Faith

"Hey babe, I won't be able to come over tonight. It's John's birthday and I had totally forgotten about it. Really sorry, I'll make it up to you tomorrow, yes?"

I read his text and sigh. It's been over a dozen times Greg has done this over last few weeks. I have tried to be understanding, but I am running out of patience now.

I had turned down plans with Rosie and my girls for tonight because I had already agreed to Greg coming over. But, he ditched me yet again.

I am tired of this now. I decide to ignore him till he apologizes for his behaviour. He cannot just back out from a plan made over a week ago, and inform me when we are to meet in half an hour. He's left me hanging in restaurants so many times now, thankfully tonight I am just home.

I decide to call Rosie and see if I can still catch up with them.

"Hey Faith"

"Hey Rosie, where are you guys headed tonight? Can I join you?"

"I thought you had plans with Greg tonight. Did he bail out again?"

"Yeah, I am just tired of him. Can I please join you girls?"

"Of course. I'll text you the address. We're already on the way."

"Thanks babe, I'll see you there"

"Wait, listen Faith. I think you should keep a check on Greg, I don't get good vibes from him lately. And he always keeps ditching you. His behaviour seems kinda shady to me."

"He's just started taking me for granted I guess. After all it's been over two years now since we're together. I will talk to him about this, but later. Right now I just want to relax."

"Just keep an eye on him, honey. I don't want you to get hurt, that's all"

"You worry too much Rosie. It's fine, really."

"Okay then. I am sending you the address. See you soon."

"Yep, see ya!"

After about twenty minutes, I park my car near the club that Rosie and girls are at. I fix my hair and makeup and take a look at myself in rear view mirror one last time before leaving. But, I see a familiar face in the reflection.

I turn around and watch Greg with a blonde. What's he doing here? Ohh, they might be celebrating John's birthday here. But, who's that girl with him?

I decide to call out to him but before I can say anything, my voice gets stuck in my throat. My eyes nearly pop out as I watch Greg pull her closer into a kiss.

Before I understand how to react, they get inside his car and start leaving. My throat goes dry and my head spins, but my heart... it's already broken into a million pieces.

Is Greg cheating on me?

The thought seems revolting and my insides feel like they will come out of my mouth, along with everything else I ate today.

I text Rosie.

"Rosie, is John or anybody else from our class in there?"

I sit back in the car and wait for her response.

"No babe. But, I think I saw someone who looked a lot like Greg. I am not sure though, as I am already five drinks down."

So, she saw him too. That bastard!

I start my car and drive towards his place. I hope he has taken that girl there. I want to catch him red handed. I pull up outside his house and his car is parked outside. So, he's in there. I take the key to his apartment out from my bag and head inside his place, trying to be as quiet as possible. I have never used this key ever since he gave it to me an year ago, but I guess there's always a first to everything. And, probably last.

I reach outside his room and hear Rosie's intuition and my fears materialising into reality. I hear his voice and her moans. I feel disgusted to the core.

I dial his number. I can hear the bell ringing. Then, I hear shuffling voices from inside, followed by swearing.

He disconnects the call and texts me, "I am at a club babe, music is too loud. I'll call you when I reach home?"

Lies.

I text back immediately, "Call me back now or don't call me ever again"

I hear him swearing again. I open the door slightly to hear him better, but I don't have the courage to peep in yet.

"Who is it?," I hear the girl ask.

"My dumb girlfriend. She's so damn nagging all the time. I'll have to call her back. Just give me a minute okay"

At least he's not lying to her about having a girlfriend.

I get a call from him. I shut the door and answer it.

"What happened princess? Are you okay?", he fakes his concern.

Lies.

"No I'm not okay. Where are you?"

"I am with John and guys at a club, I told you already."

Lies.

"I just met John. He said there's no party tonight"

"No No babe, not John from our class, John from my basketball team."

Lies.

"Which club are you at?"

"The one across the restaurant we had our first date at."

"Ohh, I am at the same one, with Rosie and girls. I am at the entrance. Come see me?"

"Did I say our first date? I meant our latest date."

Lies.

"Hey babe, sorry but John is going to cut the cake, I have to go. Bye, love you"

Lies. Lies. Lies. 

Do they ever end?

I hang up and open the door again.

"She asks too many questions", the blonde says.

"It's a first actually. She never asks anything. That's why I call her dumb. It's been four months since you and I are hanging out and she doesn't have a single clue yet", he boasts about his infidelity so proudly.

