Faith

"Hey babe!," Rosie squeaks in excitement, as she runs towards me. She bends down to hug me tightly, throwing her backpack next to mine.

"Hey Rosie," I say softly, still not sure how she's taking my ignorance for three days straight. I had requested her not to come over after the phone call with Joy and her, as I still needed some alone time to sort myself out.

"Look at you babe, all these dark circles under your eyes! Come let's get you ready before Joy comes, he should be here any time now, the cruise leaves in ten minutes," she says excitedly and tries to pull me up from my comfortable reading chair with the ocean view, to drag me towards the washroom.

"He has seen me worse babe, I had no make up all those days we were stuck there. I don't think he would mind watching some black under my eyes," I pull her towards the chair across from me and she sighs and sits on it.

"Fine, I give up. He adores you anyway, he's been missing you so bad I think his dark circles are going to be worse than yours. You guys are totally nut cases," she giggles and winks at me, making me smile instantly.

"Rosie, about earlier.. I am sorry I ignored you for so long, I know you were just worried about - ", I begin and she shuts me up.

"Keep your sorry to yourself, babe, I don't need it. And besides, I know you're not sorry. You will do it all over again if it comes to that. And I understand how you like dealing with your problems on your own, by distancing yourself from those who care about you. I have got used to it now. You became all distant ever since you found about Greg, and I don't mind it because it helps you cope. But, what you're doing to Joy isn't right Faith, he doesn't deserve to be shut out like that. You need to let him in, so you both can move past your problems and be happy together."

I let her words sink in. She wasn't angry because I ignored her. She was angry because I ignored Joy, because I became distant from him, just like I became distant from her and everyone else all those months ago.

She was angry with me, for me.

"I feel terrible, Rosie. I don't know what to do," I inform her, hoping she would know how to end this torture I keep doing to myself and others.

"Talk to him, babe. Tell him how you feel. Let him tell you how he feels. Be honest with him. Tell him your insecurities, your fears, your triggers. Listen to his insecurities and fears too. Build trust with him, babe. You know you can. With him, you can," she smiles at me lovingly and extends her hand to mine, giving me a gentle, reassuring squeeze.

I nod to her, and her smile grows wider.

"I just can't wait to see you both happy and clingy and lovey dovey!," she clasps her hands and says excitedly, making me chuckle.

"Faith...", I hear a deep, hoarse voice call out my name from behind me, making my smile disappear instantly.

I look around to find Greg standing behind me, his body language all nervous, his hands fidgeting with his own fingers, his jaw bruised on one side and his nose bandaged.
Did Joy really...?

I look towards Rose questioningly and she just grins and shrugs. I giggle internally. Oh my God!

So, Joy really did break his nose!

I turn back to Greg and notice his forehead is now sweaty and his face looks pained. Why is the smug look on his face missing?

I observe him silently, watching him open and close his mouth repeatedly, in an attempt to say something. After a few minutes of him not meeting my eyes and not saying anything, I start getting irritated.

"What is it Gregory? Just get it over with," I snap at him irritatedly.

"I-I just wanted to apologise, Faith. For being an asshole. For cheating on you. For constantly poking and insulting you all these months. I was an idiot. I regret doing all of it. I hope you'll be able to forgive me someday, if not today," he blurts out and sighs heavily.

Am I dreaming? Is Greg apologizing to me? After all these months? Why? And, he called me by my name!

It's a lot to take in.

I turn towards Rosie again and find her eyes fixated elsewhere. I follow her line of sight and I suck in a breath as I notice who she's looking at. Joy and Ace.

They're sitting at the bar behind us, a bit to the right. Joy's eyes are trained on Greg and pure anger pours out of them. Ace, however is busy looking at... Rosie? And, so is she. What's going on here?

