This is a special chapter. Happy reading. ^ ^

Note: This happens before summer vacation. It is not directly in the story but of course is a part of the story. The chapters are going to be in past tense from now onwards.                                                               

                                                              Ashima

Today our World History teacher was absent. We were given an assignment to do, but of course none of us up to study right now. I checked up on my friends. The boys were dozing off as usual while the girls were busy tapping away on their phones.

"Yooohoo~ Jamie and Zen, wake up!" I shouted in their ears.

"Where in the world did that disgusting voice came from? It was scary." Zen said suddenly sitting up in attention and saw me. "YOU!"

"God bless your future husband. He'll have to go through the ordeal of waking up by your high pitched voice." Jamie said praying to god-knows-what. Ugh, these jerks! Just how dramatic could they be?

"I pretend I didn't hear that."

So I talked to Ayu and Lynda, instead. Through them, I convinced everyone to hang out at our college campus.

"Attention everyone! We almost have forty minutes of our free time left. So how about we utilise it properly." I announced. We sat forming a circle on the green grass under a wide tree. 

"A splendid idea indeed! So what game do you have in mind, miss disturbia?" Lynda squinted her eyes at me.

"It's not a game, but rather a discussion. Each one of us will tell about their heartwarming experience of their first love or crush. How about it? I don't think anyone should have a problem sharing, since its only us." I explained and frowned at their lack of reaction. Their faces looked grave and serious. What the hell?

"Come on Ayu, atleast you can share. It's about first love. How pathetic can it be?" I pleaded.

"But Ashima, I..." Ayu trailed off looking elsewhere. Now I was getting curious. Just what was everyone hiding? I had to find out.

"I'm in." Lynda said, raising her hand. I couldn't believe it. This must be the first time she took my side.

"Thank you, Lynda. Anyone else? Jamie?" I said, looking at him with my puppy eyes.

"Alright, I don't see any harm." Jamie shrugged.

"Yosh! That's three votes. You two have no choice now." I told Zen and Ayu. Both of them gave up with their heads hung low. I clapped in excitement.

Thereafter, we placed a pen on the ground and spun. It was my turn first. Talk about a turn of events. Unfortunately, my experiences were close to null when it came to the love department. I hated it.

"It was just a sweet crush I had in eight grade. There was this guy wearing glasses who sat next to me. His name was Ankit. He was one of our class toppers, but he zeroed it with that cold attitude of his. He rarely talked to anyone, except one boy who was his bestfriend. I tried to be friendly but no avail. I didn't like him at all that time, but one day his best friend invited me for lunch. Of course Ankit was there as well. When I sort of complained about him, his friend told me he was just too shy to talk. That day was the first time I saw Ankit laugh. Slowly but eventually, he opened up to me. I realized I misinterpreted him. He wasn't a bad person. Infact I found him really cute."

"That's when you started liking him." Jamie stated the obvious.

"Yeah, I looked forward to seeing him everyday. I liked whenever we talked and was grateful to be his friend. Ah, those blissful days. He even helped me in my studies sometimes. I so wanted to hug him." I said, hugging myself.

"Creepy." Lynda shot her eyes at me.

"Maybe she has a thing for nerds." commented Zen.

"Okay, you guys can shut up now."

"Did you confess to him?" Ayu asked.

"Hell no! He would have definitely freaked out and I didn't have the guts to." I chuckled. "Okay, my turn is over. Let's roll the pen again."

"Hmm, this game might not be so bad after all," Lynda said. We rolled the pen. It was Jamie's turn.

"Leave him. There's no way a player like him can stumble across true love." Ayu said, making a face.

"Why do you have to label me as a player everytime? I, too had my first love, you know," Jamie defended. Seriously, these two behaved like an old couple at times, since they seem to know each other way too well. Suspicious.

"First love, really? I thought you lost count of how many lovers you had." Zen mocked.

"Do you two really think of me like that? Hey, Ashima, say something." Jamie said, his eyes pleading.

"Hey, let's give him a chance, okay? So who was the lucky girl?"

"Please don't laugh at me."

"Why, was it a teacher?" Zen asked.

"Your cousin." said Ayu.

"A boy." said Lynda and I put my hand in my mouth.

"Seriously?!" Jamie yelled and everyone bursted out laughing.

"We are only kidding, idiot! Be serious, everyone. You can start your story now." Zen said, managing to convince everyone to hear Jamie's story now.

