This chapter contains emotional trauma. Please read with caution.

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Isla felt as if the wind had been slammed out of her lungs, and she couldn't breathe properly. Her chest tightened, her throat strained.

Her eyes fell over the blond boy as he stood on the driveway up to her house, his coat stained by the icing dust of snow and his hair tousled.

Her fingers trailing across her thigh, she pinched herself, pushing her lips together not to gasp — but she needed to make sure she wasn't dreaming, that she didn't fall asleep next to the brunet.

Isla wasn't dreaming, and the blond indeed stood outside her house in the glacial weather, at Christmas, in the middle of the night.

She should be surprised, startled at the way he was showing up at the late hour, knowing that Theodore was staying at her house, but she tried not to be shocked.

Shaking her head, she peered over at the boy sleeping heavily in her bed before she unhooked the lock to her window, and she shoved wood wide.

The wind tugged at her sore skin underneath Theodore's oversized t-shirt, and she gasped at the cooly air. Bending over the windowsill, she stared down at him, wide-eyed and unsettled.

''What are you doing?'' She whispered, harshly yet quietly not to wake Theodore, ''What the hell are you doing—''

''Come down here, Clarke,'' Draco gritted, shoving his hands into his pockets as he glared up at her, ''I want to talk to you.''

''And I want to sleep!'' Isla shook her head, her hair dancing in the chilly seeps of wind as snowflakes pearled at the strands of it, ''It's three in the morning, Malfoy, and it's Christmas! What could you possibly want now?''

''I just told you!'' Draco snarled, shuddering as it ripped through his low vocals, ''I want to talk to you!''

''I don't want to talk to you—'' Swallowing the behavior she wished to bring upon him, she looked away, over her shoulder at Theodore, ''I can't, Malfoy.''

''Just get down here,'' Crossing his arms and raising a brow at her, Draco impatiently growled, ''For fucks sake, Clarke. You can come down here for ten minutes.''

''I can't!'' She almost hissed now, annoyed with his lack of understanding, ''Theodore is here, and you made yourself perfectly clear last time, so just leave—''

Dryly allowing his sight to gaze, he thought hard about what he could do to make her come outside. Malfoy needed to speak to her. It was Christmas, and usually — he adored the holidays but not anymore.

Now he loathed it, and just as he caught her huff out at the coldness, he stared up at the window again.

''I'll wake the whole damn house if you don't get yourself dressed and down here in the next three minutes,'' He threatened dangerously.

''No, you won't,'' Isla frowned, hugging herself tightly as her teeth began to shatter, and she could hear how Theodore was shuddering in his sleep by the open window, ''You can't even get into the house, Malfoy, and it doesn't matter. I don't want to see you—''

She was hewed off by Draco screaming loudly, at the top of his lungs almost, and it caused her to slam the window shut. Turning around and looking startled at the brunet as he dreamt.

Malfoy hushed, but for only a second before he inhaled, sharply, and he shouted again, throaty, raspy — yet it made the windows clinker and her veins to flood in panic.

Theo shifted in the covers of her bed, his bare chest heaving and his muscles flexed in the shadows of moonlight. Isla didn't want to leave him here. She just wanted to crawl back underneath the warm covers and hide from the world close to the boy she'd confessed her feelings to.

But something told her that Malfoy wouldn't cave. He wouldn't give in, and he'd wake the whole neighborhood just to prove a point. She knew that because if it was her — that would be exactly what she'd do to earn the attention she craved.

With her lashes screwed shut, cursing breathily, not to wake Theo, she arched her spine off the window, and she opened it. Looking down at him, with fury as it dashed in her pupils, she sighed, ''Ten minutes.''

Grinning as he sought to hide it, Malfoy nodded, ''That's all I'm asking for, Clarke.''

Isla shut the window, pacing nervously across her floor for minutes before she dragged her pants on and she slipped out in the hallway. Gently closing her door as she walked down the stairs, hauling her winter coat and gloves on.

Draco stood where she'd last seen him, on the driveway, and she marched towards him, unhesitatingly, halting feet apart.

''What is it?'' Isla mumbled, wrapping her arms around herself, feeling her shoes as they sunk into the snow.

Tipping his head, Malfoy smirked at her, amusingly, ''Well, hello to you too,'' He jeered, eyeing her down as his sight glued to the pants she was wearing, and he chuckled, ''Nice choice of clothes, Clarke.''

