♥

Milo holds me for a long period of time but I don't mind one bit, if anything I'm a little disappointed when he pulls away. "Let's walk," he says and glances at me with dilated eyes but a soft expression.

At least I know his wolf is going crazy too.

Hugs are incredibly underrated from the right person.

We walk through the trees alone, luckily it's a nice day which contributes to my mood a little. I already feel better being here and I have barely said a word. Milo doesn't rush me with a thousand questions, he gives me time to think first and enjoy the fresh air.

The bond is telling me that.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Milo asks as we stop by a massive boulder.

I press my hand to the rock and feel the coldness beneath my palm. "Yeah," I admit. "I do."

"Then unload," he says as he jumps up onto the ledge of the boulder, holding out his hand for me to join him. I hop up beside him, our thighs pressed together tightly as there isn't much room but we make it work. "I want to listen."

My head nods slowly and I stare down at the leaves that cover the ground below us. For a few moments I collect my thoughts, Milo sits beside me patiently. His presence is already making this easier for me, giving me a chance to breathe without worrying I'm going to hyperventilate.

"The Alpha of our pack," I say quietly. "He's unwell."

Milo nods his head but I don't look at him, my eyes are focused on the ground. I clear my throat gently. "And Leon, the Alpha and my father have always spoken about me becoming the next Beta when it's time."

The warmth of Milo's leg against mine is everything I need right now. "But recently, the guy who is to become the Alpha next, he's moving away with his mate. This morning they informed me that I will become the next Alpha."

Everything turns silent apart from the odd bird tweeting and the rustling of leaves.

I glance at Milo quickly but he's already looking back at me. "You don't want to be Alpha?"

"Hell no," I spit angrily. "I don't even want to be the Beta."

Milo frowns. "Why not? I'm a Beta."

I almost choke on air and then I'm smiling with surprise. "You're a beta?"

I had no idea he was the Beta.

He narrows his eyes towards me but there is a ghost of a smile on his lips. "Is that so hard to believe?" He grumbles under his breath.

"I guess because your pack are so laid back and relaxed, you respect one another, you trust one another. At mine, it's not like that at all. It feels like a dictatorship, we don't get a say and not everyone is equal when we all contribute fairly." I find myself admitting and Milo nods.

He huffs out a sigh and presses his palms to the boulder beside him. "To be fair, Everett and Reign do most of the work. I just step in when I can, or when I'm needed. Everett never wanted me to feel left out so he made me the Beta."

"Do you enjoy it?"

"Yeah," he nods confidently. "I could definitely put in more effort, that's for sure but I do enjoy it. Yeah."

I hum quietly. "I guess that's good to know."

"So your father," Milo says after a few moments. "He's forcing you to do this stuff that you don't want to do?"

My eyes flutter shut at his words. "Pretty much," I rasp.

"And you can't talk to him about it?"

I'm already shaking my head before he finishes his sentence. "Not at all," I mumble in response. "He doesn't care about other people's opinions, feelings. What he says goes, even to me and my sister. It's exhausting and sometimes I wish I could be free from the pack but now I fear I'm going to be tied to it for the rest of my life."

"I'm sorry," he admits.

I glance at him and my eyes roam his face. "For what?"

"That you have to go through this, that you can't express how you feel to your dad. Out of all people, he should be the one who cares the most, you know?" Milo's voice softens and it's like someone has rubbed silk across my body like a tickle.

My throat hardens and I look back to the ground again. "Exactly," I say quietly. "It makes me miss my mum so much."

Milo scoots closer to me, our thighs firmly pressed against one another now too. "I miss my mum as well."

Our eyes meet and I find mine beginning to build with heavy pressure. "You lost your mum?"

He nods, his eyes falling with sadness. "A few years ago but I didn't see her for years before that, I feel so guilty to this day that I didn't do anything to help, didn't go and see her more. I feel bad every single day."

"I'm sorry," I sniffle, trying my hardest not to let my tears fall.

"I'm sorry too."

"She was ill," I swallow to dampen my throat. "We knew it was coming but at least we could have prepared for it. My dad doesn't even let us talk about her, let us see old pictures. He lashes out at the mention of her and it–" I pause to take a breath. "--it fucking hurts."

Milo's arm snakes over my shoulders and tugs me into him, my head falling against his temple gently. "You can talk about her with me if you want," he says carefully. "I know I didn't know her but I'd love to hear about her."

My heart clenches at his tender voice. So authentic and real.

God. I'm so glad I came here because I'm starting to realise that maybe we can understand one another after all. I'm the one who is being too uptight and now allowing this a chance when melting into his arms feels like my own personal heaven.

"She was so beautiful," I lick my bottom lip. "She looks like my sister so much, I look at her sometimes and it floods me with so many memories. Sometimes it's a good thing, sometimes it's a bad thing. But she loved playing piano on Sunday's, she'd wake up the house at noon with these beautiful songs."

His hand swipes across my shoulder in gentle motions, the skin beneath heating at the feeling of being in my mates arms. I glance down at our laps, and reach for his vacant hand, perching it between us.

Milo sucks in a breath at the connection and I feel it zap my heart in a thousand different ways that are trying to tell me–home. I smile at the sight of our hands in one another and it gives me the courage to continue talking.

"She was also a terrible cook, I had to help her most of the time," I chuckle gently. "I remember once she almost blew the kitchen apart over a boiled egg that had exploded."

