Bucharest, Romania | 7:13 pm

          I couldn't breathe after that moment. The tension soon grew back again, stronger than the last moment. But most of all, it was the utter silence that felt as it was eating me alive. Now, with the wind blowing through my hair as I run aimlessly down an empty street, the memory keeps running through my mind. I want to forget because I know I'll never be able to feel something like that again, but Bucky Barnes ignited a spark from within me and I can't stop it from burning.

I can still feel the trace of his fingertips on my skin. His breath fanning over my face. The chills running up my spine as I froze in my place, not wanting to move as I felt our hearts begin to beat as one. But most of all, I can still feel his lips pressed against mine, making me feel like we were the only two people in the world that existed and I would've been okay with that.

But that moment would be the last time I'd feel like I meant something more than the assassin everyone perceives me to be. The fireworks I felt would soon die into a distant memory, waiting in a corner of my mind, slowly burning with each day that passes.

           As much I'd love to live in the moment, I'm afraid to admit that I can't; for the sole purpose that I, Avalon Jane Rawlins, cannot distract myself from the real dangers in the world. But most importantly, I cannot distract myself from rewiring my brain to disconnect myself from Hydra's control. Because I know it's still in there; I know she's still in there, waiting to be unleashed and if that happens, I don't ever think I'll be able to pull myself out of that state. I'll be trapped within myself because I'm out of chances for myself. There would be no turning back because with all the damage I've caused to the world and to those whom I care deeply about, I couldn't go home. There will be no place for me in the world any longer and I'm not ready for that when the time comes.

Avalon Jane Rawlins loves James Buchanan Barnes. The Red Ghost loves no one because she's incapable of love. As long as she exists, even in the slightest, I can't be with him. No matter how much it eats away at my heart.

          How much time has past is completely passed me. It feels like I've been running for hours, in search for a solution that will never come. But it's something in my heart that feels off. Going to a steady walk, I look in the direction of the sunset, slowly burning over the city of Bucharest. Standing in the middle of an empty street, I feel as if I'm not the only one who lurks in these streets. Reaching for the knife underneath my pant leg, I cautiously walk forward, eyeing every dark corner that passes by me. My heartbeat picks up, a sense of fear consumes me and it shocks me at the same time because I rarely have gotten this feeling before. But now, I'm consumed with it because in my heart and by my instinct, I know I'm not alone.

"Avalon!" I hear the sound of Bucky's voice coming from behind me.

I turn away from the sunset, my eyes lock onto Bucky's figure as he gets closer to where I am. Confusion lingers in my mind, wondering why the hell is he here. In matter of fact, how did he find me here, out of all places that he would have looked, but that is no matter.

Slowly, I begin to jog in his direction out of fear. Not only because I feel that I'm not alone, but because I don't think I can fight off whoever is lurking in the shadows on this very street. But time seems to move in slow motion, my movements seem sluggish and my instincts seem to fail me at all the wrong times.

          Shadows engulf me and I'm too late to fight them off. I become detained by their force, unable to move out of their undeniably strong hold. As my mind registers what's happening, I can't help but to see the boy of my dreams, fight for me. Fight to get me out of the arms of the enemy. But he's too late and I'm too weak to do anything. Something pinches my neck and instantly, my vision becomes dazed and I slowly start to slip away from reality, back into my own mind. Hydra would always find me. I've just been lucky to run far enough out of their reach recently, but now, I've stopped hiding and I've given myself up.

          For once in my life, someone was trying to save me, but it was a little too late. The boy of my dreams starts to fade from my vision as I enter a world that I know I'll never come back from. But little did I know that James Buchanan Barnes was coming after me for a reason; he felt as if I were in danger and he relied on the feeling in his heart to point him in the right direction. Because something within the both of us are connected someway, somehow.

As I'm greeted with complete darkness, all I hear is the five words that have a hold on my mind. The words that created me into the monster that terrifies me, alone.

наука (science). сорок четыре (forty-four). красный (red). Лаборатория (laboratory). опустошение (desolation).

a/n - i'm sorry for breaking your heart in this one. trust me, iM A MESS -kenzie