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Unedited
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Sidharth couldn't drive at high speed on the kachcha road hence the pace of auto was slow. The lady literally stood in the middle of the road ready to risk her life to stop him. Sidharth stepped on the brake just an inch away from hitting her.

"Kamine rukh jaa..", the lady yelled with her eyes clenched shut and hands in front of her face. She was an actor by profession and actors have special attachments with their faces in all circumstances.

He silently observed her making a halt pondering who she was. No one had ever used such a word to address him.

"Thaare ko marne ka itna shok se toh pass mein railway station se waha pe jaake train ke aage let jaa.. iss chotte se auto se thaara kuch bigadne waala na se", he said

"Teri toh..", She lowered her hands and opened her eyes to meet his brown orbs.

"Re Chorri.. Zaban sambhal ke.. thanne pata bhi se tu kisse baat kar rahi se?", he matched her tone. She walked to the side to get a clear view of the man sitting on the driver's seat.

"Tujhe jaan ke kya karungi? Tu kaunsa Prime Minister hai? Ulta tu mujhe nahi janta ki main kaun hoon..", said Shehnaaz.

He looked at her from top to bottom clearly.

"Aise bikhre baal, phate kapde aur bina jutti ke toh tu manne koi bhikaaran laage se.. Ghaagra pehna bhool gayi ke?", He asked.

"Arrggghhh.. fashion ki sense hi nahi hai.. ganwaar kahi ka..", she mumbles.

"Ke boli?", Asked Sidharth.

"Iss gaaon mein koi hai bhi ya saare marr gaye? Kitne dher se khadi hoon, na koi gaadhi hai ya na koi aadmi.", Said Shehnaaz.

"Rey akal ki andhi toh toh pehle se hai, aankh se bhi andhi se ke? Itni badi ghaadi aur itna bada aadmi thanne dikhe na?", He asked.

"Ab dikha issi liye toh roka.. Mujhe iss gaaon ke Sarpanch Sidharth Thakur ke yaha jaana hai. Jitne paise chahe bolo, de dungi.", She said.

"Thakur se ke kaam hai thaare ko?", Asked Sidharth totally puzzled.

"Kyu tum uske secretary ho? Jo main tumhe detail batao. Woh joh bhi hai woh mere aur uske beech ki baat hai. Tum bas meri samaan uttao aur ghaadi mein rakho samjhe?", She said picking up her broken heels from the ground and occupying the seat.

"Thaare baapu ke naukar naa se, jo thaare saare kaam kaunga. Apna samaan khudh utta ke rakh de ghaadi mein..", he said.

"Oye, mere papa ke baare mein baat math kar, warna zubaan keech lungi.", She warned. He laughed loudly looking at her.

"Apni aukaat ke hissab se zubaan chala. Itni himmat laati kaha se hai? Ib is bakat thanne maahri auto ki zarurat se, manne nahi, aur tu maahre se panga le rahi se..", He asked.

"Rrrr.. dekho main tumhaari shikhaayat laga dungi Sidharth se.", She warned, which made him chuckle.

"Heh? Thakur thaari baat kyu maanega? Tu kaun, uski lugaai laage se ke?", He smirked.

"Haan.. Hoon main uski lugaai.. ab bol, teri kya problem hai? Lagaau kya tumhaari sikhayat mere pati se? Haan?", She yelled.

"Huh?", Sidharth looked at her with wide eyes in shock who was claiming him as her husband infront of him.

"Aankhein phaad ke dekhna band karo, aur jaldi jaldi bag uttake rakho ghaadi mein. Mera Sidharth baby mera wait kar raha hoga..", she said.

"Baby?"he was dumbfounded by her claims.

Jeh kaunsi meri amma paida ho gayi je maahre ko baby baby bole?

"Haan.. baby.. pyaar se main usko baby bolti hoon.. baby ka matlab pata bhi hai?", She asked with a smirk.

"Bachcha?", He gulped and looked at her in confusion.

"Haan, wahi.. mera ganda sa nona bachcha..", she baby talked with a pouty face. Her eyes formed a shrunk into thin line as she said so. He stared at her absolutely bemused with his mouth open awide.

"Haan.. pehle yeh kar lo..", she said rolling her eyes and sitting back relaxed with her legs crossed.

"Aaaa.. mmm..", he shut his mouth and gulped and silently placed her bags in the auto before she said anything else which would cause his mind to explode.

He started the auto and looked at her from the rear mirror to find her applying lipstick on her lips. He smirked and made the auto jerk suddenly. With that her lipstick got smudged over her cheeks.

"Rrrrrr.. Thik se gaadhi nahi chala sakte kya?", She yells with a frowning face.

"Naa ji.. pehli baar chala raha hoon.. navi ghaadi se na? Thakur saab se shikhaayat toh na karegi?", He asks.

"Idiot! (Mumbles) Mera sara lipstick kharab kar diya..", she scolds while looking at the broken lipstick.

"Ib itne raat ko kaun lipa-poti karta hai?", He asked.

"Main karti hoon. Tumhe koi problem hai?", She asked.

"Manne ke pareshaani hogi? Mein kaunsa thaara marad su?", He asked.

"Huh.. misogynist! Agar mere marad hote toh bhi meri lipstick lagane se kya problem hoti? Tum gaonwalon ka yahi problem hai, tum logon ko aurate sirf ghar baitke khaana banaaye aur bachche sambhale, isi se matlab.", She said annoyed.