I have had enough of this. 

"Looks like I do have some clue after all", I say as I open the door to two naked, shameless people.

The blonde has some decency to at least pull the covers over her, but Greg just stands there with his jaw dropped to the floor. He is speechless.

"So, the dumb girlfriend isn't as dumb as you thought", I say.

But you are dumb, says the small voice in my head and I mentally cringe. Before he can cook a new lie to defend himself, I need to end this nonsense.

"Have fun, you two. And consider us over, asshole," I say as I throw his key at him and storm out of his house.

I am about to enter my car as he storms out behind me, wearing his boxers now. He pulls my hand, closes the car door behind me and pins me to the car.

I try to yank myself out of his grip, but he is way too strong for me. In an instant, he smashes his lying piece of mouth on my lips in a forceful kiss. I try to jerk him away but he doesn't budge. His filthy lips leave my mouth and find my neck as his grip on me relaxes. 

"So soft", he mumbles. 

I shudder with disgust. I finally gather all my strength and push him away from me, slapping him hard on his face.

"Stay away from me, you lying piece of disgusting shit. I want nothing to do with a fucking cheater like you. Go back to your smart fuck buddy waiting in your bed."

He looks shocked at my outburst. What was he expecting? That I'll melt by his disgusting touch? Retard.

"And, never touch me again. If you ever lay another finger on me, I will have you arrested for molestation," I spit my words in his face angrily and turn away from the living nightmare my fairytale turned into.

I get inside my car quickly, leaving him forever for good. I drive back towards my place, but his words keep playing on loop in my head.

My dumb girlfriend. She's so damn nagging all the time.

She doesn't have a single clue yet.

It's been four months you and I are hanging out.

Four months? For four months, I was living a lie.

Lies. Lies. Lies.

How couldn't I see it? Right, because I am dumb.

Dumb. Dumb. Dumb.

My head begins spinning as angry tears start blurring my vision. The sky starts getting cloudier and in a few minutes it starts raining heavily. My vision gets more blurry and before I realise, everything goes black and a loud thud rings in my ears.

But, his voice still doesn't stop playing on loop in my head.

Dumb. Dumb. Dumb.

__________

"Faith...", I hear someone call out my name in the darkness.

"Wake up, Faith. It's just a bad dream," a gentle but cold pair of hands shake me and pull me out of the darkness.

I sit up immediately and find Joy crouching beside me, with a tense look on his face. 

I was dreaming of that accident again. After so many months. Looks like one monster reminded my brain of another one. I should have taken Karate more seriously the first time. When will I learn to defend myself against these heavy monsters?

"Are you alright, Faith?", Joy asks, his eyes full of concern.

"Yeah I am fine Joy, just a bad dream," I tell him and he nods. Is he a monster in hiding too?

He sits down beside me and continues to look at me with his pitiful eyes. I don't need his pity. I don't need anybody's pity. I look away from him.

"I understand", he says. "Even I have started getting awful nightmares ever since we're stuck here," he says.

I look back at him surprised and watch him lost in his thoughts. He almost looks pained.

"What are they about?," I ask curiously.

He looks at me, as if deciding whether or not to tell me.

"Just bad memories," he says and looks away.

What bad memories could he be hiding? Did someone hurt him too? Is that why he puts up a cocky and casanova image? Because he clearly doesn't behave like one, majority of the time. Maybe he isn't a monster after all. He has never seemed like one. But, even Greg didn't, and I was clearly wrong about him. Why is it so difficult for me to judge people correctly? 

"What about you?," he asks, breaking my chain of thoughts.

"Same. Bad memories," I tell him.

He nods silently.

"How are you feeling now? Is pain any better?", he asks me.

"Yes, better, but still hurts", I inform him.

"Will you be able to walk?," he asks me.

"I am not getting out of here, Joy. I told you. Not yet."

"I understand, Faith. But, we need to get firewood and food before evening, and I cannot leave you alone here," he says looking into my eyes, the pitiful look gone and replaced by something else I can't comprehend.

He's right though. We need wood for light and for keeping warm. It will get darker and cooler in here once the sun is down. And, he must be hungry now. It's been a few hours since I came in here. I don't feel like eating anything though, I think I will throw up if I eat anything. And I don't want to stay here alone either, it's best to go along with him.

"Okay, let's go. Walking shouldn't be a problem," I agree to him and we both walk out of the cave.

