I'm willing to die with and for you.

To calculate a plan for running away, ensuring their full safety, Ishan needed some time to think and unfortunately he was ordered to go to the kingdom in the north with a peace treaty the day after they had even decided on running away. He decided he will think of a plan during this time and after he goes back, they can finally be free and with each other. 

So, here he was, sitting in a gigantic room of the neighboring kingdom's palace, staring out at the moon from the balcony, that not-so-surprisingly reminded him of his beloved. 

Strangely, he was feeling very restless today. There was a weird feeling in the pit of his stomach that was probably trying to tell him something was wrong. His heart was anxious and ached a lot but it wasn't a physical pain, but instead something that made him feel scared, worried, and want to cry and he didn't even understand why. He had this weird urge to just leave everything and immediately run back home, preferably in his love's arms, his comfort place, his home.

Ishan sighed, glancing down at his hands that were very jittery. He looked at them for a second before fisting them tightly and closing his eyes. “I hope he is fine.” 

After tossing and turning in the bed for so long, almost the whole night, Ishan was finally about to fall asleep before his sleep got interrupted again in the form of his door being barged open. 

“Your Highness!!”

Ishan's eyes widened at the intruders. He got up from his bed immediately, alarmed. “Maya, what are you doing here? Is there something wrong back home?” 

“Your highness, we need to go back right now.” Manav, a man around the same age as Ishan, said. His twin sister, Maya, was standing beside him but she looked like she was too shaken to say anything, her hands were trembling, fear etched onto her features deeply. 

They were the main Royal Mages of Ishan's kingdom, having grown up alongside him because of their same age. You can say they were Ishan's only friends in that huge, lonely castle he was supposed to call home that actually never felt like one. 

“What happened?” Ishan asked. His whole body had tensed completely, face drained of all the colour. Manav was travelling with him but Maya wasn't supposed to be here, she was supposed to be home and if she is here, then it's definitely some dreadful news. 

“What happened?” Ishan repeated again, this time his voice has risen in volume. He was already restless from the morning and now this. 

“The que- queen somehow got to know about you and Sir Shubman.” Maya was the one who spoke this time. Her voice was trembling, eyes filled with tears as if something very horrible had happened or was about to happen. “She is holding him captive right now.” 

Ishan's heart dropped to his stomach at the words, his breathing turning laboured. He covered his mouth with his trembling hand, stumbling backwards. NO, NO, NO, OH, MY GOD, THIS CAN'T HAPPEN!! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?!! OH, GOD!!

“We gotta go back immediately.” Manav said, grabbing Ishan's hand who looked like he was in a trance, completely rooted to the ground. Maya held his other hand, both the twins closing their eyes as they prepared to transport back to their kingdom. 

In a minute, they were in the garden of their own palace. 

“Where are they?” Ishan asked. He looked like he was finally back to his senses now, a little out of the initial shock but his whole stance screamed worry and anxiety. Urgency.

“In the throne room-”

Even before Maya could complete her sentence, Ishan had already started running towards the throne room, almost stumbling and falling down in the way.

As soon as he reached, he saw his mother, perched up on the throne, face buried in some papers. The whole room was clad with soldiers all around, lined up against the wall.

But the sight that broke his heart was his beloved, clad in iron chains, tied to a pole like he was some wild animal that can't be left free. His eyes were droopy, face bruised, blood dripping from the side of his forehead, streaming down his cheek. He looked at the verge of unconsciousness but still tried to smile at Ishan as soon as he saw him and that shattered Ishan's heart even more, eyes filling with tears at the heart-wrenching sight. 

“What the fuck is going on here?” Ishan said, his voice turning dangerously low as soon as he looked away from Shubman and at the queen, eyes blazing with anger as he took a step forward. 

His mother finally looked up from her papers before throwing them away. She smiled at him blankly, eyes cold and expressionless. “Finally, you're here. We were just waiting for you.” 

“How dare you?” Ishan hissed, glaring at the queen, seething in anger. He suppressed the urge to just pull out his dagger and plunge it through her throat. How dare she? How dare she hurt his Shubman? First, she never became a mother for him and just treated him like a tool to fulfill her expectations and now, now she's trying to hurt the only person Ishan loves, his lifeline. 

