"He's gunna be okay Dean, he always is," Sam tried to reassure me, but there was no use. Cas had almost died not long ago and he had said he loved us. Well he kind of said he loved me and then added on the 'I love all of you'. But does he love me? No, he couldn't. I shouldn't even be focusing on that now. Cas was missing and we needed to find him, he could be dead, I thought. Don't think like that Dean, come on.

I shook the thought from my head and stood up, heading to my room after saying goodnight to Sam. I sat down on my bed, and started praying. For the first time in a while, but I was desperate.

"Hey Cas? Castiel, if you can hear me, please come back. I-I don't know why you left but whatever it is, we can work through it man. Please Cas, just come back to me," I wanted to correct myself and say 'us', but I didn't. "I miss you buddy, please just... Please don't be dead." I couldn't help it when a silent tear rolled down my face, but I wiped it away quickly. I looked at the ticking clock beside my bed that read 10:49, the problem was I couldn't tell if it was in the morning or at night. I haven't been out of the bunker in two days, mostly because if Cas finds his way here, I don't want him to come home to an empty house.

I looked down at my hands, covered in scars and calluses. I tried to focus on them and take my mind off things but the more I tried, the more I thought of Cas' hands. I wonder if his are as beaten up as mine are, or maybe he heals them. I wonder how it would feel to hold his hand, not just briefly to help him up like usual, but actually hold his hand in mine just to be together.

Jesus Christ I sound like a crappy love song. He's an angel anyway, I doubt he'd feel like that about me. Though many people have joked about me and him being in love. Maybe they saw something I didn't.

I groaned and slapped my hands over my eyes, I didn't feel like thinking about this. Too many emotions that would probably end up badly if I ever tried to pursue them. So I just laid back on my bed and tried to sleep a little.

I felt my shoulders start to relax, until I heard a loud "DEAN!"

I jumped right up, that voice was Sam's. I ran into the main room of the bunker and clutched the gun attached to my thigh. I let go when I saw him, his hair matted with blood and that beige trench coat soaked scarlet. Cas was being helped down the stairs by Sam, who looked at me desperately to help him.

"Cas! Jesus Christ, what happened?!" I yelled throwing the angels left arm over my shoulder. His eyes opened and I met them, I missed the blue, but it broke my heart to see one was swollen almost shut and the other had tears pooling.

"Dean..." Cas breathed out. He let go of Sam as a tear finally fell. He collapsed onto me and began crying into my shoulder. I held him up from the waist and leant my head against his.

"Shhh, it's okay Cas. You're okay." I cooed, I made eye contact with Sam who still looked in pure shock, he then nodded towards the angels back. I looked down to see two long blood stains, starting at his shoulder blades. I reached my hand up and gingerly touched his back. But when I did Cas let out a sudden groan.

"Sorry," I whispered feeling bad. I looked back at Sam, "come on, help me get him to my room."

Sam just nodded and we held up most of his weight before I tried to put him on my bed. Cas just kept holding onto me, I realized then he was nearly unconscious, but he still managed to say one thing, "don't leave me."

I felt my heart shatter, "I won't, I will never leave you okay? Come on, just lay down."

He did. He laid down slowly on his side, not wanting to put his back against the bed.

"Cas what happened to you?" I asked, when he didn't answer I patted my hand on his shoulder, "Cas? Come on buddy, stay with us."

His eyes closed and the hand he was holding mine with dropped. Angels don't sleep.

"Sam! Sam he's out, Sam angels don't sleep they don't sleep!" I started panicking, and Sam just put a hand on my shoulder.

"Dean, calm down okay? Don't jump to conclusions. Look at his chest, it's still rising and falling. He's okay Dean," I looked at Castiel's chest and Sam was right, he was breathing. I let out a sigh of relief before reaching one hand to the side of his face and place two fingers under his neck. I felt soft thumps telling me his heart was beating normally.

"He's alive, but Sammy why is he sleeping?" I asked standing up, but not taking eyes off of Cas.

"Do you, do you think he's human?" Sam said slowly. Maybe the blood was from his wings...

"Help me take his jacket off," I said and we started turning him onto his stomach. I pulled off the trench coat best I could, knowing Cas would hate for me to cut it off. When it came to his shirt however, I pulled out my blade and sawed down the middle of his back.

My throat hitched and I heard Sam gasp when two, thick and deep cuts revealed themselves.

"Stitches, cloth, bandages, and gin. Right now," I said harshly, and Sam ran off before quickly coming back holding the supplies.

I grabbed one of the two cloths Sam brought shoved one in Cas' mouth. This was gunna hurt, and he might wake up.

I poured the clear alcohol onto the other cloth and laid it across both cuts, before pouring more on top. Cas groaned loudly and squirmed a little before becoming unconscious again.

I wasn't usually squeamish, but there was something about seeing Cas in so much pain that made me want to throw up. The white cloth on his back quickly turned red and I pulled it off. I got up and sat on one side of the bed, stitching up the left cut while Sam did the right. He finished his quickly but my hands where too shaky. He just looked at me with pity.

"Lemme do it." He said, I tried to put up a strong front and handle it, but I just gave the needle to Sam and sat myself in front of Cas.

Sam finished the job and left me to be alone with Cas. I'm not sure why, but I was grateful. I looked down at Cas' limp hand and saw that it was swelling and his knuckles carried dried blood. He put up a fight. I felt a smile creep on my face as I held his hand. I sat there awhile, just rubbing his hand gently and watching his chest rise and fall.

I jumped when I felt his fingers curl around my own, "Cas?" I said desperate, and I watched as his good eye opened and met mine.

"Dean," He said weakly, "I'm sorry Dean I tried I'm sorry."

"Hey hey, don't be sorry. Just tell me what happened, okay?" He took a shaky breathe before talking again.

"I met an angel, not long ago. He said heaven would let me back if I helped find Dagon," he looked down like he was ashamed, "When i got there though, they... they tortured me. I just wanted to do something good dean, I never do anything right an I wanted to come back to you with a win, but the angels only wanted to punish me. Which I deserved, and they took my wings..."

I didn't know what to say. I wanted tell him it wasn't his fault and that he didn't deserve it, I wanted to get mad at him for trusting the angels. The tears coming from his eyes made up my mind. I climbed into bed beside him, pushed my fingers through his hair and smiled and him gently. "It's not your fault Cas, and you didn't deserve this okay? You are nothing but good."

He opened his mouth like he was about to protest, but he just blinked and gave me a weak smile. "Thank you Dean."

I kissed his forehead and pulled him into a hug, his face pressed against my chest and my chin resting in his hair. "You're gunna be okay, Cas. I'm gunna take care of you, alright?" He looked up at me.

"Alright." With that I closed my eyes as I felt his hot breath against my chest.

"Dean?" I heard him mumble.

"Mmh?"

"I love you," I felt myself start smiling wildly.

"I love you too, Cas," I tightened my arms around shoulders and we slowly drifted to sleep.