25 December 2016

"Mumma" "Ishima"

"Haan Ruhi. Adi. What's the matter beta? Are the babies bothering you."

Ishita paused in her task of wrapping presents and called out to her two older children, who were supposed to be minding the two younger ones. Ishaan and Raashi were almost six months old now, could flop over on their stomachs and backs at will, were trying to crawl, slithered around on their stomachs like chubby little snakes and were using their new teeth to bite anything and everything. They needed constant looking after and luckily for Ishita, she had no shortage of babysitters when Aarti was on her day off. Today however was Christmas, and many of the family were away for the holidays, with those remaining busy with chores for the party that night. Which is why the babysitting duties had fallen on Adi and Ruhi.

"Kya hua Adi?" ( What's the matter Adi? ) she repeated, as no one answered her question.

"Just the twins are trying to bite each other Ishima" Adi's voice came back across the hall, muffled with laughter

"Just put them at separate corners beta" Ishita called back.

"But they start crying when you separate them Ishima" Adi appeared at the door to Ruhi's bedroom, which his Ishima had made into her present wrapping station, with his little brother in his arms. Ishaan was indeed crying, squirming in his brothers arms to try and get down, but he quietened down when he saw his mother.

"Gooo waaa ccha " he screamed in delight, straining to try and get to her.

"Oh no, Adi beta please take him away. I still have so many presents to wrap. Ishaan betu, mumma is busy mera baccha, aap bhaiyya aur didi aur Raashi ke saath khelo na please. Mera accha baccha." ( Ishaan sonny, mumma is busy my baby. You play with your brother and your big sister and Raashi please. My good boy)

But Ishaan had seen his favorite person and there was no stopping him now. He screamed loudly and lunged towards his mother, his brother managing to hold him with difficulty. "Ishaan, no, let's go" Adi said, and Ishaan glared at his big brother, before latching onto his cheek with his four teeth.

"Awooouch" cried Adi, and Ishita sighed. "Bilkul shaitaan ho gaye ho Ishaan" ( You're an absolute devil these days Ishaan) she said loudly, starting to get up.

"Excuse me. What did you just call my son?"

Ishita looked up in relief as her husband entered the room, his arms full of shopping bags, his eyebrows cocked as he mock glared at her.

"Raman" she called out in relief. "Please na, aap in dono ko sambhalo. Mujhe abhi bhi kitni saari wrapping karni hai, aur yeh aap hi se sambhalte hai. Inke tedhe medhe harkaton sirf inke tedhe medhe papa hi sambhal sakte hai. Warna kitne badmash ho rahe hai dono. Yeh dekho Adi ko daat kaat raha hai yeh chota Raavan." ( Raman, please look after these two. I still have so much gift wrapping to do, and you're the only one who can control them. Their crooked ways can only be understood by their crooked papa. They are getting so naughty. And look this junior Raavan is biting Adi)

Raman put his load of parcels on Ruhi's bed next to his wife and grinned at her. "Tedha medha huh? Lekin dimaag toh kamaal ka hai. Waise, you need to use your brains madrassan" he smirked. "These are all pre wrapped. And madam, yeh kya, jab naughty ho toh chota Raavan aur jab aacha hai toh tumhara madrasi Rajnikant?" (Crooked, huh? But I have a better brain than yours. And by the way, you need to use your brains madrassan. These are all pre wrapped. And madam, what is this, when he is naughty, he is a junior Raavan and when he is being good he is your South Indian Rajnikant?)

Ishita grinned back at her husband and he showed a fist to her before turning to his older son.

"Give him to me Adi" He extended his arms and Adi gratefully deposited his younger brother into them, before gleefully escaping from the room.

"Oye Rajnikant" Raman secured Ishaan in his arms, holding him up as he blew raspberries on his chubby little tummy, turning his complaints into squeals of laughter. He fell on the bed next to his wife holding his son aloft and Ishita smiled fondly at both, her eyes shining with love at the delight on Ishaan's face and the contentment etched on Raman's. Ishaan was a mummy's boy who tended to cling to her, and Raman always had his arms full of his very possessive little daughter, but when this father son duo had time together, their similarities were very evident. If Ishaan grew up to be anything like his father, he would be a good man indeed, she mused, staring at her husband fondly.

Looking at her husband recalled something to her and she sighed.

"Raman, do you really have to go tomorrow?"

"Yes sweetheart, I have to" He blew another raspberry on his son's stomach, then leaned over and landed a quick kiss on his wife's lips. "Miss karogi mujhe?" (Will you miss me?)

