I still feel horrible over what I've done. Even though Jungkook was more calm now, I was still able to sense some tension in between us the whole drive to his house. I think he's still trying to process the fact that I kissed someone else, and I don't blame him. The sensation I had when I found out about what happened with Amy was horrible; I wasn't able to get rid of the feeling for a few days. That was different of course, because I hadn't slept with Yoongi... but he also hasn't done anything with anyone else during our relationship.

Relationship.

It's a strange word. Yes, I was in a relationship with Taehyung, but deep inside I knew it wasn't real. It was kind of like a friendship and not a relationship. We told each other our problems, we went everywhere together and we supported each other; but I do that with Hyerin too. There was something missing in that relationship, something that I have with Jungkook.

He has shown me that he wants me, more than once, and now he's told me that he loves me. Everything was going by fast, maybe too fast. What we had has gotten out of my reach, it's gotten to something we can't control. The way he makes me feel... like if I have no control over myself, was scary. I was scared of doing something stupid and losing him, like what happened with Yoongi.

But at the same time, I was scared of the distance between us. I feel like if I know him, like when an emotion crosses his face, I know immediately what he's feeling, but... I also knew that there were certain topics that separated us. Like his dead mother, his missing father, how he was raised as an abandoned and anguished child... If it wasn't for Jimin, the love and affection in his life would've been very dull.

When we enter his apartment, the smell of Jungkook cologne immediately fills my nose. I quickly get my phone and text Hyerin, telling her that I'll be staying at Jungkook's place, and to cover for me. I received a response within thirty seconds. An eggplant emoji, followed by a perverted face, a tongue and water droplets. I smiled and left my phone over the counter.

"You want something to drink?" He asks politely, and I smile, nodding. "Okay, I'll be right back."

He walks into the kitchen, and I walk freely to his bedroom, sitting on the bed. I don't know what to do. I lower my gaze to the floor and I sigh.

A devilish idea comes to my mind. The crazy idea of surprising him crosses my thoughts and I bite my lip.

I take off my shoes, my top and the rest of my clothes. I stare at my black undergarments and curse at myself for not wearing something nicer.

I sit on the bed again, feeling impatient. I hear his footsteps walking towards me and I start to feel nervous. When he enters the room, he starts to open his mouth to say something, but it closes at soon as he sees me.

I smile nervously. His presence makes me shiver, it makes something inside me ignite. His eyes go over the extension of my body, semi-naked, from top to bottom.

He gets closer to me with caution, slowly, like if he was trying to preserve what he was seeing in his memory. He stands over me and places both of his arms on the sides of my head so that I'm trapped under him and he's leaning over me. His eyes intimidate me, they have since the very first moment. The attraction is inevitable, and it generated a voracious desire. I wanted him on top of me. I wanted him to touch me.

Jungkook just stares at me, and that takes me out of balance. He seems to notice my nervousness, so he puts one of his hands on my thigh, just to softly caress it. I get goosebumps and my breath cuts off.

Delicately, with an unbothered gesture, he lowers his hand down to my knee, making my legs move apart.

"Why are you doing this to me?" He asks in almost a whisper. "You're killing me, Areum..."

I bite my lip.

"Please..."

"What do you want?" His hand traces up my thigh and stops right next to the spot that's urging for him. "Tell me."

"Touch me," I beg with desperation. "Please."

I shouldn't have asked twice, because his hands reach behind me to undo my bra. He immediately cups one of my breasts, kneading and squeezing it.

Then, Jungkook kneels in front of me between my legs and takes off his shirt. I help him by undoing his belt, until he's completely naked in front of me.

He leans forward and kisses me with passion. His tongue is wrapped around mine, and I savor him. He separates himself from me and looks at me with tenderness.

"I don't want to do anything that you don't want to," He says, moving a strand of hair away from my face.

"Jungkook..."

"What?"

"Make love to me."

My statement was more like a plead, if that's what you call it. I needed him.

He kisses my neck, places little licks and bites on my collarbone and my jaw, taking me to another dimension.

His takes take hold of my underwear, and it takes everything I have to not scream of anticipation.

He looks at me and proceeds to take them off while he kisses me; a tender kiss, trying to express all the feelings he has for me.

He touches me where I'm most sensitive, and my back arches to get more pleasure. I was completely lost in his touch, in his strong arms. I was vulnerable, completely in his mercy.

The sound of a package ripping makes me open my eyes again. Jungkook slips the condom on quickly without wasting any time. His weight is being supported by his arms placed on my sides, but either way, I can still feel the heat that emanates from his body.

He kisses me slowly, cautiously, like if in any moment I was going to collapse. And that's how it was; I was actually about to collapse from each of his movements. Of his desire towards me.

His member slid over my entrance, sending an electric wave across my whole body and soul. I shivered under his touch when I felt him enter me.

His lips find my ear, biting it slightly.

"I love you, Areum."

There, in that instant, with his words, I knew I didn't have to worry about anything. I was in love, like I've never been before. My hands, that were squeezing the sheets with force, go up to his face that are looking at me with lust, and I love seeing them like that. A mix of love and desire. I bring him down to my mouth and I kiss him.

My muscles tense. Everything has turned into the sensation of him, and the feeling of him inside me.

His thrusts begin to increase, and so did the pleasure. My fingers dig into his back and my legs wrap around his waist. I can feel his muscles straining against me; he's trying to control himself. I look at his features: his frowned gesture and the pleasure on his face; he has his eyes slightly closed and letting out grutal sounds with every thrust.

We were a mix of sensations and sounds, a combination of breaths and moans. A knot of caresses, licks, kisses and bites. A ball of pleasure that's about of explode.

My back arches when we both reach our orgasms together, giving each other the pleasure that we both caused. Freeing that happiness, fear and frustration in our moans. The ecstasy hit me so hard that the only thing that came out of my mouth was the chanting of his name over and over again. It was like if my brain was programmed to say his name.

I looked at him cautiously, not knowing what to do next, and also to calm down my racing heart that was about to come out of my chest.

"How are you feeling?" He asks, sitting down next to me and covering my body with the sheets.

I nod.

"I'm okay... very good actually,"

He kisses me softly and lays down next to me, wrapping an arm around my back and pulling me back against him. I lean my cheek against his chest, and my finger starts to trace the ink there.

His hands caress my back, making my skin shiver. I close my eyes and I begin to fall asleep completely. His caresses and his breathing are like a lullaby, and before I know it, I fall into the abyss of sleep.

_

a/n: ...

i turned 18 so now i can write smut officially HAHAHAHAHAHA 👹

when i don't think jk can get any hotter, he just does, like the vogue and GQ photos??? UHHH

they can all look at me for a millisecond and i would disintegrate im not even lying.