Joy

"Hey bro, you look happy!," Ace chirps as he comes and sits across me on the make shift dinner table. It's really just a large rock with smaller ones around it, to sit on. The beach is lined up with several such dinner tables on the side and a huge canopy tent in the middle. The tent has a solar powered music system in the middle and solar lamps all around it, that create a party ambience on this otherwise dark island.

I grin back at him, and watch as Rosie sits next to him and winks at Faith, who's sitting across from her and beside me. Rosie's wink makes Faith blush like a budding rose and my heart leaps in my chest every time she blushes.

For most of the evening, I was busy with Professors, planning out tomorrow's exploration of the island. When I returned, I found Faith reading a book silently on a rock, as Ace and Rosie were having fun at some distance, along with Alice and a few other people from college. I sat at the rock across from her, and adored her silently.

The way she bit her inner cheek at some times, or turned a page way too quickly to read what's next, or even just sighed, made me wish I could just stop time and keep looking at her forever. I sat there for at least an hour, but it all felt like one long moment of pure bliss.

When the dinner announcement was made over the solar powered speakers, she finally put her book down. As if in slow motion, I watched her eyes widen in surprise when they fell on me, and then they sparkled with an indescribable emotion. Her lips quirked up into a sweet smile and my heart skipped another beat. Her cheeks develop a reddish hue, the kind that made the canvas of the sunset sky look dull and pale.

"Joy... How long have you been sitting here?," she asked bashfully.

"Not too long," I smile at her and she smiles back.

"You should have told me you're here, I was waiting for you," she says as she searches for something in my eyes, before finally adding, "I was thinking, should we talk now? I really think we should."

"No, no talking yet, let's go have some dinner first? Shall we?," I extended my hand for her, which she took with a hesitant smile.

There are no arguments or proofs that can prove I'm right and Alice is wrong, and I can't lose you over this Faith, no way! So let's put off talking for as long as we can.

As we walked towards the dinner table spot, she held on to my hand tightly, making me relax a little.

Maybe she trusts me, why else would she have still stayed by my side, holding my hand? But what if not? What if she just gave me benefit of doubt for now, and will later bombard me with questions that I can't answer? I can't take that risk. I'd rather hold onto what I have of her, than lose her altogether.

As we settled down for dinner, her hand rested on my knee, gently rubbing soothing circles over it.

"Don't worry baby, I'll wait until you're ready. Come on, cheer up now," she said with a heartwarming smile, making one appear on my face too.

"Here, have it," she said and started serving me food. Real food, not berries or watermelons or coconuts.

"We're kind of lucky that we are getting to eat real food again, all thanks to you sweetheart," I told her as I brought her free hand to my face and kissed her knuckles. She blushed all over again, but jerked her hand away from mine immediately when she saw Ace and Rosie walking over towards us.

Now, as they sit across us and continue blabbering about how beautiful and peaceful this place is, I can't help but notice Faith's eyes lingering over my face from the corner of my eyes. When I look towards her, she just smiles awkwardly and looks away towards Rosie.

What are you thinking sweetheart?

We are all lost in our conversation, when suddenly Alice makes an appearance. I suck in a deep breath. My blood boils every time I look at her.

"Hey guys, can I join you?," she asks excitedly, making me flinch at her statement.

What the hell does she want?! Can't she go have dinner with someone else?

Rosie raises a brow at me, but I shrug. I'd rather stay out of this conversation. I don't want anything to do with Alice.

"Of course, have a seat," Ace says and points at the only empty rock beside the makeshift table, which is unfortunately to my other side. She smiles happily and sits next to me, making me furious with anger. This Ace is going to get an earful from me as soon as I meet him alone!

My eyes dart towards Faith slowly, silently wishing she isn't angry at me, but instead I find her smiling at Ace? Seriously? She's okay with this?

I raise my brow at Ace, who looks at me with concern. He lifts his brows upwards, as if asking me what's wrong. Doesn't he know already?!

"Joy, can you pass me some water please," Alice's voice pierces through my ears suddenly. She points towards my left, where Faith is sitting, with a packaged water bottle across her.

My hands begin trembling as I try to lift them towards the bottle, but they never leave their position. Instead Alice just says again, "Joy, water please?"

