Joy

I stand tall over the fallen beast of a human in front of me. My knuckles hurt from breaking his face and probably, his ribs too, though I am not sure about them. He is soaking in pool of his own blood now, but his devilish heart is still beating.

I wish I could kill him. I so damn want to break every little bone in his soulless body, slowly and painfully, and then feed him to hungry, wild animals. But, I just can't. I can't kill him because that would make me a monster too. Just like him. And, I don't want to be a monster.

My head is spinning, and my jaw is throbbing from the punch he landed on me, but this physical discomfort feels nothing compared to the anguish burning like fire inside me. The fire that was lit up by tears that fell one by one from Faith's beautiful midnight black eyes on her pale cheeks.

Damn it!

I feel so fucking awful. She had called me for help, screamed... and I thought I was dreaming? How stupid, Joy? How fucking lame and irresponsible?!

Now, how am I going to face her? Just yesterday, she said she felt safe beside me, and today, I let her down. I couldn't keep her safe. I was just a few yards away and I had no clue how much danger she was in.

I need to find her, comfort her, tell her how strong she is. She can't let this affect her.

But first, I need to do something about this monster. She won't have to see him, I won't even let his shadow come near her ever again.

_________

"Faith..."

"Where are you Faith?"

"Please come out sweetheart. It's safe now. I am here."

"Faith..."

I scream her name out repeatedly but I don't see her. Her footprints stop where the spread of the rocks start, between the foothill and the ocean. She probably sped away while still jumping over these rocks.

That's one clever way to escape so that monster couldn't have found her if he had overpowered me.

Faith and her plans are so amazing.
Always thinking one step ahead.

I keep calling out her name as I jump over the rocks, the waves keep splashing over them every few seconds. This end of the hill slope is steep and rocky, unlike the other gradual one that faces our usual side of the beach. I keep hopping over rocks until I hear hushed sobs coming from somewhere.

"Faith..."

The sobs stop.

Where is she? Why can't I see her?

"Faith.. Where are you? Can I come to you please? I need to see if you're okay."

I hear another muffled sob. My chest feels like it will explode with guilt.

"I promise no one will hurt you now, Faith. I took care of it."

I try to reassure her, but still get no response from her. Even the sobs are silent now.

"Please Faith, I am worried about you. I need to see you. Please let me see you." I try to plead with her.

"No.", I hear a feeble but determined voice coming from behind a huge rock that is practically the part of the foothill, except one small gap on the side that isn't visible until you look closer.

"Why not, Faith? It's just me here, nobody else."

I start walking towards the gap slowly, not wanting to startle or scare her.

"Just go away. Leave me alone", she says and I hear those sobs again.

Damn it.

"No. I am not going anywhere Faith. I will wait here till you are ready to see me."

She doesn't respond for a few minutes, so I sit down on another rock just nearby it, waiting.

"Joy...?", her feeble voice whispers my name after what feels like an eternity.

"I am here Faith", I assure her.

I am not leaving her alone. Not after today.

She sighs.

"I can't let you see me, Joy. Not like this." She stresses on "this" and that's when my light bulb turns on.

Her clothes.

That fucking bastard!

Of course she doesn't want me to see her.

"Do you trust me, Faith?", I ask, not even realising I am holding my breath as I wait for her response.

"Hmm, but...", she says but I cut her off.

"Then let me help you, Faith. Please."

"I can't... I just can't. Please Joy, don't force me!", she pleads.

I sigh.

"You know I'll never do that, Faith", I try not to let my tone show how her words affect me.

"Go. Away. Joy." She says, her anguished voice digging holes in my soul.

"You can't stay hidden forever Faith", I try not to sound irritated. I know she is hurt, probably vulnerable too, but she is being irrational now. She knows I will never harm her.

"Just leave. Please." Her voice almost quivers, like she is on the verge of breaking down.

So stubborn.

I get up and walk towards her.

"Faith, you know I am not going to leave you alone. You have to let me help you. If I make you feel uncomfortable in any way, you're free to give a tight slap on my face."

She doesn't respond. I am going to take that as a yes. I just hope I don't end up getting slapped.

"I am stepping towards you, Faith. When you see me, I want you to look into my eyes and hold that gaze okay? Can you do that?"

"I-I don't know, Joy", she sounds so broken.

"You can, Faith. You're stronger than this."

I hear her sobbing again.

"Hey hey, don't do that please. You're fine. You're safe now. I won't let you be harmed again. Okay? Now, please wipe your tears for me and look up. I am coming in."

The sobs stop and I hear some shuffling behind the rock. When the movement stops, I step towards the gap between the foothill and the rock.

What I expected was seeing a disturbed Faith squeezed into a small space behind the rock.

What I saw was.... something else.

There was no Faith, and certainly no small space, instead there was a large hollow in the foothill.

Faith discovered a cave?!

My eyes try to look for Faith, but I can't see her from out here. So I enter the big hollow space. It's not big like a spacious room or something, but big enough to allow two people to sleep comfortably with a bonfire in the corner or at the entrance.

This could be our temporary home.

I walk a few steps inside. The height is just enough that I can stand without bumping my head against the roof.

