Either, Ethel's a slave driver or Bo is a liar.

A couple of extra duties turns out to be a lot more than the few hours of extra weeding I'd imagined.

So far, I've cleaned several large communal rooms, the outdoor shower blocks and I've made so many trips to the nearest river to collect barrels of water, I think my feet are going to drop off. They may have, already.

Right now, I'm undertaking my final, yet definitely the hardest, duty: evening meal prep.

I look between the object in my hand, I've been told it's a peeler, and the tower of potatoes in front of me that I'm meant to peel and cut in less than thirty minutes. I'll be lucky if I get it done in a week.

Exhaling slowly, I glance at Haiden who is busily cutting carrots. The ferociously tapping knife slices through the carrots making me wince. I wait for her to cut her fingers off. She doesn't. The blade comes pretty close to slicing a tip off on several occasions.

'Haiden!' I hiss.

Haiden stops mid slice and turns to face me. 'What's up?' Her eyes widen when she sees the empty surface in front of me. 'Kit, you need to start or we'll be running late and Ethel gets really irritated when mealtime runs late. I mean, she won't shout or anything but she does this thing when she looks at you and makes you feel guilty and bad without raising her voice. I'd prefer she shouted than did the face-'

'Haiden,' I interrupt. 'Can you come here please?'

Haiden lays down the knife and walks over. Her mouth opens. Before she can start talking, I blurt out, 'I don't know how to peel potatoes or cut them.'

Haiden places her hands on her hip and for the first time since I've met her, she looks lost for words. I imagine this is a rare occurrence.

I shuffle uncomfortably and place the peeler on the counter in front of me. 'Only certain people in my settlement were allowed to cook so I've never learnt.'

Haiden smiles. 'I'll teach you. It's easy once you know-how. Unfortunately, you'll be super slow but over time you'll get quicker. Don't rush, especially when cutting. You cut yourself with a knife and it will hurt for ages, and they'll be blood everywhere, and no one wants blood in their food. Actually, the older lot probably won't mind, it might remind them of meat. I wonder if human blood and the animals they ate taste the same-

'Haiden, the potatoes,' I interrupt.

'Oh yeah, potatoes. Watch me first then you can take over in a bit.' Haiden takes a potato from the pile and picks up the peeler. I carefully watch her peel it and slice it. 'How are you feeling? I'm really tired from all the extra duties. You must be knackered. I'm sorry I didn't join you and Bo earlier, when water collecting, but Bo asked me to get the bikes and trailers organised for tomorrow, then Roman wanted to show me what he's working on with Cas and Esme. Also, Zach was there helping.'

'Oh, yeah?' I say looking up. I missed lunch today because of my extra duties so haven't seen Zach since this morning.

I've gone from spending every moment with him to not spending enough.

'Yeah, they're trying to fix up electrical items or something. I wasn't really listening, I was too busy drooling over Roman, but a few things filtered through which made me glad my focus is on plants. I mean, I'm sure they find whatever they're doing interesting and everything but I prefer plants with cool medicinal properties or hallucinogenic effects.' Haiden winks.

'Don't let Ethel hear you say that,' Bo says, walking behind us.

'I'm only joking, Bo.' Haiden laughs then mouths at me. 'No, I'm not.'

I chuckle as Haiden places the peeler and potato down. 'You ok to continue? I better get back to the carrots. Don't want to upset Ethel or you, Bo.' She looks over at Bo. 'Wouldn't want you feeding back to Ethel that I'm not pulling my weight.'

'I wouldn't do that, Haiden.' Bo frowns.

'I know, I was just teasing.' Haiden starts to slice the carrots. 'There's no shame in being her favourite, Bo. Everyone is someone's favourite. Your Ethel's, I'm Roman's and Kit is Zach's. He was asking about you, Kit. I told him we'd be given extra duties which is why you missed lunch but you'll be pleased to know it's movie night tonight. You two can snuggle up with each other like the two love birds that you are. I wish I had someone to snuggle. Or rather, I wish I could snuggle a specific someone.'

