Authors note

Hey um, this chapter might have been all over the place because I was writing it over the week and I have been side tracked a lot. Sorry that there's no Cassie or Gabe in here. 

That night Sam's POV

Dean was right, dad had left. I expected him to stay at least a little, seeing as Dean stopped him from doing what he wanted to do. I don't blame him for blaming me. Hell I blame me. Dean and now Gabe keep telling me it's not my fault. But Dean knows that's a lie. It is my fault. It started in my nursery, I'm the one that cried. She woke up because I cried. I wish she would have lived, even if it meant I died. I'm in my room, on my bed, staring at my ceiling. That's when I realize I started crying. Not with sound, I learned how to cry without the whimpering or anything else. I never wanted to wake Dean up.

"Sammy?" Dean asks, I quickly wipe my tears away and sit up.

"Yeah D?"

"Can I come in?"

"If it's Cas you're asking about that's up to him." I joke.

"W-what?! DUDE c'mon."

"Yeah, but hey you didn't say no about the joke."

"I mean he is hot." He says as he walks in.

"Knew it."

"Anyways that's not why I'm here."

"Why are you here?"

"When I came in here this morning, you had tear stains. Is everything okay? I know how you feel about yelling and don't you dare comment on this being a chick-flick moment, I just care about you."

"Honestly Dean, no I'm not, there is a lot wrong. There's the thing with Gabe, I love him, but dad will disown me. Then," I take a deep breath knowing I might get yelled at, "there's mom... Dean, dad blames me, I blame me, I know you blame me. Don't deny it, if I hadn't cried that night you never would have lost mom."

"Maybe I never would have lost mom, but I would have lost you, Gabe would have lost you, Sammy, things would have been different, you know that. None of this is your fault. Dad being the way he is, mom, nothing is your fault. Dad just can't find the heart to blame God, because he made mom his soulmate, that's his fault, dad also can't get over the fact that we don't choose our soulmates, and if we choose to love them. That's all dad's fault. And no I don't blame you, at all, how can I? You're all I have, all I have left of our old life. I would never change that. Because I care too much about you." Dean's speech had me close to crying, none of the words have occurred to me. It's weird to think that I was all Dean had.

"But Dean, if I would have died, you wouldn't have to protect me from dad. You wouldn't have to worry about me."

"Shut up Sam, just shut up. I would rather do that than wake up everyday knowing that I couldn't protect you when I was four. I couldn't wake up knowing that. I would rather stay up and make sure you're safe than not have you here."

"I'm sorry Dean." I say my voice soft and shaky.

"It's fine Sammy, just, you've gotta stop thinking like that, I'll get you help if you need it, anyways I'm working on getting a job from Uncle Bobby. Just stop thinking like that, that's all I ask. Because if you left me, I... Sammy, I can't lose you, I need you."

"Wait, Uncle Bobby lives here? And I'll be fine, I'm sorry Dean."

"Again you're fine Sammy, and yeah, I'm heading there in a bit. Wanna come?"

"YES." I shout happy. Dean laughs.

"Alright, get cleaned up, we're heading there in ten."

"Okay."

