--------------PART 4--------------                                                              

Flashback

Two young boys seemed to be in a middle of a fight and it looked like no one could interrupt them at the moment. However it was quite one sided, as the taller boy laid punches on the shorter one, who was on the verge of passing out. The three other boys were lying injured on the ground as they too have fallen victim to the tall boy. The tall boy had a raging look in his eyes as he continued to hit the shorter one and was mumbling something over and over again. The shorter one finally fell to the ground. The taller one got on top of him, his fist all ready to punch him across his face.

"Stop!!" He heard a girl's voice and thus he was interrupted.

The short boy saw this as a chance to escape and crawled under him to get away. "Oh hell, you won't." He snorted and grabbed the short boy's collar.

"Raghav, let him go." The girl said in a commanding tone and gripped his wrist that was about to hit him.

"But Ayu, he- he made fun of my family. I'll won't forgive who-"

"He's not worth it. Let. Him. Go." She repeated in a feisty voice while glaring at him and Raghav finally let him go.

Raghav draped his arm around Ayu as he walked, clutching on to his sore left leg. After they covered some distance, Ayu made Raghav sit on a rock to let him recover for a while.

Hastily, she took out some bandages from her jeans pocket and began applying them in places where he was hurt. Raghav was quite surprised.

"You bought them? Ouch!" He asked as groaned in pain but she didn't answer. He could sense that she was mad at him. If anything, he couldn't stand Ayu silent attitude towards him. "But it was their fault, they started it all." He grumbled.

"Here, done." Ayu said as she finished tying up the handkerchief around his sore ankle. She turned around to leave when Raghav stopped her by her arm. 

"I- uh, sorry." He admitted, nervously. "I won't do it again." He added.

Ayu crinkled her nose as she looked back at him. "You said the same last time and the previous time too. Convince yourself first, you dumbass." 

"You of all people should understand." He said in a low voice.

"And I do Raghav. Tell me, does picking a fight with others makes you feel good? It might be to a moron like you. But I'm telling you this, no matter what people say, no matter what you ever do, it won't change what happened." Ayu said and stood next to him still holding on to his palm. "It won't bring your father back." She whispered softly.

"I know, I know. It's just sometimes... I can't... cope up." He said, as his face contorted into grief. He looked at her helplessly while Ayu looked back, their faces showing emotion, until Ayu pulled him to his arms . 

"It will be alright." She said as she soothed him.

...

                                                           AYU

Ugh! Seriously, who the hell gave the idea of having exams? I'm seriously going to sue that bastard in hell." I complained to my books and pushed them aside my table in frustation. Here I was, sitting in my own bedroom, preparing for my upcoming semester exams. This would be my final semester, after which, I will officially graduate from college. I stretch my arms and lay my head down on the table. "Already over huh!" I muttered to myself as I fixed my eyes on pen stand beside me. I began to recall the precious days I spent in college. My first day in college, making friends, those boring yet humorous lectures, the world history class- no, not that. The annual festival, my stage performance, that night when we- no, no, NO...

"The hell!" I cursed getting up from my study table, annoyingly. I came to a conclusion that even reminiscing about my college days is a dangerous idea. It would only lead me to think about him. Alright Ayu, that's enough. I'm so not in the mood to cry once again. I will not cry...

"Bohoo!" A voice yelled from behind disturbing my train of thoughts, making me jump.

"You scared me, idiot." I said to Raghav and nudged him on his shoulder. For once, just for once, I was glad that he interrupted me at the right time. Anything to distract me from that.

"I intended to, actually. Here-" He said as he took out two ice-cream cups from the plastic bag and threw one of them to me.

I mumble a small 'thanks' and noticed that he has bought butterscotch, which is my favorite. I open the cover and start to eat, the cold cream melting right into my mouth.

"Do you realize how long you have locked up inside this room? It's been four hours. You need to take a break." He insisted after we finished with eating ice-cream.

I don't need a break. "Yeah but, I have so much to cover up." I lied when I was already done with one of the subjects. Luckily, we only had three subjects this time and one giant project to present to, but it didn't help me with the whole distraction thing. Talk about bad timing.

"No, you're coming with me outside and that's final." He said with amusement and dragged me out of my room.

I let out a small sigh and accompanied him outside. We were walking quietly into the night when I heard Raghav humming a tune from one of the recent Bollywood songs.

"Okay Raghav, you're seriously creeping me out. What's with you and your extra nice attitude these days?" I enquired.

"What's your problem? Do I need for us to be fighting to start a conversation? I just happened to be in a jolly mood." He chimed.

"Oh-kay!" I gulped still finding it strange. Sometimes I think, he might be suffering from bipolar disorder.