'Movie night?' I ask picking up the peeler and a potato.

'Yeah, they do it once a week. First movie they show is for the little ones then they'll all get taken to bed. The next two are for older ones. I love romance and comedy. What's your favourite?'

I'd need to watch some movies first to know. 'I don't know.' I shrug.

'Bo here only watches movies with happy endings. He finds out what films they're going to play, and if it's depressing or sad he volunteers to do patrol.'

'How do you know that?' Bo stiffens.

'I may like to talk but I'm still observant, Bo. First movie night you were allowed to stay and watch the adult film they played something with loads of death, and you cried. It was kind of cute how you tried to hide it, but I saw the tears and ever since you avoid the nights with sad or depressing movies. Don't worry, no else has noticed. Seeing as you're always volunteering to do extra patrol, no notices you do it regularly when it's film night.' Haiden continues to slice carrots and her prepped pile is quickly growing. I'm still peeling my first potato or rather hacking large dents into it.

Turns out, I'm not always great at using my hands.

Bo shakes his head wearily and steps next to me. Peering down at my attempt at peeling, he doesn't say anything while I continue to attack the potato in my hand.

'Bo, help her. She hasn't peeled, cut, cooked or done any meal prep before and, at the rate she's going, we'll have no potatoes to add to the pot but probably a few fingers.' Haiden laughs.

'I'm not that bad,' I retort.

'You're bad Kit, but it's alright. I still love you and so does Bo. Bo loves everyone, even though he never expresses his emotions. I mean, most think he's emotionally stunted but really-'

'I'll help you, Kit,' Bo interrupts, shaking his head wearily. He retrieves a peeler from a draw, stands next to me, positioning himself so there is enough space so we won't touch me, and he starts to peel the potatoes. 'Did you not have to cook where you were from?'

'No. Specific people were in charge of meals. I did mainly fieldwork and when I finished school, I was going to do carpentry.'

'You went to school?' Haiden swivels round and her eyes narrow.

'Yes,' I say slowly.

'An actual school? With classrooms and teachers and boards and textbooks and school things?'

'We had most of that.'

'You are so lucky. I would love to go to school. I mean, they do some basic lessons here but it's not like a proper school. What subjects did you do? Did you do music? I would love to learn an instrument. What about history or geography? What about sex education? Was it really awkward?'

I choke slightly and Bo shakes his head. Haiden waves around the knife in her hand crazily and approaches me.

Normal Haiden is full-on. Excited Haiden is slightly scary.

'I can't believe, I didn't know you'd been to school. I need to know all the details. Is it like in the movies? Did you have big sporting events where everyone goes to and cheers? Did you have cheerleaders? Prom? Prom King and Queen?' Haiden asks.

I haven't read many books about teenagers in schools. On our journey after crossing the wall, we always avoided schools. Both of us didn't need to say it out loud for us to acknowledge our last visit to a school had mentally scarred us meaning we never wanted to venture into another one.

'Haiden, stop waving that knife near my face and get back to your carrots. You won't be Roman's favourite if the meal is late because you've been talking too much and distracting everyone,' Bo says.

'It will take more than a late meal for me to no longer be Roman's favourite and you know it, Bo.' Haiden laughs and returns to her counter. 'Kit, this is not the end of this conversation. You will tell me everything. And I mean everything.'

I glance at Bo, to send him a look of gratitude, but he's focussed on peeling the potatoes. We don't speak for the remaining time. Bo starts chopping while I continue to peel and I wonder what Zach's doing. Is he missing his settlement? Does he feel confused like I do?

I like Haiden and Bo but at the same time, I feel like I'm lying to them or deceiving them in some way. I swallow the ball of guilt and wonder if part of my reason for wanting to leave is so I can avoid admitting what happened, so I can avoid discussing what occurred when I was kept captive in the Techie settlement, both with these people and with Zach.

