Kill Our Way To Heaven - Michl





"You... Wait what? Are you serious?!"

Jimin shuffles to the sudden question, sitting there on the kitchen barstool, phone in hand to his ear while his other hand is holding Taemin's soft palm - who's staring back at him in comfort with a small encouraging smile.

A weak and hesitant smile.

There's a long pause, more so Jimin finding the words on how to respond back, before deciding to keep it simple.

"Yes."

Taemin squeezes his hand, watching as Jimin let's out a heavy exhale while hearing Jackson on the other line of the phone choking on his breathes before going into crackles of happiness and then to full on squealing.

Happy, he's very happy.

Now this made Jimin a little bit more relaxed, closing his eyes and breathing, telling himself that this is a good choice that he did.

It may be nerve wrecking now but he definitely won't regret it.

What's going on right now? Well, after being with Jeongguk last night, especially at the rink, Jimin began to feel this longing to skate. To feel that connection on the ice and use his ballet skills to perform in his own style. The chemistry he felt with Jeongguk, even if they didn't talk, was still so strong that it touched his soul - yearning to come back.

He's never felt this way about a partner before.... And he doesn't want to lose that.

Silly, he knows that. So that's why when he came back last night, he spoke to Taemin about it since he was already here watching a tv.

He didn't expect anything less from his instructor, or friend. Taemin understood, he really did, and told him to go for what feels like the right thing to do that will give him peace. To do something that he won't regret in days or months from now, or if it won't get in the way of his recovery process.

Jimin thought about it, he did, and to be fair - he didn't have to convince himself too much either.

So now here they are, Jimin taking a leap of faith and calling Jackson - who was actually in the airport of Brazil to come back - and perhaps reluctantly asking to return to the skating program.

Jackson is still squealing, shrieking really, and his happiness felt so overwhelming that it even made Jimin tear up a bit and bow his head down with shakily lips. Taemin brings their interlaced hands together and pecks his knuckles, assuring him it's okay if he's feeling so much right now.

He's not alone.

Truth is, Jimin doesn't even fucking know why he's close to crying in the first place. He's not upset or even angry, but he feel a knot painfully being undone inside him - As though he's facing something he's been avoiding for a while.

It's so suffocating yet relieving at once.

It's like he can breathe but still is afraid to do so.

"Wait, are you for sure? Don't play with me Jimin or I will-"

"I'm serious," Jimin breathes, sniffling a little while Taemin reaches over and pats a tissue to his cheek where the tears are staining his skin, "I won't back out this time..... What I need from you is to just be flexible if I sometimes can't make it to practice. I'm still seeking therapy and have ballet-'

"Don't even worry about that, take your time. Whatever you need, I support it," Jackson says, being careful with his words to not make the other man feel so overwhelmed, "I'm coming back soon, we can meet up and talk about it more and set out what you would like for me as a coach to provide for you, yeah?"

Jimin once again sniffs, his eyes still burning with lips still trembling fiercely but he nods to himself, the phone shaking on his palm, "Thank you. You're a really good coach."

"I know, but I hope you remember one thing before we hang up though," Jackson says, pausing for a moment before slowly continuing, "Whatever you're feeling ight now," Jimin's heart began to squeeze, "It's okay to feel that way. I don't want you to force yourself to do anything if it's going to hurt you from the inside. Yeah?"

He knows.

He knows how Jimin is fighting in keeping himself together - he fucking knows.

Now Jimin's leg starts to shake.

Fighting to swallow back the sob, Jimin squeezes his eyes tighter and grinds his teeth together, "Yeah, I k-know."

"You've been through a lot, haven't you?"

Jimin grips his hand tighter with Taemin's, but Taemin gets off the barstool across from him and stands behind him with arms around his shoulders. The knot chokes and suffocates Jimin's throat, crawling up while stretching this aching agony in his chest and reaching all the way to his heart.

He painfully nods, unable to hold back the sob from his lips, "Mhm."

"It's okay if you don't forgive yourself now for whatever happened," Jimin had to place his fingers to his lips to make them stop shaking, "It's not your fault. You're very brave and I'm so proud of you for making it this far. I believe you, okay? Whatever it is that's hurting you inside, it's not your fault."

Jimin hugs Taemin's arms around him, not knowing how long he can last before he breaks apart in his final nod, whispering, "Thanks Jackson."

That's all he could really say, and Jackson understood it well. The two ended the call and Jimin surprisingly didn't cry, or scream, or burst into sobs.

Instead, he just let's Taemin hold him in his arms with his cheek pressed to the crown of his head, assuring him that it's all going to be okay without physically saying it. Even if Jimin could cry right now, he just didn't have the energy to do it. It's not that Jackson's words rubbed him off the wrong way, no on contraire - Those were the words he needs to hear.

To heal.

To accept.

And slowly let go.