"So I was in eight grade. I met this girl on the internet through mutual friends. We connected on Facebook. It didn't took time for us to get open with each other. We texted each other whole day and sometimes even pulled all nighters. It was crazy. That was the very first time I had a crush. She was clumsy, bubbly, someone who always smiled. After three months we decided to meet in person."

"Go on.." said Lynda, getting interested.

"I bunked my school that day to meet her. Her city was two hours away from mine. When I saw her in front of me... it was like she existed. We spend the day together until evening. She didn't wanna go but I insisted since her place was far. That was a memorable day. We started dating a month after that. We managed to meet at least two times a month. It would either be me visiting her or vice versa. We always used to fool around the city like small kids. We had a great time. At that time I was just an innocent kid who would go as far as kissing a girl..."

"Innocent? Does that word exist in your dictionary?" Ayu pointed out and Jamie narrowed his eyes.

Like I said, this was getting more suspicious.

"Don't interrupt. We were in love and happy. We managed it, despite the distance. Until a few months later, she sort of distanced away from me. She made excuses when I told her to meet and even ignored my phone calls. I asked her what was wrong but she dodged it. I'm guessing she got bored. We contacted less and less until our relationship dried out. We eventually stopped talking. I found out she got into another relationship, days after ours ended. It made me feel heartbroken and unwanted. Like our relationship was nothing but a sham. That's why I tell you, you shouldn't invest too much on relationships. It's a waste of time. Especially long distance."

Never?" Lynda repeated.

"Never. You can make it work for a while, but not for a long time. Unless both of them possess patience of a saint."

"Woah, that was bad experience for a first love." I concluded.

"And then, you met Laura," Zen said, wearing a wicked smile.

Jamie whispered something to him I couldn't hear. Laura, huh? I wonder how many girls he had in his life. Maybe he was a playboy as Ayu stated.

We spinned the pen and it was Lynda's turn this time. 

"So did you possibly experienced a crush or admiration. Anything?" I asked Lynda. Knowing her, she couldn't possibly have.

She blinked her eyes for a second and said it with determination that she indeed experienced it. Everyone was caught by surprise.

"I met him when I was still a child. His name was Kenny. He was very cute especially his big bubbly eyes. He had this big smile on his face whenever he saw me. We became great friends. We used to play outside everyday till late evening. He understood me very well. He was always there for me, whenever I would be sad or alone. Even my parents liked him."

"Wow! That's sounds perfect. Way too perfect." I stated.

"Right. He was so funny though. He would lick my face whenever I hugged him." Lynda giggled.

"Eww, gross." Ayu said, crinkling her nose in disgust.

"I know, but he was so cute, we were together for four years until a fatal disease struck him and he died. He was very special to me. I still miss him to this day." Lynda said, her expression sad.

There was a dead silence.

"Sorry Lynda, we had no idea. It must have been a traumatic experience."

"Yeah it was. I didn't feel like going to school or doing anything else. But I was happy, too. I heard dogs are reborn as humans in their next life," she smiled.

"Yeah, I've heard that myth too... Dogs... WAIT, WHAT?!" I nodded and shrieked in realization.

"I did suspect something was wrong." Jamie mumbled, rubbing his chin.

"You're funny." Zen laughed. "Why didn't you mentioned this earlier?"

"Didn't I mention his name was Kenny?" she said as if it was obvious. I facepalmed. This girl...

"Okay that was a heartfelt story. Next!" I announced.

"No way. I don't want to recall that experience." Ayu refused when the pen marked its tip in her direction, after rotating it twice.

"Oye, you're going to make our efforts go to waste." Jamie said with a grumpy face.

"Come on, this shouldn't be hard for you. You crushed on Alex since high school so obviously he is your first love." I pointed out the obvious.

"That's the thing. Alex wasn't my first love." Ayu coveted her face with her hands.

"You got to be kidding me! You never mentioned anything about this. I thought we were good friends, Ayu." I complained. It does disappoint me that she rarely shares anything personal with me when I do that all the time with her.

"You never asked."

"Fine, now spill the tea. Who was it?"

"I'll conclude this in three sentences," she said displaying three fingers in front of us. "Number one, which is obvious: He was my first love but it didn't work out. He was a jerk."

"Next," Jamie said in a boring voice.

"I've known him since childhood." she now displayed two fingers.

"Wow, childhood love. Golden." My eyes widened.