I gulp nervously and turn my face towards Faith, both scared and worried about her reaction. But to my utter shock, I find her lifting up the bottle and extending her hand in front of me, towards Alice.

"Here, Alice", Faith says and Alice thanks her with a smile.

My head starts spinning and before I can understand what's happening, my body jolts up from the rock and my feet begin walking away from them.

Why isn't Faith angry at Alice anymore? Did Alice brainwash her with some fake story? If Faith trusts Alice, then how will she trust me? Does she hate me already?!

"This, is over Joy", Faith's words from that day boom in my head over and over again. I never thought they could be true. But what if they are? What if Faith is just trying to remain friends with me after everything that happened? But what about that moment we had on the way here then? Arghhhh... This is so confusing!

My feet continue walking non stop, while my ears hear loud ringing noises, my body feels numb and my eyesight goes blurry. My mind is in a daze, and I feel like I am drowning, like all my emotions are taking over me and pulling me under. I keep walking and walking, until I feel a soft pair of hands turn me around forcibly.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Joy? I have been calling out your name since so long, why weren't you stopping?," a concerned Faith asks me suddenly and I notice her panting for breath.

"Sorry, I didn't hear you," I tell her. Did she run after me?

"What do you mean you didn't hear me, Joy? I was right behind you! And, why the fuck were you walking into the water in dark again? You remember what happened last time right?," she snaps at me angrily and my eyes widen in realization. I was already shoulder deep in water and she was neck deep.

God, what's wrong with me?

Suddenly, her hand grabs mine and starts pulling me out of the water.

"What? Move your butt out of here Joy! I am not taking any risks!," she says angrily and pulls me towards the shore. Most people are busy dancing or having dinner, so nobody really notices us. Except Rosie, who is running back from the tents towards us, as we reach the shore.

"I take it you two still haven't talked it out?," Rosie asks softly and Faith nods, making Rosie sigh. She throws a large handbag towards Faith, who pulls out two hand towels from it and starts drying my hair. Rosie does the same to hers. My eyes take Faith in and I notice her light yellow dress clung to her wet body. I look back at her face and watch her still looking at me angrily.

I dart my eyes away from her and notice Rosie looking at me with hopeful eyes.

"Joy, you should really hear her out once," Rosie tells me with a reassuring nod.

"You better tell me you brought that rope you were talking about the other day, Rosie. We will have to tie him up and make him hear me out if he doesn't willingly," Faith seethes angrily.

God, she looks sexy even when she's angry.

"Rosie, can you cover up for me? And, ask Ace to cover for him? I really need to talk to him in private," Faith says to Rosie, who in turn smirks back at her.

"Of course, babe. Anything for you. Have fun, you too! And, no need to come back early, I'll handle everything," Rosie says and winks suggestively at Faith, but Faith doesn't react this time. Instead she just keeps staring at her until she goes away and vanishes into the crowd.

"What's wrong with you?," she suddenly turns towards me and asks me.

"Nothing, I am perfectly fine, see!," I say as I move closer to her. Her eyes take in my appearance, especially lingering over my arms and legs, as if looking for any injuries.

"What were you doing in there?," she asks again, sounding still as angry as earlier.

"Nothing, I was just feeling hot, so thought I'd take a swim," I make up an excuse and look away from her harsh scrutiny.

She pulls my face towards her with the palm of her hand in a quick motion, and I watch her eyes redden with anger. I have never seen her so angry.

"Do I look dumb to you too?," she asks me with a loud voice, inviting attention from the closest dinner spot.

I flinch at her words, and feel a wave of guilt wash all over me. Why the fuck am I lying to her?

She observes all directions quickly, and when she is sure nobody is noticing, she pulls my hand and drags me towards the rocky stretch that leads to our cave.

______

As we enter the cave, and Faith pulls out her flashlight from the handbag and lights it up, another wave of nostalgia hits us. This time, stronger.

A heap of firewood is still lying at one corner of the cave, and blood from my now healed wounds is lining the floor at another corner. Her lighter is lying next to the ashes of the last fire we lit up, the fire that witnessed our promises that will likely soon turn into ashes too.

She hands me the hand towel again and pulls out a light purple, cotton scarf from her bag.