I turn back towards Greg but before I can say anything, he says again, "I am sorry, Faith. I know I've hurt you a lot, and I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I really wanted you to know it was never your fault. I was the dumb one, I didn't realize what I was doing. I was reckless and stupid, and I never deserved you," he pauses before adding, "I'll take your leave now. I won't bother you again. Thanks for hearing me out." He immediately turns around and leaves as shockingly as he came.

"What the hell was that?," I say out loud, getting Rosie's attention back to myself.

"I think Joy's punches put some sense into his head," she smirks as her gaze turns back to Joy and Ace.

"Fill me in," I say and before she begins telling me the details about what happened after I left that day, we are interrupted again.

"Hi Faith," I hear a feminine voice say to me. My head turns behind me instantly, as I notice another nervous person standing in front of me. My eyes drift towards Joy unwillingly, wondering what reaction would I see on his face this time.

But instead of fear, or anger, or irritation, I see shock on his face. He looks surprised by seeing her, and not in a good way. His eyes slowly drift towards mine, as I notice a soft pleading emotion flicker across them, as if asking me to leave everything and run towards him and melt in his arms. Not now, baby. But, soon.

I pull my eyes back from his now worried face and I focus them back on the female standing beside me.

"Hi Alice", I say, trying to keep my voice devoid of any hatred or malice.

"Can I talk to you for a few minutes, Faith? Alone?," She says as her eyes land on Rosie and I turn around to see Rosie's eyes throwing daggers at her. I sigh. What does Alice want now?

"Rosie... Can you please excuse us for a few minutes?," I ask her gently.

She throws me a puzzled look, and I realize nobody was shocked by seeing Greg here. But, Alice has surprised all of them. Did Joy ask Greg to apologize to me? But then why is Alice here?

Rosie sighs, and finally gets up from the seat to move towards Joy and Ace. Alice comes and sits across me, and I watch her as she struggles with getting words out of her mouth.

"Faith... I, actually, I just... I just wanted to apologize to you", she mutters out finally.

What's with everyone apologizing today?

I open my mouth to say something but she shakes her head at me.

"Let me finish, please. I need to admit this to you. I have been dying with guilt for too long now," she says and for the first time I actually look into her hazel eyes and notice the pain they hide.

I nod to her, wondering what makes her so guilty and troubled.

"That night, when you walked in on us, Greg and I, we had been seeing each other for four months on and off, having casual dates that ended up with a night in his bed. I was young and foolish, and even though I knew he had a girlfriend, I thought she'd be some mean, selfish bitch who didn't love him back. Or something else like that. Frankly, I didn't really care too much. I was enjoying it, without any additional burden of attachment.. you know, like no strings attached? That was my thing. And I wasn't exclusive with Greg. And he wasn't exclusive either, he saw other women too", she pauses and allows me to process the information she just gave me.

Greg wasn't just cheating on me with her, he was cheating on me with any woman he found? That seriously says something about him now. Yep, he was really an asshole after all.

But all this doesn't really bother me now. I don't feel angry or disgusted. I am past this. So, why is she telling me all this now?

"But that night when I saw you there, I realized how much you actually cared about him. I realized how badly he betrayed you. I felt your heart break into pieces and I felt awful. I hated myself for being a part of the reason why you felt that way. I left his house immediately after you did and I never saw him again. I stopped seeing anyone else that I knew wasn't exclusive with me. And, when it turned out to be practically everyone I was seeing, I realized how fucked up I was. I realized my mistake Faith, I realized I didn't want to be the other woman in any one's life ever again!"

Her eyes drop to the table between us and I notice a stray tear rolling down her cheek. But she ignores and so do I.

For months, I was so absorbed in my agony and my pain, I didn't even realize I never saw her with Greg again. He was always with a new girl, but never her.

"And then I heard about your accident that night. I felt hundred times more horrible. I felt like it was all my fault, that you were in that horrible place. It was my fault you saw what you saw. If I hadn't come over to his house that night..."

