Request by trappaxnunu
TW: emotionally abusive relationship.

San curled up against the end of the sofa, watching a nostalgic show from his childhood. A thin blanket lay over him, and he caught himself slowly dozing asleep.

His boyfriend wasn't home. But San didn't want to ask. He was afraid to start an argument with effects that would last the rest of tonight. He didn't like to be disturbed.

The couple had been together for the past three years. And in those three years, San undoubtedly felt the most happiness he ever felt.

At first.

Their first year together was senior year in high school. San's friends envied his relationship because of how adorable they wore. Inseparable, powerful, and loving. San enjoyed having his boyfriend's support at almost every hour of the day.

And that was probably the reason he accepted the offer to move in with him. After a year of dating, now post-high school, San moved in with his boyfriend to a small apartment that was just enough for them.

From there, it went downhill.

San lost contact with most of his closest friends. He gave up studying for college after his boyfriend never kept up on his promise to buy him a laptop and other supplies for school. He chose an early job working at a restaurant because his boyfriend said there'd be fewer people they knew at that time.

San did everything for his boyfriend — and he didn't know why.

He figured it was to repay for the love his boyfriend gave him. For choosing him. Out of all people. So San felt indebted to make him feel happy because a couple had to hold up both ends.

But he knew something was off. The moment his heart stopped beating fast whenever the man got close. The way his laugh disappeared. How alone he felt on many nights.

San changed.

The front door opened, and a pair of shoes stumbled in.

"Sihyun, where have you been?"

A male groaned. "Sweetheart, I don't see anything for" a pause. "For our guests."

It occurred to San that the man was drunk. Like many nights. He stood and walked towards the front, where two random men were taking a seat at his dining table.

"Babe, you didn't tell me we would have... guests," San trailed off. Sihyun shook his head and walked away, grumbling. He opened their glass case to retrieve some liquor bottles.

"Come here, sweetheart."

San obeyed like he tends to do. He didn't want to appear unpleasant to the guests. He desired to please everyone.

And so he sat in his boyfriend's lap, silently, while the male joked and drank with his friends for the night.

~ ~ ~

It was a wonder to San how he could wake up so early. There was still some time before his shift—about two hours.

San slid out of his boyfriend's arms as he usually would. Because yesterday night, he was contemplating starting a new hobby: running.

He planned to get out of the house early, jog or so at the nearby park, then run to work. On his way back, he could take the bus... or something.

His boyfriend would still be home, but he was afraid to ask.

Sihyun stirred in his bed, inching towards San's side to outstretch a leg. He groaned and slowly opened his eyes.

"Where are you going?" he asked like he usually would.

"To the park. Then I'll run to work." San was already choosing his athletic clothes and packing the work outfit into a small backpack.

"The park? Running?" Sihyun laughed. "Since when do you do that?"

"It's... something new I want to try." San slowed down his movements. "I-Is it funny?"

"No, sweetheart. Just be careful. Don't know who you could see at the park."

San knew that phrase. "To see" meant to meet. And Sihyun wasn't fond of San bringing new friends home.

But San nonetheless muttered an 'okay' as he started changing, his boyfriend whistling once at the show and drifting back into slumber.

Once closing the front door behind him, San exhaled and commenced sprinting.

The breeze kissed San's face as he ran against it -- and that was welcoming. Something fresh for his nostrils, something different to leave his mouth. Diminutive white breaths disappeared into thin air.

San didn't stop until he reached the park.

The children's playground looked different at six in the morning. Of course, no child was on it -- they were most likely tucked away into the safety of their bed, in their warm bedroom, the one their caring parents provided. No kids to yell in excitement or invite San as a friend in their game.

San followed behind Sihyun, holding his arm as the two walked throughout the park.

"Mister!"

"...?"

San turned to the little girl tapping his arm. His look immediately softened as he tilted his head and crouched to her height.

"Yes?"

"Can you push me on the swings? My mommy's taking care of my brother." She gestured to a woman rocking her crying baby back and forth.

San turned to Sihyun, who held a straight expression. But he didn't say anything. So San shrugged and turned back to her.

"Sure."

The girl took his hand and dragged him towards the swings. San smiled as she excitedly jumped onto the seat and held onto the chains. He started with slow pushes.

"Use your feet to help you, sweetheart."

A tender feeling ran through San when the little girl laughed aloud. She swung her legs high with a bright grin, cheering.

"San, let's go."

"O-Oh..." San stopped pressing her back so she could slow down. Her smile disappeared and morphed into a confused expression.

"Sorry, sweetheart. I have to go." San patted her smaller hand. The little girl understandably nodded, hugged San, then ran to her mother.

San turned to see his boyfriend, a few steps away already. He ran down the trail to catch up with him, trying to push the girl's joyful face away from his mind.