I turn my head to find Milo beaming at me with tears coating his lash line but his eyes are relaxed as he listens to me talk. "But she was such a great listener," I sniffle quietly. "She always had time for me and my sister, despite being the mate of the Beta. Always checking in, that we could tell her everything. She loved us so much, so fucking much."

Milo squeezes my fingers. "And I miss her," I mumble. "Yet I fear forgetting her because if I bring her up in front of my dad, he'll lose it. He keeps all the pictures, all her belongings, and things from her memory box. He doesn't want us anywhere near it and that fucking breaks me."

Tears have dribbled down my face and Milo nuzzles his forehead into my temple, this time he raises his head and presses a kiss to my cheek and then the side of my forehead. I shudder at the sensation but soon the tears don't feel so sad, they feel relieving.

Like I've been holding this in for this exact moment. To be comforted by my mate.

He kisses my temple again and I turn my head, our lips brushing one another ever so gently. I suck down a breath and close my eyes, goosebumps spreading across every inch of my body.

Milo pulls back and I miss the warmth of his face. It wasn't even a kiss. It was a brush of skin but I could feel every damn thing. As if I was in Milo's body with him, listening to his heart thump and his blood rush.

I raise my hand to push away my tears. "What about your mother?"

"She left to go live away with my sister Fran when I was young, I remember her but not as much anymore. The last time I saw her was fifteen years ago." He pulls his hand away from mine and I miss his touch. "So I already know I'm losing my memory of her."

There is heaviness in my chest that makes it hard to breathe. "I'm so sorry, Milo."

"It's okay," he shakes his head. "I'm not so caught up on it now but with Everett and Fran, I've been able to get through the pain of losing her and not having enough time with her. It sucks but life goes on."

"Indeed," I nod.

Milo's eyes settle back on my face and this time he raises his hand to brush down the curve of my cheek gently. He watches the action and I fizzle into his touch, enjoying every damn second of his soft skin on mine.

It brightens up the bond inside me and it encourages me to believe that Milo will give me everything, every part of him like he promised the other day. It's hard not to fall for this man when he's giving me time to open up, listening to what I want.

A large raindrop hits my cheek and I glance up at the sky, hissing at the greyness that begins to invade. "I swear the weather does this to us on purpose," I grumble.

Milo chuckles gently. "Maybe, but let's get inside. We could watch a movie or something?"

My eyes light up at his suggestion, something so normal and couple-like. I can deal with watching a film, anything will be better than going home. "Sure," I nod and jump down from the boulder, taking Milo's hand as he joins me.

The rain begins to hammer down and we're still a while from the house, our clothes absolutely soaked to the bone but neither of us seem phased. I feel the back of my hand as it brushes Milo when I swing my arm, electrocuting my body with every touch.

I try not to think of when his lips brushed over mine.

Oh God, what would his lips taste like?

My core clenches just thinking about it. We walk through his back door, kicking our shoes off on the mat and climbing the stairs. I haven't really ventured around their pack house much but I presume Milo is taking me to his bedroom.

"Let's get some dry clothes," he nods before pushing his way into a room.

I say nothing and nod instead.

Milo's room is fairly clean. Grey and white walls with plants dotted around, one hanging from the ceiling, a cactus beside his bed. I almost choke when I step inside, his scent swarming my lungs and capturing me in a trancelike state.

For a few moments I feel dizzy but tell myself to try and stabilise my mind. "Here," Milo says as he rummages through his drawers. He hands me an oversized hoodie and a pair of tracksuit bottoms. "Will this be okay?"

I take the soft fabric of the clothes between my hands, warming my cold fingers. "Yeah, thank you."

"There's a bathroom here," he points to an en-suite. "I'll get changed and head downstairs, you know where the living room is?"

My eyes keep focused on Milo's blue gaze. "Yeah," I say before I shut the bathroom door behind me.

I strip off my damp clothes, sticking to every inch of my body. I stand in nothing but my boxers in the mirror and I take Milo's hoodie between my hands before burying my face in it with no shame.

Every part of me twinges, including my cock that was extremely unexpected.

I rip them away from my face and hurl them on, ignoring my red face in the mirror from what I've just done. I collect my clothes and fold them on the side before leaning over the basin to warm up my cold hands.

My eyes float along the counter and they stop when I spot a box of tablets sitting on the side. Milo's name is on the front and I frown at the name of the drug.

Sertraline.

I've never heard of that in my life. I glance away and look at the mirror. Before I know what I'm doing I've taken my phone from my pocket and typed in the name of the medication and I let my eyes roam over the words quickly.

Sertraline is a type of antidepressant that is often used to treat depression, panic attacks, OCD and PTSD.

My phone lowers from my face and a wave of guilt crashes over my body. Milo hasn't been very well, mentally and I had no fucking idea. I lick my dry lips and pocket my phone, running my hands through my damp hair.

I can feel my wolf whine in protest, wanting to know how we can make our mate feel better but I don't want to be crossing into his boundaries–I've already done that by reading his fucking medication.

And now I fear I've been pushing him away when he's been struggling too.

♥ ♥ ♥

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Author's Note

Omg. Their almost kiss.🥹🥲😭

Also the fact that they are opening up to each other about their mothers and Milo telling Nate that he's a beta. UGHHH THIS STEP FORWARD IS EVERYTHING.🫠💜

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