"Oh yeah!" Raghav snapped, clapping his hand with his fist. "Do you remember Adhi, the one from our school? He used to play with us sometimes."

"Uh, maybe. Are you talking about the infamous student who once locked the vice- principal inside?" I asked hestantly, trying to remember.

"The only one." He chuckled. "He got a job on Infosys. That too in the main branch." 

"NO WAY! That Adhi." I widened my eyes at him. "Oh my God! What will happen to the rest of us?" I whined. This world is so unfair... in so many ways.

"Oh, don't fret it. I'm sure this world has atleast one engineering job to fit in for you." He mocked and I frowned.

Suddenly he stopped walking and faced me, his face getting a little serious. "Are you still bothered about not getting your campus placement? There are plenty of chances, you know."

"No, I'm not bothered in the least." I said as a matter of factly. I had applied for placement in order to get a job three months ago. I was majorly distracted at that time so I already knew what the outcome would be. I wasn't sad because I knew that it was my fault. I was just disappointed because no matter what went on with my life earlier, I never let it affect my studies except for this time.

"You're still not over him, are you?"  He spoke with malice.

Not again. "If I recall, it was you who started all this. If only you hadn't interrupted between us." I pointed my finger on him.

He rolled his eyes. "Oh for God sake Ayu, when will you ever get past this?" He said, his eyebrows scrunched together as he took a step closer to me. "It's almost been six months now. If he wanted to, he could have tried to contact you, he could have come back for you, but he didn't. Don't you at least have a little self respect in you. Fine, you can blame me all you want but tell me this. If you would have told him the truth instead of me, then would you two still be together? Can you guarantee that he still wouldn't have left you because he felt insecure?

"Who knows? He might not have left-" I dropped my voice almost to a whisper. 

"Ayu, just accept the fact that he left you. He is gone. It proves that he didn't had the guts to fight for you and left you broken like this. After all that you might have done for him, I don't think he deserved you." He explained and I raised my brow at him but he continued as if reading my mind. "No, don't think that I'm telling you so that you can acknowledge me or something. I'm just telling you this as a friend right now." He defended and I snickered.

I didn't want to admit but somewhere he might be right. Jamie might have still left me. I really should stop bothering myself with him anymore. After what he said, there's no way that I'm going back to him even if it kills me inside.

"Let's go back." I said bitterly.

"Alright!" He nodded as he walked up to reach where I stood and suddenly squeezed my hand lightly. As if on reflex, I immediately jerked it away from him.

"I- uh... let's check if any shops are open. I want to buy biscuits." I said while faking a laugh. Well, this is awkward. Holding hands was a normal gesture between us. There was nothing romantic about it, at least from me, but this time it was like my body automatically rejected it. Well, what does he expect? As if I can forget the way he forcibly kissed me that time.

"You know, I'm trying. Trying to make up for that day but you're not letting me. You seriously get on my nerves sometimes." He said irritably while running his hands through his hair.

"Then don't try. Its not like I forced you to." I shrugged. The only reason I'm still on the talking terms with him is due to that stupid arrangement and also because he had apologised for that day, and somewhat promised to treat me properly from then on. Well, so far he is doing fine. He stopped abusing me altogether. It's not like I believe in his promise or any promise for that matter. That word no longer held any meaning for me. I just go along with the flow.

"But I will try for your sake." He said with a faint smile and pulled me into his arms making my body tense. "You know, you're the only one who can understand me. No other girl can do that. When it comes to you, I don't have to fake myself. I haven't been very good but I will try to be since you kinda deserve it. Please just let me give you a chance."

"Don't pull back Ayu, don't pull back." I kept chanting in my mind. I have to get used to this in someway or the other. Although I was a little taken aback at what he said. Usually, he's the type of person who rather not talk about relationships or admit the truth. Can I really hope that he will improve? I don't know...  Hope is yet another useless word.

"Okay, let's see what happens." I said trying to make it sound cool while patting him on his shoulder. Finally he pulled away from me. Thank God!

"Aww! Would you look at that? Getting cozy, aren't you?" One of the two ladies from our neighborhood who probably saw the whole embracing act spoke.

"You've clearly misunderstood. We were just sort of talking. Weren't we, Ayu?" He said and eyed me to say something.

"Yeah! You're misunder-"

The other lady laughed loudly cutting me off. "Its a long night indeed." They commented before walking away from us. For a second, I saw Raghav smiling to himself, blissfully.

I rolled my eyes. Oh great, really great! Just the thing I needed to add spice to my already miserable life. Everyone will probably know about this tomorrow and the adults will start teasing me for their own entertainment. I have probably said this a million times but I'll say it again: My life sucks, big time.