I run my hands through my hair, getting it neat, and grab my homework, I'll do it at Bobby's, and hop in the car.

~~~Dean's POV~~~

We headed to Bobby's a few minutes ago, it feels good to go there, I've missed him. When we get there Sammy's already unbuckling before I even turn, he's really excited. I pull up and park, us both getting out to knock. We're greeted by an old, gruff, drunk that we call our uncle Bobby. He might be a drunk but he isn't like dad, he's the one who raised us for about two years, until dad found out that he had let Sammy get too close to a boy, not relationship close but closer than he would have preferred. After that, dad didn't let us near him, he still doesn't but he's not going to know.

"Hey Dean, Sam, how are you kids?"

"We're good Uncle Bobby, how about you?" Sammy answered for me.

"Better now that John is letting me see you guys, glad to see he hasn't done anything too bad."

"Uh, actually Bobby, he isn't letting us over here, we moved here at the end of summer, dad has only been here once with us, that was last night. We're actually here because we missed you, and I wanted to ask something."

"Boys, don't get in trouble being here, I know what John does and I don't want to be the reason. But come inside, if John finds out I'll take the blame, I don't want anything to happen to you boys."

"Okay, and he won't, we'll be careful." I responded. We walk in and sit in the living room, and wait for him to come in, he went to the kitchen to grab a beer.

"So what did you want to ask me?"

"Well, I was wondering if maybe I could get a job with you, in the garage."

"Dean, you are amazing with cars, and I respect you, so yes you can, but you better tell me when John is back, or something so I know when to call you off, you need to be there for Sam."

"Hey, I'm right here, I can keep my own." Sammy piped up.

"Sam, I know you can, but I don't want you getting hurt."

"Sammy, remember our chat, if dad gets to you, you can't say that you won't try anything stupid."

"But, De, I can handle him. I have before." Sam says softly, and shrinking back into himself.

"What do you mean Sammy? I've always stopped him." I am so confused right now, and scared, what if dad did get to him, what if he did something to himself.

"There was a night, a few years ago, maybe when I was four, when you were in that boy's home, dad was drunk, saying how you left me and didn't care, and how I deserved it." Sam spoke broken and slow.

"What? Sammy you know that wasn't true right? Please tell me you didn't actually believe him." I begin to panic, what if he did, what if I failed him.

"Sam, answer him honestly, I don't want this night to be full of truths with little lies just because you don't want feelings hurt." Bobby interjected, wanting to make sure everyone was honest.

"De, you have to believe me when I say I don't believe him now, but when I was four and you just disappeared, I got scared and dad started yelling, I was crying and he just yelled more. De, I don't blame you at all, and I don't want you to blame yourself. But back then, yes I believed him, I wrote on my arm, well drew, remember how you had those bruises from dad? When you left that day, how they formed in the morning from the night before, I got the same ones, and I drew around them, making them stand out and accidentally made my soul- Gabe, and his family see it, I hope they forgot and yeah I regret it, but you got away, you weren't harmed these months with Sonny, I was glad that you were safe, but sad that you left me."

"Sammy, I didn't mean to leave you, I never meant to, I'm glad you don't believe it anymore, just I don't want you hurt Sammy, neither does Bobby, or Gabe, or Cas or anyone."

"Ya' idjit's, why don't we have dinner, get caught up more, hopefully happy stories, and then you can head home for bed and school tomorrow, sound like a plan?" Bobby said, lightening the mood.

"It sounds good Bobby."

~~~Sammy's POV (At dinner, the roadhouse :b)~~~

I'm thinking over what Dean said, about Gabe and Cas not wanting me hurt. I mean yeah, we've known each other for what, we met September third I think, it is now October first, huh almost a month. But they shouldn't be attached, we won't stay like dad says, he hates me, but maybe we will, since if we move too much I could start failing and then get dad investigated and he then what would happen to us, me and Dean, I mean sure Dean can leave legally but he can't take me, he isn't that legal yet. And dad wouldn't let Dean, besides Dean is the perfect soldier for him, unless it came to me, I don't understand why he never questions the man. Like where does he go when he drops us places. Or why he doesn't come back for weeks on end.

"Hey De, why do you think that Cas and Gabe and everyone care for me? We've told them about moving and everything, so why would they waste their time getting attached?"

"Sammy, to begin with you're Gabe's soulmate, second off, you can't help who you get attached to, even if warned, no one whats to know what's coming unless it's all good for everyone like say we do move again, we will have the memories and you could still text him, it isn't like we aren't going to keep in touch."

"Oh." I say as I ponder, why can't people see why I'm trying to stop them from caring, I'm nothing, I don't help anyone. Hell I can't stop my dad, I couldn't stop mom from dying, I couldn't stop Dean getting abused, I couldn't stop Gabriel from seeing what I wrote on myself, I couldn't stop me from hating myself. I almost forgot where we were, almost.