Me and Zach haven't spoken about my time as a test subject in the Techie settlement. We haven't spoken about his mum or the days I waited for him in the town. For nine days, I hid in the house we took the bicycles from. As the days went past, I wondered if he'd ever come. A few Techies searched the streets and the houses. I hid under a bed of decomposing corpses when they searched the house I was hiding in.

During those nine days, every doubt and worst-case scenario went through my head. I was on the verge of giving up so when Zach finally appeared, I was so relieved, I hadn't wanted to speak about all the bad. Ever since, we've both continued to avoid mentioning certain topics, such as his mum or what happened during my imprisonment at the Techie settlement. 

'Are you ok, Kit?' Bo asks.

I nod vigorously, hoping to rid myself of the heavy thoughts plaguing my mind. 'Yes.'

'Let's get all this cooked, and serve the people,' Haiden says. 'Did you have a canteen at your school? Did fights ever break out or food fights? Did you get people sitting in groups based on how they dress or think? What group did you belong to?'

'The awkward group.' It's the first truly honest thing I've said so far.

Haiden laughs. 'More like, the quiet yet cool group. You and Zach must have been the school power couple. How did you start talking? Where did he ask you out? How did he ask you out?'

'Haiden stop prying,' Bo snaps. Haiden stiffens at his abruptness while I simultaneously flinch.

'Sorry. I'm just so excited. Kit's done all this exciting stuff. I mean she went to school and ventured out into the unknown.' Haiden turns to me. 'You've had all these amazing experiences. I feel so boring. What have I got to show for my sixteen slash seventeen years of life here?'

'You've got a family who care about you. They may not be blood but, in a way, that makes them more special. They chose to support you and care for you even though they didn't have to out of a sense of loyalty. Appreciate them, because they're worth more and mean more than any exciting experience.'

'Ahhh! Kit, you're making me feel guilty now. I'm going to go tell Roman I love him-'

I frown. 'That's not what I meant...'

'Don't worry, she tells him all the time.' Bo shakes his head.

'I haven't for a while. I need to tell him. You never know what could happen. I don't want to have any regrets. I'll be back in a bit.' Haiden darts out the room. I stare after Haiden and envy her openness. I wish I could tell Zach I love him with such ease.

Stifling a yawn, I place the last of the cleaned plates in a cupboard and really hope there is no more cooking, serving or cleaning to be done. Meal duty is exhausting. Closing the cupboard door, I stiffen when I sense somebody behind me. Spinning around, I relax when I see Zach. I jump forward, wrap my arms around him tightly and kiss him on the lips.

Zach laughs. 'I've missed you too.'

'We're not finished yet,' Bo says loudly.

'Come on, Bo. We're nearly finished, and I did miss some of my duty to tell Roman I love him. I'm sure we can allow a little private time for the last remaining school power couple in existence.' Haiden grins whilst drying a pot. Bo's frown doesn't seem to agree.

'I'll stay,' I say.

'I can help,' Zach adds.

'No, you will both go.' Haiden waves her hands, ushering me and Zach towards the door. Her fingers brush against me and I stiffen but don't jerk away. It's an improvement.

Haiden grins. 'Off you go. The kids' movie will have already started so you've got some time before the next one starts. Go make out under the bleachers, or whatever it is that school power couples do.'

Zach looks confused and I laugh, even though I have no idea what she's talking about. 'Thanks, Haiden.'

Zach lowers his mouth to my ear. 'Are you excited about watching your first movie?'

Haiden spins around, her eyes wide with surprise. 'First movie? You've never seen a movie before? Never ever?'

'No.' I send Zach a look of annoyance.

He shrugs and mouths the word. 'Sorry.'

'Why?' Haiden asks.

Because I lived in a settlement who rejected technology and touch. Even though I was an altered embryo created by technology and I never needed to avoid touch because I'm resistant to Virulence.

'Kit's parents were really family orientated so they preferred to play card and board games. She was one of the lucky ones, who's parents wanted to spend time with their kids.' Zach squeezes my shoulder but his face is unreadable.

'Both of your parents are alive?' Bo ask.

'I'm not their biological daughter not that it mattered. I couldn't have asked for better parents,' I say.

