I'm sorry in advance.
_____________________________ Third Person

Dean gulped down two shots of whatever the hell he order. The guy tending the bar smacked another beer in front of Dean. Then slung a towel over his shoulder and focused his attention to the strange man who had been there all night.

"So what's your story?" Dean looked up and met the guys big brown eyes and soft face, Dean smirked and took a sip of beer.

"Let's just say I'm the biggest jackass to ever walk the earth." He stared off in the distance, remembering the blue of his eyes.

"I wouldn't say that, sweetheart. Come on, what happened." The man put a hand on Dean's gently, but he was too buzzed up and angry. He jerked the guys hand off him and jumped out of the bar stool.

"Don't sweetheart me!" He growled, he met the guys's scared eyes that reminded him of the angels. His expression softened.

"Look I'm sorry, you're sweet, and I'd put the moves on ya' in any other situation but..." he clenched his jaw, fighting back tears. He sat down in the stool again and smiled at brown eyes.

"So what's your name, brown eyes?"

"Elliot. I'm Elliot." Elliot smiled.

"Pleasure to meet ya' , I'm Dean." Dean held out his hand and Elliot shook it.

"Look I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry."  He said, looking sympathetic.

"Ah don't worry, listen, it's just, I lost someone recently." Dean trailed off, he took a deep breath before continuing. " It was my fault... I fucked up and now he's gone." The beer glass sat in front of him started to blur as tears came to his eyes. He quickly whipped them away.

Elliot walked out from behind the bar and sat beside Dean, putting an arm over his shoulder.

"I'm sorry Dean... " Elliot said quietly.

Dean just nodded. He got out of the stool, he couldn't cry in front of some stranger.

He said goodbye to Elliot and he gave Dean a big hug, it was definitely appreciated.

Dean sat in the drivers seat of the Impala and cried. He pinched the bridge of his nose as his breathe hitched in his throats and his whole body shuddered. He tried to calm his breathing and leaned his head back, stoping more tears from rolling down his face.

His breathe slowed down and he he shut his eyes gently. Dean looked at the passenger seat to his right and pictured a smiling blue-eyed angel to be sitting there. But Dean was alone.

"Damnit Cas..." he said under his breathe, "Why'd you have to die?" More tears welled up and he forced face into his shaking hands. He jumped slightly and looked up once he felt a warm hand on his left shoulder, but no one was there.

"Dean." Said a deep, familiar voice. He spun his head around to see Castiel sitting in the car with him.

Dean lunged forward and hugged Cas with everything he could.

"Cas." He whispered, still crying. Castiel pushed Dean away and gave him a sympathetic look.

"Dean, it isn't really me, I'm still dead." Dean's heart broke again and he realized what was happening.

"I fell asleep didn't I? I'm dreaming this."

Cas tilted his head, "Well not exactly. This is my spirit, but you are correct I've visited you in a dream." Dean hugged Cas again.

"I miss you so much Cas." He mumbled.

"I miss you too." Cas cradled the hunter's shaking shoulders and kissed his head before Dean sat up.

"I'm so sorry. Cas I am so sorry i got you killed, it was all my fault." Castiel grabbed Dean's tear soaked face and kissed his gently with care.

"Dean you must understand, I chose this. The gun was aimed at you and I knew I couldn't let you die." He said.

"Oh so it's okay that you did!" Dean was repressing his guilt with anger.

"You're life is worth more, Dea-" Cas tried to assure.

"Bull!" Dean started crying again and Castiel placed his hand gently on the mans left shoulder.

"Dean listen to me. My life was full of nothing but mistakes, I made so many horrible things happen, I destroyed so many innocent lives."

"But you saved to many, too, Cas." Dean argued.

"Thanks to you. You helped me become a free thinker. You gave me the chance to be who I wanted to be. My life meant nothing before I saved you from hell. I meant nothing." Cas said.

"Alright that is not tru-"

"It is Dean! I meant nothing! I was worth nothing! The only thing my existence was ever worth was the day I gave it up for you. I don't regret dying. It was worth it, worth it to save you." He finished.

Dean didn't know what to say, he just hugged Castiel and kissed him once more, knowing he'd wake up soon.

"I love you Cas. I love you so much."

"I love you too Dean. Goodbye." Castiel pressed his middle and index finger to Dean's forehead and Dean jolted upright. He was sat alone again, in the impala. He didn't know what to do. So he cried.

________________________________Dude this was so shitty I'm sorry:/