"And third- Please don't freak out but he's actually my cousin."

"And that my friends was the twist in the story." Zen concluded.

"I don't think there's anything wrong with being in love with your cousin." Jamie shrugged.

"For your kind information, he's the son of a faraway relative. He's my Mother's- Brother's- Wife's- Sister's- Husband's- brother's son." She finished in one breath.

"Okay, we totally got your point. Although I didn't get it at all." Zen said, deep in thought. I let out a small laugh.

"Alright, now care to elaborate it?" Lynda enquired.

"Is it really necessary?"

"Yeah. Atleast in hundred words." I added. Both Lynda and I stared intently at Ayu until she sighed, giving up.

"He lived a few blocks away from our house. Him, his little sister Rashi and me studied in the same school. He is three years older than me while his sister is around my age. The three of us hung out together most of the time. I don't know exactly when or why I liked him. I'm not proud of it. He was such a jerk. A violent kid who caused nothing but trouble wherever he went. He did whatever the hell he liked. But I loved spending time with him nonetheless.

"What was his name?" Zen asked, showing a slight interest.

"Raghav." She replied and continued. "He was feared by people due to his nature, but he was loved, too. He cared deeply for the people closest to him. We sure did some crazy things back then."

"Oh, like what Miss pervert?" Jamie smirked.

"Like making mudcastles, playing hide and seek, going around causing trouble to the adults." Ayu said and smacked on Jamie's head. She glared while he winced in pain. "Not everyone is like you."

"Did Raghav feel the same?" I interrupted.

"He said he did, but his actions spoke otherwise. Sometimes he was nice to me, while at other times he behaved as if I was nothing. I couldn't figure him out. I grew up thinking we would eventually be together. Even my family shipped us, can you believe that? He wasn't very vocal about his feelings but we did kiss a few times so I was sure. Until he left to pursue law in Mumbai and changed completely. It was after that I decided to stop chasing after him and move on."

"Maybe he was too egoistic." Zen pointed. It could be true. Some men have this ego which is bigger than their age.

"Who knows? He kind of betrayed me back then, so I don't fuckin' care. I'm glad I got away from him" Ayu said, her face showcasing anger. I wonder what he really did that infuriated her so but guess that was a question for another time. For now, this was enough.

"So you are the only one left now." Lynda said to Zen.

"Ah, finally the one I've been wanting to hear." Jamie's eyes lit up.

"What do you mean? Does he has something interesting to tell?" Ayu asked.

"Yeah, his affair with his ex-girlfriend."

"Are you serious? You mean this Zen had a girlfriend." Ayu said while poking Zen's head.

"Okay, that's enough Ayu. And You!" he said, glaring at Jamie. "You shouldn't have mentioned about this. I wasn't planning to take part in this stupid discussion anyway."

"And I thought we were in the same boat." I sighed. Atleast Lynda was the same as me when it came to love.

"I'm curious." Lynda said, her eyes sparkling.

Zen shook his head, fully through on his decision.

"Why not? I thought you'd be inspired after listening to my secretive love for a nerd, Jamie's heartbroken long-distance love, Lynda's undying love for a dog and Ayu's love for her violent, childhood friend."

"Hey, what's with giving titles to our stories?" Jamie interrupted and I giggled.

All of us tried to motivate Zen, oblivious of the time passing by. By the time, he was mildly convinced our break was over. We had no choice but to excuse ourselves since Ayu and I had the next class.

The next day.

"This will be the first and the last time I'll tell you about this, so don't bother me afterwards." Zen commanded and all of us nodded. Judging by his taut expression and reluctance, I had a feeling his relationship was a serious and an unfortunate one.

"We were classmates for a long time but we never talked. Although I always noticed her in class. She had long, black hair, fair skin and plump skin. She was a beauty, I tell you that or maybe it only seemed that way to me. She wasn't very sociable either and talked less in class. One day, while heading home as usual, I was searching where she was and got surprised when I found her looking at me, too. It was so embarrassing. We looked away immediately."

"It's like straight from a novel when they say the lines-" I paused and tried to find the right words. "That's when our eyes met for the first time."

"Y-yeah, whatever..." Zen sluttered. Clearly he was embarrassed. It was the first time I saw him like this. Did that mean he still loved this girl?

"Skip the cheesy details. Just tell us why you broke up?" Jamie said, faking a yawn.