'What were they like, when you started dating? Did they threaten you, Zach, or did they take you in with open arms? Must be scary meeting the parents,' Haiden says.

'Zach never met my parents, but they would have liked him a lot if they had.' I smile.

Zach's arm drops from my shoulder and he tucks his hands into his pockets. 'Does anyone know what movies they're playing tonight?'

'Depressing or sad ones. Bo's on patrol,' Haiden says, looking at Bo knowingly.

'One's a Horror, actually. I don't like Horrors either,' Bo says flatly.

'Me neither. I'm going to end up having nightmares tonight, again.' Haiden sighs. 'Anyway, we better get on, you two go. Enjoy some quality time. Save me a spot if you can. You two would have definitely won prom king and queen! You're cute, kind and perfect together. You're such a power couple. Go Zit or Kach!' Haiden shakes her head. 'I'll work on finding a good couple name.'

Zach looks even more confused as I interlock my hand with his and tug him out of the kitchen before Haiden starts another conversation.

We enter the hallway and Zach pulls me closer. 'What was Haiden talking about?'

'Haiden found out we went to a school and now seems to think we are a power couple.'

Zach laughs. 'Ok, I get the references now.'

'I'm glad one of us does.'

'When you watch movies based on high school, you will too.'

'Yeah, maybe,' I say quietly.

Zach stops and makes me turn to face him. 'What's the matter?'

'It's been a busy day. Ethel gave us extra duties, so we don't have any for tomorrow and can go into the town straight after breakfast. Do you think you can come with us?'

'I asked but Roman wants me helping him. Sorry,' Zach says.

'It's ok.' It's not.

'If you're tired we can forget the movie and go to bed early?'

'I haven't seen you all day so I'm not going to bed early, especially as Ethel told me I must sleep in the girls' room. Can we forget the movie tonight? I want to show you something else you'll hopefully like.'

'Sounds good.'

Zach's slings his arm over my shoulder. I wrap my arm around his waist and guide him along the hallway. 'Haiden said you were working with Roman today. How was it?'

'Interesting. All the electrics in this house have been connected to several renewable electrical generators built by residents. It's pretty amazing what they've done considering none of them have any prior knowledge. Roman said it took years for them to get it working,' Zach sighs. 'He was asking about you and me, how we met and whether we were going to stay. He seemed to accept my vague answers.'

'I feel guilty every time I let Haiden make an assumption about us and where we've come from.' I steer us around a corner.

'You don't need to feel guilty about protecting yourself,' Zach says.

'Maybe.' I open a door leading into a dark room which hopefully means no one is here. I flick a switch and light illuminates four walls crammed full of books.

Closing the door behind us, Zach turns to face me. 'Let me guess, you've found more exciting literature for us to read.'

'No, I haven't had a chance to look yet.' I grin and pull him towards a box positioned on a table on the side of the room. 'I found the next best thing, something that made me think of you. It's a record player- it plays music.'

Zach's face lights up. He's missed music. He moves to a box of records next to the record player and rifles through them rapidly. 'I haven't heard of any of these artists but I've missed music so much, I'd listen to anything.'

Zach selects a record but hesitates with uncertainty. I take the circular disc from his hand and place it on the player like Haiden showed me. Flicking a switch, an arm moves and lands onto the record. A crackle sounds and a strange beat resonates through the air followed by a deep rough voice.

'I'm impressed.' Zach grins

'I asked Haiden to show me. However, I didn't listen to anything. I wanted to wait for you.' Embarrassed I admitted that out loud, I lower my eyes to the record cover in his hand. 'What did you choose in the end?'

'Someone called Touissant McCall.' Zach drops the cover on the table. He takes both of my arms and rests them on his shoulders. Placing his hands around my waist, he starts to shuffle his feet from side to side.

'What are you doing?' I ask.

'We're dancing.'

'I can't dance.'

'Me neither, so we'll both be amazing because neither of us know any better.'

I laugh. 'It worries me that I understand your logic.'