"You know what? Let's go to that shop already. I want to buy some." He said looking elsewhere. By some, he definitely meant cigarettes.

I cleared my throat on purpose. "Talk about improvement." 

...

After two days, I went to Delhi and gave my final exams. I  was staying at Ashima's house at her request. It was good to meet Ash and Lynda after a long time. I really missed them. I even got to meet Martha and Zen.  All of them have been constantly supporting me during the times when I was down. I was grateful to have such friends.

Back in my hometown, when I used to attend school before ninth grade, I didn't had many friends. More like I couldn't. I mostly used to hang out with Raghav and his sister. Many people respected him while some of them feared him. He wasn't much of a fighter but some people who were on his bad side spread disturbing rumors about him making the situation much worse. Everyone knew how close I was to Raghav. So in turn they avoided me too. I didn't minded that much because I chose to be by his side at that time. He was going through a rough time. Although I did try to befriend some of my classmates but it didn't turn out well. All they ever did was make fun of me and pretended to be my friend. In the end I left them. The only kids I interacted with were Raghav friends and the ones from my neighborhood. I hated school at that time. That was one reason why I left my hometown to pursue my studies in Delhi. 

Soon after my final semester ended, we had our farewell party. I wasn't in the mood to attend this but Ashima and Lynda forced me to. I didn't even had a saree so Ashima lend me one of her's. I know, I should be dressing up for myself but I didn't felt the need to. Back when Jamie and I were still together, he promised to come at this day. He used to talk about how badly he wanted to see me in a saree. Will he come? No, there's no way he would. 

I bid my farewell to my friends and my college which held countless memories for me, good and bad. I'll never forget it.

Ashima, Lynda and I went to a decent club afterwards to have our own little private party. We had dinner along with some drinks and discussed about our future ahead and life in general. Lynda seems to have gotten her hands in job offers already since she has been really good with computers, both hardware and software but she says she wants to pursue something different. I think her mind had already set up on what she wants. Somehow, I had a good feeling about this. Ashima on the other hand has scored average. She feels really disappointed. I assured her that it wasn't really as bad as she thinks and she should stop dwelling on it. I'm sure she will get a job if she sets her mind to it.

By the time Ashima and I bid farewell to Lynda, our eyes were already getting wet. We laughed and cried at the same time, it wasn't even funny anymore. Girls are so over dramatic sometimes even though I'm one of them. I returned to Ashima's house and soon called the night.

I was lying on the bed, next to Ashima. Surprisingly, she excused herself saying that her mother is calling to talk about something. I guessed it was some family matter so I didn't pry further. Soon it was me, my bed and my pitiful thoughts. I hate nights and I hated being alone. Because that would mean thinking about unnecessary things, grieving over something that wasn't mine to begin with, leading to sleepless and weeping nights. It was like a nightmare in itself.

People say that morning is a way to look forward for another day but for me it looked like I was only waking up to a lonely day, yet another day without him. I had nothing to look forward to. I would keep ensuring myself that I have my family and friends which would make me feel better but only for a short amount of time. Thinking about being with Raghav is another nightmare altogether. Most of my days would go like that. I would do things to keep me busy, would try not to think about it the whole day and would finally break down at night. Even my parents were worried about me but I couldn't tell them even if I wanted to. It's only been a few months but it felt like years to me. I felt like I was already growing older and there were only a few more years left to live. It was like an endless cycle repeating itself. I wonder if I'll ever be able to break this cycle. I heard people eventually move on with their heartbreak, I wonder when my time will come?

There's something I've been meaning to ask him ever since we broke up. If only I could see him again but it was too late for that. 

"Instead, I want to hate you, so that I can forget you quickly but no matter how hard I try, I just can't. I'm not even close to hating you.There's just so much history between us, so many moments to get past through. Why can't I forget you? What have you done to me? Why I'm still... in love with you?"

The tears won't even come out anymore, they have already dried up. It's good that I feel sleepy because I was dead tired. After a few lingering minutes, I finally closed my eyes.

Soon, I returned to my own world of dreams. Dreams where anything is possible. I dreamt of Jamie being there next to me, his genuine smile lightening the world around me. It felt like he came back and I hugged him ever so tight, begging him not to go. He hugged me back but didn't say anything.

"Please don't go, stay with me. I can't bear to live without you like this." I kept pleading but he was already disappearing, slowly becoming one with the background. He brought his face close my forehead and kissed it.

Before vanishing completely though, he said something which surprised me a little. His voice was shaking as he said that. It felt so real. Eventually, I woke up to find a sleeping Ashima next to me. I checked the time on my mobile that was kept at the bedside table. It was three. I touched my forehead with my hand and frowned. I was slightly disappointed, I don't know why. I guess for a moment I was hopelessly wishing for that dream to be true.

