*Bucky's POV*

          For the fifth time tonight, I've dialed the same number that I've memorized forwards and backwards by heart. I don't know why I keep trying, but I don't know what else to do. The phone continuously rings, and each time, my heart breaks a little bit more as the girl I swore to protect is back in harm's way. And it's all my fault. I let her run out that door and I didn't stop her or go after her right away because I wanted to give her space.

And that's the last thing I should've done because I allowed her to think of anything other than of her surroundings.

Ring. Ring. Ring. No answer. Ring. Ring. Ring...

"Who is this?" the familiar voice comes on the other side of the line, annoyance clear in their tone.

I thought I had all the right words to say, but the moment I hear his voice on the other side of the line, I freeze. All thoughts and communication skills leave me and all I'm left with is a dreadful silence and heavily breathing.

He clears his throat, waiting for a response that never comes. "Hello? Who's calling me?"

I sniffle, as I wipe away the tears that well in my eyes. Trying to speak, a crack mutters out, my voice failing to say the words I never wanted to speak.

"If you don't tell me who you are, I'm going to hang up"

Running a hand through my tangled brown hair, I clench the phone tighter in my hand as the sadness and regret consumes me whole.

"I know what you felt now, Steve," my voice cracks, and I clear my throat, hoping that it doesn't happen again.

Steve inhales sharply, like he found the one thing he's been looking for all along. Evidently, that would be true, for that matter.

"Bucky? Bucky, is that you?"

A faint laugh manages to get out, "I know what you felt when you watched me slip and fall from that train."

          Silence takes over again, greeting me like an old friend. One that I joined me whenever things began to go south and I can't muster the strength to tell it to leave. But after all this time and all this time being alone, is it really there, in the end?

"...Bucky, what are you talking about?"

Nearly choking, I shove the sob that I've been holding in for quite some time, back down my throat in order for me to answer this question, truthfully. I can't do this alone because Avalon is out there, being torture to become someone that she fought to destroy all along.

"They took her. Hydra took Avalon and I couldn't stop it"

          And that was all it took. One phone call and Steve Rogers was on his way to Bucharest to help me find the girl who has changed every single life she's encountered. The girl behind the assassin is missing and I fear that she isn't going to come back this time around. Avalon was the one who decided to become a better person and was willing to help those who needed it because she believed that it would help her become a better person. Surely, it was enough and it did.

Now, she's right back at the beginning because she began to lose herself in the midst of her own self destruction. A destruction that began to happen over time; one that she didn't know because Avalon believed that she could ignore all the signs that were screaming at her to slow down that she forgot to look at the sudden danger that was presented right in front of her.

~

*Avalon's POV*

          My eyes flutter open, only to be greeted by bright lights and the hum of electricity. Examining my surroundings, it seems that I'm in an abandoned building that I vaguely recognize. I've been here before. As panic would consume me, it doesn't because for the first time in a long time, I feel empty and tranquil. I feel like I'm in a place where nothing really matters and the weight of the world in on my shoulders, if that makes any sense.

          But most importantly, I feel trapped within myself. Two voices are screaming inside my head, distracting my thoughts, but really, whose thoughts are they? And why do I feel like I'm not alone in my own mind? Most noticeably, what voice do I follow when both have been a part of me for as long as I can remember? Not that what I've done with my life and the horrors I've been forced to place upon people is okay, I'm trying to become a better version of myself. Ironically, in the midst of my own self destruction and my cause to find out the truth, I lost all hope on becoming the person I strove to be. Now, look where I am; back in Hydra's possession and there's nothing to change that.

          I'm right back where I started; where the assassin was created and all I can do is sit back and let it happen because there's no way out of this one. There's too much at risk and I can't lead myself back out of my own misery. Evidently, I realize that I'm no longer Avalon nor am I the Red Ghost. Simply, I'm the girl that exists in between the good and evil; the girl lost in the wasteland of time and emotion because whatever I feel and whatever I think, it's the combination of all the hate and all the good that both identities try to create. I don't exist within myself because there's no room to be good, evil, and nothing all at the same time.

"Well, Soldier, I have to say I'm impressed," says a man, in his late fifties says as he walks into the room and shuts the metal door behind him.

This is the first encounter I've had with a Hydra agent since I've been under the control of Alexander. That being said, this is the first time I'm not tied to a chair and being tortured either. Something isn't right. Shut up, this is exactly how it's supposed to happen. This is what you want, Avalon, don't fuck it up again. Both voice try to overthrow one another, but nothing works and I'm just a third party, listening a married couple argue in my head.