"Don't listen to him, Zenny! So when was the first time you two talked?" Ayu said, her eyes sparking interest. 

"In the seventh grade, actually. I was having a terrible headache so I stayed back at the classroom during the sports period. I was keeping my head down when she woke me up. She asked what was wrong and gave me a painkiller from her bag. I thanked her and we shared a smile. That was the first time we talked." Zen smiled at the memory.

"Aw, that's so sweet!" I and Ayu chimed together.

"Although we befriended each other when we were in eighth grade. We happened to attend the same tuition. We exchanged numbers, socials and became friends. One day I plucked up the courage to ask her to spend some time with me. She readily agreed. We skipped tuition and sort of confessed our feelings right then. We started dating right after." Zen took a short breath and continued. "Soon our class found out about us. Some were happy, some found it odd, but I didn't care. I know it seemed ridiculous since we were still too young, but I was deeply in love with her. We were in separate classes in our eleventh grade but still, we made sure to spend time with each other everyday. We even skipped school sometimes. Her family was very protective of her but she was damn good at making excuses. We talked for hours at night. Those were some of our most peaceful and loving days. Although my grades dropped a little." he chuckled.

I stole a glance at everyone. They were listening to him intently without a word in between.

"Things were going great for a long  time until in eleventh grade when her mother found out about us. Although Zoya's sister approved of us, her Mom never did."

"So her name was Zoya. Does that mean...?" Lynda said, her eyes growing wide as she realized.

"Yeah, she is Muslim." Zen finished the statement for her.

"Fuck! This doesn't look like it will end well." predicted Jamie.

"Yeah. After that, our relationship went downhill. Her parents changed her tuition and often snatched her phone. It became very  difficult to communicate. The only place where we could spend time was our school but we skipped classes to go out often. I know it was foolish. You can't blame the adults either. After all, our carriers were on the line. Even my parents insisted to leave her for good and focus on my studies. To tell you the truth, I felt like eloping with her. We even talked about it, but we obviously never did it as we never wanted to leave our family like that." Zen said calmly. He looked at me and raised his brow in a funny way before he continued.

"Zoya kept insisting her parents to approve our relationship. She was being silly because she was doing this at a wrong time. One day her mother visited our house and talked to our family. She said I can be with her on two conditions. First was to change my religion to which I reluctantly agreed but the second condition was what let me off the hook. She told me to marry Zoya right after school."

"That's insane!" Ayu interrupted.

"It wasn't surprising since their family marry off their daughters quite early. Although it was to me. No matter how badly I wanted to be with Zoya, I also wanted to make a secure future for myself and enjoy my youth before that. My parents didn't agree either. I requested her mother to wait till the time I find a good job. Things just became messy from then on. Their family suggested to work in their showroom instead of job." He drew out a long sigh. "The argument dragged on. My parents talked to their parents. Both Zoya and I were scolded often. Can't blame them, they were suffering because of us. But it was so hard to leave someone you love. We stayed for a long time, until I finally decided to end it all. That was last year." He finished in a low voice and looked away.

Last year! That means their relationship lasted for four years. That must have been a lot to take. I couldn't help but feel bad for Zen. I had no idea he went through all of that. My boring school life was way better than this. Maybe we shouldn't have asked him. Everyone was awfully silent.

"It must have been really tough for you." Ayu spoke up, breaking the silence.

"It was a nightmare. I skipped school for more than a week and locked myself in my room for days. I barely ate, I barely slept. I even failed my prelims. It was devastating, but I'm glad I was able to overcome it." He gave a weak smile.

I'm sorry, I had no idea it was this serious. We shouldn't have asked." Jamie said feeling guilty.

"Now why are you apologizing? Please stop making those faces, guys. It's hella annoying." Zen said, pulling Lynda's cheeks. "Not you too, Lynn."

"But my face is always like this." Lynda pouted and every laughed.

The recess got over soon enough and we resumed our classes. My thoughts drifted back to that discussion. Everyone had a different experience of love from the other. Mine was just a simple crush while Lynda has yet to experience one. First love rarely worked out but at the end of day, it made us grow stronger and wiser. Zen's was the most tragic one. I wondered if he would ever be able to experience love, the second time. I hoped he did. After all, no one deserved a bad ending.

So what do you think of this chapter everyone? I hope you enjoyed it. So have you experienced first love or crush? How was it? Do comment and vote.

Take care.  xoxo