Rolling her eyes, she stared down at her legs, watching the loose striped material shading in light colors, ''What?'' Isla frowned, ''It's a pajamas, Malfoy. Yes, I'm in my nightclothes because it's the middle of the night. What would you have preferred? That I stepped out here naked?''

''I sure as hell didn't expect you to sleep next to Nott in your pajamas, and no, I wouldn't have minded you being naked—''

Her cheeks grew red at the words he was speaking, and she looked away from the icing eyes, burning into her, ''Who says I slept with my clothes on?''

Draco gulped, gritting his jaws at what she'd said, ''Don't—''

''Then don't start it,'' She huffed, sounding frustrated, ''What do you want, Malfoy? I'm really not in the mood for this—''

''Walk with me?'' He lowered his gaze, his hand dragged through his hair, ''I need to talk to you—''

''Now you want to talk?'' She rose a brow, feeling confused, ''You sure didn't want to talk to me back in school, before I left, so I don't understand what you want in the middle of the night—''

Draco growled, annoyed with her resistance, and he spun around, taking tracks away from the puzzled girl.

''Malfoy—''

''No, if you're acting like that, fuck it,'' He muttered, reaching further down the street as she slipped her gloves across her hair, and she couldn't begin to understand the audacity the blond boy carried.

''Merry fucking Christmas, Clarke!'' He shouted as he stormed away.

Isla threw her hands out in the air, and she yelled just as loud, ''Well fuck you too then!'' Turning around, she marched towards her door again, ready to slam it shut and never speak to Malfoy again.

But just as she closed her hand over the doorknob, she was yanked back. His hand trapped her shoulder, and he pulled her around, ''Fuck me? No, fuck you, Clarke,'' He seethed through his teeth, his eyes flashed in anger, ''I come here, hoping to talk to you and you treat me like I'm some fucking—''

''Then what do you want of me?'' Her voice was harsh in a whisper, ''Can you tell me that? Because I certainly don't understand you! You say that you slept with someone else, and then you ignore me for a whole week, and then, you show up here in the middle of the night, expecting me to be polite?''

''As if you didn't fuck Nott?''

Her eyes broadened, staring blankly at him.

''Yeah, that's what I fucking thought, and for your bloody information, Clarke,'' He tensed the grip of her shoulder, ''I didn't sleep with anyone, but you did, so no, I don't expect anything from you anymore.''

Shoving him back, she created a well-needed space between them, ''I didn't sleep with Theodore before tonight, Malfoy, and how am I supposed to know that you didn't sleep with anyone else? All you do is lie all the time just to hurt me. It was the same thing with Theodore's letter. You said you lost it—''

''I did lose it,'' He fired back, his fists balling, ''Yeah, I lied about fucking someone else, but that's only because—''

A hurtful pause lingered, clearing his throat, ''Why would I lie about the letter, Clarke? Why would I—''

Isla sighed, and she felt more than exhausted by all of the fighting and pain they kept drowning each other in. Hearing as his note shifted desperately, she rolled her neck, looking away from him.

She knew they couldn't stand outside her house in the middle of the night, yelling at each other without waking anyone.

Lowering her voice, she nodded towards the end of the street, ''Come,'' She whispered, and she walked past him, leaving him bewildered behind for minutes as he gathered the strength he knew he'd need for this.

Stalking after her in silence, neither of the two spoke a word to the other as they made their way across her neighborhood, and he scowled at her as she led him down a tiny path, passing a treeline, and suddenly the surroundings brightened.

''What is this?'' He asked, bafflingly at the sight of an iced lake in front of them.

Isla turned around, parting her lips as the mist of her warm breaths fused with the cool air, ''It's some peace and quiet, Malfoy. It seems like we both can use it.''

''Oh?'' He shouldered her to the side, mockingly, and a grin climbed him, ''I thought you brought me out here to drown me.''

Isla's irritated tone cracked in a peel of soft laughter, ''In a frozen lake?''

''Let's put it this way, Clarke. I never took you for someone that would throw themselves off the astronomy tower just to prove a point, and here we are. So yes, in a frozen lake.''

Isla sought not to let the smile she felt tugging at the corner of her lips spread upon her, but she couldn't, ''Then I suggest you behave.''

Turning silent again, Isla took careful steps out on the ice, hearing how the frosted snow covering it crackled underneath her shoes.