"Get out of those wet clothes and use this scarf to cover up. I should have asked Rosie to get your clothes too!," she says shaking her head and walking towards the other corner of the cave.

We have done this so many times before, but a sudden rush of strange energy washes over me as I watch her go away and turn around. Knowing that she'll be almost naked in such close proximity from me makes delicious electricity run through my body. I turn around and get rid of my clothes, using her scarf around my waist like a towel.

"Okay I'm done, you can turn around now," she says and I turn towards her instantly. My breath hitches in my throat and my eyes widen in surprise as I take in the sight before me.

"Is that my jersey?," I ask in surprise and she bites her lip and nods. Oh, God!

She comes closer towards me and I notice her eyes slowly dart down my torso, lingering over some places till they finally stop at my injured leg. She pulls me down to sit on the floor as she inspects my now exposed, but healed wounds that have now become scars. I suddenly feel too self conscious, so I try to get my leg away from her.

But she holds onto it tightly as her fingers slowly graze over the wounds, making me shudder at the movement.

"Does it hurt?," she asks as she removes her hand immediately.

"Not anymore," I tell her genuinely. Even if it did, it would have stopped hurting now, because the remedy to all my ailments is sitting right across me.

She clears her throat and puts my leg down. Then, she moves away and lights up a fire and once she is done, she turns off the flashlight. The glowing orange ambience instantly brings back memories of that eventful yet beautiful night, which brought us closer than ever. When she turns back towards me, I see a painful look in her eyes instead of the earlier anger, making me feel even more terrible for making her feel that way.

She moves closer to me, grabs my hand and looks into my eyes so deeply, that it knocks out all air from my lungs and leaves me breathless. She slowly moves more closer towards me, until she sits directly over my lap and straddles me. Her hands now cup my face and I feel an excited shiver run down my back at the thought that there is only a thin piece of scarf separating us.

"Faith..," I begin slowly, my voice coming out like a hoarse whisper.

"Do you remember that night Joy?," she asks, biting down on her lower lip. I lift my hand and let my thumb slowly graze over her dry lips as I free the soft petal from her teeth, making her close her eyes momentarily and breath heavily.

She opens them and looks back at me expectantly, cupping my face tighter.

"Do you remember what I promised you? That if shit ever hits the fan, we'll clean it up together? That I'd work through anything for you, but I'd never want to see your life in danger again?," she asks me softly, making my heart flutter at the memory of her words. I nod instantly.

"I meant it, Joy. I want to work through this for you. For us. Yes, shit happened Joy and I need you to let me clean this up with you. Will you let me?," she asks expectantly looking into my eyes.

A stray tear escapes through my rebellious eyes and she wipes it away with her thumb instantly. I nod again.

She leans in slowly and kisses my cheek, her soft lips making every inch of my skin feel alive. Then, she kisses the other cheek and rests her forehead on mine.

"So we can talk right? Please tell me, what's going on in your mind? Why did you do that?!," she whispers gently, asking me about my small stunt in the ocean a few minutes ago.

I close my eyes and let out a long breath. No more lies, Joy. Tell her the truth.

"I don't know! There were too many things on my mind and I just kept walking and walking, like I was on autopilot. I didn't even realize where I was until I saw you," I tell her genuinely and she holds me tighter and kisses my forehead lovingly.

"I am so sorry, love. This is all my fault! I am so, so sorry," she says and my heart skips multiple beats at a time.

Love? No no, I must be dreaming!

I touch her face and her soft skin instantly reminds me that this is a beautiful reality.

"No Faith, it's all my fault. I shouldn't get so affected by Alice's presence, she means nothing to me. She never did, Faith. She was a childhood friend, but I don't want to do anything with her anymore!," I say angrily, making her move her head away from mine and look into my eyes.

"What do you mean?," she asks hesitantly.

"I know how it looks, Faith. First you saw me hugging her that day, and then Ace brought up that arrangement topic, I swear it meant nothing to me, Faith. It was just sex," I say as I shake my head at the memories of terrible phase of my life that now just makes me feel nauseous with disgust.

"I know sex should mean something, but it didn't, it never meant anything to me. Not before I met you!," I say hurriedly, before she can snap and refuse to hear me anymore. "There was no intimacy, Faith. No feelings. It meant nothing to me. I don't want her sweetheart, I just want you, only you. There's nobody else. There will never be. I want you to be my one and only." I say and her lips immediately curve into a surprising smile.

