Requested by 10nightinhell
Features mpreg.

San leaned his head closer to Yeosang's upper chest. His boyfriend of four years smiled and brought him near.

"Hey," Yeosang brushed his shoulder. "I love you."

"I love you too," San whispered. It was normal for them to say it often. Only recently, it's been holding a lot of meaning in San's mind.

"How much... do you love me?" San hesitantly asked.

Yeosang laughed. "What kind of question is that, Sannie?"

"Like... a lot? Or how big?"

Yeosang kissed his temple. "If words could describe how much I do, they still wouldn't be enough."

"You're cheesy," San said with a grin.

"Thank you. I take that seriously." Yeosang returned to watching the movie on the screen. His hands smoothly slid down to San's hips, where the boy jerked slightly. Then slowly, Yeosang started rubbing the area.

San gulped at how firm Yeosang's hands felt. He was working out again, and his body was forming into pure muscle. San liked it, but he loved soft Yeosang just as much.

Suddenly, Yeosang placed his lips on San's neck. San closed his eyes, trying not to moan. Instead, he caught himself swaying.

"S-Sorry, Yeosang. I have to go to the bathroom."

"Huh?" San would never cut out of moments like these. Especially if it's been about four weeks since their last session. Yeosang thought San would've wanted some attention.

Yeosang continued with his movie. A little hurt, a little frustrated, he sank back into the couch and waited for San to return.

"Are you okay?" he asked when San sat right back in. "You took a little bit."

"I'm fine." San kissed Yeosang's cheek. "Let's go to bed after this."

In bed, Yeosang draped his arm over San's waist. San caressed his face for a moment before closing his eyes. And though their breaths seemed to have lowered down, their minds were well awake.

Yeosang was worried about his relationship with San. It's been a bit... dull. Not too negatively, but it's like something was missing between them. He hated to think that San was losing love for him or even cheating.

Everything's been suspicious lately. San is more reserved, quieter. He can't look at Yeosang for a moment before turning away. And San only kept their intimacy to hugging, which was sweet yet peculiar because San and Yeosang were never like this. One would always want more passionate nights with the other. Now? They've rarely done it.

As for San, thoughts about the future gnawed at his brain. He worries about Yeosang. What would happen when he finds out? When he finds out, he's pregnant?

Pregnant.

That was a whole other issue on its own. San feared for his body, his health, his baby. He was excited the day he saw the test and even more when the doctor confirmed it... until he was told seven out of ten males don't make it, and he feared being part of that portion.

And Yeosang. About a week before the pregnancy test, funny enough, San brought up the topic of adopting a baby. Yeosang immediately shut it down. He didn't want one. Not in the next ten years, at least. He wasn't even sure about the time beyond.

"No, San."

"No? Not even one?"

"No."

"I've been to an adoption center before, Yeosang," San muttered. "Those kids need homes."

"What were you doing there?" Yeosang coldly asked. San glared.

"...Hongjoong adopted his baby there."

"Good for him. I'm not taking care of a kid."

"Fine." San turned away, arms crossed.

San pushed the memory away. Tears were coming in. He knew he had to tell Yeosang.

And soon.

~

"I wish you didn't have to go. You didn't even get a proper day to pack."

"I know." San sighed and zipped his suitcase. "I wish they'd told me sooner."

"I hate your job. How long did you say?"

"...A week."

"A week? That's so long." Yeosang pouted and hugged San's waist.

"I'm sorry, Yeosangie."

"I know. But if it's for work..." Yeosang started kissing San's neck again. It was at this point where San would turn and they'd kiss roughly. Yet..

"I have to pack some more, Yeosang."

A taxi stopped by their apartment in the evening to pick up San.

Yeosang helped San out. "I love you. Be careful."

"I love you too. Don't forget me." San hugged his neck and kissed his lips.

Yeosang laughed. "I won't."

With that, San left.

~~

Yeosang drank from the shot glass given to him. He didn't know what day it was. It could've been one or six nights since San left.

How did he get here? He wasn't sure. All he knew was that he felt lonely and succumbed to the haunting thoughts surrounding his relationship.

Alcohol didn't help. It only worsened the case. Scenarios of San going behind his back and cheating arose. They messed with Yeosang, pushing him to drink more.

"Hey."

"Hm?" Yeosang turned to see a handsome man sitting on the stool beside him. His makeup was light but made his robust features stick out. His half blond, half black hair was pulled up into a ponytail.

"Did you come here alone?" Even his voice was smooth.

"Yeah."

The man's eyes fell on the glass beside Yeosang. "Breakup?"

...

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry." He held out his hand. "Wooyoung."

Yeosang didn't know how many more drinks it was, but he spent them with Wooyoung. And by the end of it, he found himself five hours deep into flirting with him.

"I realllly like you," Wooyoung slurred. Yeosang tightened the hold he had on his waist.

"If you do..." Yeosang gave a suggestive nod.

Yeosang kicked his bedroom door closed before pushing Wooyoung to the bed. The male worked on pulling up Yeosang's shirt.

Yeosang lost all of his morals that night.

. . .

Ding!

San sighed. Yeosang wasn't answering the door. He placed down the two traveling cases he had and looked for his keys. Then he stepped in.

"Yeosang? Hello?" San furrowed his eyebrows from the light echo.

The apartment was silent. But not for long. The sound of keys crashing to the ground filled the apartment.