''What is this about, Malfoy?'' Isla asked, calmly now, ''I know you didn't come all the way here on Christmas just to check up on me.''

A bothered grimace mounted him, and he followed her act, shoeing his way out over the glazed water, ''Why would it be so wrong of me to check up on you?''

''Because you don't do that,'' She stated, burying her chin in the collar of her coat, ''You don't check up on me, there's a reason why you're here—''

''You're fucking cruel, you know that—''

''And you're not?'' She blinked quickly, water formed in the brim of her eyes of the harsh wind as it soared, ''I didn't come out in the middle of the night to fight, so either you tell me what this is about, or you don't, but I have to get back—''

''To him?''

She swallowed and looked away.

''Why did you even come outside, Clarke? Why would you even agree to see me if you didn't want to?'' Draco asked, fixing his stare on her.

Folding her arms, she scowled, ''Because you bloody shouted.''

That seemed to hurt him enough for his shoulders to sink and his cocky behavior exchanged for a silent one.

''I'm not doing this again, Draco. I don't want to do this anymore — I don't want to fight, and I certainly don't want to do it in the middle of the night,'' She tried to catch his eyes in hers, but he didn't level them, ''I don't know what there's left to talk about.''

It stung in his chest at the way she'd spoken his name, yet he didn't know if it caused him to be upset or cherish the way she told it.

Draco didn't answer her, and she noticed how he held himself back. Isla didn't like when he did that. She'd rather have him shout and yell at her than being silent, but he didn't clock to want either of those things.

She ran out of patience for the blond, and with a loud groan, Isla dropped to the ice. Placing herself on her back, she peered up, patting the ground next to her for him to join her, but he hesitated for moments.

''Just get over yourself and get down here,'' She muttered through her shuddering, ''I don't bite.''

''You might as well do,'' He kneeled down, lying next to her, ''You do bite, fucking hell, Clarke. Last time, you bit my lip so hard I had to fix it with a spell.''

''I did?'' She sounded shocked, tipping her head and gazing at him, ''I'm sorry—''

''Don't be,'' He rolled his hues, annoyingly as he meant to portray unbothered, ''I didn't mind it.''

Her skin reddened, her pulse paced, ''I'm glad you didn't...'' She hushed, feeling so confused as to why he was visiting her, ''Now tell me what's wrong.''

''I didn't say anything was wrong—''

''Lying doesn't help,'' She said, ''If you came here for a reason, and you changed your mind, that's alright. You don't have to talk to me, but if there's something you'd like to talk about—''

Malfoy sealed his eyes, only listening to her voice now.

''I want you to know that you can do that — talk to me, I mean.''

''I know I can,'' He quietened, his head tilting to see her, to scan her features and her eyes as they glinted, ''Do you hate me, Clarke? Is that why you're spending time with him?''

''Malfoy...''

''So you slept with him, yeah?'' Draco blurted out, craving to know the full answer to the question without searching her head. He didn't wish to do that anymore.

''He's in love with me....'' She whispered, her insides wrenching at the reality of it all, "He's in love with me, and I—''

''And you're in love with him,'' Draco finished, his voice laced with agony, ''I figured.''

''I don't want to choose,'' Isla straightened her neck, whispering to the boy as he kept his eyes hooked on her, ''I don't want to make this choice, Malfoy. I don't want to choose because I know I'll lose the one I don't pick.''

Scoffing, Malfoy did as she'd done. He stared up at the skies, ''Careful, Clarke. Your feelings are starting to show.''

''I don't want to hide them,'' Her spine felt heavy upon the ice as they both shuddered by the cold weather, ''I don't want to hide what I feel, but at the same time — at the same time I know that I'd lose one of you and you'd lose each other. I don't want that.''

His fingers moved across the glazed lake, and the tips of them brushed along the space where her coat and glove parted. Comforting her from a distance.

Isla didn't mind it. She found so much ease in his touch.

''Is this your way of telling me that—'' He paused, taking a breath at the silence, "That you're choosing him?''

Isla arched off the ice, sitting up, ''I'm not choosing anyone.''

''You have to—''

''Well, I'm not—''

''It's the law—''

''Then I choose myself!''

Draco stared at her now, knowing exactly how hard this must be for her. He'd been trapped in a similar battle between Isla and Pansy — where he was the one not being able to figure out his feelings.