Taking it as a positive response, I continue, "I know I don't have any proofs and I have a horrible past that just looks like a big dark stain on my character. I don't really know how do I convince you to believe me Faith, that's why I was trying to avoid this conversation. I just have my word against her word, I don't know why she did what she did, but whatever she told you this morning was all a lie," I say and watch her earlier smile fade into confusion.

"Were you able to hear anything from that distance? I think you misunderstood -," she begins but I cut her off.

"Not much, but I heard her say she knew that you were with me, yet she agreed to it! I don't know why she lied Faith. She was never like this. She was my friend, but now she's just a manipulative, lying bitch, trying to ruin my happiness!," I say angrily and watch Faith's confusion turn into shock.

She shakes her head angrily as she says, "Don't say that, Joy. She wasn't lying. You -"

"You're defending her all over again? I don't believe it. You don't trust me, Faith? Not even one bit? How can you think I would do that to you? To us?," I snap at her again.

She cups my face again and rubs her thumbs over my cheeks soothingly, as she says, " I am so sorry, Joy. I am sorry that I doubted you that day, even if that doubt didn't last more than five minutes. I still did and you didn't deserve it. I repeatedly keep accusing you of things you aren't capable of doing. It has happened twice now and I hate myself for putting you through it." Her words turn into muffled sobs as tiny pearls start dropping from her eyes that I collect instantly, as if my life depends on them.

"Shhh... Don't cry sweetheart. Sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you like that. I know it was just a bad misunderstanding. I would have reacted the same way if I were you," I tell her as I pull her into an embrace and rub her back gently. Once she calms down, she looks at me with her large, hazy, midnight black eyes that suck me in like a massive black hole.

"You don't hate me?," she asks in a whisper.

"Hate you?," I chuckle and kiss her forehead, "that's not even minutely close to what I feel about you sweetheart," I say without reconsidering my words and notice her nuzzling closer into my bare chest, her soft hands on my bare skin and her warm breath fanning my chest, awakening a part of me that I'd rather not entertain right now.

"But I did hurt you, didn't I? You can't even stand cheating and I mindlessly accused you of it. I was so stupid. My head just stopped working in that moment and all I saw was pain and I became so dumb and so stupidly blind that....", she trails off when I pull her back up and look into her eyes again.

"Don't call yourself that again. You aren't stupid or dumb or anything of that sort. You're smart, intelligent, kind, caring, brave... you're so many things Faith, but not that. Don't let an idiot's opinion matter so much that it gets to you", I tell her with all sincerity.

But she just shakes her head at me.

"It's not about somebody's opinion Joy. It's about the things I do, the choices I make. They're stupid, and dumb!"

"So you really believe choosing me was a dumb choice?", I ask her worriedly.

"What? No! Are you crazy? Look who got to whose head now!," she says and presses her fingers against my head. "I meant the other choices. Like pushing you away, accusing you, unnecessarily doubting your loyalty, not letting you explain... all of that," she tells me, making me release a breath I didn't realize I was holding.

"So, you're telling me you don't doubt me? You're not angry at me?," I ask to confirm.

"Not at all! In fact, I am sorry for putting you through all that. You don't deserve it baby. You deserve care, and trust, and happiness. But I somehow fail at giving you all of that. All I give you is misplaced anger, trust issues and accusations."

"O Faith, you don't even know what you give me. You are the only person who gives me true happiness. And, you care so much about me. You put your own life on line to save me from that crocodile. And whatever you felt that day in locker room was pain, and nobody thinks straight when they're in pain. So don't belittle yourself or whatever you felt for any reason, it was all valid. I would never hold it against you, Faith. You mean everything to me baby. And, I accept the whole package deal, not bits and pieces of you. Not just the beautiful, brave and awesome side of you, but also the scared, vulnerable and hidden side of you. I want your insecurities, fears and problems. And, I want to help you to turn them into your strengths. You're everything I want and need, Faith. You're my everything!"

She hugs me so quickly and so tightly, I shake in surprise.

