A light rainstorm had started to pour down overhead, appearing out of nowhere like April showers usually do. The city was used to such downpours during this season, and so were its citizens. The rich smell of petrichor permeated the air and raindrops gathered in little puddles on the cobblestone streets.

Benjamin hardly paused to glance at his surroundings as he hurried towards his destination. A little rain was not going to deter him from his call of duty. So he walked on through the damp streets, passing by equally drenched strangers.

By the time he reached the convent, his coat and hat were soaked. But this did not faze him. What mattered most was seeing Emilia. Since he had not performed any treatments on her yesterday, it was imperative he did so right away. He would hate for her condition to worsen. Especially since the disease was not so advanced as before.

Benjamin paused in the rain to collect himself. Yesterday, he had been unhinged, he had been driven by emotion. He had been negligent. If he had not been so preoccupied up with his thoughts, he could have done what he was supposed to do. And now, he feared his inaction might have severe consequences for Emilia.

Benjamin's boots squelched across the slick stones as he rushed up to the convent doors. His gloved fist met wood, giving an impatient knock. The man was in such a hurry he had forgotten to place his bird-like mask on, something he never failed to do before entering.

The door eased open, revealing the vacant face of the prioress. "Hello, doctor."

"Hello. May I come in?" he asked, removing his dripping hat and holding it in his hands.

"What for?" She narrowed her gray eyes, but her face remained unchanged.

He blinked, having to make sure he heard correctly. "For Emilia. I am still treating her."

"Sister Emilia is no longer here with us." She started to close the door.

"What?" Benjamin drew closer to the crack. "Is–Is she alright? Where did she go?"

"Wherever her kind goes," the woman simply replied before slamming the door.

"What–What is that supposed to mean?" he demanded, banging on the door. "Open this door this instant!"

But the door remained shut tight, never to be opened to him again.

With nothing more to do, Benjamin turned his sodden self around and splashed back to his surgery. The prioress's words echoed through his mind even though the convent grew smaller and smaller behind him. A knot started to form inside his bowels as he walked down the city streets.

The prioress had spoken with such disdain. As though Emilia were nothing more than garbage.

Than a whore.

Benjamin came to a halt and the world paused along with him. How could he not have figured it out sooner? There would be only one reason for Emilia to be thrown out of the convent.

But how had the nuns found out about Nathaniel? He had not told a soul.

Unless someone had overheard.

"Walls have ears," he told himself. "Especially those walls."

A wagon sped by him, setting the world in motion once more but Benjamin did not even flinch. He needed information and he knew exactly where to find it.

He turned on his heel, heading for the area of town where he could information on anyone.

For the right price, of course.

**

Their residence was no longer an apartment, but a small townhouse like the rest that lined the streets. He looked for any sign or indication that the Eldridges lived here, but he could find none. He would have to knock to know for certain.

Grimacing, Benjamin tapped the door with his knuckles before standing back. It only took a matter of seconds before it opened and a young man stepped out.

"You," Benjamin breathed, recognizing him instantly despite his disheveled appearance.

"Y–Yes?" the teenager sniffled. "M–May I help you?"

"Where is she?" He glared. "Where is your sister?"

Nicholas dried his bloodshot eyes. "E–Emilia she is... she is–"

"Nicholas!" someone called from the house. "Who disturbs us at this hour?"

Benjamin glanced behind the boy before frowning back down at him. "I was treating her at the convent. But she was not there today. What happened?"

Nicholas gave a quick look over his shoulder. "She–She is dead."

Something within Benjamin snapped. At the time, he thought it must have been intestines after all. It was certainly painful enough to be.

"What?" His eyes flickered.

"She jumped into the river this morning." Nicholas choked back a sob.

"No... No!" Benjamin staggered back, feeling his throat constrict. "This cannot be! No!"

Nicholas shook his head. "The convent excommunicated her... and my family– my father–he refused to welcome her home."

"Are–Are you saying you disowned her?!" Benjamin seized the boy's collar.

"NO!" he cried. "My father! It was my father!"

"But you did nothing." His hands moved without command. "You let her die." His fingers wrapped around Nicholas's throat and began to squeeze down. Nicholas was in his grasp but all he saw was Emilia.

Nicholas thrashed, he coughed and spluttered but Benjamin heard nothing but deafening ringing like church bells in his ears. And all he could see was red, like Nathaniel's blood.

"Nicholas! Who is at the door?" the voice called again.

Benjamin threw the boy against the stone wall and watched as he sank to the floor. His eyes were watering, but if they were from grief or a lack of oxygen, Benjamin could not tell. Or perhaps, he did not care. Nicholas could choke on his own spit for all he was concerned.

If he wasn't so pathetic to look at, Benjamin might have just beaten him.

**

There was not a puddle in sight, leaving no trace of rain behind. The streets had returned to their usual, dry state as before. The sun was out and shining, radiating warmth over the city. Spring had returned with its bright flowers and cloudless skies. It was if there had been no storm at all. But in Benjamin, a tempest raged.

Benjamin knew there had been a storm. His coat still retained some of the dampness from it. It was all the proof he had to be sure it had occurred.

Just as all he had left of Emilia were his memories. They were the only thing that remained of her, that was evidence she existed.

Twice she had existed in history, and twice she was forgotten by all but him.

As he unpacked these memories, one by one, and wandered without aim, Benjamin found himself alongside the river, gazing into its watery depths. He hoped it had been a fast death. He hoped it was the cold that got to her first.

All he had left of her now was an empty sort of hope and a feeling of desiderium he could not answer.

Twice, he had met her.

Twice, he had treated her.

And twice, he had let her die.

Benjamin was glad he was alone. He was glad no one could hear him as he started to scream out across the river.

"My life be damned!" he raged. "My life be cursed!"

He should have known redemption was not for him. This was no miracle, no act by God. This was beyond any cruelty he had known. Only the devil himself could have done this.

"Why? Why must life taunt me like?!" Benjamin felt the burn of warm tears cooling in the mid-day breeze. "Was the first time not enough?"

He had failed. Despite his best efforts, he had failed her.

He had killed for her. Stained his hands with blood, damned his soul to hell.

And for what? She had died anyway.

Meaningless, that is what his life was. Meaningless.

Every act of kindness, each attempt to impart salvation, every unselfish deed was for naught. Maybe he should throw himself into the river too. End this frustration, end this disbelief. Just end it all. But the coward in him drew back to watch Emilia's grave swirl and eddy around the reflection of his mask.

From atop the trees, a flock of crows cawed. Benjamin's ears perked up and he turned just in time to see them take flight over the water.