''I think that's wise,'' He muttered, wanting to sound angry and displeased. Not wishing for her to see as his emotions shone right through him, ''If you're not choosing me — you better end up alone.''

Isla's lips parted at that, and she snapped her head. Her eyes matching his, ''That's a cruel thing to say, even for you.''

''Why?'' He shot up next to her, his hands bored into the layer of dusted snow, ''How is it—''

''Because you'd rather have me end up alone than with Theodore,'' Isla frowned. A doubtful mantle mastered her, ''Theo would never do that to me. He would rather see me happy, no matter if it's with him or not.''

''Then what the fuck are you doing here?'' Draco growled out, forcing himself off the ground and stepping away, ''Would he want you to be happy, Clarke? Would he want you to be happy even if he found out that you left him in bed only to sneak out with me—''

''That's the bloody difference between your two!'' Isla didn't have any temper left to spare. She simply lashed out, ''He would never threaten me like that. He'd rather lose me than hurt me, but you're not like that, are you? All you crave is to control me. You don't care that I slept with him. What you want is to do it better, to make yourself feel better. Would you act like this if he wasn't my other choice? Would you even bother looking at me if this didn't feed your ego?''

His lashes battled the surprise of her shouting at him.

''I didn't think so, Malfoy, and for your information — I wouldn't keep this from him. I'm allowed to do as I please, and he wouldn't have stopped me from seeing you tonight because he trusts me. He doesn't presume that I sleep with you just because I look at you. He would trust me, ever heard of that, Malfoy? Trust?''

Isla felt her blood as it boiled and her heartbeat as it mirrored in her ears.

''You're fucking unbelievable,'' Draco spat before he aimed to spin around, leave her on that lake and not look back, but the second he sought to do so — he was hit in the back of the head with something, ''What the—''

Isla stood with snow in her hand, firing another fist full of it at the blond, ''I'm unbelievable?'' She choked out, bending down to cup more snow, ''You're the one dragging me out from my own house in the middle of the night by screaming, and I'm unbelievable — you're the unbelievable one! Don't even try to pin this on me.''

''Stop it, Clarke.'' He took another struck of snow in his chest as he cocked his head, raising a brow, ''That's enough—'' 

''Why? Why is it always—'' She aimed another ball of flakes at him, ''—enough when you say it is?'' Her voice breathy, the haze misted around her, ''Why can't it be enough before you say things like—''

''Throw one more at me, I fucking dare you,'' Draco took snowball after snowball, and the boy didn't budge. He allowed her to throw them at him for minutes, getting rid of all that anger as she stood on a frozen lake in her ridiculous night pants, ''One more, Clarke.''

''I don't have to—'' She tried to breathe, but his slow steps up to her made it hard to focus, ''I don't have to listen to you—''

Snatching her wrists in his hands, he bent her arms down between them. His breaths tasted so sweet on her lips, ''No, you don't, yet you do as I say without blinking twice, why is that, Clarke? Why is—''

''Isla,'' She gritted, trying to yank her hands back, ''My bloody name is Isla. I feel like my mother when you keep calling me Clarke.''

Draco's face fell, his brows knitted, ''Fuck off, you really had to put that image in my head, did you?''

Grinning, slightly. Isla sucked her inner cheek in between her teeth, hiding her smile at how displeased he seemed, ''Yes. Now call me by my bloody name, or I'll—''

Instead of letting her go as she tried to haul back, tugging her own limbs away from him, he slammed her into him, ''You don't set the rules with me, Clarke.''

''Then let me go,'' She tossed and turned in his grip, ''Let me go, let me go, let me—''

''You're acting like a bloody maniac,'' Draco shook his head, slowly releasing his grip on her, and she noticed that change immediately.

If this had been four months ago — he'd pushed her, he'd force her to the ground, and he'd spit at her for even opening her mouth at his presence, but this wasn't like that anymore.

Isla knew that now.

She could leave — easily stride away from him and wish him nothing but hell, but she didn't. She fought him, battled every sentence he spoke — to in some way to stop him from leaving her, and never did she understand why.

''I'm a maniac? You're the one standing outside of my house on Christmas—''

''Stop bringing that up, Clarke. You don't know what you're talking about,'' He nearly crushed his teeth, being just as furious with her as she was with him, ''I suggest you shut the fuck up—''

''How come you're not home with your family? Or with Pansy? Or with that girl?'' Isla threw her arms out in the air, lifting her brows, ''How come you always end up here, where I don't—''

''Because they are fucking dead, Clarke.''

