin by creating a fuss and crying madly outside a shrine. Some of them looked at me with sympathy while some of them threw coins towards me considering me as a mentally disabled beggar. I cried harder and harder and moaned with grief while kissing the anklet and bringing it near to my chest, where my heart was continuously bleeding with agony.

"Hooriyah!"

I moaned with pain and cried madly, but there was no one to understand my pain. I continued to cry harder and harder until my vision started to get blur and finally, the darkness took over....!