Zach chuckles and pulls me closer. Our bodies sway to the slow deep music, the rough voice rolls over my skin causing a wave of goosebumps. I exhale slowly and rest my head on Zach's chest.

'This song is sad,' I say.

'I was aiming for romantic. The title on the cover was misleading.' Zach chuckles. 'I'm obviously losing my touch.'

'No, you're definitely not losing your touch,' I murmur into his top. My hands tighten around his neck as we continue to sway.

Zach presses the side of his head against mine. We sway from side to side, and I bury my head into his neck, savouring the smell and feel of him. In moments like this, the past horrors and heavy sorrow which cling to me fade into the background, leaving a strong sense of thankfulness for having Zach and optimism about our future.  

'The last time I saw anyone dance was when I was fourteen. Rubel watched a movie with a wild party and he got it in his head if he organised a party at his apartment, he'd get the girl he liked to kiss him,' Zach says quietly.

'Did he?'

'No. He tried. She turned him down, kissed someone else and left early.'

'Was there a girl you were trying to kiss?'

'No.'

'Why not? I know you said you didn't kiss other girls like we do, but there must have been girls you were interested in.'

'Rubel was adamant we follow Bro Code which basically meant, I can't make a move on anyone Rubel is interested in, and he's interested in everyone.' Zach shrugs. 'I was never interested in anyone enough to make a fuss.'

'Were you secretly waiting till the perfect one came along?' I tease.

Zach chuckles. 'Something like that.'

I swallow the words I love you. 'What did you do at the party?'

'I was put in charge of serving the drinks or should I say cups of water. Rubel had promised everyone alcohol but obviously couldn't get any. The only people who can access alcohol are people who are on the expedition team, and they aren't going to give it to a bunch of fourteen-year-olds.'

'That's probably a good thing. Vomiting teenagers would have broken all the electrical equipment around you.'

Zach laughs and leans back to look at me. 'Why would we be vomiting?'

'That's what happens when you drink too much alcohol.'

'Really?'

'That's what happened to me and Mattan anyway.'

'You used to get drunk with your brother?' Zach arches his eyebrow.

'Only once. When Dab was prepping for the collapse of society, he apparently thought whiskey was just as important as seeds and preserved food. He handed the seeds to the Naturalist leaders and kept the whiskey to himself. Him and Daa always had a glass, or two, on their birthdays. When Mattan turned seventeen, he was given his own bottle which he had one drink from and was then meant to keep for the future. But when my parents went to bed, Mattan and me decided to reopen the bottle and ended up drinking two-thirds of it.'

'Did your parents find out?'

'We woke them with our laughing. They walked in and found me trying to do a handstand on Mattan's shoulders.' The happy memory tugs at my insides. Blinking the tears back of loss, I swallow the lump in my throat. 'We started throwing up an hour later. It was really bad. Once we'd sobered up, my parents gave us a lecture on alcohol abuse and banned us from going to The Rec for two weeks, which wasn't exactly a punishment as we only went there on the weekends. My parents were always soft on us, even when we were kids. It was a topic of controversy among the residents, in particular the Naturalist Leaders.'

'Why?'

I frown as a rush of unwanted memories, I thought had been buried in the recesses of mind, return. 'Many of the leaders believed in physical punishments whereas my parents didn't. Obviously, they couldn't force my parents to implement it at home but it became an issue when we started to attend the lessons held at the Naturalist settlement. The school our settlements shared didn't exist at that point. One of the Naturalist Leaders had volunteered to teach classes to the children at our settlement, it was only a few hours a day. My brother refused to go until I was deemed mature enough. The day my parents decided I could go, we were so excited but that quickly faded. A few days after starting, I came home with purple marks on my fingers.'

'The teacher hit you?' Zach stops swaying us, and his grip tightens on my waist.

'No. He couldn't touch us or use objects, it went against the rules. Instead, he'd made me bite the ends of my fingers repeatedly for thirty minutes.' My fingers tingle slightly at the thought.

'What?'