"Of course Raman" she paused in her wrapping and reached out a hand to touch his cheeks. "Aap ke bina bilkul accha nahi lagta. Aur aap ko maloom hai na, aap Ruhi ka recital miss kardoge. Usko samjhana kitna mushkil hota hai ki papa kyun nahi hai. Aur in dono ko bhi aap ke bina sambhalna bahut mushkil hai. Adi bhi toh Mauritius jaa raha hai do hafto ke liye. Phir mummyji aur papaji Simmi ke yahan par hai, aur amma aur appa aaj Chennai chale gaye. Hum kitne akele ho jaayenge." ( Of course Raman. Nothing feels good without you. And you know don't you, that you'll miss Ruth's recital. It's so difficult to make her understand why her papa isn't there. And then Adi is going to Mauritius for to weeks. Mummyji and papaji are at Simmi's place and amma and appa went to Chennai today. We will be so alone.)

"It's only for a week my darling" He caught her hand in his, pressing it to his lips as their son watched them curiously. "And you won't be alone. That duffer Romi will still be around and Rinki is here too. And Bala and Vandu have promised to check on you and the kids every day. I'm sorry baby, but this trip came up suddenly, and Mihir is still away. So if you want to blame anyone, blame that cousin of yours. Jab se shaadi hui hai, woh dono toh non stop honeymoon kar rahe hai. Tumhara bechaara pati ko ab sab kuch karna padta hai." (Since they got married they have been on a non stop honeymoon. Your poor husband has to do all the work now.)

"Awww my poor baby" she said, reaching out again to him, this time kissing his cheeks softly. Ishaan, who had been watching his parents carefully, decided at this point that he didn't like his mumma bestowing kisses on anyone else but him, and let out a wail. Raman looked at his son in feigned exasperation, and then turned towards the door as another, louder wail came from that direction.

Adi was back, this time with Raashi in his arms.

"Here papa, she heard your voice" he said laughing, as he brought his screaming little sister over and plopped her on Raman's lap too. Raashi immediately grabbed for her brother, intent on removing him from her beloved papa's arms and Ishaan, who was not about to be bullied by his younger by a minute sister, lunged at her.

"Oh my God, Ishita, help me yaar" their father cried out as he tried to keep separate his almost six month old twin combatants.

Ishita laughed and grabbed her son from his father's lap, shushing him as her husband did the same with their daughter.

"Now tell me, how am I supposed to handle these two without you Raman?" She arched her eyebrows as she looked at her husband in mock horror. "Adi bhi nahi rahega" (Adi won't be here either)

"Mein ruk jaoon Ishima?" (Shall I stay Ishima?) Adi asked seriously, his smile fading. "I didn't realize papa wouldn't be here. I can't leave you alone."

"Absolutely not beta" Ishita got up from the bed, Ishaan secured under one arm and gathered Adi to her side with the other. "You've been looking forward to seeing your mom again, and you absolutely have to go. We will be fine. Romi chachu aur Rinki bua hai na, and papa will be back in one week."

"Mat jao please papa" (Dont go papa) Ruhi had also come into the room and she threw herself at her papa, burrowing into his lap. Raman smiled and put an arm around her, while Raashi snuggled onto his chest, held securely with his other hand.

"I'll be back soon, darling" he said softly, looking up to where his wife stood with her baby boy held to her chest, her older son standing next to her, one arm holding him close. A shiver passed through him, a sudden chill, as he looked st his family, and he shrugged the feeling aside. At moments like these, with his wife and children close to him, he felt like the luckiest man alive. There was no room for this irrational fear. Nothing was going to happen to them.

"Raman, kya hua?" (Raman, what's the matter?) His wife knew him too well, had noticed the shadow that passed over his face.

"Nothing madrassan" he said loudly. "You finish wrapping your presents, Im taking all my babies for ice cream. What say Ruhi? Adi?"

And he motioned to Adi to grab his little brother, departing with all four children as Ishita stood staring after her family. Just why had Raman looked so stricken, she wondered, as she sat down slowly, gathering up the remaining wrapping appear and tape again. She would ask him tonight.

The Next Morning

But there had been no time for any private conversations that night.

Ishita had been busy putting on the decorations with Romi and Rinki by the time Raman had returned with the children from their ice cream jaunt. The twins had been hungry and fractious and he had handed them over to their mother before taking over her tasks, apologizing profusely for leaving the chores to her.

She had then become busy with the twins and by the time that Aarti came back from her time off to take over with the babies, Ishita barely had time to get herself ready and supervise Ruhi before Ruhi and Adi's friends had started to arrive for the Christmas party. Luckily, many friends of Romi and Rinki had also come over to help with the children's games and dinner, but Raman and Ishita were still kept busy with supervising the children, the young adults and the hired help, and there just wasn't time to talk to each other privately.

Then by the time that Raman had finally chased off Romi's friends and locked up, Ishita had fallen asleep feeding the babies, despite her determination to stay awake to talk to her husband.

He had come into their bedroom to find her sprawled on their bed, a baby on each side cuddled up to her. He had stood for long moments staring at all three, noting with awe the trust with which their babies held on to their mother, the love with which her arms sheltered them, even in sleep.