"O Joy, I promise I will give all of me to you, I want to build trust with you. I never want to put you through any of that again! I am so sorry for doing it to you," she says as she nuzzles into my shoulder .

"Don't be sorry sweetheart. I am so glad you trust me, and not that Alice!"

She shakes her head and looks up at me again, "About that.... You misunderstood what she said Joy. She wasn't talking about you, she was talking about Greg."

Instant realization dawns on me and I facepalm myself. So that's why Alice was crying so much. Over that incident that changed her life's choices. I feel like a fool now. Of course, Faith was consoling her, of course, she forgave her. After all, Greg means nothing to her now. Or does he?

"Faith... Can I ask you something?"

"Anything baby."

"Why did you lock yourself up? Was it because I attacked Greg? Or because of what he said? Because you said your doubt vanished in five minutes right? So you weren't angry at me for what happened with Alice. Then? Is it because Greg showed up?," I ask her everything except the one question I really want to ask, if he still means anything to her.

"I don't give two shits about that cheating piece of crap! You know that already, don't you? And why did you send him to apologize to me?," she raises her angry brow at me, catching me in surprise.

"Ummm.... I thought you deserve an apology from him... after everything he put you through. So that you find some closure? Did I do something wrong? You didn't like him apologizing to you? And how did you know I asked him to? Did Rosie tell you?", I shoot all my questions at her, not regretting my insecurities show through.

"You did nothing wrong baby. In fact that broken nose kind of suited him, didn't it?," she says and giggles, then continues, "And nobody told me. I just knew you did it. Nobody else can think so much about me Joy. Thank you for caring so much."

"It's my job to care about you. But, you still didn't answer my question, Faith. Is Greg the reason why you shut me out of your life for three days?"

Her brows furrow in confusion as she looks into my eyes looking for God knows what.

"Joy... He means nothing to me, baby. Nothing at all. I don't want anything to do with him, or anybody else for that matter! I just want you, Joy. Only you. I want you to be my one and only too," she says as she inches closer to me, slowly bridging the small distance between us.

But I don't let her. She sighs in disappointment.

"Please answer my question, Faith. I need to know where I went wrong so I don't repeat it," I press for an honest answer.

"It's not anything you did. It's what I did. I let my past ruin my present again, Joy. I am tired of it. Of putting you through my problems. Of making you a victim of my triggers. Of constantly unloading my baggage on you. I wanted some time. To get my shit together. To make peace with myself. To stop hurting you every other day"

"So it was somehow because of Greg, right?"

She sighs.

"How do I explain this?! All these months, I thought I was angry at Greg for what he did. But during these days, I figured, I wasn't. Instead I was angry at myself for letting all that happen to me! Even after what happened with him, even after watching two years of my life going to shit, there was no pain I felt because of him, only anger. Anger and self hatred."

I let her words sinks in. She had said she felt pain when she saw me with Alice, and that pain made her react that way. She never felt that for him?

She continues, "Everything that reminds me of that terrible night, when I realized I let myself be fooled for 4 months, it acts like a trigger. It brings out a cold, emotionless side of me. I wanted to understand that side Joy.. for us, for you. So I never let it affect us. It was never about Greg, it was about me. It was about dealing with my self hatred and suppressed anger. It was about me keeping that promise that I would work through shit for you. I was working on my shit Joy. I am sorry, I know those days must have been horrible for you. But I really needed them. For me. For you. For us."

"O Faith... I am so sorry for misunderstanding you, I thought you still subconsciously....", I begin as I shake my head, but she cuts me off.

"No Joy, I don't. Trust me," she says with hopeful eyes

"I trust you sweetheart. I am so sorry," I say.

"I am sorry too," she says with pain showing clearly in her eyes.

"Come here," I say and pull her into my embrace as our bodies melt into each other and our souls finally feel at peace in each other's arms.

"Promise me, next time you won't go through such torture alone. We'll figure things out together?" I whisper into the crook of her neck.

"I promise. And you promise me, you won't put your life in danger ever again?," she whispers back to me.

"I promise. Never again!"

_________

A/N:

Hey there, lovely readers!

We're awfully close to the end of the book. Just a couple of spicy ;) chapters left. Let me know how you like the story so far?

And, if you have any suggestions for Faith and Joy's upcoming romance, let me know! <3