'It was one of his punishments. The teacher believed not only in teaching basic maths and English but also in testing and reinforcing the Naturalist rules. He would ask students to pick up other people's items and if you did it, you'd get punished. He'd punish you if he thought you were standing too close to people. He'd punish you if he thought you were thinking about touching someone. Basically, he would find any reason to punish you. He accused me of thinking about making physical contact with someone, therefore, I had to get punished. Mattan told my parents what happened, and they pulled us out from the school. I was lucky, if he thought you weren't biting your fingers hard enough he'd change the punishment. I heard his other punishments were a lot worse. Daa informed all the parents what had been happening. It caused a division, most believed it was necessary and others thought it was a step too far.'

'What happened to him?'

'The other Council Leaders allowed him to continue teaching until one of his students killed two families. He'd been teaching the students that anyone who touches outside of the allowed family members would automatically get Virulence and the only way to destroy Virulence is to burn the contaminated. The student's neighbour was having an affair, the student saw them touch and, instead of reporting it to the Naturalist Leaders, set the two people's cabins on fire. Daa used the tragedy as an example of what a poor education can lead to and demanded an appropriate school building with properly educated teachers on various subjects, especially Virulence, which ultimately meant a Techie teacher. He also said Techie students should be given lessons on the uses and benefits of the plants Naturalists grow. However, as Naturalists and Techies aren't allowed to venture into each others' settlements he suggested a neutral building should be built. He set up meetings with leaders of both settlements and eventually succeeded in convincing them, but it led to a lot of conflict with members within the settlement.' I exhale slowly.

Talking about my parents is a harsh reminder of how ungrateful I was. They always supported me and Mattan, always fought for a better future for us. I wish I could go back and tell them how thankful I am, how much I love them. 'Me and Mattan were lucky, my parents took us out of school immediately when they found out what the teacher was doing whereas other parents didn't. A lot of my friends were subjected to the punishments a lot longer and I know some families still advocate physical punishment to prevent the desire for contact.'

Zach looks a little stunned. I loosen my hold on him and step back. 'I'm talking too much.'

'You can talk as much as you like. You haven't talked about your family since...' he falters over the ending.

Since I was exiled? Kidnapped? Nearly killed? Or since his mother attempted to kill him and I attempted to kill her? All those endings act as a reminder that we can never return.

'Sometimes, when I think about them it hurts too much and other times I want to talk about them so much I'm worried I'll never stop,' I whisper. I also don't want to remind him of his mum, to remind him of what he didn't have.

Zach's fingers hook into the waistband of my trousers, and he pulls me back towards him. His lips brush against mine. 'Well, I'm here for when you want to talk about them so much you'll never stop.'

My breath hitches; the worlds I love you are on the tip of my tongue. 'I'm here if you ever want to talk about anything too.'

Zach gives me a strained smile and rests his forehead on mine. 'You were wrong early when you said your parents would like me a lot. They hate me.'

I shake my head but before I can object further, he adds, 'I met them. I came to your room like we arranged and you weren't there. I spoke to them. Actually, they shouted at me while I listened. They blamed me for your exile and they're right too. If-'

'If what?' I place my hands on his cheeks and force him to look at me. 'Do you remember the other day, when we were swinging on that large round swing?'

Zach's brow creases in confusion. 'Yes.'

'You asked where I thought we'd be if I'd never been exiled, and I said I didn't know. I lied. I do know. I know, no matter what, we would have still ended up leaving the settlement. Whether it be now or in a few months or even a couple of years. It's the only way we could have worked, and as much as I miss my family and as much as I wish things could be different, I don't regret what happened between us.'

Our bodies press together, our mouths fit perfectly and I can't imagine a different outcome that didn't involve us being together. Losing myself in the intensity he ignites within me is scary yet amazing. Our hands and mouths trail patterns of hot desire over one another, and I enjoy falling more deeply into the bliss of loving Zach. 

In moments like this, part of me thinks I don't need to say the words I love you out loud because Zach already knows.

Author's note

Sorry, it's so long! I got carried away.