The world suddenly stopped spinning, and the skies poured dust onto both of them.

''What—'' She breathed, her face dropping into pure dubiety, ''Draco, what are you—''

''They are fucking dead. Not here anymore. Gone, Clarke.'' Draco turned around, not looking at her anymore, and it felt like his heart had been ripped out.

''There you have it. I'm fucking messed up. I'm mean and cruel for treating you like I do. I'm a fucking idiot. I know, alright? I am a lost, bloody cause, and I never told anyone, except for Pansy, so — fucking forgive me for having a hard time letting her go.''

More silence. She didn't know what to do.

Isla didn't say much. She simply stalked towards him, keeping herself steady on the ice as she wrapped her arms around his waist. Leaning her forehead against his spine.

She hugged him, and it hit her. She had never held him before, not like this. Never had she held him.

''I'm so sorry....'' She whispered, hugging him tightly from behind. She felt his body as it began to tremble, ''I didn't know... I'm so so sorry, Draco....''

Malfoy rose his chin, trying to stop the falling tears, but he couldn't. He sheeted his own arms over hers, and he let her hold him as he cried quietly. He didn't want to make it obvious.

And there they stood, on the ice, her arms around him as he broke.

Draco always loved Christmas, but he doesn't anymore.

He was alone, and it all made sense to her now.

Malfoy didn't loath her. He was scared to tell her. He was terrified of letting the one person who knew his deepest darkest secret go. Pansy left him, just like everyone else had done.

After minutes, long, well-needed minutes of peace, he shifted around in her arms.

''They were killed,'' He whispered, looking up at the heavens as the thin snowflakes coated his porcelain skin, ''In the war. They were hit by a curse, both of them, and they passed shortly after. I found them on the courtyard.''

Isla felt tears as they shaped in the corner of her eyes. She didn't dare to look at him.

''So yeah...'' He muttered, swallowing the aching pain inside, ''Excuse me for not being very fond of Christmas anymore, Clarke.''

Her pained heart ached in bearing with his as she stayed quiet, only pressing herself closer to him.

''Everyone lost someone in that bloody war, Clarke. You don't need to pity me,'' He tried so hard to sound severe, to not let his emotions out.

''You lost your family, Draco....'' She said, her forehead falling to lean on his chest, being there, just in case he needed her, ''You're allowed to mourn.''

''We all lose each other sooner or later.'' His voice torn, ''I just didn't expect to lose everyone at once.''

''You won't lose me,'' Isla tried to grant him solace, stretching up on her toes to wipe the pearls underneath his eyes away, ''I know you don't believe it, but you'll always have me.''

Silent tears rolled down his drained skin as they stood in the falling snow as cold as they felt to be.

He told her his secret. Perhaps she was safe enough to tell him hers. That she indeed was a part of a bloodline that no one knew her to be. Maybe this was what they needed, she believed. The heartbreak in another only to heal alongside each other.

''Who?'' Isla asked, tenderly, ''If I might ask, who did this to them?''

''The Weasleys.''

"What—"

"Yeah," Draco scoffed out, nonchalantly, almost. As if he'd distanced himself from the name not to cave every time it was brought up, ''I saw things during the battle. There isn't a way that this was someone else. It's the Weasleys. I'm sure of it.''

Isla froze. Her heart stopped beating, and her pulse iced.

''What?'' She clenched her jaws, and she closed her eyes, ''How can you be sure?''

Begging herself for mercy that he wouldn't be speaking the words, she was terrified he would. No one ever told her who took her Fred away from her. Who robbed the dearest person she'd ever known from this world.

No one knew.

''I watched that mother of theirs kill my aunt, so my father killed one of those twins, the taller one, Fred.'' He continued, not noticing that the girl began to move away, ''An eye for an eye and all that, and the next thing I knew—''

Her whole body shook, violently and the verity as she'd known it slowed.

''And the next thing I knew, I found both of my parents, cursed beyond saving on the ground. I couldn't—'' He coughed out, haze steamed around him, ''I couldn't save them, Clarke. I couldn't do a thing, but if I ever get my hands on a bloody Weasley ever again, I won't hesitate to get my vengeance.''

Her heart dropped, her breaths heaved.

She felt as if she died, right there and then. If Isla's world hadn't been shattered to pieces already — it had now.

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