“Tch, tch.” The woman shook her head, standing up from her throne and slowly walking down the steps. “Honestly, I'm very disappointed in you, prince. I never expected something like this from you. I've taught you better than that.” 

“Leave him.” Ishan echoed, his hands forming into tight fists. “Immediately. Do not force me to do something you will regret.” 

“No etiquette. Disgusting.” His mother spoke through her gritted teeths, shooting him a glare. “Is that how I raised you?”

Ishan scoffed, disgusted at the audacity of her even saying that. “Raised me? I can't recall you “raising” me, your majesty. I raised myself, you were never here. Never.” 

His mother closed her eyes, seething. She had tightly fisted her hands together as if she was resisting the urge to hit him. 

“Did you forget that you're the heir of this kingdom?” She spoke, opening her eyes and the coldness there might've made Ishan shudder if it was some other time but not now. Not when his love is at stake, never when his love is at stake. “How can you associate yourself with a weak, disgusting human?” She said, her voice filled with dread and disgust as she glanced at Shubman.

“He's not disgusting, you are!” Ishan exclaimed, his loud voice echoing in the otherwise silent room, filled with rage, some of the soldiers even flinched but the queen didn't budge a bit, just kept staring at him with disgust, disappointment and even hate possibly. 

“I love him and you don't get to decide what I can do or what I can not. You do not have any right.” Ishan hissed, his hand reaching the dagger tucked in his dress-pants. He pulled it out, tightening his hold on the handle. “I'm taking him with me.” He said, walking closer to Shubman. 

“Hold him.” The queen ordered. Around 5 to 6 soldiers immediately held Ishan. He tried trashing around, fighting to break out of the tight hold but was unsuccessful. One of them twisted his wrist, probably breaking it as well, causing the dagger to fall down from his hand.

“I would've said to be a bit gentle with my darling son but I honestly don't care right now.” The queen smiled, uninterested, glancing down at her long nails. “So, hit him if there's a need for it.” 

“What do you want?” Ishan screamed as loud as he could, his eyes drifting to Shubman again who was also looking at him, eyes filled with intense sorrow. He could feel his heart physically squeezing inside his chest at the sight. “Do whatever you want to me but leave him. Please."

“Aw, my sweetie-pie.” His mother chuckled, patting his hair. “It's adorable how you think I did all of this to just leave him at the end.” 

“Please, mother, I beg you.” Ishan spoke, his voice cracking. His futile attempts of getting out of the strong hold around him were all unsuccessful. He had never felt more helpless in his entire life. “Kill me but please leave him. None of this is his fault. Please.” 

“I know, I know that all of this is your fault, not his.” His mother muttered coldly, walking back to her throne and sitting on it with her legs crossed. “But his death will be your punishment.” 

“Kill him.” She ordered. 

“No, no, no, please, mother, no.” Ishan begged, dropping onto his knees and joining his hands infront of her. “Hum mohabbat karte hai unse. Unhe kuch mat keejiye.” 

“Koi mohabbat nahi karte aap.” His mother glared at him. “Kuch hi dino mein bhool bhi jaayege aap ise.” 

“Mat keejiye aisa.” Ishan mumbled, choking on his own words, helpless tears streaming down his face. He desperately prayed to the higher power above to save his Shubman, and take his life instead if there was a need. Just save his Shubman. “Aap jo kahengi, hum karenge. Bas unhe jaane dijiye. Hum bheek maangte hai aapse.” 

“See, this is where this so called love of yours has bought you. So weak.” The queen said, shaking her head, her tone dipping with disgust. “You're our future king, act like it.” 

“Please.” 

“Is- Ish.” 

Ishan's head immediately snapped towards Shubman as soon as he heard his voice. It sounded hoarse, broken and in so much pain as if it was taking him tremendous effort to even utter a word which it was. His eyes were droopy, half-closed, face smeared with blood. 

“It's fine.” Shubman mumbled, forcing a smile at him. “Don't cry.” 