After a moment of just sitting there and Taemin comforting him, Jimin relaxes himself and slowly turns around, facing Taemin. The other man only cautiously looks at him, eyes bleeding in worry but still he smiled and rubs Jimin's cheeks with his thumbs.

"I know you can do this," Taemin only whispers, "Don't be scared, I got you. All the time."

Jimin exhales through the noses heavily and places his hands on Taemin's wrists, closing his eyes with a tired nod, "Thank you. I really mean it. You've been a good support to me, and I will always be grateful for that."

Taemin makeshifts a slow smile and nods, pressing a kiss to his forehead, "I love you."

"Me too."

From there the two ended up settling themselves on watching another documentary, more so because Jimin didn't want to dive into a deep conversation at the moment. They usually would whenever he would feel overwhelmed but tonight he just want to be relaxed and not think so much of the anxiety he felt only moments ago.

Besides, last night they did a whole lot of talking as it is. Mostly about the skating, but bits and pieces about Jeongguk. There's not much really to say, but there is this crawling feeling in Jimin's heart that he feels whenever he thinks about Jeongguk.

Last night was for once one of the most normal outings he's been to in his life. As in, with just one person. It's different with Taemin and Jihyo since they're friends, they're use to going out together. Sure, he's been in relationships and they would go out alone, but either something would happen in a commentary about Jimin's attitude or they would end up fucking.

But last night it just felt so casual. Jimin didn't feel anxious or distressed that something may go wrong, and he doesn't know exactly if it was Jeongguk's passive yet calm attitude or his respect to not overstepping boundaries.

No matter what happened back then between them, or his feelings he had for Jimin, he tried hard to make him feel comfortable.

And that's something Jimin appreciates a lot actually.

There were moments, questioning moments though, where Jimin would ask himself; What if I never left Brazil, what would've happened?

Would they have been in a relationship? Would Jimin have developed more stronger feelings? Would they just fall out because of inconsistency of Jimin's emotions?

What would've happened?

That Jimin can't say.

He came back here, pushing everything away in order to heal.

And Jeongguk came right back.... To him.

Would that be some sick fate or Jeongguk still is acting stupid for Jimin's impulsive attitude, who knows.

In some way, Jimin is glad that he still came back.

Now he can show him that he's changed.... And that he's sorry too.

"Jimin."

The brunette snaps his eyes, turning to Taemin while laying on on his chest the second he heard his name. Taemin isn't looking at him though, instead he's looking at the phone ringing on coffee table.

Jimin's phone to be exact.

Someone's actually calling him?

The people who usually do would only be Taemin, Jihyo or Jackson. Taemin is here, he just spoke to Jackson and Jihyo is taking a nap from what he knows.

Eyebrows furrowed now, Jimin untangles himself from Taemin for a brief moment to only end up back on his chest with his phone in hand this time.

And his heart did a leap of thump in surprise the second he saw who was the contact calling him.

Jeongguk.

Wait, Jeongguk?

How is it Jeongguk?

He doesn't..... Talk.

A ping of worry suddenly arise from deep inside Jimin and before he could even answer, Taemin did it for him with his own twinkle of worry to the same realization he had as Jimin.

Something happened. There's no way he would call like this.

Jimin quickly brings the phone to his ear, "Hello-"

"N-News," It's Jeongguk, "N-News.... Now!"

The news?

The fuck happened?!

The rush of panic eats Jimin alive the second he heard this as he tells Taemin quickly to turn on the news channel, starting to shake to how Jeongguk's breathes unevenly through the other line. He doesn't sounds so distressed to show that something so horrible happened, but he does sound anxious enough and a bit on edge.

Out of all people, he calls Jimin?

Was it that bad?

For some reason Jimin's mind suddenly flew to the worse case scenario and about plane and he immediately prayed - to whoever out there - that nothing has happened to his team or coaches on their trip back home. Jimin is aware that they're all coming back today, so this better not be some news that the plane fucking crashed because he would-

"Jimin, look!"

Jimin still holds the phone to his ear, not fucking leaving Jeongguk alone right now until he knows exactly what's going on, but his blood pressure dropped the second he saw the headlines.

Oh.

Wow his mind really is dangerous in jumping into the worse case scenario like that.

Well no accident, thankfully, but.... It's still not good news.

Especially if it involves the headlines of the most two precious skaters in the country.

"Kim Taehyung and Choi Minho dating?!"

"Pictures have been leaked, exposing Kim Taehyung - Olympic Gold Medalist Figure Skater- and Speed Skating Jewel of South Korea, Choi Minho, getting a little too cozy with one another in their supposed training trip to Brazil."

"Is this the end of the road of the careers of the Jewels of South Korea?!"

"Did Kim Taehyung cheated on his girlfriend with a man?!"

Jimin's throat clogged.

Oh no...

______________________

A/N:

Oh no indeed.....

Look like.... Things are definitely about to get even more complicated...

Let's see how it unfolds!

I PURPLE YOU! <33