Back from my holidays! I had a lovely time reading your comments in previous chapter. Thanks for them. Enjoy ^.^
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God damnit Jonathan! Just open the damn door finally!

I looked around, knowing I was unable to reach the window upstairs in any way. I spotted half opened window in the kitchen so I didn't waste any more time and I grabbed this opportunity.

I opened the window fully and crawled in. My whole body was shaking in fear and in excitement. I wasn't sure how was Delirious going to react on seeing me but I knew I just had to made him listen. I needed him to look at his account and pay all his debts. After that I was prepared to leave.

Memories of his sentences about not loving me popped out, still hurting me like a fresh wounds. All I wanted was to save him, maybe talk to him once again about me not cheating on him.

I quickly ran upstairs, remembering my past in this house. All good and bad that had happened here but I didn't let that stop me in reaching the room I wanted.

I stopped for a few seconds in front of the room, considering it would be wise to knock, but I realized that would only give him reasons never open the door. I quickly opened the door, stepping in with confidence.

"Del-"

My sentence was cut off and I froze in mid step. The man I loved so much was hanging in the air, not moving at all. My body reacted instantly.

Through my tears filled eyes I found the chair on the ground and set it with my shaking hands next to the body. It was so hard to even breath, my body shaking, fear and panic consuming my body and my mind like a plague.

I quickly supported his body up, so he wasn't suffocating more than he was, not giving up on the chance he was still alive. With my free hand I tried to loosen up the rope and the desperation grew stronger with every failed attempt.

After what felt like eternity, I removed the rope around his neck and was unable to stop his body from falling down on the ground. I quickly jumped off the chair, checking his pulse. The question whether he was alive or already dead lingered above me like a dark cloud and my vision got blurred even more with each new tear.

Alive! He's alive! Weak but there's pulse! What have you done?

I quickly stood up, grabbing my phone and I had to sit down on chair because my legs were unable to hold me anymore. I felt all my blood left my body and I was so weak.

I dialed ambulance and told them the address. They told me to wait for them and I didn't argue there. I watched his dead looking body, wiping off my tears.

"Why in the hell would you do this?!" I whispered angrily, knowing there was no chance of him answering me.

Minute or two later and god knows if he would be still alive. I can't believe he was in such a desperate time to even think about suicide! Why didn't he say anything? Why didn't he talk to me? Or at least to Luke! This is my fault. Jesus, he did this because he thought I cheated on him!

I kneeled by his body and softly grabbed his hand into mine. It was the worst nightmare and I was sure this was going to haunt me forever.

"I'm so sorry. I should have insisted on you to hear me out when I was here the last time," I whispered, ever so softly squeezing his hand.

The ambulance arrived within few minutes and I watch them get him to the car. Without any hesitation I joined them, watching them take care of him. My hand never let go off his through the whole way to the hospital.

They didn't let me go further in the hospital so I sat down, feeling almost lifeless as Delirious. I couldn't believe what would happened if I truly was late. If I gave up on him.

I couldn't believe he would commit suicide just because of me and Luke. I couldn't even imagine how much I had to hurt him and I knew it was going to take lot more time for him to forgive me again.

"Evan Fong?"

I looked up at and saw some doctor. With my beating heart and high expectations of good news I stood up.

"How's he?" I breathed out, hugging myself to be prepared for anything.

"He's stabilized, currently sleeping. For a few weeks there's going to be visible bruise on his neck but other than that he was lucky enough he didn't damaged any vital organs. It's a miracle that he didn't break his neck as well. I wanted to ask you few questions before I let you see him."

I felt like a big rock fell down and I could breath again. A wave of happiness washed all over me and I caught myself crying again. I didn't care. All that mattered was that Delirious was alive. That he survived.

"What's your relation with Jonathan Dennis?" Doctor asked and I wiped off my tears.

"I'm his boyfriend," I answered truthfully and he put something into his papers.

"Jonathan tried to commit suicide when he was young, based on records we have, but has he tried this any time before this we should know about?"

What?! He tried to kill himself when he was a child? Why? Why would he do that?

"Evan?" The doctor nudged me softly.

"I have no recollection of it. He seemed to be happy enough and busy with work all the time," I shrugged my shoulders, refusing to tell him that I was the reason he wanted to die this time.

"He hasn't mentioned anything troubling him lately? Your argument? In work maybe?"

"Why does it matter?" I asked a bit in panic as I knew too well I was responsible for his attempt.

"If there's anything bothering mister Dennis we would like to prevent any of his other attempts in the future. I'm sure you understand. I'll give you this card," he started, pulling out a card from his pocket.

"It's a therapist specializing on people wanting to commit suicide. I know you think you're a big help, and I'm sure you're, but sometimes only professionals can really find out what's bothering their clients. Maybe you should consider signing mister Dennis there. Anyway, please follow me," he smiled at me and I nodded.

Is it really that bad with Delirious? Is he going to hurt himself again in the future?

I followed the doctor and he opened the door for me. Seeing Delirious sleep on the hospital bed made my eyes watery again. I felt like an invisible hand squeezed my heart and I knew this was my doing, my fault.

I sat down next to him, softly taking his hand into mine. He looked so weak, so vulnerable. I quickly looked down, ashamed of myself. Guilt was eating me from inside and I didn't really know how to stop it, how to express my regret to the person I loved the most.

My phone suddenly rang and with my free hand I pulled it out from my pocket. It was Luke and I bit my lower lip, new panic consuming my body.

Should I tell him what happened? He's going to freak out. I shouldn't worry him but Delirious is so close to him. He should know!

I answered the phone call, never letting go off Delirious' hand.

"Evan, finally! So? What's the update?" He asked quickly and even I could hear some sort of worry in his voice.

"Please, don't panic. He's fine, he's aliv-," I started, when he jumped into my speech.

"What?! What happened?"

"He tried to hang himself," I whispered, pictures from seeing his body in the air filled my mind and my body started to shake.

"What?"

"He's in the hospital, alive. I have a feeling this is because of what he thought, Luke. I've never wanted to ignore him to make him try to kill himself. I just wanted to surprise him with that stupid slave thing. Jesus, this is all my fault," I cried out, unintentionally squeezing Delirious' hand.

"No, listen, stop! Stop crying. This is definitely not your fault, do you hear me? He's alive, that's all that matters for now. Unfortunately, I'm still stuck in Chicago but I count on you to take care of him. I'll call a few people and move him from the hospital to his house. He hates hospitals. Just stay with him, ok? Try to get some answers."

I slowly nodded, even though Luke couldn't see it. His calming and reassuring voice soothed me down, something I needed.

"Thanks Luke. I'll keep you updated."