                                                 -----------------------

                                                          JAMIE

"Thanks Ash, I'll never forget this." I whispered to her as she let me inside her apartment without her parent's notice. It was almost midnight. Talk about crazy.

"You don't have to thank me, Jamie. I don't know exactly what happened between you two because she never talked about it freely but deep down, I want things to change back to the way it was." She said and I could see a flicker of emotion in her eyes. Why does everyone has to be so pitiful to me? I didn't like it. It makes me feel bad even.

I turned my face away from her so that she couldn't see. "That won't happen." I said, my voice low. Once something sets to change it can never revert back. We fell silent, the only sound being that of the clock in the living room slowly ticking away until she pushed my back a little, motioning me to go. "Just so you know, my parents usually come out of their rooms, for this." She said while flashing out her pinky finger and I restrained myself from letting out a laugh. "Be careful." She winked and I nodded.

I don't know what motivated me enough to make me come here. One of the reasons was to re-unite with all my friends for old times sake because I was pretty bored for the past few days. I mean, I just lost my job. Well, I did that on purpose since the timing and the place wasn't suiting well with me. I wanted to take a short break and so I ended up coming here.

But deep down, even I knew why I wanted to come here.

I just wanted to see her. To see how she's doing with my very own eyes.

Its been more than six months and I've done pretty well surviving without even hearing her voice. I think I deserve a little credit for that.

I tiptoed my way towards Ashima's room where Ayu was. Oh my God! This is so fucking creepy. I feel like a crazy stalker now. There's no way in hell I'm following that bastard's footsteps. This is just an exception, right? 

Fortunately, the door was open partially. The first thing that striked me was the blue dim light coming from the small bulb at the right corner. I smiled instinctively. She never liked to sleep in a completely dark room. We used to argue about it since I was unable to sleep with the lights on. I caught a sight of her sleeping, her body turned sideways. I felt relieved, so relieved.

I slide myself on the empty side of the bed, her front facing me. At this point, I don't really mind being called as a creepy stalker at night because anything was worth seeing her. My heart swelled at the sight of her. Her figure was basked in the moonlight coming from the window just behind the bed. She took soft breaths in between as she slept. Her silky dark brown bangs fell elegantly on the front and her small palms were left wide open in a way like it wanted me to hold them. And so I did. I intertwined my fingers with her's loosely making sure she doesn't wake up. Her touch was warm and welcoming. I almost forgot about it. Damn you Ayu! I missed you so terribly. You made me go through hell for the past few months.

I brought my head a little closer to her's and closed my eyes still holding on to her hand. That was the most I could do right now. I had a strong urge to hug her though. It's a good thing that she is a deep sleeper. I remained like this for a while until I heard her mumble something I couldn't hear.

Funny, I don't recall her talking in her sleep. I wonder what she was saying.

"Jamie-" She whispered softly and a lone tear fell off my eyes. For a moment I thought that she saw me but when I glanced at her, she was still sleeping.

I distanced myself separating my hand from her's. I finally got to hear her voice but her face looked pained when she said that. Why Ayu, why? I thought you hated me. Didn't you said that yourself. You should have been over me by now. I didn't mean to break you like this. I'm such a horrible person.

"Don't... go..." She mumbled between her breaths while frowning a little and I buried my face in the pillow. Please say no more, I can't bear this. It will just make it harder for me to let you go.

"You're one hopeless girl." I whispered. Ah! I think its time for me to go. Ashima would want to sleep too. I looked at her, one more time. Her face looked like she was about to cry but she was still in a deep slumber.

Slowly, I approached her and kissed her forehead gently, my eyes getting wet. "I will always, always love you, no matter what. Remember that Ayu." I whispered to her ear, my voice slightly shaking. I held her hand until I noticed her head moving slightly. Quickly, I exited her room.

"Are you sure you want to leave her like this? You didn't even talk to her." Zen asked, after we left Ashima's house.

 I hope we never cross paths again. "Yes, I have to keep her word after all." I said giving away a small, sad smile.

                                         ---------------------------------------

For those who don't know saree is a traditional dress worn by the Indian women on special occasions. I personally love them, I only wore them two times though. Moving on to the chapter... What are your thoughts? About Raghav, about Ayu, about everything going on? I hope, I didn't overdid the drama. Sometimes, I think, I'm being overdramatic with the story on these chapters. 

There's another thing I want to ask you... it's a small question. Should I include the part showing about Ayu and Raghav's past, specifying how he cheated and all? I can't decide. Is it necessary? I know it's a stupid question to ask you guys but just tell me. 

Next chapter is where the main part will begin. Don't forget to vote and comment. Love you all.