An audible sob left Ishan's lips at Shubman's words, they just made him cry even more, he felt angry and disgusted at himself for being so weak and not being able to save his love. He hated himself for even coming in Shubman's life. Everything would've been fine in his life if only Ishan wasn't present in it. His mother is right, everything is his fault. What made him think that he deserved any kind of love? That too from someone as good as Shubman. Ishan hated himself for ruining Shubman's life. He didn't deserve that, the only thing Ishan ever managed to give him is pain. 

“Shut up. Stop thinking right now.” Shubman's soft voice cut through his dark thoughts. Ishan looked at him through his blurred, tear filled vision to see Shubman smiling at him. The same pretty smile that Ishan loves so much, the smile that gives him life. “You deserve all the love, Meri Jaan, even more than I was ever able to give you.” Shubman said, he wish he was able to reach out his hand and touch his cheek, he wish he was able to kiss all of Ishan's insecurities away and etch in his head that he deserves the world. Only if Shubman was able to give it to him. “Please, don't think otherwise. Your love had always made me feel like the happiest human alive and I would be forever grateful to you for that. I love you.” 

Ishan closed his eyes, fisting his hands together, his nails digging into his palms, so tight that there were little droplets of blood forming on his hand. How can Shubman still think about making him feel better? How can someone be so selfless? Only his Shubman can ever do that. 

“Hamne hamesha sirf aapse pyaar kiya hai.” Shubman mumbled, smiling softly. “Aur hamesha sirf aapse hi karenge, bhale hi hum aapke sath na ho. Aur vaise bhi aapke dil mein to hum hamesha hi rahenge.” 

“I'm sorry.” Ishan choked on his own tears, his voice breaking. It felt like someone was repeatedly stabbing his heart without stopping, twisting the knife deep into his chest. 

“Hey, it's okay. Who knows if we meet again someday.” Shubman chuckled weakly, more than the physical pain, it hurt him to see Ishan crying. That pain was more unbearable, heart-numbingly painful. “In some other life, perhaps. I promise I won't let you go then or neither will you, got it? Now wipe your tears away, I don't want to go with your crying face in my mind.”

“Yes, sir.” Ishan whispered through the knot in his throat, wiping away his tears but they were immediately replaced by fresh ones.

“Okay, I think you both are done with your goodbyes.” The queen sighed deeply. “Kill him now.” 

“It's okay, Ishan, close your eyes.” Shubman mumbled softly, closing his own eyes as the blade inched closer to his neck. 

Ishan also squeezed his eyes shut, his tears still not stopping. He heard the sound of the blade swinging, splashing the place and a bit of Ishan's face with his beloved's blood, it felt burning on his skin. 

Ishan's heart was screaming, wailing in agony but not a single word escaped his throat. His whole body was trembling, tears sliding down his face uncontrollably but he couldn't speak, he wanted to scream, he wanted to cry but he couldn't. It felt like Shubman took his soul away with him, only leaving a breathing yet lifeless corpse. 

“Escort the prince to his room.” The queen ordered. 

Some of the soldiers dragged him away and he let it happen. Defeated. Exhausted. Dead. This was the first time the palace saw their prince like this, their always happy, nice and kind prince who was actually just a broken, lost and lonely man behind the facade everyone seems to believe, since he was a kid. Someone who never experienced any love until his beloved, his Shubman came into his life and became his life. And now he was stripped away from his happiness, his joy, his only reason to live, his love. He might be alive physically but he had already died along with Shubman. 

A small, mirthless smile appeared on his lips as mumbled to himself. "I will be with you soon, Jaan.”

Rooh to hamari unke saath hi chali gayi, sirf jism baaki reh gaya hai. Aur unke bina to ye jism bhi bin taaro ke aasman jaisa hai.

-

Someone please tell me this is not too cliche or melodramatic!!

Also is it sad enough? You know, there's three types of angst, one that you can read with a straight face, one that made your chest hurt but you don't cry and the third one that makes you bawl your eyes out. My favourite is the third one, and I wish for the one I write to be that as well, I don't know if it is already but I hope it will be one day.

Okay, bye-bye for now.
Love ya 💖💌