"Ib yaha baat thaari aur maahri ho rahi se, aur tu pure gaonwalon ko daant rahi se. Tanne gaonwalon se ke pareshaani se? Manne maahri lugaai lipstick laagaye isse koi pareshaani na, bas raat ko na lagaaye. Ib tujh bail-buddhi ko ke samajh ki raat ko ke pareshaani hogi. (Mumbles) Padhi-likhi ganwaar.", He said.

"Huh!! Whatever!!", She said focusing on cleaning her lipstick.

"Huh!! Whatever!!", He lipsed imitating her.

"Lo pahuch gaye Thakur saab ke ghar. Uttar jao ib..", he said.

She looked outside to see an old shoddy looking little shed.

"Yeh?", Asked Sana scrunching her nose due to strange smell.

"Haan..", said Sidharth

"Yeh tum kiske ghar le aaye? Maine iss gaon ke Sarpanch, Sidharth Thakur ke ghar jaane bola tha..", she narrowed her eyebrows at him.

"Yahi toh se, Thakur saab ka ghar. Ib tu thaare marad ka ghar bhi na pechaane ke?", He asked.

"Aaa.. aaa.. (mumbles) kaha phas gayi yaar main.. Uss Khanna ko toh ganne ke tarah nichodke jaan nikal dungi.. Baby, Sarpanch ka ghar hai, gaon ke bhaaki gharon se hi-fi hoga.. my foot.. isse achcha toh woh sunsaan railway station tha.. arggghhhh..", she muttered under her breath animatedly while Sidharth watched her with a smirk.

"Ke badbada rahi se? Bittar jaake apne marad se nahi milna? Thaara baby toh thaara baatt dekhe se..", said Sidharth.

Le abhi yeh chilgooza bhi mujhpe aisi comment maar raha hai.. mazaak bana ke rakh diya mera..

"Haan, jaa rahi hoon. Ye lo apne paise aur daffaa ho jaao..", she says annoyed.

Rassi jal gayi par bal nahi gaya.. ghani motti buddhi se.. fikar ko na, isse raaste pe leke aane ka jimma ib maahra se..

"Achcha, maahre layak koi kaam hai toh manne kabhi bhi yaad MATH karna.. kyuki manne thaara koi kaam karke ib aur punnya nahi kamaana..", Sidharth said sarcastically.

"Huh!! Loser..", she frowned.

A villager in his early fifties comes running out of the shed.

"Thakur saab...", He folds his hands but is immediately interrupted and his words overlapped by Sidharth.

"Thakur saab, Raam Raam", Sidharth folded his hand. The villager was perplexed as to why he was asking addressing him as Thakur saab.

"Kaise hai Thakur saab?", Sidharth winks at him and the old man looks at Shehnaaz and nods understanding his gesture. Shehnaaz stared at the old man

Hmmm.. yeh zarur Sidharth Thakur ka baap hoga..

"Sab thik.. aur yeh?", The old man points out at Shehnaaz.

"Ke baat kar rahe ho Thakur saab, yeh aapki lugaai se. Pehchaana nahi?", Said Sidharth.

"Maahri Lugaai?", The old man gulped nervously.

"Yeh, Sidharth Thakur hai?", Asked the now shocked Shehnaaz.

"Haan.. aapke baby.. Ke Thakuraain, Thakur saab aapko pehchaane nahi toh aap bhi Thakur saab ki phirki le rahi ho?", Said Sidharth.

"Ewww.. He is not my baby..", said Shehnaaz looking at the old man.

"Thakur saab, aapne apni lugaai ko gussa dila diya. Ib aapki bhi koyi galati na se. Thakuraain ne jyada laali-powder laga liya se, isiliye shayad aap nahi pehchaane..", said Sidharth

Sidharth went to the nearby hand pump and picked up the bucket filled with cold water and poured it on Shehnaaz unannounced.

"What the hell? Kamine mere pe paani kyu daala?", Shehnaaz screamed extremely irked. The villager looked at Sidharth in utter shock since an unknown lady called him kamine..

"Re baawli, tanne pata bhi se tu kis se baat kare se?", The old man scolds.

"Thakur saab, koi baat na se.. Thakuraain ki laali-powder uttar gaya isiliye sadma lage se. Par aap ib apni lugaai ko pehchaane ke nahi?", Sidharth asked smirking at Shehnaaz.

"Lugaai my foot.. yeh mera pati nahi hai..", Shehnaaz stomped in irritation.

"Haan Thakuraain, pata se yeh thaare pati na se.. yeh toh thaare gande sa none bachche se.. thaare bab-bi..", he imitated in the same baby tone as she had said earlier.

"Rrrrrr... How irritating..", she screamed in extreme irritation. Sidharth smiled internally. He observed her shivering because of cold water.

"Thakur saab, le jaayiye apni lugaai ko aur inko apne kapde badalne ko boliye.. manne apne ghar nikalna se ib..", said Sidharth.

"Sunno please.. mujhe yaha nahi rehna.. maine tumse jhoot bola tha ki yeh mera pati hai. meri toh shaadi bhi nahi huyi.. yaha koi rehne ke liye hotel milega kya?", She said in a little scared tone.

He felt pity for her for the moment.

"Yeh gaon hai, yaha pe koi hotel na milega. Agar thaare ko dikkat na ho toh tu maahre ghar mein reh sakti hai..", said Sidharth.

"Ghar?", She looked at the shed behind and gulped.

"Maahre ghar maahri maa aur behan se. Toh thaare ko darrne ki koi jarurat na se..", said Sidharth.

Shehnaaz nods her head. Her pulls the little shawl on his shoulder and gives it to her.

"Ponch le warna bimaar padh jaavegi..", said Sidharth. She takes it and sits in the auto before wiping herself. Sodharth starts the auto and heads towards his house.

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To be continued.. ❤️❤️

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