"Kid's this is Ellen, she's Jo's mom." Bobby pipes up, making my thoughts shift.

"Nice to meet you ma'am." I say as politely as I can.

"Don't be so formal kid, don't make me feel old, I already am reminded every day with Jo being a senior."

"Sorry." I mumble and take a seat. As I look around I start to notice how it's decorated, two pool tables to the left, a bar with stools in the middle of the place, tables littering everywhere, and there's ash, sleeping, on the ground. I have a blank stare and just blink at him, before breaking out in giggles.

"What's funny Sammy?" Dean asks.

"Ash-" Breath of air,"Is on the ground sleeping." I finish finally calming down just to hear Dean laugh and take a picture, oh that son of a bitch. I walk over to Ash and kick him, not hard but enough to make him stir awake, he looks drunk oh dear.

"Huh, what, I'm up." He says rather too fast.

"Sup dude, why are you panicked?" Dean says.

"Oh, heh, um I'm supposed to be working and I'm not supposed to drink, at all. Uhhh don't tell Ellen."

"Don't worry, besides she's busy catching up with Bobby." I say quickly.

"Sweet."

"Yeah, anyways what's up dude? Why were you passed out, and what are you doing working here? I've seen your computer skills, you should be somewhere with your skills." I respond

"Well, I only use my skills to help people, not to gain money, I work here to help Ellen and Jo, they get a lot of business and I can have beer whenever my shift is over."

"Huh, but aren't you like seventeen?" Dean asked.

"Yup, that's the best part, she let's me as long as we don't get caught, and I'm not driving." And the conversation ended there, mainly because Ellen and Bobby walked up.

"What do you boys want to eat?"

"I'll take a burger and fries." Of course Dean would get that.

"Do you have salads?"

"Yep, is that what you want?" I nodded, "Alright kids I'll be right out, and Ash get back to work."

"Yeah yeah, anyways bye guys, gotta go."

"See ya." We say as we sit down.

"So, tell me some stories from the last time we were together." Bobby said.

"Oh, Sammy here found his soulmate." Dean said.

"Really? Well who is she?" Bobby asked, uhh awkward.

"Um, actually, Uncle Bobby." I trail off.

"It's a guy, isn't it? That's alright, I'm not anywhere near how John is." Bobby had added.

"Oh, um, yeah it's a guy and um, he's actually Gabriel Novak, him and his family moved here when he was ten I think."

"Yeah, I know the Novak's, I met Chuck when they first moved here, a damned alcoholic, but he wasn't abusive or any shit."

"Yeah, I haven't heard of Chuck yet, but I do know of Castiel, Lucifer, Anna, Samandriel, and Michael ."

"Sammy, how do you know all of them? I only know Cassie and Lucifer." Dean said.

"Oh, um, yesterday night, well this morning, when dad slammed the door and you and him started arguing, I texted Gabe and he sent a voice clip and he was talking about them." I said shakely.

"Oh, yeah."

"Wait, what happened this morning?" Bobby asked.

"Um, dad got drunk last night, Gabe was over but we're just friends right now, and he passed out so I walked him home. When I got home I went to bed, so about eleven, and got woken up at around two by dad slamming his bedroom door, and was walking to what I assume was my room. But was stopped, by Dean, who I think was still awake-"

"No I slept lightly Sammy, I didn't want anything to happen." Dean interjected.

"Oh, um, anyways they started yelling and I started to break down, so I texted Gabe and he responded and started helping. So he sent the clip and I might have fallen asleep to it."

"Aww, does Sammy have a boyfriend?" Dean cooes.

"No, we are taking it slow, we've only been friends for like a month."

"Riiiggghhhtttt. And that works so well when you tell each other 'I love you' and fall asleep cuddling."

"Well, shut up, how about you and Cas huh? I see how you stare at each other and the comment before we came and found Uncle Bobby."

"What now?" Dean asked surprised.