I crack my knuckles and let out a mischievous laugh, "Impressed with the fact that I've managed to almost get past your wiring and out run you for almost three years? Because I think that's probably my greatest accomplishment."

"Almost," the man says, pointing out a flaw in my statement, only for my eyes to roll at his comment. "Now, look where you are. You're back where it all began and you're not running away. You're not trying to fight it like you always have, why is that?"

          You see, the thing is, is that I've managed to accept the fact that I can't be a good person sometimes. There are times where I have every instinct to kill every person that causes me pain and sorrow or just anyone that I find to be a threat. But there are times where the girl I used to be, the forensic scientist, shines through, and she makes me want to save the world and become this hero that everyone wants me to be. I can't be happy and strong all at the same time because happiness shows weakness and being strong shows power. Knowing that, I can just hope that one day, I can become half the person I hoped to be, but I can't because someone else created me into a weapon; an atomic bomb, just waiting for me to go off.

And that bomb is slowly ticking, waiting to explode.

"In every story, there has to be a villain," my voice lacks emotion, my eyes dead focused on the man. Kill him. Kill him. "I've tried to run away from the concept of being a villain, but every time I try to do good, I manage to do evil. Because now I know that running isn't the answer and I'm tired of running away from evil when I've been it the entire time."

          In this moment, I realize that not only did I give up my humanity, but I also gave up my right to live. In this moment, I realized that I cannot have happiness and the truth.

"You've done remarkable things for Hydra. We only hope that you can do the same, once again," he says, but something sparks within him and confusion contorts my face. "You don't remember me, do you?"

I shake my head in response, my memory of the man completely gone. I don't recognize him. Should I?

"I'm Dr. Xavier Pine," the name starts to click, but I can't put a memory to his name. "After joining Hydra's cause, I became in charge of you. I was the one who sent you to kill your father."

          With every word, every pause, every breath that this man took, I realized that he was the one who put me through all that torture after all those years of training and all the surgeries I was forced to undergo. He was the cause of all of this and yet, he has the audacity to stand here, right in front of me, and expect me to remain calm. It doesn't work that way. Not with me. I don't care what you say, Red, but I sure as hell know that I am not a puppet.

My hands grip tightly against the metal bars of the table I sit on, my knuckles turning almost a pale white. A smirk forms on my face as I look him dead in the eyes.

"Ah, yes, the newbie who never knew what the hell he was doing," I state, amused by my own words, and nervousness washes over the doctor. "But I can admit, sending me to kill my own father was probably the best mission you've ever sent me on. Other than that, I want you dead."

          He tries his hardest to not be nervous as his weight shifts from foot to foot. Pine can't quite keep his grey eyes locked on mine because their darting across the room, trying to avoid my deadly gaze. He's disturbed by my words--and my presence, kind of--nevertheless, he attempts to keep his composure, even if he lacks the ability to do so.

But all emotion leaves his features, only the right corner of his lip twitches upwards and he looks at me with a cold stare.

"Hmm. Maybe one day, I'll let you end me, Red Ghost," his words are spoken in a soft hum, but he moves dangerously close to me, leaning in as his hot breath fans my ear. "But when you do, remember that I controlled you even then. I've always controlled everything you've ever done and every thought you've ever dreamed. Remember that."

          When he backs away, I can see the dangerous glimmer that lies beyond the surface. It is though the evil that runs in his veins is only visible to those who pay attention; to those who know evil when they become face to face with it. Right now, right at the moment, I'm faced against my worst enemy, the only one who has a hold on my mind, and I cannot move because this doctor is the one person who can fix this. But in this day and age, the good guys aren't easy to find. Then again, what is good when I've been faced against--and became--evil my entire life?

          And suddenly, Pine is jabbing my neck with a needle, filled with a black substance. One that I know isn't safe, but Hydra doesn't care what they do. They can do whatever the hell they want to people because a human life means nothing to them. They want monsters; they want soldier who can withstand anything that is thrown at them. And you were that soldier.

          He pushes the needle, letting the substance seep into my veins, it slowly burning my insides alive. But I don't move. I don't fight because it doesn't hurt anymore. Because it's the beginning of the end of the person I tried to become. Avalon is dead. Avalon is dead. With the end of my free life, I mumble out a few words.

"I'll remember alright. I'll remember the way the light fades from your eyes"

a/n - this is probably my favorite chapter, but i love this story with my entire heart so i meannnn. let me know your thoughts, concerns, or about any other questions you may have. - kenzie