He sat on the bed as he watched them, seeing how their faces were so alike, yet so different. Ishaan, a carbon copy of his mother, yet with Raman's fair coloring and his jaw. And Raashi, who looked so much like her papa, but with rosebud lips which were an exact copy of her mother's. And as for his madrassan. He sighed as he watched her face, relaxed in sleep, but still with a little furrow or two as she twitched and patted her daughter unconsciously.

Getting up reluctantly, Raman secured pillows on either side of the bed, and then draped a sheet over all three, taking care not to disturb mother or children. His task done, he had grabbed a pillow and sheet from the wardrobe, before settling himself on the sofa.

Turned out of his bed by two intruders, he thought ruefully, except that they were the cutest intruders imaginable, and he would have rather slept on nails then disturb them or their mumma. He kept on staring at his loves in the dim glow of the nightlight until he too had drifted off to sleep.

He had woken up a few hours later at dawn to his vibrating watch alarm, quietly rushing to get his things and then going into the bathroom to get ready, not wanting to disturb his sleeping family.

He came out of the bathroom and picked up his suitcase, before pausing at the bed where his wife and babies were still in slumber. He wanted so much to wake them up, to take them in his arms and smother them in kisses, but he knew how exhausted his madrassan had been the night before, knew how tiring things would be for her without him, and so he didn't want to disturb her sleep.

"Goodbye my darlings" he whispered, blowing kisses to all three. "Papa will be back soon."

And then he was gone.

Half an Hour Later

Ishita woke up to the insistent cry of her daughter. She moved her head and slowly opened her eyes and then sat up straight as she realized she was lying on the bed with her babies on either side, still wearing the loose red smock and tights she had worn to the Santa themed party the night before.

The last thing she remembered was coming in to feed the babies at close to midnight, after putting Ruhi to bed. Raman had still been in the hall, trying to finish up the festivities and get rid of the remaining guests.

Ishita looked anxiously at both babies, but apart from Raashi's hungry cries, they both seemed no worse the wear for their night in their mumma's bed. She saw the pillows placed securely on the side of both babies and realized that her husband must have secured the children after she had fallen asleep.

But where was Raman? Ishita wondered, as she hurriedly prepared some milk for her hungry daughter, rocking the little girl in her arms as Raashi sucked hungrily from the bottle of formula.

"Raman" she called out softly, peering towards the bathroom. "Kahan ho aap?" (Where are you?) Her eyes fell on her watch and she groaned aloud, startling her feeding baby.

"It's okay darling" she shushed, even as she berated herself inwardly. It was already 6.30 am. And Raman's flight was at 8.00 am. He must have left for the airport already, left without waking her, without saying goodbye.

Her feed finished, Raashi was closing her eyes again, and Ishita placed her in her cot, covering her as her baby drifted off to sleep again. Next she picked up Ishaan, careful not to wake him up and placed him in his cot, before grabbing her phone.

"Raman" she exclaimed as soon as her call connected. "Aap mujhse bina kahe kyun chale gaye? Kyun nahi jagaya mujhe? I wanted to talk to you, and...." (Raman, why did you leave without talking to me? Why didnt you wake me up? I wanted to talk to you and...)

"Madrassan" her husband's voice drawled back over the phone. "Slow down. Fight with me when I get back, okay? The plane is boarding now, and I have to go."

"But Raman...."

"Love you biwi."

"Raman"

The busy tone at the other end told her that her husband had ended the call. She stared at her phone, suddenly anxious and wondering why, until a whimper from Ishaan recollected her to her present.

"Coming baby" she said softly, putting the phone down on the bedstand, next to a photo of her husband with all four children. A shiver passed through her again, and she wondered why she was feeling so down, so anxious about him.

"It's because my Raavan didn't say goodbye to me, that's all" she told herself, caressing the photo gently before she hurried to her son.

"Good morning mere chote Raavan" she whispered as she picked up her baby. Ishaan yawned and then whimpered again, sucking air to indicate his hunger.

"Okay darling, abhi deti hoon" (Okay darling I'll get it just now) Ishita smiled at her son before picking up the thermos of warm water, ready to make up his formula. She needed to get busy, she had to get Adi to the airport later, and Ruhi had a birthday party to go to. Everything would be fine with Raman. She was just being silly.

And yet the fear lingered.

Two Hours Later Somewhere in the Clouds

Raman sat back in his seat, closing his eyes momentarily as he sipped from the glass of vintage Scotch whisky that the pretty young stewardess had just served him. He knew his madrassan had wanted to speak to him, but he was afraid that had they spoken, she would have picked up on the anxiety that just would not leave him since yesterday.

He did not know what it was. Perhaps the fact that he was leaving Ishita alone with Raashi and Ishaan for the first time since the babies birth. The fact that his parents, and hers, were also not around. It was just anxiety at how she would cope that's all, he told himself, as he switched on his phone, flicking through the photos of his Ishita and his children. He smiled as he touched the screen, overwhelmed by the live he felt for his family. Everything would be fine with Ishita, with his children. He was just being silly.

And yet the fear lingered.