"Sihyun!" San held onto Sihyun's hand. "Wasn't she adorable? I love kids."

But Sihyun only held a stoic expression. "Mhm. I don't..." he shrugged. "I don't like them so much."

San didn't realize he was on the verge of crying until a warm tear slid down his cheek. When did their love go wrong? Where did his own feelings go? The ones he felt made him fly so hard in the clouds. But now that San realizes it, it was only an illusion. Now he stood in reality.

This park, alone.

"Excuse me...? Are you okay?"

San lifted his head to meet a male his age with a concerned expression. His eyebrows knitted in worry, head tilted a slight angle to see San's face better.

"I... I don't know," he whispered.

"Oh." His presence inched close. "Do you," the stranger paused. "Want to talk about it?... I mean- I'm sorry for intruding."

San thought for a moment until lifting his face. "A-Actually, I think that would be helpful."

The two sat down at a nearby bench. His name was Wooyoung. He lived a few blocks away and was on his way towards the mini-mart for some breakfast.

"Breakfast?"

"Yeah. I'm a broke college student," Wooyoung laughed. San sympathetically cracked a smile, and he suddenly filled with pride for provoking a positive reaction.

Wooyoung listened to San with full attention. He gazed into the boy's eyes, noting how it sometimes flustered the older. And by the time San came to explain certain things Sihyun did, Wooyoung was frowning.

"So, that's why I was crying: I don't feel that love anymore." San wiped his tears. "W-What?"

"San, he treats you..." Wooyoung shook his head. "That's not what a relationship should be. He manipulates you and plays with your feelings so you stay with him."

"..."

"You're a sweet guy, I'm sure. And," A pause. "He sure as hell doesn't deserve you."

San looked at his hands, playing with his fingers and tapping his foot. "Oh. I didn't... think of it that way."

"But you know now." Wooyoung suddenly took San's hands. "No one deserves to be treated that way. Especially you."

"Me?"

Wooyoung didn't clarify himself. His cheeks only slightly flushed pink as he caressed San's hands.

"W-What should I do now?"

"Break up with him."

It wasn't easy. At all. But San realized he was the only one who could do it, and it was long overdue.

It was a usual late night when Sihyun walked into a silent, dark home.

"San?" he asked once, pushing his bedroom door open.

San looked up at him with entire seriousness. The bedroom was notably clean, missing many of San's everyday objects and decorations.

Sihyun chuckled. "Did some cleaning for once?"

"Yeah."

"What's up, babe?" He tossed his coat to a chair. "You sleeping early?"

"...Yeah." San felt anger slowly build up in his veins. Anger that began months ago.

"Well, I hope there's dinner downstairs. You did cook something, right?"

"..."

"San?"

"Sihyun."

The man's eyebrows pressed together at the straightforward tone. "What?"

"We're breaking up."

"Says who?"

...

San felt him step forward. His heartbeat immediately quickened. He pressed his hands into the mattress to stand and meet Sihyun's eyes.

"I do."

"Like hell, you will," Sihyun threatened. "Where are you going? Your family's far. Your friends left you. What are you going to do, live in your car?"

San didn't speak. He attempted to step past Sihyun, but it was the wrong move.

His back touched the mattress with force. San pressed his hands down to lift himself.

"You're making a stupid decision, San."

San tried again, ducking Sihyun's arms but still being pulled back by his waist.

"Let me go!" he cried. "Let-"

He fell to the floor on his knees so he could look up at Sihyun.

"C'mon, babe. Get into bed with me, and let's stop fighting."

San gritted his teeth from the pulse in his knees. But none of the pain could get in the way of his goal to leave this house.

As Sihyun extended his hand to caress San's hair, he felt teeth sink into his skin. He cursed and watched San pull the door open to leave.

San's heavy breaths made all the obscenities Sihyun screamed seem like white noise. Each word was blocked, even more so after he slammed the front door closed behind him.

"San! What happened?!" Wooyoung frantically asked his friend. He'd been waiting by San's car, filled with his things, for him.

"He's-" San shook his head.

"Come." Wooyoung pulled his hand and opened the passenger door. After closing it, he jogged over to the driver's side. San handed him the keys with shaking hands.

The last thing San saw of that house was Sihyun at the door, standing silent and watching him leave.

"Hey." Wooyoung set a hand on San's. "Breathe, okay? You're out."

San nodded, bringing his knees up to his chest. His hand shifted to squeeze Wooyoung's. "I... I'm out."

Wooyoung couldn't stop worrying for San until they reached his apartment. Until they unloaded every cardboard box San could stuff in his small sedan. Until San settled into Wooyoung's bed per Wooyoung's please.

Until a full year later, when Wooyoung finally confessed to San his attraction.

When Wooyoung and San's worries washed away to reveal bliss.

~