''So...'' Isla muttered, slipping down beside her friend on the bench next to the mass of ruins on the courtyard that still placed there after the war, in honor of their fallen friends and family, ''How's life going?''

She had failed to spend much time with her friend during the week that passed since Theodore left her. Not that she didn't want to see her friends — she did, but she couldn't help herself. She felt like a mess within the coat of her own skin.

Between not knowing how long Theodore would be gone, whether he'd come back at all, to the blond constantly hovering her from a distance to make certain that she wasn't in any trouble.

Isla believed he knew about Theo leaving as well and that it was the main reason why he finally granted her a moment of peace in the upheaval she seemed to be living in.

''Nosey much?'' Leo peered over his shoulder, looking up at her as he sighed out, lowering the book in his hands, ''With what exactly? The girl I can't be with or the chaotic sister?''

Huffing out a weak chuckle, she leaned back against the edge of the bench, dragging her knees up as she folded her arms around her limbs, ''Trying to be funny, yeah?'' She shook her head slightly, ''I don't know, both?''

''Well...'' He muttered, his sight dragged across the courtyard, noticing just how grey everything mirrored to be, colorless in a world that used to be filled with shades, ''About the girl, it's complicated. I love Mila. I always have you know that—''

Feeling as a shy smile climbed her lips at the thought of it. Leo and Mila had been in love for years, and they were meant to give it a try before their lives shattered in the war. Suddenly that wasn't as important anymore, and they put the feelings held for the other aside to heal.

''I know...'' She whispered, dropping her chin to her kneecaps.

''But it's not the same as before... it's more real now, you know? Like it might actually lead somewhere, and that's so scary because we can't. She needs to choose someone that's not me, and I need to live alone,'' He paused, sensing his heart as it dropped to the pit of his stomach, ''I want to enjoy it before it ends, I think... I think I want us to have some good memories together and not just think about that bloody law for a second.''

Isla caught the light rupture in his vocals, and she moved, shoving herself closer to the boy, and her head fell to his shoulder, ''I know, Leo. I know.''

''It's just—'' He sighed, tipping his head to lean against hers, ''It's a lot. We're all adults now, and it's not all childish games anymore. It's real life, and the battle happened, and we just...''

Her heartbeat quickened. Her pulse was stressed because she could feel just what he told her.

It wasn't a game anymore. It wasn't something that would resolve itself — this was what they were meant to do now. To live like this, learn to live after the new laws and rules in place, even if they didn't want to.

Mila and Leo were the gravest examples of this. How right it could feel when it was all mistaken. Having someone they loved before the war, still having them after but not being able to be with them.

Ironic, she thought to herself. That the marriage law was put in place to save the wizarding world yet, it felt as it broke it apart even more.

It hurt her tremendously to think about it, how they'd never be able to have their happy ending. A well-deserved lifetime peace they could never get.

''I don't know. It's hard, you know? Learning to live after this, when all I want is to be with her.''

Leo's head felt heavy upon hers as the biting late autumn wind tugged at her cheeks, and she was once again the one to underdress herself. Not thinking about the temperature as she got clothed this morning, she nestled up to her friend, her body draining him of warmth.

But it felt as if both of them needed it — just a little pause in verity and closeness to each other.

''What does she feel? Do you know?'' She asked, not wishing to pry too much, ''Or perhaps you didn't—''

''She wants to run away,'' He sounded annoyed, scowling, ''Like we're living in some damn fairytale, but we can't do that, can we? I thought she'd realize that from being a Ravenclaw, but I suppose not.''

Isla's lips mangled together not to laugh at how frustrated he was with the girl they both cared so deeply for, ''Well, perhaps that's why she's dreaming of it? Maybe she's so caught up with our reality that she just wants to dream about something else.''

''That's some foolish shit, even coming from you, Isla,'' Leo hissed, taking a deep breath, ''But I wish that I had that — that mind to just imagine something else than all of this.''