My eyes start looking for Faith as I keeping stepping ahead. It's a bit darker in here due to that rock partially blocking the opening, but it's not too dark. My eyes take a few moments to adjust before they finally find Faith.

She is sitting huddled in a corner, her back against the cave's wall, her shaky hands holding her bare knees closer to her chest in an almost failed attempt to cover herself. Her teary eyes find mine, just as I had requested and I make sure not to let my eyes wander anywhere else as soon as I look into them. I cover the distance between us quickly and sit by her side, my body turned towards the wall she is facing, eyes still fixed on hers.

I want to hug her, to comfort her, to wipe away her tears, but she won't let me. She won't let me touch her and I don't want to push her to do what she is not comfortable with. But I have to make her feel better. I have to do something.

My hands reach the hem of my white t-shirt and in a swift motion I take it off and straighten it. She gets panicked by my sudden movement as her body inches away from me but her eyes don't break our gaze.

I blink at her, in a reassuring manner and extend my arms towards her, but this time she doesn't move away. I slide my t-shirt over her head, making sure not to touch her, all while still looking into her ocean deep eyes.

Her tears have stopped falling but her body is still tensed from our proximity.

I close my eyes and turn my face forward, so that when I reopen them I am facing the wall. In the corner of my eye, I see her covering herself as she pulls my t-shirt further down.

"Umm... Joy... than-...", she tries to mumble but I cut her off again.

"Don't mention it. How are you feeling? Does it hurt somewhere? Can I help?"

I ask everything at once, my voice conveying my concern and nervousness.

"Everywhere hurts, Joy", she almost breaks down again.

My hand immediately finds hers, which is still holding her legs close to her. I bring it to my lap and caress it with my other hand, my gaze now on our hands instead of the wall ahead.

I try to comfort her by gently squeezing her hand and thankfully, she doesn't withdraw it. Instead, to my surprise, she inches closer to me and rests her head on my bare shoulder and sighs.

My hand stops caressing her hand and moves towards her face, as if on autopilot. My thumb wipes her cheeks that are still wet from the tears she shed earlier, as we both look towards the empty cave wall in front of us.

"You'll be fine Faith. I promise you'll be okay."

She hums and I feel another drop of tear fall on my bare shoulder.

"Hey sweetheart, don't cry okay.", I say and let my hand gently caress her soft cheeks in an attempt to soothe her.

"Come I'll take you to the beach, just take a quick dip and clean up okay. I'll try to think something about reducing the pain."

"No, I don't want to go out Joy, please. I want to stay here," she says, snuggling closer to me, almost hugging my arm now.

"But.."

"Please," she turns towards me and says. "I am not ready to go back there, not yet Joy", she pleads.

"Okay baby, at least let me get you a wet cloth. We need to clean and tend to your wounds. We can't risk a septic", I try to convince her.

She has a few bruises on her wrist that is in my hand, a cut on her elbow and under her lips. I also saw some scratches on her legs when I came in, those are probably from the dragging. I am not sure if she has more injuries, I haven't looked at her too carefully.

"Okay, but don't take too long, please?"

"I'll be back in an instant," I squeeze her hand lightly, almost wanting to kiss her knuckles, but stopping myself.

She lifts her head away from my shoulder and I get up.

I reach our usual spot and grab her bag and the rest of our stuff, which includes my jeans, jersey, some fruits and the herbs we had brought from the woods yesterday.

I wash the herbs thoroughly and grab two small rocks and clean them too. I take her scarf lying on a nearby rock and wet it, then I quickly go back towards the cave.

"I am here Faith, you okay?", I ask as I head in.

"Yeah," she says, as I reach next to her again.

"Here, use this scarf and clean up. I am outside, call me if you need me okay?" I hand her the wet scarf and put the rest of our stuff close by.

"Wear this jersey afterwards", I say as I start walking outwards with the herbs and rocks.

"Joy, wait"

I stop but don't turn around.

"Yes, sweetheart"

"Can you stay? Just keep facing the other side and continue talking to me please."

"Of course Faith, anything you need"

I settle down where I was and start working on the herbs. I hear shuffling behind me, followed by some whimpers as she cleans herself.

I have to distract her. Keep talking to her like she asked.

"Can you guess what I am doing with these rocks here?" I ask.

"Umm... I don't know. Playing caveman?", she says distractedly.

I chuckle, "Yeah close enough"

"Really? What are you doing exactly?"

"When I went back to grab our stuff, I found those herbs we brought yesterday. I am using these rocks to grind turmeric roots and neem leaves into a paste, it should help with your pain as well as heal the wounds sooner", I continue to explain to her.

I remember reading about how turmeric and neem have healing and antibacterial properties, this should definitely help relieve her pain a bit while reducing the risk of septic.

"Once you're done cleaning up, we can apply this at one of your wounds and check for any reactions or anything. If it feels okay, we can use it on all your wounds."

"Do you think this will work?," She asks curiously.

"Well, it worked on cavemen, so a cave-woman should be no problem."

I can almost hear her jaw dropping.

"I am not a cave-woman, okay. But, I do hope it works," she says as she comes and sits beside me, wearing my jersey like a shirt dress that reaches her thighs.