"Then somebody else would have, Alice. I would have caught him anyway. If not that day, then some other day. It wasn't your fault that he was cheating on me, it was his."

"Of course, it was my fault Faith. I knew he had a girlfriend and I agreed to be with him anyway. I am a terrible person," she snaps loudly and breaks down into ugly sobs, covering her face with her hands.

I get up from my seat instantly and move around the table towards her. I pull her into a careful embrace and pat her back lightly.

"It's okay, Alice. I forgive you. Please stop crying," I tell her softly, which succeeds in calming her down. I may have hated her all this time, but now I don't feel any hatred towards her. Instead, I feel sorry for her. She has been harbouring a guilt that isn't really hers to feel.

I sigh and look up from her and my eyes dart towards Joy and others, and I notice how Joy is hell pissed and angry. And, so is Rosie. Ace just keeps looking at Alice with a sorry face. I wonder why they look so angry.

I am sure they can't hear us from there, so what makes them react that way?

I offer a glass of water to Alice and she takes it hesitantly. I instantly notice Joy getting up from his seat angrily and storming away from the bar. Rose follows him, but Ace stays. Guess, Ace is really concerned about Alice. She's his childhood friend too, right?

But why is Joy so pissed? I guess I'll deal with him in a bit. I have a lot to apologize for, from Joy, but I would rather be free from all this business, so nobody disturbs us when we talk.

The cruise suddenly starts moving, so I sit back in my seat and turn my attention back to Alice. She looks more composed now and I offer her a smile, which she returns.

"So, I hope you will stop feeling guilty now? I am not angry at you anymore. I forgive you," I tell her reassuringly but the frown on her face returns.

"I still feel guilty, Faith. About what happened in the locker room... I," she begins but I cut her off.

"Don't worry about it," I tell her immediately. I don't want to hear about it from her. Not before I hear from Joy.

"Please let me get this out of my system, Faith. I feel so terrible for hurting you all over again," she says in a painful tone.

So that's why she was so shocked that day? She thought she hurt me again?! I am so terrible at reading people.

She doesn't even wait for me to say anything, and directly starts talking.

"Joy, Ace and I have been friends since we were little kids. We were best friends, Ace and I were closer though. Joy used to be a very gentle, kind and lovable friend. But, that changed when he found about his father," she says with a hint of sadness in her voice.

"How do you know? Joy said he didn't tell anyone about his father, except Ace," I ask her curiously.

"I found Ace crying alone in playground one day. On repeatedly asking him what was bothering him, he finally told me he was worried about Joy. We hadn't seen Joy since a few days, because he had shut himself up. Joy couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't even play football. And, you know how much he loves football right?," she asks and I nod. My heart aches knowing how broken Joy would have felt back then.

"So I convinced Ace into telling me everything, and he made me promise him I would never let anyone else know. And, I kept my promise. I figured you'd already know by now, so I mentioned this to you," she says and I nod in understanding.

"After that incident, Joy kinda turned cold. He hid his pain, his emotions behind a facade and acted as if feelings didn't mean anything to him. With time, he started dating random girls, then he stopped dating altogether and moved to one night stands. He just kept running from one girl to another at a fast pace, like he was looking for something that he couldn't find," she shakes her head and trails off, probably remembering their old days.

I know what he was looking for Alice, he was looking for the reason why his father cheated on her mother. He was trying to find the pleasure he thought was the reason his childhood was so fucked up. He told me about it himself, and yet I accused him of cheating. I feel like slapping myself in my face, real hard. Stupid Faith.

"Joy and I were always friends, Faith. Yes, I had a friends with benefits arrangement with him for a short time," she says and my heart stings with pain as jealousy begins creeping into my insides, but I ignore it and let her continue, "but I ended it as soon as everything with you and Greg happened."

I felt relieved instantly. That was quite a few months ago. And, I hadn't met Joy back then, so what kind of relationship they both shared at that time should not be any of my business. I sigh and let her continue.