He was staring out over the ruins and all the clouded grey holding in front of them.

''We will, Leo,'' Isla tucked her chin against his arm, breathing into the sleeve of his robe, ''We will have so much more than this, I promise. It will be okay.''

He didn't say much more. He simply hummed in response as the quietness and the muffled chatter of students walking in the halls echoed.

''And for the chaotic sister?'' Isla said softly as she tipped her head, looking up at him from below her lashes, ''What do we know about her these days?''

Leo scoffed, shaking his head, ''Well, you'd know if you didn't cuss her out, would you?'' The sarcasm rolled off his tongue in amusement before shifting severely in Isla's lack of laughing, ''She misses you, that's all I know.''

''Then she shouldn't act like a child,'' Her voice trapped in the same seriousness as his, ''She messed up, Leo and I...'' Holding her breath for a moment as she thought about it, ''I don't know if I want someone like that in my life anymore. Life is too short. We have seen that.''

''You're best friends, and yeah, I'm all for her getting a hard time for what she's done, but I'm also worried about you, both of you,'' He let her head sunk into his shoulder completely, ''You used to work past this, I don't know why you just gave up now?''

''I didn't give up,'' She huffed. Her face shifted in a grimace, ''I didn't give up. I'm just tired. It's a lot of fighting between Theo and Malfoy, and I just... I don't know. I don't have time for her games anymore.''

He nodded, leisurely, ''I know, it can be a bit...tiring at times, but she means well. You know that, even if she has hell of a way of showing it.''

Isla chuckled at that, smiling as she held close to him, ''Yeah, I know. I just think it's too much. She's going too far and now, when Theodore—''

Catching herself before she had a possibility to finish that sentence, she screwed her eyes shut, inhaling deeply, ''I don't know. It's just... tiring indeed.''

''Theodore did what?'' Leo asked, calmly, ''I noticed he hasn't been in class lately, did something happen between you two—''

''No,'' Isla hewed him off, stretching her spine as she sat up straight again, ''Nothing happened, he just...''

As she was staying quiet again, Leo scowled at her, frustratingly, ''Isla, you can talk to me, it's okay. I'm not Malfoy, and I'm not Theodore, it's alright.'' He sought to comfort her, and he saw how her sight grounded, troubled with the topic.

''He left,'' She said, bluntly, ''He left, and I don't know if he's coming back, Leo.''

Leo immediately grasped why she was in such a low mood and why she had cut herself short earlier, ''That doesn't sound like him. Why would he—'' He cleared his throat, ''Did he say why?''

''He didn't,'' A shaky sigh escaped her, ''We were helping Professor McGonagall in the Forbidden forest, and out of nowhere he just told me all kinds of things, and then he left, and he's been gone for a week, Leo. I'm worried.''

Nodding as he shoved his book shut altogether, ''Perhaps you should reach out? Write him a letter or go to his house? Talk to his parents, maybe? Does he still live at home—''

It burnt in her chest at that. Knowing that she could never do that. She couldn't reach out to him because he couldn't be with her. He made that clear.

Theodore didn't want to be with her, he didn't want to stand against his parents in the matter of the purity of her blood, and that was it. Nothing she said or did could change his mind.

He even lied to her several times, picking fights and calling her filthy words simply to make her hate him. To fool her into staying clear of him.

In ways — Isla wished he didn't tell her. She pleaded within herself that he didn't utter a word about why he did what he had to and that he'd just left it at her despising him.

It would've been so much easier for her not having to feel this guilt. Feeling as if it was her fault that he left. That she didn't hurt him.

Theo knew all along what she and Malfoy were up to. He didn't judge her. He didn't pin it against her and made her feel at fault. He spent time with her all the same. It didn't matter to the brunet.

Isla wasn't her doings to him, yet he rose a fight with her at the party, and he called her disgusting things at detention, all to keep the act up.

It was once again a clouded mess in her head.