I try to keep my eyes trained on the job at hand, I am not sure if I can control my eyes if I see her in my jersey alone.

I can feel her eyes scrutinizing my face and immediately her hand reaches towards my jaw. I turn my gaze to her face.

"You're hurt," she says, her gentle fingers rub against my skin, giving me goosebumps everywhere.

"Not more than you," I say as my fingers take some of the paste I made and apply it to the cut under her lip. She shudders from the touch, but doesn't move away.

"Does it itch or cause any irritation?" I ask, my eyes lost in hers as I look for any hints of discomfort or pain.

She shakes her head and takes some of the paste in her hand. I assume she is going to apply it to her other wounds. But she surprises me yet again when she applies it to my jaw instead, her feathery soft fingers soothing my pain more than the paste.

"Can I?," I ask pointing to the paste again, seeking permission to tend to the rest of her wounds.

Her eyes search for something in mine, as she mentally struggles, looking for an answer.

"Okay," she murmurs and extends her arm towards me.

I apply the paste gently to the cut on her elbow. She winces in pain.

Then I apply it to the finger shaped bruises on her wrists and a small bruise on the side on her palm.

"Lie down", I instruct her and she obeys silently.

My hands covered with the paste caress her soft, beautiful legs that are now covered in scratches given by that monster's nails.

She winces whenever my fingers touch her wounds, but I try to be as gentle as I can, not lingering my touch anywhere so that she doesn't feel uncomfortable. Her eyes never leave my face for even a second, and I try not to let my anger or pain show.

There is a whole tsunami of other emotions going on in my head too, and desire shouldn't be one of those emotions, but it somehow is and I can't let it surface.

Her hands hold the hem of the jersey throughout the time, keeping it in place. She says she trusts me, but her actions always prove otherwise.

I fold her knees upwards as I apply the paste on the injuries on her shin. Once done, I pull them back down and I move my hands upwards towards her thighs, but one of her hands stop me.

I look towards her face and her eyes look at me questioningly.

"I am just helping Faith, no funny business."

She nods reluctantly and her hand goes back to clutching the jersey.
I part her legs just enough to allow me access to her inner thighs. My head almost explodes in anger as I watch them almost blue with so many bruises and marks of nails digging in her flesh.

I gently apply the paste over them, as she whimpers every few seconds. Her breathing gets heavy as her eyes shut tightly with pain and a few teardrops fall out.

My heart clenches but I don't listen to it when it asks me to go and kiss her tears away.

Once I am done, I ask her to get back up. She obliges.

I go and sit behind her and hold the hem of the jersey from behind. Her breath hitches.

"Are you okay with this, Faith?"

She doesn't respond but I can sense her hesitation.

"I am going to pull it up till your upper back then."

She nods, so that's what I do. I notice she's not wearing her bra as I tend to the scratches and bruises on her bare back. Every touch against her skin send shivers down my spine. But I force myself to stay focused on just helping her.

After I am done, I pull the jersey back down. Then I rest my hands on her shoulders.

"I am going to pull it down a bit okay. Stop me if you are not comfortable."

She nods again.

I slide my loose jersey down her shoulders, just enough to reveal the shoulders along with her upper back. Along with bruises, her neck and shoulders are lined up with teeth marks and nails. My blood boils even more. I try to stay calm and let my fingers soothingly apply the paste, through her whimpers.

"I am coming to the front now."

"Okay," she whispers.

I apply the paste on the front of her neck and over her shoulder blades, not meeting her gaze that scrutinizes me every second. As I move a bit downwards where the jersey starts, I see another teeth mark that just starts above and probably ends below the jersey.

I start applying the medicine there, but as my hand reaches the beginning of the cloth, I turn my gaze to her.

With my eyes trained on her face, I let my fingers dive inside the cloth so that the teeth mark is covered with medicine. Her skin feels even more softer underneath as I rub the paste in circular motion, a few seconds longer than needed. My fingers itch to delve deeper and caress her soft skin but I remove my hand reluctantly, shaking off any unnecessary thoughts that begin to drive me crazy.

I pull the jersey back up to her shoulders as I reach towards the front hem of the jersey now. My eyes ask her permission silently. Surprisingly, she holds my hand and lifts the jersey partially up for me, revealing her flat and bruised stomach and stopping just where her ribs begin.

So that's where she draws the line. No problem. That's my cue. Very well, then.

I tend to her stomach. My fingers linger around her navel repeatedly as I caress the wounds nearby. She closes her eyes momentarily when my fingers brush the skin near the band of her bottoms.

I immediately withdraw my hand and get up. I don't want to do anything she will hate me for later.

I gather all the dirty clothes, my t-shirt, her scarf, her dress, her bra, along with my clean jeans and turn towards the cave opening.

"I am going to take a bath, Faith. I will wash these clothes as well. Use the rest of the medicine and help yourself, okay?"

"Are you taking my clothes too? You don't have to..", she begins.

"Don't worry about it. I am just outside. Call out for me if you need me, okay? I'll be back in 10 minutes", I walk out quickly before she can say anything else.

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