"We never had any feelings for each other, Faith. Whenever he came over, he was strict to business. And, we never had any intimacy - no sleeping in, no hugging, no cuddling. We just talked like friends do, and he never really mentioned it at other times when we casually met as friends, he never let me feel awkward or anything, he was always a gentleman," she says with a smile that mirrors mine.

I know he's truly a gentleman, Alice. I have experienced it first hand.

"And when I told him I wanted to end the arrangement, he took it better than most others did, in fact he even asked me what made me take the decision. That was one of the times he showed me some compassion after so many years. I told him about what had happened, without the names and specifics obviously, and he consoled me like a true friend. But soon after, he put up his facade again and became cold."

I gulp at the sudden realization, that how entangled our fates have been since so long. Joy and I have been so nearby all this time, and yet so far away. Like an invisible thread bound together our destinies, and kept pulling us to each other slowly.

Alice looks into my eyes and continues, "When I heard he was back in college that day, I couldn't stop myself from going to meet him Faith. He was missing since so long. I had arrived to college late that day, so I hadn't attended the award ceremony. And, when I met him in the locker room, I saw the glimpse of that old Joy back again. He looked happy and cheerful, his eyes lit up everytime he talked about the girl he met on the island. I didn't know it was you, Faith. Else I would have left already. I was just so happy for Joy, watching him be himself after so many years, so when I got up to leave, I pulled him into a hug and..."

"And that's when I entered", I finish off her sentence, shaking my head at my sheer bad luck. I should have waited for Joy in that damned cafeteria. None of this would have happened if I hadn't been at the wrong place at the wrong time. Or I should have let him talk instead of snapping at him like that.

"Thanks for being honest with me, Alice. I am sorry you had to suffer because of me. But trust me, you did a good thing ending things with all those guys. You deserve to be with someone who treats you like his whole world. Someone you can imagine a life with," I tell her and she nods, and smiles at me.

"You do know Joy feels that way about you, right? His whole world revolves around you and he can't even imagine a life without you," she says softly, making me chuckle.

"I wouldn't be so sure of that. I mean, we aren't even a thing yet," I say and shrug. She chuckles back at me.

"O Faith, just give him some time. He's new to this. He hasn't been serious for anyone ever. He just doesn't know what to do and how to do it. I am sure he will come around," she says confidently, but I don't feel so convinced. I mean, if he can share his deepest, darkest secrets with me, how difficult is it to ask me to be his girlfriend? Maybe he doesn't want me as bad as everyone is assuming. I sigh. Guess, that's a conversation I'd have with him later.

"Promise me, you won't let him get back in that hell hole again, Faith. I want to see him happy now. With you. I want you both to be happy together. And if my presence in his life bothers you in any way, I'd gladly leave you two alone and you'll never have to see me again. That's the least I can do for both of you!," she says with a finality in her voice and sincerity in her eyes.

My heart clenches, realizing she is willing to give up her childhood friendship with him, just so that she can see him happy. With me.

"Stay," I tell her and watch her grow all confused at my words.

"Don't leave your friend, Alice. You care for him, I can see that. And, I am sure you mean something to him too. Stay in his life. Stay in our lives. I don't have any issues, let's forget whatever happened," I tell her as I hold her hand gently, giving it a light squeeze.

If I need to build trust with Joy, this is the best way to start it. Alice deserves to have an amazing friend like Joy. And, Joy deserves to be trusted enough to choose whomsoever he wants to stay friends with. My insecurities need to take a back seat now.

A surprised Alice instantly gets up from her seat at my words, and moves around the table excitedly, crushing me into a tight embrace. I chuckle at her surprising reaction.

"O Faith, thank you, thank you so much! I am so glad you forgave me!", she says happily.

Guess I just made a new friend too.

______

A/N:
Joy and Faith reunion is coming soon. And, they're returning to the island! Are you excited?!