''I can't go to his house, but I'm sure he's there,'' Isla whispered, tilting her head back and looking up at the heavens, ''And the worst part is that I don't even know why I feel like this, why I'm so upset with him leaving.''

Her friend only looked at her. Confusion flickered in his pupils.

''We weren't even together in that way, but I...'' She drew a breath, ''I liked him, Leo. I liked him a lot. He made it fun — he was funny, and there weren't any problems between us. It was just fun, new, fresh — I don't know.''

He hummed, reaching for her hand and tangling their fingers together, ''It's not wrong to feel like that. He was an important person, he made you feel seen and heard, and he's a good person. All of us liked him a lot. That day at the lake, over a month ago was fun and all and I know—''

Feeling as his thumb stroked circles upon the back of her hand, she dropped her sight to watch it, and she missed the feeling of Theo kissing her knuckles.

''I know he liked you, Isla. It doesn't matter how much time or not you spend with a person for that. If there's a connection — there's a connection, and you guys had that. Don't feel weird about it. It's normal.''

He was speaking from his own experiences now, Isla could tell.

''I mean— it's been almost two months, and you've been back and forth with each other, of course, there are feelings involved.''

Isla knew that what he was saying was right. She and Theodore indeed had a bond between them. She felt safe with him. For months they'd earned their way closer, and he was her first time — it was human of her to care for him in the ways she did.

''I know, it's just—'' Her mouth twisted, uncertain how to form the words, ''It's hard, feeling something for someone, and it's hard being this confused, Leo. One day I like Theodore a lot, and we have a great time, and the next I can't stand him, and all I want to do is—''

''Be with Malfoy instead?''

Freezing in her talking, her eyes snapped to his, growing wide at what he'd said, ''I don't—''

''Don't lie, Isla...'' He chuckled, dryly, dragging his hand out of hers, ''I might be slow at times, but I can see that he's growing on you.''

''He doesn't!'' She tried to defend herself, her shoulders tensing, ''We spent some time together, yes, but Draco Malfoy is no one I'd ever—''

''Isla...'' Leo snickered, amused with how offended she got by the comment he'd made, ''It's alright, there's a choice to be made, and you have to explore your options. Nothing is wrong with that—''

He wished to say something else — something more, but he didn't quite dare to. She could see that intense stare he carried, ''What?'' She blurted out nervously.

She was scared to find out more of Malfoy's doings, ''What? Did he do something, Leo? If he did, I want you to tell me—''

''I'm—'' He exhaled, still indecisive, ''I'm just scared that you'll fall for the both of them and then...''

Turning quiet, not a single sound echoed between them apart from the birds chirping and the chattering students from afar.

''And then...'' Isla whispered, somewhere knowing that it was possible. That she — if she wasn't cautious enough, could get herself trapped between them.

''But that's not happening, right?'' He restlessly laughed, scratching his head at the tension, ''I mean, you won't—''

''No,'' Isla huffed a sarcastic chuckle, ''Of course not...''

They sat there, silent next to the other for moments before a loud screech caught their attention, and an owl lowered over her head, dropping a letter between them.

Staring at each other, startingly, Isla reached for the envelope.

''Who is it?'' Leo asked, ''Is it, Theodore—''

''For Gods—'' Isla rolled her eyes, annoyed with the obsession Leo seemed to have with the boy, ''It's my mother, Leo, but thank you.''

He snickered, shaking his head playfully as he stretched his legs out, making a high-pitched noise, ''Well, I should get going, wouldn't want Mila to wait for me now, would I?'' He jeered, ''Don't make any stupid decisions now, stick to one of them and keep yourself out of trouble.''

''I will,'' Isla smirked, looking after him as he stood tall in front of her, ''Not that I'd want to be with someone like Malfoy anyway. Thank you for the concern, but it's not needed—''

Her words faded slowly at the way Leo's face fell.

Spinning around in her seat, she watched the blond as he was marching away from them, headed towards the school. ''Damn it,'' She gasped, gripping the letter, and without notice — Isla rushed after him.