"Yeosang!" San yelled. Tears immediately formed and covered his vision. Though the picture was already in there. Yeosang was hugging a stranger in bed, both of them bare and sleeping together.

"S-San!"

"How could you?! Why?!" San cried. Yeosang shook his head. "What?! Answer me!"

"I was alone! I've missed you, but you weren't here." Yeosang breathed in. "You were on that stupid trip, probably cheating on me, too!"

"Cheating?" San quietly asked. "You thought I was cheating on you?"

The silence returned. Only deadlier.

"...It would explain how distant you've become," Yeosang replied.

San shook his head before laughing sadly. "I lied... My job didn't send me. But I would never cheat on the person I love most."

"..."

"I took a train to see your parents. I wanted to ask for permission... so... I could marry you." San choked back a sob. "Because I love you, and... because I'm pregnant, Yeosang."

Yeosang was out of words. He felt like a complete idiot.

"I didn't want to tell you because you never wanted a child for us. And I thought if we married, you would have to accept the baby."

"Now I see it was all a mistake. This is how much our relationship means to you?"

Yeosang stepped forward. "San, I'm sorry-"

"Sorry won't fix anything, Yeosang."

"But-"

"No! Nothing can excuse this! It's over, Yeosang. Everything." San turned to leave.

Yeosang's world came crashing down, watching San go. He ran after him.

"San! No! Don't go! We can talk about it here! I want to see you. I want to see the baby. Our child." Yeosang's hand closed around San's wrist.

San dropped the cases he held to slap Yeosang across the face harshly.

"My child."

Yeosang didn't chase after them anymore. He was stupid, and everything he did was stupid. And yet, he still wanted to fight for San and his family. He wished to apologize and reconcile with his boyfriend. They would get married, and their baby would be born.

Yeosang would never get there, though.

"Yeosang? Dammit, Yeosang, wake up!"

"Mom?" Yeosang faced his mother standing at the corner of his bed.

"I've been trying to call you. Everyone has. We thought you... hurt yourself after San..." she trailed off.

"San?! After San, what?!" Yeosang sat up from his bed.

"You didn't know..." his mother cried. "How?"

"Mom! What happened to him?!"

"He was in a crash, honey. A truck hit him twenty minutes away from here. We thought you must have known."

Yeosang right away started crying. His mother embraced him tight.

"Please tell me he's okay... That he and the baby are alive, please."

"He and the baby didn't make it, Yeosang."

Yeosang choked out rough sobs. His hands clung onto the woman, trying to calm himself down. But it was impossible. His family was dead.

~~~

"Your wine."

The waiter set an elegant glass of wine on the table. Yeosang eyed the red liquid almost with disgust.

"Thank you," he whispered. The waiter nodded.

"Is... the date coming soon?" he asked in a friendly tone.

Yeosang looked at the wine glass instead. "Thank you," he said again.

Yeosang didn't know how long it'd been since he arrived. Probably an hour. He hasn't ordered anything, and it wasn't until now that the waiter offered to bring something on his own accord.

Not like Yeosang was expecting anyone to arrive.

"Delivery for Yeosang."

Yeosang took the box from the delivery man. He raised an eyebrow. 'From the person who you love and loves you the most,' it read.

A navy blazer. An invitation. Precisely, an invitation to a restaurant.

'Please bring a date.'

Now two hours in. Yeosang looked at the several tables arriving and leaving around him. A few people threw stares, but he didn't care. Nothing much mattered anymore.

"Sir, your food."

"O-Oh." Yeosang watched as several other waiters placed plates down. "I didn't order-"

The man shrugged. "It was in the reservation to serve this."

"T-Thanks." Yeosang looked at his favorite plates of food. He wanted to cry.

"I'm sorry, San!" Yeosang cried. His weak hands ran over San's name engraved into the gravestone.

Yeosang was trying to breathe over his sobs but failed.

"Sweetheart, breathe," Yeosang's mother said.

"I can't. I can't breathe when San's dead! It's all my fault!" Yeosang clung to the headstone.

Choi San. Son, husband, father.

It was three hours past the reservation. Dinner service was ending. Yeosang hadn't touched his food except for picking at a single plate. The rest was cold.

"Sir?"

"What?"

"The person who made the reservation, San, told us to give this. For you. It looks like no one else is showing up. Sorry," the waiter said and held out a silver box.

"Oh..." Yeosang took it and placed the lightweight box in front of him. It wasn't that big.

Inside was a small canvas. Yeosang turned it around to see a beautiful painting of him and San. San held a small bundle in his arms. Their baby.

Under the canvas was some article of clothing tucked in with care. Once unfolded, Yeosang swallowed hard.

Clothes for a newborn that read, 'Just as Cute as my Daddy.'

Yeosang clutched the clothes close to him, tears pouring out. When he looked up, his eyes caught one last thing.

A small velvet box. Yeosang's hands shook as he opened it. Of course: A beautiful ring.

'Will you marry me?' the small slip tucked inside the ring hole asked.

...

Yeosang wiped his tears with his sleeves. He looked down. The breeze from outside caused him to sway more than expected.

He's never noticed how tall this bridge was.

And yet, Yeosang couldn't step off.

He wasn't sure what it was. It wasn't cowardice, but something was controlling him.

Yeosang knew that deep down, he deserved to live -- to live and suffer.

Yeosang fell to his knees.

"I love you, San. I love my baby too. I'm sorry. I was the mistake."