I feel so uncomfortable wearing his jersey out here in light, more than I felt inside the cave. It reaches almost to the mid of my thighs but the shoulder keeps slipping off.

Joy seems to sense my discomfort as he goes towards the clothes he had washed, but they are still wet. So, we continue our walk towards the forest.

We cross the rock where that man appeared out of nowhere this morning. He isn't here anymore. What did Joy do with him? He said he took care of it. Should I ask him? Do I really want to know?

No, I don't think I want to know. And, Joy said I am safe now, so he must have done something about it. I trust him. Strangely though. I haven't been able to trust anyone after Greg. I stopped making new friends. Even if I tried, I couldn't trust anyone. I think he gave me some major trust issues.

Joy walks a step ahead of me, as we enter the forest. He probably already knows I will feel more comfortable if his eyes won't be on me during the walk.

He is just so thoughtful sometimes, in situations like these, so much different from Greg.

Greg never gave a damn about how I am feeling, even when we were in the honeymoon phase of our relationship. I shouldn't have overlooked all those red flags. And, I should have listened to Rosie more often. She warned me so many times about him, even during the beginning. She always judges people correctly. 

I wonder what will be her opinion about Joy.

Joy collects a lot of firewood and fruits, probably to reduce the number of trips in future. On our way back, we also pick up more of neem leaves and turmeric roots. In less than half an hour, we are back to the cave.

We settle down and he starts working on the medicine again. I pick up my scarf and start working on a makeshift dress. I need it desperately now after my red one has been tattered badly. I finally get an idea and start working on it.

By evening, Joy has finished with the medicine preparation and I have something like a dress ready to be tried on.

He's sitting by the opening of the cave, looking at the ocean waves and lost in his own world. I guess I'll have to ask him to leave or stay turned towards the ocean for trying the dress out.

After what happened this morning, I don't know if it even makes sense to feel so vulnerable around him. He's already seen me at my worst: totally broken down, terrified and helpless. But all through it, he was so gentle with me, so patient with my insecurities, especially when he took care of me.

When he first saw me, I thought I would see disgust in his eyes. Or even worst, pity.

But all I saw was pure concern.

His eyes never left mine to go down towards my damaged clothes, instead he gave me his t-shirt to cover up. Then he tended to my wounds with so much sincerity, I was surprised. Not just by him, but by myself too.

I was amazed with how much of my body I was willing to let him tend to. And his touch never felt out of place or malicious, all I could sense was care and gentleness. 

And, perhaps desire? But that's probably just my female hormones making me imagine things.

Lately, I feel a strange desire to maintain skin contact with him all the time, and him staying shirtless isn't helping at all. Every time his strong muscled arms move one rock over the other to grind the herbs, or his back flexes, I get a sudden urge to caress those muscles with my fingers, to feel them against my bare skin.

"Looks like your sewing kit finally came to good use", Joy says, breaking my train of thoughts. 

He takes the dress from my hands and examines it. I was so busy imagining how amazing it would feel to touch his body, that I failed to notice when he came here and sat by my side.

I give him a little smile.

"How does it look?," I ask him.

"Why don't you try it on? We'll find out how it looks then? I'll wait outside", he hands the dress back to me and walks out.

Once I am done changing, I decide to go out and show it to him. It's been whole day since I am inside this cave, busy in self-loathing. I think I should get some fresh air.

As I walk out, I notice him gathering the dried clothes from the rock nearby. When he turns around, he almost freezes. Guess he wasn't expecting me out here.

"How does it look?," I ask him again.

His eyes travel over my body, not making me self conscious like they should, but instead making me nervous.

"Beautiful," he says and gives me a smile that lights up his eyes, instead of his signature smirk that I expected.

"Thanks," I mutter and look away towards the ocean, suddenly feeling my cheeks warm up. It suddenly feels hot out here, in spite of the chilly winds that are blowing today.

I sit down on a large rock and turn my attention to the waves. They are larger today, stronger and almost violent against the rocks that they keep hitting over and over again.

Joy comes over and sits beside me, leaving the clothes nearby, under some pebbles. We sit silently and enjoy the whistling winds and crashing waves. Suddenly, I feel a drop of water falling on my forehead. Then, another. And, another.

Before we react, it starts pouring so heavily that our walk back to the cave leaves us both drenched to the core. The cloudy sky keeps getting darker by the minute and rain is soon accompanied by a full blown thunderstorm and lightening.

And, now we've nothing dry to change into, because the sudden rain ended up wetting all of our clean clothes again.

________

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