''So much for not needed concern!'' Leo shouted after her, but she plainly ignored it.

''Malfoy—'' She yelled in a whisper, not wishing to cause a scene, ''Malfoy, don't—''

As the short-tempered boy he lived to be, he didn't wait long until he flung around, storming towards her instead, his hair tousled and his skin pale, ''Yeah? Someone like me?'' He spat, closing in on her as she faltered in her steps, out of breath from running after him.

The panic building up inside her, ''I didn't mean—'' She heaved, her hands dropping to her sides, ''I didn't know—''

''You can cuss me out for calling you a whore with my fingers inside you, and that's fucking wrong of me — but you're allowed to walk around and tell people you can't be with someone like me?'' His tone throaty, ''You're a fucking hypocrite, Clarke. I hope you fucking know that.''

Draco was aiming to storm off again, but he quickly halted, turning to face the shocked girl.

''And you know what? I didn't fucking do anything to you without you wanting it, fucking begging me for it so you can take your 'someone like Malfoy' shit and—'' Draco shook his head, dragging his thumb over his bottom lip.

''And what?'' Isla raised her voice, sounding offended and throwing her arms out in the air, ''What am I supposed to do with that? Of course, I wanted what you did to me, what we did, I never said I didn't?''

''Fucking sounds like you did,'' Malfoy scoffed, lifting a brow as he glared at her, ''What is that even supposed to mean, Clarke? Someone like me? What in the bloody hell did I ever do to you—''

''You left me in the bathroom last week, Malfoy!'' The letter falling to the ground as she tugged at the roots of her hair, in the lack of sanity at his delusional thoughts, ''After you dragged me in there, and told me never to speak about it with anyone?''

''So?''

''So?!'' Isla felt as if she'd lose it, right there and then, ''So — what? You do things with me, Malfoy, and then you act like I don't exist! You kissed me in the corridor two weeks ago, and then I wasn't important until you needed me to get you off—''

Draco strode up to her, gripping her jaw tightly yet not as forcefully as it used to be. His hand gently upon her, ''Don't fucking say that, Clarke. Don't you dare say that I'm using you again.'' He stood so close now, feeling his breaths on her lips, ''Don't fucking say it, ever again.''

Isla looked right at him, noticing the guilt in his eyes. She didn't even try to pry him off her, ''Then what are you doing?'' She breathed out, her voice thin, not accusing him anymore. This was her, honestly wanting an answer.

''What are you doing with me if you're not using me for your own sake?''

With a thick swallow, his eyes flickered, blinking quickly.

It calmed around them. The wind caused shivers to trail down her spine.

''Yes, I said I couldn't be with someone like you, but don't you dare deny that it's what you're thinking too. You could never be with me, Malfoy, both of us know that.'' She whispered now, somewhere in all that anger she had for Draco — this hurt her.

His face dropped. The stoned, icing look he held when it came to her faded into a numb one. Strangely, this caused his chest to tighten and his veins to ache.

Still holding her sight in his, ''So if you're not using me, what are you doing?''

Isla waited for moments for him to speak and, for once, tell her something she needed to hear, but he didn't.

He wanted to.

He wanted to say something, not to mess that tiny connection they had — up, but he couldn't.

Malfoy didn't know what to say, how to form the words she needed to hear.

He didn't know if he should.

Huffing out softly, she took a step back, and only that loss of her touch as his hand dropped from her jaw felt sickly within him.

Malfoy didn't want to hurt her, but perhaps it would be better this way.

He could tell she expected more of him, more than he would ever be able to give her. He knew that.

Forcing a curl upon her lips, the most falsified smile he'd ever seen, she stared at the ground.

''Yeah...'' She mumbled, silently, yet pain mirrored through that quiet sigh escaping her, ''That's what I thought.''

Not speaking another word and not sparing him so much as a glare, Isla walked away, leaving the blond as he drowned in guilt behind.

_____